Die Bard: Haiku Hero

By Kieron Gillen on September 15th, 2010 at 1:57 pm.

I'm next for the Laureate, me

I’m sure that everyone will agree, what we were hoping the man behind the blistering Boss Rush would do next would be a game about making haikus. Our hopes are answered. Haiku Hero basically challenges you to make haikus (Three-line poems in a 5, 7, 5 sylables structure – English Teacher Ed) against a time limit. To make it trickier, as you turn up the difficulty level, it sets limits – like having it rhyme, include set words or only have words with a certain number of syllables. Here’s Chris Cornell’s designers notes. “Since it has already lead to one of my playtesters filling my inbox with Cthulhu-themed haikus for a week, I consider it a win,” he informs me, “I’ve decided that this subgenre should be officially called “Haiku-hlus”. Inform the authorities!” Consider the authorities informed. Go get poetositing, gaming sorts!

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64 Comments »

  1. Lambchops says:

    Comment will be wise
    If position is alright
    I fear reply fail

    • kyynis says:

      First comment in thread?
      How could it be reply fail?
      I fear for you mind.

  2. Emphursis says:

    This game looks very odd
    Maybe it has Dinosaurs
    Then it would be good

    • Premium User Badge Fede says:

      Feels a little weird,
      writing haikus in english
      but yeah, it’s funny!

      Lol! Thanks for the link, Ian :)

  3. Emphursis says:

    That’s incredible
    You found the Dinosaurs
    Now the game is good

    • Pandaemonius says:

      It already had dinosaurs!

      The description on congregate:

      “Quick, how fast can you make a haiku? That includes the world “tyrannosaurus?” And none of the letter D? And rhymes?”

  4. Pandaemonius says:

    I like this concept. It would be even better if it could slowly but automatically increase the difficulty – add more rules as you go and such. It would also be cool if it extended to other forms of poetry – odes and sonnets, perhaps. I’d say limericks, but everyone knows how to do a limerick. I think it would be pretty good at teaching people how to write poems of all sorts, basically.

    Haiku away!

  5. Fred Wester, CEO of Paradox says:

    Haiku thread: stupid
    or fun? – Fred Wester, CE
    O of Paradox

    • BooleanBob says:

      Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
      RIght. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
      (That’s enough right – ed.)

  6. Lavatein says:

    I read over my haikus after the five minutes and, jesus, if these are the things that first pop into my head then I need a lifestyle change.

  7. Pandaemonius says:

    Boo! The dictionary doesn’t have ursine or undead. How am I to write my epic tale of battles against zombie polar bears?

    I lured it from their
    igloo, that ursine undead,
    with rotting fish heads.

    • Pandaemonius says:

      Nor monosyllabic! There goes my meta-haiku.

      What kind of poetry game has such a limited vocabulary? Rubbish!

      Anyone else found good words it doesn’t know?

    • TheDoctor says:

      It refused “sneakiest”, “motherfuckin” and “buttsecks”, so far.

    • Auspex says:

      It doesn’t like “wankers” or “wanky” either.

    • Pandaemonius says:

      Well, if it was just ‘dirty’ words it didn’t accept, I’d understand. By why not susurrus? It’s a good word! At least it accepts both English and American spellings of things, mostly

      Also, Doctor, you left the g of the end of motherfucking.

    • TheDoctor says:

      Don’t want no motherfuckin’ gs at the end of my motherfuckin’ motherfuckins, dude.

    • Premium User Badge JB says:

      @Pandaemonius – Susurrus is indeed a great word. As is coruscate.

    • sleepygamer says:

      I see we have some Terry Pratchett fans.

      My captcha was “MUST”

    • BAReFOOt says:

      Nah, that’s too tinny! Tinny tinny tinny!

      Sausage! There’s a good woddy sort of word!
      Caribou GOONE!
      Intercourse! Good and woddy!

  8. Lambchops says:

    Preemptive fear due
    To visions of future times
    With post in wrong place

    • kyynis says:

      Now I see your point,
      perhaps that fear was well placed.
      Precognition, hm?

  9. N'Al says:

    Chris Cornell, you say?
    Stop it with these haikus,
    need more Soundgarden.

  10. Premium User Badge AndrewC says:

    The Endless Bear who
    has no beginning nor end
    is known as Horace

    • stahlwerk says:

      Horace’s minion
      in a Forest of Monsters
      he roams: Angelbear!

  11. Rob says:

    I never was good
    At creating poetry
    This remains the case.

  12. pakoito says:

    I don’t get english sylabes so I suck at this game.

    • TheDoctor says:

      That’s my case, too, but the game marks the number of syllables.

      It’s pretty easy, really.

  13. Big Murray says:

    Oh my effing god
    How much time did I just waste?
    Damn your arse, Kieron!

  14. Rinox says:

    I had a sandwich
    and some oranges for lunch
    they were very sweet

  15. BobbleHat says:

    Surely Chris Cornell
    Rockstars enjoy haikus too
    Fuck Audioslave

  16. Dave says:

    this is not haiku
    it’s what English speakers think
    haiku is. Derp derp!

    • kreenB says:

      Moras are fine for
      Japanese, but in English
      syllables matter.

      How many people
      even know what moras are?
      What do you think, hm?

      Terms are definèd
      (Wapanese nonwithstanding)
      by speakers’ usage.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      Derp derp derp derp derp.
      Herp derp derp herp derp derp derp.
      Herp derp derp, herp derp.

  17. Devenger says:

    The price of war is
    the sanity of our
    poor forgotten sons

    Apart from the fact there’s no obligation to make any sense, this is a pretty clever game. Don’t forget to give it a stars rating on Kongregate, people.

  18. Barts says:

    The world need more Cthulhu-themed haikus! Please, share them here!

    • Chris D says:

      Frozen ancient realm
      Ageless horrors deep within
      Mountains of madness

      and

      It is not death for
      That which can eternal lie
      Please remain quiet

      and now for a song

    • Chris D says:

      Also

      Cthulhu has three
      Syllables which may seem clear
      But I had to check

    • Premium User Badge AndrewC says:

      Gibbous and eldritch.
      Lovecraft only knew two words:
      gibbous And eldritch

    • lhzr says:

      @chris: thanks for the song link, ’twas good :)

    • SheffieldSteel says:

      Cthulhu haikus?
      Only one thing to be said:
      Cthulhu ftagn!

    • Fumarole says:

      What worth my degree
      bestowed by alma mater
      Miskatonic U?

    • stahlwerk says:

      ‘Tis not Cartesian
      the Deep and Old One’s system
      of coordinates

  19. Daniel Klein says:

    What is that I hear?
    A thousand haiku purists
    In apoplexy

  20. Daniel Klein says:

    Actually, I wrote this half an eternity ago. It’s not a haiku, but it IS a cthulhu-themed Limerick. The Poetry -> Horror -> Limerick category was woefully empty at time being, so I thought I should probably fix that:

    http://bringa.deviantart.com/gallery/#/ddo6u8

  21. Hodge says:

    Kieron, Alec, John,
    Quinns and Jim bring us much joy.
    May they have the same.

  22. Ed Zuk says:

    More than one haiku
    is also written “haiku”
    just like “sheep” or “moose.”

    In other words, there
    is no such word as “haikus.”
    That said, a cool game!

  23. Wolfox says:

    I just don’t know how
    To make a good haiku
    So I’ll stop here now.

    • Aninhumer says:

      Apparently not
      That one was five-six-five
      Oh wait this is too…

  24. Unaco says:

    This Autumn I have
    Too many games to be played
    Possibly next year

  25. disperse says:

    My offering:

    monkey wearing hat
    that fedora looks real nice
    trade for banana

    you’re welcome.

  26. dethgar says:

    why would i squash you
    without taking all your loot
    that makes no sense, man

  27. Adam T says:

    Is this the game here?
    Why link Kongregate?
    We are playing now.

  28. DJ Phantoon says:

    Hydrocephalic.
    Hydrocephalic, I say!
    Hydrocephalic!

    • jaheira says:

      Water on the brain
      Phantoon’s condition is grave
      Hence his lame haiku

  29. stahlwerk says:

    brass told me not to
    i will never listen to
    electric old men

  30. Isle says:

    “Ascending”:

    60 70
    80 90 100
    115

  31. Bottes UGG says:

    Votre article m’a donné beaucoup de reflexions. Allez-vous faire des folies sur une paire de bottes ugg cette saison ? Ces bottes sont très belles.

  32. DMJ says:

    Haiku based gaming?
    It will never catch on, fool!
    Farmville rules PCs.

  33. Bret says:

    Will Colt forty five
    Work well on this occasion
    As it always has?

  34. Hmm-Hmm. says:

    Strange Japanese
    I rarely understand them
    It’s their haiku, see?