By Jim Rossignol on August 9th, 2010 at 2:36 pm.
Candella Software send word that they are developing a new racing game, Cargasm. A flavour of the announcement: “During races, players will be constantly exhorted to go faster by a bevy of Cargasm Girls. If they are fast enough, players can collect these ravishing maidens for their own personal Cargasm Harem.” It also boasts a photorealistic central London to race around. That’s going to make someone’s day, I hope.
Anyway, the “gasm” suffix has, of course, found a home in games before, with Wargasm, and probably others I can’t bring to mind. Inspired to push the idea further, I asked my Twitter followers what other ways the ‘gasm suffix could find its way into the gaming lexicon. The results, such as they are, are below.
The top three suggestions were
1. Loregasm
2. Soregasm
3. Oregasm
Here’s how some of the twitterati explained their choices when I asked how the ‘gasm could be used in game marketing:
@davemcleod Loregasm – when a lore check rolls a critical in D&D. Or spending an hour on Lostipedia.
@Norgg Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Lawgasm
@butterbumps Moorgasm, based on Shakespeare’s Othello. And of course the Star Trek Online expansion, Borgasm.
@McKelvie Thorgasm. Moregasm. Poorgasm (the sexual poverty game).
@MrAkPublishing Connect Fourgasm?
@kierongillen Or surely there’s room for a BIG BONUS! moment where the game screams SCOREGASM!
(If that doesn’t already exist then the entire history of gaming has failed us.)
@RevStu Don Priestley’s Speccy classic “The Trap Doorgasm”?
@Beschizza Experience the unique thrill of gliding with Soargasm.
@BRKeogh Ya mum? (…sorry)
Oh and “Choregasm” is clearly that “achievements for domestic tasks” ARG thing all sexed up.
What would you like to see get a ‘gasm, readers?
09/08/2010 at 14:40 robrob says:
Phwoargasm.
09/08/2010 at 14:41 ScubaMonster says:
I don’t know, I have an aversion to any game that uses ridiculous names like this, because it gives me the impression the game itself is terrible and has to get noticed by name alone. Not to mention it just sounds stupid and I’d be embarrassed having someone seeing me load it up.
Racing games are about racing. Not collecting virtual sluts.
09/08/2010 at 15:23 Kieron Gillen says:
And because of thinking like this LEGEND OF WAR: WAR OF LEGENDS VIII dominates the shelves.
KG
09/08/2010 at 16:40 Devenger says:
Can’t wait for The Call of Grand Theft Duty XIV, eh?
09/08/2010 at 14:41 LewieP says:
Tom Clancy gasm.
09/08/2010 at 15:11 1nightStand says:
I laughed
09/08/2010 at 15:19 robrob says:
Tom Clancy’s HAWEgasm
09/08/2010 at 14:42 CaptainHairy says:
I’m pretty sure ‘goregasm’ has been used somewhere before, so I’m just going to suggest ‘Sporegasm’, sequel to Spore, using the tried and tested idea that sex sells.
09/08/2010 at 20:34 7rigger says:
I’ve only heard ‘Goregasm’ used in the incredibly silly wii game House of the Dead: Overkill, when yoiu got a certain kill combo.
Although hearing your telly belt that out while the wife is in bed is another fun game entirely :p
09/08/2010 at 14:43 BooleanBob says:
Media types talking, again, about media types talking about twitter, on twitter: Boregasm.
(I love you really, media types.)
09/08/2010 at 14:54 Skorpeyon says:
I noticed that incredibly surrealistic trend lately. I’ll read an article, with a link to where they got the info. Upon clicking that link, I’m presented with another article that is linked to yet another, and so on. I await the day that I read one article after another until I’m somehow looped back to the original article I had read due to someone having edited their article and added a new link to said article.
That may be confusing, but that’s how I feel when these things happen anyway, so welcome to the party.
09/08/2010 at 14:43 Catweazle says:
The follow up to DarkSpore, Sporegasm?
09/08/2010 at 14:44 TotalBiscuit says:
Allow me to demonstrate the average RPS comments section everytime the cancellation of a PC version is announced.
BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWgasm.
Justified, but still, point stands.
09/08/2010 at 14:46 Risingson says:
Dickgasm. Which, contrary to what you may think at first, is a game based on the fascinating universes of Philip K. Dick.
09/08/2010 at 14:47 Kangarootoo says:
Offshoregasm – a game about oilrigs.
East Timorgasm – a game about historical portugese colonization.
And err… gurantorgasm – a game about…. securing a loan?
09/08/2010 at 14:47 c-Row says:
Thorgasm – a StarCraft II expansion pack
09/08/2010 at 14:49 Risingson says:
Degasm . Which is, of course, an impressionistic shooter.
09/08/2010 at 14:51 Risingson says:
Impresionist, I meant.
09/08/2010 at 14:49 Janek says:
“Adult” Pictionary (as if it didn’t already devolve into crudely-drawn cocks) in Drawgasm.
Chronicles of a high-TV chaos Blood Bowl team in Clawgasm.
Dwarf Fortres-esque mining simulator, Boregasm.
The latest business sim, Storegasm.
Unsettling Starcraft expansion, Zergasm.
The highly publicised adventures of Tiger Woods, Four!gasm.
09/08/2010 at 14:52 Man Raised By Puffins says:
Is this what Quinns will experience when he finally gets enough iron?
09/08/2010 at 14:54 Man Raised By Puffins says:
I would also suggest Awlgasm, but that just sounds incredibly painful.
09/08/2010 at 14:52 Risingson says:
And, of course, RockPaperShotgasm.
09/08/2010 at 19:00 shinygerbil says:
Damn, you beat me to it! I was gonna suggest Rock, Paper, Gasm, which I think shounds slightly better. :P
09/08/2010 at 14:54 Demon Beaver says:
Valve announces details on HL2: Episode 3 – Gordogasm, Portagasm, Vortigasm
DLC for Bonetown: Bonetown – Moregasm
StarCraft 2: Heart of the Swarm – Zergasm
This is horrible, isn’t it?
Main character for an adult game which is a spin-off of Jedi Academy: Jaden Korrgasm
God, I’ll stop now
09/08/2010 at 14:58 Mister, Please says:
Scoregasm is already in development as a bullet shooter, see here
09/08/2010 at 14:59 Alex Bakke says:
Worgasm: That scene in LOTR.
09/08/2010 at 15:10 Man Raised By Puffins says:
Warg-gasm, surely?
09/08/2010 at 15:13 Alex Bakke says:
Ah, of course. Sorry.
09/08/2010 at 15:00 Furius says:
I wrote a song called Whoregasm once. I was fourteen.
09/08/2010 at 15:03 Moni says:
and/or-gasm: The overuse of a logically redundant phrase.
09/08/2010 at 15:08 Sobric says:
Sargasm
09/08/2010 at 20:37 7rigger says:
Sargassum Fish! Mighty hunter of the deep…..
09/08/2010 at 15:19 Risingson says:
Celibategasm. The game only played by oxy-morons.
Risingson, classy wordplay
09/08/2010 at 15:21 James G says:
Unsuregasm: Are you genuinely pleasuring your partner, or are they just faking it?
09/08/2010 at 15:26 James G says:
Insuregasm: Managements game in which you provide liability insurance to birth control manufacturers.
Worms Armagasm: Annelida reproduction has never been this explosive!
09/08/2010 at 15:22 Novotny says:
Chasmgasm? I refuse to speculate on this.
09/08/2010 at 15:42 Heliosicle says:
A game where you traverse Wookey Hole?
09/08/2010 at 15:24 Novotny says:
Gasmgate?
09/08/2010 at 15:27 Heliosicle says:
Oregasm reminds me of Minecraft!
Must play more, my tower is awesome/useless.
09/08/2010 at 15:28 UW says:
Guffawgasm, when you laugh so hard that you… well you get it.
Incidentally that is something I may never be able to do again at the “gasm” suffix having completely overloaded on it because of this post.
In fact I think I may have just had a supererogatorgasm. Paha! Well shut my mouth.
09/08/2010 at 15:31 westyfield says:
This reminds me of Kingdom of Loathing’s Orc Chasm – a chasm where the orcs live.
09/08/2010 at 15:33 westyfield says:
Oooh oooh, how about:
Dragon Age: Origasm
or
Garry’sgasm?
09/08/2010 at 15:34 Sweedums says:
RAWRgasm, a game about dinosaur mating rituals, with impending expansion packs in the form of Tyrannosaurgasm, stegosaurgasm and velociraptorgasm.
09/08/2010 at 15:35 Mr Ak says:
D’awwwwgasm – the kitten porn game.
09/08/2010 at 16:52 Mr Ak says:
I had another one.
George Bernard Shawgasm.
09/08/2010 at 15:40 BooleanBob says:
Flawgasm: A Woody Allen film about neurotics having sex. (Parts of the previous sentence may have been redundant.)
09/08/2010 at 15:42 Malawi Frontier Guard says:
If you want a photorealistic version of central London, just look at a photograph.
09/08/2010 at 15:43 westyfield says:
Or go to central London.
09/08/2010 at 16:05 Gotem says:
What is strange is that the cargasm girls want to go with the fastest guy instead of the one who lasts longer
09/08/2010 at 16:13 Kieron Gillen says:
One of my proudest, most embarrassing moment was getting that actual one liner into a Outrun 2006 PCG review.
In fact, I republished it on RPS. Relevant bit: “All unrealistic. All glorious. Its disdain for the real also enters its sexual politics. For example, the levels where you have to stay ahead of another car to stop your girlfriend splitting up with you. In real life, of course, it’s far more likely your girl will dump you if you constantly come first. ”
KG
09/08/2010 at 16:08 Taillefer says:
Awegasm. It’s that awesome.
So this is a game about reaching female cargasms as quickly as possible?
09/08/2010 at 16:23 Brulleks says:
Korg-asm
An overenthusiastic midi program.
09/08/2010 at 16:58 Lambchops says:
That raised the biggest chuckle from me, bravo sir.
09/08/2010 at 16:24 Freud says:
Misogasm – where the 20th century never happened.
09/08/2010 at 16:26 pepper says:
Unreal style: M-M-M-M-MONSTERGASM.
or half-life style: …..(Silentgasm, gordon freeman)
09/08/2010 at 16:29 Tenorek says:
Foregasm: Some kind of golf simulator where beautiful women entice you to hit the balls really hard, and where the size of your score matters, in the other direction.
09/08/2010 at 16:46 Devenger says:
Defenestratorgasm: a game studying the unique euphoria experienced when throwing nobles out of the higher windows of a tall building.
10/08/2010 at 00:22 jeremypeel says:
You simply must play Splinter Cell Conviction.
09/08/2010 at 16:52 Grundlewart says:
Not game related, but I’m pretty sure that after reading “From Hell” I had an Alan Mooregasm.
09/08/2010 at 17:01 Lambchops says:
Clore-gasm – In which you play Green Wing’s dithering c(ons)u(lta)nt radioligist Alan Statham as he comes up with increasingly bizarre ways to satisfy the utterly bonkers Joanna Clore.
09/08/2010 at 17:01 Gotem says:
gaAaaAAAaAAAAaaAAsm!: a reckless disregard for overused puns
09/08/2010 at 17:07 stahlwerk says:
Total Redundancy: Pleogasm: The Game
09/08/2010 at 17:42 Jimbo says:
That is a terrible, terrible title. It doesn’t even work properly.
09/08/2010 at 17:50 Navagon says:
Paperclip Simulatorgasm.
09/08/2010 at 17:50 Nimdok says:
Virtual Pundit: Jawgasm. Or, alternately, Jawsgasm: Jaws Returns.
Blahgasm: Making boredom FUN
Oigasm: Listen to two Rabbi discuss their ailments for fifteen hours: THE GAME
Oygasm: Listen to British street punks argue over who gets to (insert racially insensitive cliche here) before everyone else.
09/08/2010 at 18:01 c-Row says:
A game of mutual dissatisfaction: Norgasm
09/08/2010 at 18:04 Deston says:
Borgasm. Space based shootybangs with pew-pew lasers, crazy cyborg communist aliens pop up on-screen to flash their mutilated robo genitalia at you every time you blow something up.
…. Awww yeah.
09/08/2010 at 18:11 Calabi says:
You should have consolation prizes for coming in different places. The further you go down in the grid, you still get a women but she gets plumper until shes so fat she collapses the car.
Or maybe if your really fast you get one go to freely rape any of the girls. Why not its what the worlds coming to.
09/08/2010 at 18:17 Hardtarget says:
Man Wargasm was such a great game, shame nobody seems to remember it anymore. You guys should do a write up!
09/08/2010 at 18:24 SuperNashwan says:
Orcasm – The Orca Breeding Game!
OrgaSim, a porn game, probably Japanese…
Eeyoregasm, give a grumpy donkey a happy ending.
09/08/2010 at 19:33 Item! says:
Oargasm – the new sculling simulator
09/08/2010 at 20:04 Flakfizer says:
@shinygerbil
Rock, paper, gasm wouldn’t be much of a game since nothing beats a ‘gasm …
09/08/2010 at 20:41 Dhatz says:
Rock, paper, shotgasm?
09/08/2010 at 20:37 AndrewC says:
The latest in a long line of Cooking Mama spin-offs all about Noah trying to cook all his wife her favourite meal so he could get some sex on the long voyage: Gasm Ark 4.
09/08/2010 at 20:37 David says:
Would it ever be possible to make a racing game by Top Gears standards?
09/08/2010 at 20:43 Dhatz says:
I can’t even count how many niggawuts are in this question XD.
09/08/2010 at 20:41 Dhatz says:
how I imagine gasming in perfect game: after unocking the living shit out of all bonus content, it should scream Moargasm! and add some 3 über rewards using some funny animation.
09/08/2010 at 21:08 OJ287 says:
Carnivore: February 2011, cars no longer have drivers and after global oil reserves ran out alternative fuels were needed. The only viable bio-fuel was meat. Packs of cars had soon consumed all food stocks of meat leaving only one source left… humanity.
09/08/2010 at 21:25 amishmonster says:
And its sequel, CARnivoregasm, where humanity has once again tamed the cars and forced them to a slavery of racing for women.
Criticized as being too similar to the first game in the series.
09/08/2010 at 21:58 Sarble says:
Floorgasm – gosh that’s some shiny lino.
Snoregasm – gosh my nose is sensitive tonight.
Cardigasm – gosh that’s some nice knitwear.
Torgasm – gosh that’s a nice stone outcrop.
Rawgasm – gosh that smarts.
Pawgasm – gosh that’s some soft kittens.
Ignoregasm – gosh that’s… hello, are you listening to me?
09/08/2010 at 22:00 Sarble says:
Exploregasm – gosh, that’s an open world you’ve got.
09/08/2010 at 22:21 Nesetalis says:
I came, in, My pants.
09/08/2010 at 23:14 Risingson says:
Megaracegasm 4 Deluxe. The overlong name to an unnecesary sequel that would not be that strange if it was released.
10/08/2010 at 00:31 jeremypeel says:
Drawgasm: A title in which the objects you draw with your mouse form the means by which you compl-… Oh.
Jawgasm: In which you control a creature made mostly of mouth, pursuing morsels around a purpose-built food maze… Oh.
Pawgasm: A casual game in which the only objective is to look after a virtual cani-… Oh.
Well, it looks like plenty of suitable games have missed this grand opportunity already.
10/08/2010 at 02:16 Wulf says:
What. What? Baahahahahahahahaa… hahahahaha!
Oh good show, Jim. Good show.
So, um… uh. Ah. Wow. Right. Contributions!
Corpsgasm: A gritty, distant future Japanese visual novel about two lonely space machines, trapped on a doomed ship. A tale told of their very last moments alive.
*cackles.*
…aahahahaha… hahahaha. Oh lordy, I must tell everyone about this.
10/08/2010 at 02:17 Wulf says:
FREUDIAN SLIP.
That was supposed to be marines.
Gods, slipping in machines just made that about 100x more disturbing than I had intended.
:D
10/08/2010 at 02:31 Scandalon says:
Carmegasm, surely?
10/08/2010 at 04:34 FraffaGraff says:
I read ‘oregasm’ as Oregasm Trail.