Tubular: Part-Time Angle Grinder Hero

By Quintin Smith on August 13th, 2010 at 5:17 pm.

Something for the weekend, sir? May I recommend Part-time Angle Grinder Hero? You can download it from here, then load it by dragging the 14mb .swf file into your browser. It is an epic tale of love, drinking, and angle grinding. But mainly drinking. And angle grinding.

Plus, the music’s amazing.

I cannot get enough of games which exaggerate incredibly mundane settings. I really can’t. I suspect if I ever got really rich the vanity game I’d commission would be a full simulation of suburban life, complete with terrible blue collar job, dysfunctional family and dusty house, but all passed through the filter of some mad game designer’s brain. It’d be a strange labyrinth of materialism, sexual frustration, violence and insecurity, with surreal dialogue and motion captured animation where the actors had been told to walk as if they were a badly animated videogame characters. It would also feature an unwinnable sex minigame portrayed entirely in analogies. So, you’d be steering a train into a tunnel, but the train would always veer away at the last second and crash spectacularly into the wall.

Uh- where was I? Oh yes. Part-time Angle Grinder Hero. Get it here. Here’s a video! And enjoy your Friday night.

, , .

23 Comments »

  1. Sarlix says:

    I’ve always said games don’t have enough Angle Grinders in them.

    Also, DOOM GRINDER!!!

  2. MacBeth says:

    [obligatory MMO grinding joke]

  3. linfosoma says:

    Is it wrong that I would pay to play your vanity game?

  4. Jayt says:

    bit o fun

  5. Feet says:

    84990, got up to the diamond grinder.

    yeaeeah

    • DrazharLn says:

      144570 – Day 12, Diamond grinder, oh yeah!

      I maxed out on coffee every day and just cut the whole bar off when it got too long (for -1000 points per failed cut)

    • DrazharLn says:

      144950 – Day 11 – Doom Grinder

  6. Feet says:

    Right right right. On the later grinders the extension chord can’t take it and over heats so you have to pulse rather than keep spinning the grinder.

    It’s ok, I got this now…..

  7. Dhatz says:

    Vuvu Hero has way better music.

  8. Sarlix says:

    The way the man in the background pops in and out waving his arm about is just tantalizing. I’m sawely disappointed you can’t lop his arm off for some bonus points.

    @Feet dang 84990! I only got 54960 and up to the blessed grinder…Trying to get three perfects in a row is surprisingly tricky…has anyone managed it?

  9. Sagan says:

    Ah yes this is going to be another Friday evening well spent.

  10. unaco says:

    This immediately reminds me of the Drunken-Axe-Throwing-At-The-Maiden’s-Pigtails minigame at the beginning of Heimdall (used extensively on the Sky One video games chow with Bob Mills… Whatever that was called… Games World?).

  11. El Mariachi says:

    You don’t use a handheld angle grinder to cut pipe/tubing to precise lengths, you use a chopsaw.

  12. Danny Pants says:

    This game makes me unbelievably happy. The music, the angle grinding, the calendar, getting mad at the boss randomly popping in and questioning my angle grinding talent! It’s amazing, and makes for the most one of the best drunken Friday nights eva!

    I’ve gotten up to the “Unholy Grinder”. Any tips for getting further than this? I usually skimp on the coffee, and just use all my money for the grinders whenever I can afford. Is there any way to earn more than $100 per week?

    Grind on!

  13. Stabby says:

    I almost died laughing watching the suggested video Vuvuzela Hero after the trailer was done.

  14. LionsPhil says:

    It would also feature an unwinnable sex minigame portrayed entirely in analogies. So, you’d be steering a train into a tunnel, but the train would always veer away at the last second and crash spectacularly into the wall.

    This is what Hot Coffee should have been.

  15. EoL says:

    http://www.assembly.org/summer10/news/gamedev-entries-published

    Here are all of the entrees for the assembly game compo. Part-Time Angle Grinder Hero being a part of it.

    And in case you don’t know what Assembly is, it’s a finnish demo/lan-happening.

  16. Longboot says:

    I goddamn love angle grinding IRL. It’s my favourite thing after speed and sourdough bread. I gotta try this.