Ship Simulator Extremes… Tourist Missions!

By Kieron Gillen on August 31st, 2010 at 8:00 pm.

A chance to use a Gang of Four 'At home he's a tourist' gag missed. C'est la vie.

Jim posted about Ship Simulator Extremes last week. What could make us post about it again? The fact it’s out now and available to buy from digital-distributor places would be the obvious one, but that would make far too much sense. No, I was attracted by Paradox releasing a press release about the Tourist campaign – complete with trailer. 13 missions where you take a luxury cruiser “on an eventful cruise around the world”. It doesn’t get much better than that, except for enormous orgasms. You’ll find the trailer below, along with another one explaining the Greenpeace Campaign missions…

Of course, it’s even better when you tube-dub it to have the Hawaii Five-O music. But then again, isn’t everything?

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28 Comments »

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  1. Freud says:

    I really like that they decided to add the word “Extremes” to the title. It sounds like they are going after the demographics that enjoy the Tony Hawk games.

  2. patricij says:

    seagasms?

    /coat
    -Frankie

    • protorp says:

      It’s S.S.Ex.

      Do they have Carry on Cruising missions?

    • patricij says:

      Check CDWOW’s DVD bargain basement, they might have some ;)
      And excuse me now, I must Destroy The Brain….mmm, brains

      -Frankie the Patrician[PF]

    • M says:

      I think we settled on shoregasms.

  3. Yeah says:

    Greenpeace missions, eh? I can only hope this means running over the Rainbow Raft with my massive oil supertanker.

  4. Snall says:

    Unless I can release drones or aircraft to bomb the mainland …or other ships!…I’m not interested.

  5. Sarlix says:

    The first trailer made me lol. The idea of sitting at my PC running a cruise ship simulator seems like the most boring task ever… what’s that you say, we’re at 3 knots! the excitement!

    Clearly there is more to it though, and it does look kind of fun. What with the men overboard and fires on the galley. It would be nice to have some escort missions where you get to control navy frigates and cross pirate infested waters. Torpedoes a stern! dive! dive!

    Oh wait, thats submarines. Never mind :(

  6. Premium User Badge

    stahlwerk says:

    In the greenpeace video, the actions of the player didn’t seem to impact the scenario at all.

    Which is quite the accurate simulation… ;-(

  7. konrad_ha says:

    Now I know what to do once I hit retirement.

  8. smokingkipper says:

    Young man…

  9. smokingkipper says:

    I reckon there is room for a proper Somali pirate simulator.

  10. ZIGS says:

    Did I just see a sailboat with a helipad in the second video? Are they serious?

    • MWoody says:

      It’s brilliant! See, if they get stuck, they just put up the sail and have the heli hover low behind it.

    • Premium User Badge

      stahlwerk says:

      @MWoody that is brilliant!

  11. NonameBrand says:

    This game is horrible. Its more of a simulator but a bad one at that. The graphics are AWFUL. just read the pleasant steam forum comments.

    The water FX are better in crysis and Just cause 2. If you want a good ship/boat game just get Just Cause 2 and explore around there.

  12. Pemptus says:

    Comparing this game to Crysis and Just Cause 2 is just the kind of thing I’d expect from Steam community.

  13. RedFred says:

    @NonameBrand: Come on now. I think it looks kinda fun. Also I seem to remember the boat physics in JC2 being pretty average not to mention the limited amount of boats.

    Also I can seem the fun curve for this falling away pretty sharply after about half an hour.

    • MWoody says:

      The best thing to do in JC2: first, capture a civilian speedboat. One of the really fast, really pointy long ones. Then find an area that spawns many larger ships (though it might work with just about anything; it’s been a while since I tried it). Get going full speed and crash into the broad side of another ship.

      If done correctly, you’ll shoot down underwater, sometimes to the ocean floor. Enjoy your brief stay as a submarine, because the game DOES model buoyancy fairly well… Which means a few seconds after you touch bottom, you’re about to become airborne.

      For extra points, try to land the boat on the upper deck of an oil rig.

  14. NoNameBrand says:

    OK Maybe I was a little harsh on it, but seriously Just Cause 2 has much nicer looking cuda water.

    This game is ok for the strict simulator type people.

  15. Marcin says:

    This game is a little weird. It’s supposedly a simulator, but on the other hand you get handheld as far as setting your course is concerned, and there’s only a handful of controls – typically 2 engine throttles and a rudder. There’s no setting up of navigation like you would in a genuine flight sim, in fact no access to anything but a rudimentary GPS and radar. I guess I understand the controls – you can really fly a plane with little else than a throttle and a flightstick but still, I feel under-HUDded.

    I haven’t looked at the ocean-type open areas, but the harbor open areas are pretty limited so a boat with any type of speed is going to run out of exploring in little time.

    On the other hand, guiding a cruise ship through the Rotterdam harbor is just like war (or well, the stereotype of war :P) – moments of utter terror combined with long stretches of boredom. On my first try I nearly capsized the thing in under 5 minutes; on my second try I’m well under weigh to Southampton with only a few close calls.

    Anyway. It’ll do, since the Silent Hunter people aren’t capable of not-crashing my ATI card. I tried SH 3, 4 and even 5 – every single one crashes my PC. Things like Far Cry 2, Crysis, and even freaking Elemental (inorite?) don’t, sigh.

  16. terry says:

    This game should be a lifeguard/salvage RPG, I would play the crap out of it.

    • Sarlix says:

      I did see a man over board in the first video. Presuming you get to fish him out rather than just leave to drown. Also the putting out of fire on the cruise liner. That sort of ticks the lifeguard/salvage boxes?

  17. Gabe says:

    ^^^ More Spam ^^^

  18. Sarlix says:

    At least it’s semi-relevant. I could see myself wearing a pair of high quality christian louboutin shoes while piloting my cruise liner. The last time this guy showed up was in the mount and blade warband post. Big burly men wearing tunics and broad swords do not want christian louboutin shoes!

  19. psyk says:

    Gabe you’re also advertising something, glass houses and all that.

  20. TheSquarePear says:

    But I don’t want SPAM