“Leaving Nothing Behind But A Blog Post”

By Alec Meer on June 10th, 2010 at 10:26 pm.

Valve! They’ve done it again! You’re going to like this comic about the launch of Fortified Team Two for Mac. You’re going to like it a lot. Unless you’re one of those people.

Which people? I ain’t telling. This place has their curvy stink all over them.

(Is that the first time we’ve seen Saxton Hale interacting with our brave teamsters, incidentally?Tell me, nerds. TELL ME.)

Also! Also! There’s a new offline training mode, featuring bots! And anyone playing TF2 on Mac before Monday gets free in-game iPod headphones! And there’s a new video, including a glimpse of the Engineer with a scoped shotgun! I’ve put a picture of the latter, which is possibly teasing the long-awaited engie update, below. Froth away, frothers.

You’d better all call it the SniSho, or I’ll be very cross.

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149 Comments »

  1. Frozenbyte says:

    But still no engineer update in sight… Also yes, it is the first time Saxton Hale has interacted with our brave teamsters.

    • Shadowmancer says:

      Didn’t you see the new shotgun the Engie has in the video?

    • Davie says:

      It looked amazing. I predict Engie Update within the month.

    • jonfitt says:

      Damn, how can I log in on a Mac before the 14th to get those headphones?
      I need to find a soulless automaton and borrow their Mac.

    • bleeters says:

      SNIPER SHOTGUN.

      It’s so ingenius, it just might work.

    • Antlia says:

      Honestly I think that shotgun is just a tease. They wouldn’t give a sniper shotgun to engie, would they?

    • tomeoftom says:

      SniSho? As if. It’s either the Snotgun or the Shopper, and that’s that.

    • Senethro says:

      I don’t think its a scope, I think its a Laser Aiming Module. Someone dug up a laser related sentry death icon added in a recent update.

      So, a sentry that you can aim maybe?

    • remover says:

      it’s a steam gauge

  2. Schmung says:

    I don’t even like playing TF2, but I crave these updates. Valve do this stuff better than anyone. Genuinely laughed a number of times reading that.

    • Eamo says:

      The real question is whether or not it is worth doing a 9 gig download onto my macbook of a game I will never play on that machine just to get a set of in-game earbuds :P

  3. subedii says:

    I’m not sure Valve could get any better at this than they already are.

    • TeeJay says:

      Now, if they could just integrate a football world cup BBC iPlayer picture-in-picture TV stream at the top right hand corner, a Spotify plug-in and a nice sound mixer, we’ll be able to multi-task some one-eyed-casual-couch-potato footie watching with a cool kwaito-electro-pop sound-track and some multi-player blasting.

      Oh yeah, and beer obv.

  4. gryffinp says:

    Scoped shotgun. Engie has clearly been playing Borderlands.

  5. solipsistnation says:

    Is that Michael Avon Oeming on the art there?

  6. Pesforozo says:

    A training mode is an excellent addition. In my mind, pretty much the only thing that needed adding.

    I’ve not played for a few months now, but TF2 remains the classiest act around.

  7. Rosti says:

    Ahem:

    Do you see yourself blubbering uncontrollably, surrounded by a ring of battle-hardened veterans who ridicule you for the slightest misstep? THIS WILL HAPPEN AND THEY ARE RIGHT TO TAUNT YOU.

    Oh Valve, I could never hate you. ::Swoon::

  8. pkt-zer0 says:

    It’s not a sniper shotgun, notice the antenna. Forum speculation suggests that it’s the Morgan community suggestion, which is a shotgun that can also be deployed as a sentry that sticks to walls.

  9. Uhm says:

    Saxton Hale wants to buy Aperture Science!
    Also, his chest hair is in the shape of Australia! Details.

    • Dozer says:

      THAT IS THE MOST AMUSING THING I’VE SEEN ALL WEEK and I’ve just been to a dinner party where a friend of mine randomly invited a couple of 60-year-old strangers who live on a houseboat

  10. Web Cole says:

    Hehehe, lovin’ it :D

  11. Mr_Day says:

    I would dearly love it if someone playing on a Mac had the shiny versions of the weapons instead of the usual models.

    Also, the shovel should be on fire at all times. All times.

  12. Carra says:

    Incredible what mileage Valve manages to get from a single game.

  13. Jugglenaut says:

    totally excited about that new shotty for the engie in the video. All else is meh.

  14. caged_devil says:

    I thought I was the only one! It doesn’t look like a scope at all. If anything it reminds me of the modified shotgun in Bioshock as it’s sitting in a similar spot. Though if it were to take cues from borderlands I’d still be waiting with mad anticipation for the Engy update.

  15. Matzerath says:

    Bot mode! Color me amazed!

  16. westyfield says:

    *Swoon*

    Oh Valve, I love you.

    The “admit one: gun show” explosion will be reused by me a great deal, oh yes.

  17. RedFred says:

    So the chance of a lowered price for TF2 when the update drops is still pretty high?

  18. Rinox says:

    PROPERTY DAMAGE!

  19. Thants says:

    The website says available on the Mac now but the store says coming soon. Why must you taunt me, Valve?

  20. Metalfish says:

    A while ago I suggested to Valve via email (the slightly stupid idea) that the new engineer building should be a rocket launching pod that was directed by a laser sight attached to a 2 round shotgun. Of course this is a complete coincidence, but I’m still slightly smug about the potential of having an identical idea to the team.

    Of course I didn’t use my steam name so even if they did use my idea and acknowledge it I wouldn’t get a shiny community weapon anyway.

    I look forward to the next update in any case.

  21. Wallace says:

    Brilliance.

  22. Chiburger says:

    I’m liking it. Except for the complete tripe of a menu redesign. Way too many buttons. Is it because Mac’s can’t right click? How do they play then?

    • malkav11 says:

      Macs have been able to right click for eons.

    • DarkNoghri says:

      I’ve been reading about how bad the new menus are, but the one screenshot I saw looked so horrible I thought it had to be a shop. Can someone post a picture? I don’t want to re-install just for this.

    • Polysynchronicity says:

      The new menus would be fine if they didn’t obscure the goddamn art, which is designed for menus on the left!

    • DarkNoghri says:

      Aggh, it wasn’t a shop.

      What on earth was wrong with clear text descriptions that didn’t cover up half the screen?

  23. Will Tomas says:

    The press release for the training mode is absolute genius. I love it, it cracked me up good and proper.

  24. airtekh says:

    LOL @ the soldier choosing a hat to wear in the background of the video.

    Only Valve does stuff like this, and that’s why I love them.

    • DerangedStoat says:

      haha yeah, after reading the text to the earbud page about hats, seeing the soldier standing over a crate of them in the background of the movie left me in hysterics.

    • Rosti says:

      @airtekh – Heh! This little trailer has far too much incidental detail to be the product of any sane company. F’rex, the BLU team are standing outside “JOBBS Orchard”…

  25. Patrick says:

    Entertaining comic with some great structuring (id, ego, super-ego all present) but it came off that the comic’s purpose wasn’t to entertain parsay, but to advertise the flexibility of the “mac” and all its wonderful little gadgets (there is one for everyone, even the soldier). This comic was complete with a Mac logo yet there was no valve, tf2, hl2, steam or anything PC GAME related anywhere (besides the 3 stooges).

    Yes entertaining, but obviously co-opting tf2 into a consumerist paradise (hell).

    • Thants says:

      Clearly this was all a ploy to advertise Apple’s new firewire pig-roaster. Or, alternately, just a fun way of promoting TF2 being released for Macs.

      There was nothing PC game related, other then it being about 3 PC game characters?

    • Phasma Felis says:

      Uh huh. Because all the other comics have constantly name-dropped Valve, Steam, Team Fortress, and Half-Life (what?). I liked the one where Saxton Hale just talked about his Steam achievements for twelve pages.

      I swear, some people just can’t stand anyone liking something they don’t like.

    • admanb says:

      Patrick, you are insane.

      I don’t mean that in the nicest way possible.

    • Edgar the Peaceful says:

      I really don’t mean this is an arsey way:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Per_se

      I used to write ‘Praisie’ for précis.

    • Arthur Barnhouse says:

      They’re launching the game for Mac. Were you expecting a comic where the heavy pisses in Steve Job’s mouth? Yes, the purpose was to say nice things about Macs, in a funny and silly way meant to be entertaining to non-mac users as well. It isn’t required that they do hard hitting satire.

  26. DollarOfReactivity says:

    Again, love this. And I don’t even like comics (sorry Kieron) or play TF2. Except maybe now I’ll try the practice mode. Only the bots will know my shame.

  27. lizardizzle says:

    it’s probably not a scope. Looks like a mounted flare gun to me. DISCUSS.

    • jon_hill987 says:

      It is probably not a scope as the barrel of the shotgun is not long enough for it to be worth having a scope, the spread would be too high.

    • bleeters says:

      We’re talking about a world where throwing a bottle of urine at your opponents is a viable tactic. Speak not of trivial plausabilities!

    • Nick says:

      Not to mention shotguns can fire slugs.

  28. Phasma Felis says:

    Uh huh. Because all the other comics have constantly name-dropped Valve, Steam, Team Fortress, and Half-Life (what?). I liked the one where Saxton Hale just talked about his Steam achievements for twelve pages.

    I swear, some people just can’t stand anyone liking something they don’t like.

  29. Vanderdecken says:

    Is that the sleeve of a black turtleneck being rolled up in the last panel of the comic?

  30. Urthman says:

    If the night sky of Portal 2 has no moon, it is proof that TF2 is in the same universe as Portal and GLaDOS is The Announcer.

    WATCH THE SKIES!

  31. DarkNoghri says:

    I love the Sniper’s total look of disgust near the start of the vid.

  32. Nimic says:

    I have literally no idea what went on in that comic.

  33. Merzbau says:

    Here’s hoping we can snatch the earbuds right off their smug, fancy little heads with a timely domination, like with the Halloween top hat.

  34. mcnostril says:

    So Macs are the blue team.

    PCs are the red team.

    They get fancy earbuds, meanwhile our spies had sex with their mothers.
    I think we win.

  35. malkav11 says:

    I love that comic. I love it so much. I love every tiniest panel of it.

  36. Afro says:

    “America’s #1 war-themed hat simulator”, it’s just so awesome!

  37. JAMESATRON says:

    I love the irony of jonfitt’s comment. I presume he calls us soulless automotons because of the rather weak argument that mac fans are fad followers while he froths at the mouth for a piece of iPod digital memorabilia. how astutely pathetic.

  38. Mad Doc MacRae says:

    I would kill a man in cold blood for Valve.

    Double so if I got an exclusive hat for it.

  39. WocHie says:

    THATS NOT A SCOPE ON THAT SHOTGUN! IS EVERYONE BLIND??

  40. Namos says:

    Well, the shovel just might, seeing as it is in line for a rebalance (utter garbage compared to the equalizer).

  41. Tei says:

    The thing on the shotgun can be a “detector”. Maybe it able to detect spys. So a engineer with this tool can reveal spys from distance.

  42. Tom OBedlam says:

    Fuck thats funny.

  43. Passive Engie says:

    Thats not a scope at all! those a remote thing on one end and the other end has no hole to see out of!

  44. Kerosiinipelle says:

    BRAVE PRESS!

  45. Mappy says:

    My theory is that shotgun has an antenna that can detect the position of enemy sentries, which would give a reason to get into the action and not sit on their own sentry. Engineers don’t need more protection against spies, since that would just lead to longer matches.

  46. Schaulustiger says:

    I have nothing valuable to say except that I’m laughing my ass off at work right now. This is so funny and entertaining, it makes every other company’s PR attempts look plain stupid.

  47. VashPL says:

    That’s interesting… Pyro really IS female? O.o

    http://yfrog.com/mkpyrofemalej

    • bleeters says:

      Oh lord, the disturbing-deviant-art-picture ratio is going to spiral out of control.

    • Phydaux says:

      It changes between saying him and her.

  48. Inigo says:

    @VashPL

    From what I hear, the pronoun changes at random whenever you start the game

  49. sfury says:

    Is he gonna battle Steve Jobs in the next issue? I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!

    zewy

  50. TheBlackBandit says:

    I love Valve. I love them.