Have U Got The New Look? ME2/DA Make-up

By Kieron Gillen on May 20th, 2010 at 11:40 am.

Instead of doing a podcast, John should give his own personal grooming videotips. Like making sure you get most of the food you eat out of your beard. It's a winner!

I came to Mass Effect 2 late, and after a couple of weeks of man-chat and man-shoot, finished it off last night. And so, I wandered off to Youtube to have a look for some of the choices I stepped away from and to relive my sexing of a mental lizard. At which point, I come across the make-up tutorials of UtopianDream (Who’s affiliated with the splendidly-named gamer-model agency Charisma +2 ). Her initial Miranda Mass Effect 2 one seems to have been linked quite widely back in February – which I missed – but her later ones for Morrigan Dragon age and (RPS IRRELEVANT!) Bayonetta (er) Bayonetta have been ignored. UNTIL NOW. Do you do requests, UtopianDream? If so, SHODAN. Go on. You know you want to. Her tutorials follow…

And no-one, but no-one is going to get the band the title line is referencing. At least without googling.

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134 Comments »

  1. Griddle Octopus says:

    (forwards to girlfriend)

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    lhzr says:

    (marks as spam)

    what a juvenile scam.

    ahem.

  3. Brumisator says:

    My Y chromosome must be messing with my charisma detection.
    I don’t see any difference between the before and after shots.

    • nine says:

      You are not alone.

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      Sagan says:

      @Brumisator & nine:

      That’s because at the beginning of the video she is already wearing the make-up. To see the difference pause her first video at 0:25. Open a second window and compare.
      At least the difference around the eyes should be obvious.

    • El Stevo says:

      @ Brumisator:

      I couldn’t see a difference between the three different outcomes, apart from a slightly different shade of blue around the eyes.

    • stahlwerk says:

      @brumisator et al. it’s only her left (to the viewer’s right) eye that’s de-makeupped (made down?) before she begins. It’s more obvious in the 2nd and 3rd videos.

    • Brumisator says:

      Thanks for assuming I’m a moron -_-’

      I expressed myself poorly, what I meant is that it just looks the same every time, maybe slightly different eye shadow, but….it’s still the same girl, just a regular girl.

    • robrob says:

      In the video Jim didn’t link to she transforms into a beetle.

    • robrob says:

      Or Kieron, whoever wrote the article. My reading comprehension – she is not so good.

    • gulag says:

      I guess it’s the same for people who don’t play games, the FPS’s all look the same, etc.

      I’m sure a beautician would notice the subtle differences. Any makeup artists in the house? Anyone?

    • Brumisator says:

      gulag, that was kind of my point, WTF is this doing on RPS?

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      Sagan says:

      Regarding all three looking the same:
      She does focus mostly on the eyes. And I think her blush and her lipstick is wrong for both Morrigan and Bayonetta. They use much darker make-up.

      Regarding this not deserving to be on RPS:
      How can you say that? This is useful even for men. I for one am going to go into the APB beta right now and try the Bayonetta make-up for my character.

    • Man Raised By Puffins says:

      Indeed, this post strikes me as very RPS. The only way it could be moreso would be if Kieron was applying the make-up to himself.

    • Alexander Norris says:

      He probably is.

      Also, he’s probably wearing fishnets and black nail polish as we speak.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      @Sagan
      Yeah, but their makeup is a little too dramatic. Don’t wanna look like a streetwalker, y’know?

      Also, I usually don’t read who the writer is and usually assume wrong. I was not wrong in this case.

  4. user@example.com says:

    I want to say Capricorns, or whoever that was, but further thinking indicates that was the new sound. And far too catchy.

  5. stahlwerk says:

    Curling the eyelashes (e.g. 4:14 in the first vid) will never again look anything but horrible to me, having watched A Clockwork Orange.

    Can’t comment on her craftswomenship in make up applying, but the Miranda look is really nice for its subtlety.

    • Mister Adequate says:

      My girlfriend has an eyelash curler like that and I am absolutely convinced its purpose is to remove eyelids.

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    Christian says:

    I first thought Eurithmics…but the song I’m thinking of when reading the title is a bit too much pop for that…so rather Roxette? So man possible references. That’s why music is great.

    I’m not going through 5 minutes of make-up-videos to find out, so can somebody tell me if she’s going to dress up as Miranda as well? Then it might be worth watching I guess. But still, I find the video of the guy making his own Big Daddy-costume more interesting..

  7. kafka7 says:

    She likes penguins. That was the clincher for me.

    Also, is Bayonetta a really dangerous dessert?

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    drewski says:

    It’s not Roxette, it’s just close to a song they wrote. Knowing KG, it’s probably the Acid Reflux Haispray Explosion or something.

    I can tell the difference, but frankly, she’s pretty enough without makeup so…meh.

  9. /V/endetta says:

    I prefer natural looking girls.

    • stahlwerk says:

      One of the findings in a limited survey I once did was that it’s actually kinda hard to achieve a “natural” look. ;-)

    • Brumisator says:

      it’s easy, DON’T USE ANY MAKE-UP.

    • RedFred says:

      I call bullshit.

  10. Langman says:

    She could have at least put her hair up in the same way as Morrigan.

  11. gulag says:

    Wait, no-one has said it yet, so I will:

    Damn! Hawt grrl up in dat vid dawg. Woof!

    What?!

  12. Kieron Gillen says:

    I’m tempted to demand that anyone thinking she should have done better post pictures of themselves dressed as Morrigan or Miranda.

    Oh man. That could be the best post ever. Or the one which finally gets RPS closed down.

    KG

  13. the wiseass says:

    I must have landed on the wrong website. This must be Rock, Paper, Lipstick. Where are my SHOTGUNS goddammit?

  14. Tei says:

    I can’t see a woman withouth thinking about the evolution of our culture on the last 100.000 years, the gestalt, patos and subtext of our civilization, the diference betwean social adquired and genetic, the apropos and naive of genres, the fight of the achiever versus the collector, competition versus cooperation. But the time I have stoped looking as his ass, I have revised about the 90% of the human gnosis.

    • Heliocentric says:

      “His ass/woman” fraudian typo?

    • CMaster says:

      Possibly, but Tei makes a lot of pronoun gender errors.
      Could be just due to the generally poor level of english, or because Tei’s original language has no gender-specific pronouns

      Used to be in a clan with some finns who did the his/her he/she mixup all the time and they didn’t care either.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      CMaster, that could have been for totally different reasons.

      Just sayin.

    • MajorManiac says:

      Personally I think Tei is a deity who transends gender.

  15. Ginger Yellow says:

    The handy thing is that a Miranda make-up job doubles as a Michael Jackson make-up job. Value for money!

  16. Rinox says:

    I think Tei should take up a career plagiarising Pynchon. Also, I am happy I am not him, for my thought processes tend to be quite more simple when seeing a woman.

  17. teo says:

    This is a joke right??

    • Paul B says:

      No, this is a joke:

      Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
      A. Two, but it’s bl**dy tricky getting them in there.

      (Ba-dum-tish)

      Joke courtesy of Kieron Gillen, from an old PCGamer issue.

  18. The Sombrero Kid says:

    the internet was so much better before girls found out about it.

  19. Joe Martin says:

    I could see no difference between any of them…

  20. Antsy says:

    Hmph! None of those went very well with my beard.

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    Okami says:

    The Sombrero Kid says:
    May 20, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    the internet was so much better before girls found out about it.

    Best. Comment. Ever.

  22. Alister says:

    Now she only needs to do a Tali video.

  23. Miked says:

    This is not work safe…

    • LukeE says:

      …because if anybody at work found out you’d been watching makeup tutorials they’d never let you live it down?

    • Miked says:

      Exactly… Someone almost saw me but I’m pretty speedy with the alt-tab!

  24. Drexer says:

    OK, with a closer introspective look I can notice a Miranda resemblance. I suppose it’s a nice subset of the cosplay effort.

    On the other hand, and I cannot believe no one asked this yet. What about Tali? Huh? HUH?!

    PS: Keep that ‘eyelashes-thing’ away from me. That thing is scarier than Hannibal Lecter.

  25. Vague-rant says:

    I think we lose man points for watching that.

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    AndrewC says:

    RPS: obviously not quite ready for women yet. Try again in 6 months?

  27. Schizoslayer says:

    It’s only a short leap from this to this:

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      You realize she’s at the Portland shows that Johnathon Coulton and Paul and Storm have every year, right? (At least for the past two years.)

      I think her songs are funny.

  28. Robert says:

    Ehm, isn’t the only reason that these videos get so much hits the fact that it features a cute girl that says nerdy names?

  29. Bhazor says:

    Surely the Bayonetta one should just be “Set make up gun on whore”?

  30. Mike says:

    The tag “Personal Beauty Regime” really doesn’t get enough use.

    • Sonic Goo says:

      Vote Personal Beauty Regime 2012.

      Because you’re worth it.

  31. Alastayr says:

    One question Gillen: Who forced you to post this? Was it your girlfriend? It was your girlfriend. Blink once if it was your girlfriend. Blink twice if you’re being held at gunpoint.

    Also, you’re a music encyclopaedia come alive.

  32. Thiefsie says:

    you all have girlfriends :(

    • westyfield says:

      But how? They’re gamers! The mainstream media has been telling me for years that gamers cannot get girlfriends!
      They… they wouldn’t lie to me, would they?

    • Bob Bobson says:

      I’ve even gone as far as having a wife, yet I am a gamer. The magic is…

      …so is she.

    • Corporate Dog says:

      @Bob: That’s NOTHING. I’ve got a wife and two kids.

      Which means I’ve bonked my wife…. TWICE!

    • Heliocentric says:

      @corporate dog i call bull. You probably just had IVF. Pictures or it didn’t happen.

    • Deston says:

      Bob Bobson: Hah. My slightly less than legitimate copy of Photoshop is registered to you.

    • Starky says:

      Funny world mine was registered to bob@bob.bob

      My name isn’t Bob.

  33. Jez says:

    There might be more fans of obscure, weird, late 90s, US-based rock bands on RPS than you expect, Kieron…

    Or it could just be Roxette reference! Who knows?

    • Kieron Gillen says:

      Jez: No, I think I know exactly the number. It’s a Venn diagram of us.

      KG

    • gloopylewdies says:

      Oh Kieron you can be so *snotty* writing the answer right there in the title haha!

      Which now kinda makes me sad ’cause I had to google what the hell is an venn diagram. Now I feel dumb, thanks a lot.

  34. Klaus says:

    There are no women on the internet.

    The person in those videos is a 49 year old man from the Philippines using space-tech. You bastards got fooled.

    • Sarlix says:

      Ah, the Internet.

      Where men are men

      Women are men

      And children are FBI agents .

  35. jeremypeel says:

    The only way this could have been more of a gamestream (patent pending) crossover would be if she used Warhammer paint in her ‘palette’.

    Dark Emerald Green, anyone?

  36. Radiant says:

    How hilarious is this as a counter point to those “We should be horrified for women at the portrayal of women in games” articles that always pop up?

    • Klaus says:

      Obviously the focus is supposed to be on the motorcycle. You are just ungentlemanly.

    • Premium User Badge

      Sagan says:

      This reminds me:
      I had a horrible Google experience from this post, because Kieron was mentioning Shodan make-up and I googled for images of her. Up came a sexy Shodan, which isn’t all too shocking. But the advertising is from something called “Bad Dragon Adult Toys” which is kind of… strange. Go find it yourself, I’m not going to link to it.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      *cough* the ads in Sagan’s link are waaaaay NSFW view at own risk *cough*

    • Superbest says:

      The domain is rule34.paheal.net, duh.

      In his defence, that is in the first row of google’s results for “SHODAN”.

  37. Premium User Badge

    Stense says:

    Doing eye make up effectively is one of the skills that I just don’t posses. Even if I did though, I’m not sure I’m even remotely geeky enough to try emulating the look of a character in a computer game. Still, some nice general tips, ta.

    • Atalanta says:

      Same here. The nice people at various makeup counters have explained the basics of eyeshadow and blending to me half a dozen times, but I just can’t get the hang of it.

    • Lilliput King says:

      The secret is not to worry about it too much.

      Men love it when you just glob it on.

    • The Great Wayne says:

      Yep, because we all want a tramp.

      Very good reference btw.

  38. Kieron Gillen says:

    Heh. By merely posting this story, I’ve made it almost impossible to google for the actual title I was referencing.

    KG

  39. Uhm says:

    No Jack?

    • Paul B says:

      Or Samara? On another point, 99 comments for a makeup tutorial – who’d thought it’d be so popular? I suspect it’ll become even more popular come the weekend ;)

    • Uhm says:

      I just wanted to watch her shave her head.

    • westyfield says:

      Shaved heads have been going downhill since V For Vendetta.

  40. Bolt Axyon says:

    Cool and her lisp is lovely.

  41. Jossoy says:

    http://imgur.com/oHmLh.png

    So, what are we supposed to be seeing here? Slightly different eye shadow?

    • Mr Labbes says:

      I don’t know much about make-up, but I don’t believe a webcam is suited to the task of conveying the subtle differences in style. In person, I’d guess everyone here would see a difference, unless gaming has destroyed your sight.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      @Mr Labbes
      What, you never got so angry you took a sledgehammer to your own eyes?

    • Mr Labbes says:

      I’m ashamed that it took me about ten seconds to get what you mean.

  42. Mario Figueiredo says:

    I’m not a big fan of makeup in a woman. I really do prefer no makeup at all. But as age settles in, this becomes, for most women, unacceptable. No matter how much their husbands (me, in this case) beg them not to.

    But sometimes I sit at the foot of my bed watching my wife do her makeup. And really she looks so lovely when doing it. There’s something about the gestures, the head movements, the facial expressions, that is a celebration to women beauty and uniqueness.

    I understand some people may see that as a sexist observation. Maybe I won’t gather the sympathy of especially the feminist bunch. But really, to me the makeup ritual is a very sensual moment. Long live women!

    • The Great Wayne says:

      This story is seriously lacking some booze and busty strippers !

      Really, just stop, or I’ll be going soft and it’ll hurt my BC2 perfs. Y’know, the whole “keep da rage going” story.

  43. The Great Wayne says:

    Incoming: the tutorial on how to do the Kratos make-up, by yours truly.

    Lads, don’t forget your crayolas and your hair clipper. Bring a good gallon of fresh blood while you’re at it.

    • Superbest says:

      “Where’s the bit where you overdose on steroids?”
      “Henna is not blood, dammit!”
      “BORING, I want a minotaur make up!”
      “Hey ladies of RPS, who wants to try this?”

  44. ZIGS says:

    This post both confuses and arouses me

  45. Finn says:

    What, no puerile commentary yet gentlemen? OK, I’ll take the responsibility:

    I’D HIT THAT!

    • The Great Wayne says:

      Come on, you know you’d even hit half that. And I’m not precising which half.

  46. Sarlix says:

    I started to watch this video like any other RPS one, until halfway through I realized I’m sat here watching a woman apply makeup, MAKEUP!. People snap out of it! *snap* *SNAP*

    • RedFred says:

      Yeah same here.

      Have the Tories started pumping oestrogen into the water supply in Britain?

  47. jonfitt says:

    When I heard “ME2 makeup” I immediately thought she was going to break out a bucket of blue paint.

  48. Carra says:

    Well, I’m now stuck with ‘”The look of Love by ABC” in my head. Damn you!

  49. ceasar_vestini says:

    Makes me think about the avatar-player relationship a little more. Nice post.