Typing Of The Dead Returns! Ish

By Alec Meer on October 6th, 2010 at 5:30 pm.

It did

I wanted to type ‘Typing Of The Dead Returns, But Only If You’re An Unemployed Japanese Person’, but unfortunately it didn’t fit. This is, I fear, one of those stories that isn’t terribly useful to readers of an English-language PC gaming blog, but I can never rebuff the strange and hilarious attempts the Typing Of The Dead series makes upon my consciousness. This time, it’s Typing Of The Dead: Jobhunting Edition.

The new edition, Japanese-only but very much on PC, includes 3000 words specifically related to job-hunting. I’d like to think that this is because endlessly typing the same words at uncaring, grey-faced zombies whose only interest in you is as something to feed off until you die is an incredibly apt metaphor for sending in job applications. I think it’s because it’s still a typing tutor underneath its words-as-bullets insanity, alas.

It’s a tie-in to a Japanese firm’s job-hunting… oh, something. Details here. I really don’t care why it exists – I just care that, somehow, Sega have made one of existence’s weirdest games even weirder.

Lest we forget:

, .

44 Comments »

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  1. Bas says:

    I loved this game, but typing apostrophes was impossible for me, so I couldn’t make it to the later levels. I once had this disc for learning blind typing, and I picked it up in 40 minutes. My face was set to “HOLY SHIT I CAN TYPE?!?!??!!”

    It was a method that had nonsense sentences, like “the parrot is getting it on”, and it just told you how to move your finger for each letter, for example “for P, move your right pinky up”. Learned it in 40 minutes this way, no experience typing before. Amazing. If you ever find a course that works like this, take it.

    • miffy says:

      I have succeeded to getting it working on windows vista, I went into device manager and removed all the keyboard drivers except for standard ps/2. The apostrophe works fine now.

      I can only use the laptop keyboard, when I plug in the usb keyboard it reloads the drivers and you get them all back.

      Hope that helps

  2. Theoban says:

    If they could do a Knightmare – Typing edition game, that’d be great cheers.

    Spellcasting P-U-T A-P-P-L-E I-N K-N-A-P-S-A-C-K

    • Premium User Badge

      Lambchops says:

      Yes please

    • TheApologist says:

      Any Knightmare game would be amazing.

      My nostalgia gland has just gone mental.

    • Dominic White says:

      There WAS a Knightmare game. I think it was a bit like Dungeon Master – you’ll have to google it.

      And now for a funny American bloke looking at Knightmare, and loving it.

      http://spoonyexperiment.com/2008/08/17/knightmare-review/

      Dear god, some of those kids were thick. But it was such a good show. I’d love to see what they could do with the concept with modern technology, but alas, it’ll never happen.

    • mwoody says:

      Ha! Thanks for that; had never heard of the show. Tremendously amusing idea. I wonder: did a team ever bring in a blind kid to wear the helmet? ‘Seems like that would be the natural idea, as it wouldn’t be a special hindrance.

    • Dominic White says:

      The player with the helmet needed to see, as they’d often run into ‘real’ items that they had to identify, use and pick up. Really, the main problems they had were basic decision-making, a complete inability to understand diagonals, and no plan as to who was team leader.

  3. Pemptus says:

    That…ending…head…explodes…

    • DXN says:

      I *think* the bungie-cord bit is an edit, having completed this a couple of years ago, but I might be mistaken…

      so of course that makes the ending completely sane.

  4. Gotem says:

    bug burns sphincter
    that video is not fro the job related version, is it?

  5. disperse says:

    Still have this installed on my hard drive. Now where did I put the CD?

  6. Navagon says:

    The Twilight Zone of gaming.

  7. Brumisator says:

    <3 TOtD!

    I wish I were unemployed and Japanese!
    Oh wait…I still have it on my Hard drive…and I AM unemployed! Whopee!

  8. subedii says:

    That is some seriously fast typing.

    • subedii says:

      Shame about the QA. I laughed at:

      “Which lays eggs?”

      “R-o-o-s-t-e-r”

    • BAReFOOt says:

      Not really. I typed this at the same speed.

    • Vague-rant says:

      The typing is a bit faster than mine, but I don’t really consider myself a fast typist…

      Also the Q/A is educational gold my friends. “Ways to prove you like her friends?”= “Hit on them shamelessly”

      I never knew…

  9. BAReFOOt says:

    Is using the NEO 2.0 layout, or a DataHand Pro II, considered cheating? People can type 600+ chars per minute on those things!

  10. Dominic White says:

    I still have TToTD on disc, and still play it on a semi-regular basis. Best goddamn typing tutor ever. I’ve never learnt to type ‘properly’ because I just improvised by slaying a hojillion zombies.

    Now typing is so hilariously hardwired into my muscle-memory that I can touch-type perfectly, grammar fully intact while IM’ing drunk. Not just ‘tipsy’, but ‘lift my arms up and I’ll fall over backwards’ drunk.

    Thank you, Zombies. You made me a nerd even while smashed.

  11. airtekh says:

    I played the demo of TOTD back in the day, but it absolutely refused to recognise my keyboard layout.
    This meant it was fun up to a point, until the dreaded hash symbol appeared.

    Cue frantic keyboard mashing and fevered use of the shift key in a doomed attempt to swat the incoming axes out of the air. I never did manage to complete it. :(

  12. bansama says:

    I’d like to think that this is because endlessly typing the same words at uncaring, grey-faced zombies whose only interest in you is as something to feed off until you die is an incredibly apt metaphor for sending in job applications.

    That maybe so. But if they want it reflect the process better, you’d have to write the letters by hand and start right from the beginning again when you make so much as one mistake.

    Am I glad my days of writing CVs here are long over. Why Japanese companies refuse anything over than the archaic hand written CV is beyond me.

    Still, this has to be one of the better attempts at Typing of the Dead I’ve seen for a while. I remember borrowing one that used to be sold at the 100 yen stores which was appalling. The game literally played itself and wouldn’t actually let you do any typing =/

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    Carra says:

    If it’s a Japanese games then why are the texts in English?

    • Nick says:

      Because that is a video of Typing of the Dead in case anyone wasn’t familiar wih the original concept or.. well.. forgot what it was like. Hence Lest we forget: Before hand.

    • bansama says:

      Because English ability is seen as a necessity when job hunting now. Especially as many companies, such as Rakuten and moving to using English only within their companies.

  14. Kits says:

    That was the most shot through, utterly absurd thing I’ve seen in a long time. The game being awful aside…some of the phrases, the “acting” and script, the player character killing zombies with a keyboard strapped to his chest, the ending…all absolutely mindboggling.

    • Pope Guilty says:

      What you have to understand is that Typing of the Dead is actually House of the Dead 2, a 90’s era arcade lightgun game, with a different interface. It looks ugly because 3d graphics looked ugly fifteen years ago. The voice acting and script are awful because nobody who speaks English as a first language was involved in the making of it.

    • Kits says:

      I understand all that perfectly. It’s not the first time I’ve seen the game, I vaguely recall playing the lightgun version many years ago too. That doesn’t negate any of what I said though. Utterly mad.

    • Aerozol says:

      Typing of the Dead is NOT awful! I loved that game. Typing of the Dead > Mavis Beacon…

    • Dominic White says:

      Gotta agree that the game is not awful. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. Game rocks on a variety of levels. The boss where you had to rattle out geeky limericks to stop him from chainsawing your face off was particularly great.

      As for the terrible voice-acting, that’s a combined result of
      A: Nobody in Japan really caring about the quality of their English voice-acting at the time
      B: Nobody in the arcade industry caring about the quality of ANY voice-acting, as you can barely hear the bloody thing in a crowded arcade.

      Times have changed, but such conditions gave us some hilariously terribad voicework which should be cherished forever.

    • Wilson says:

      @Kits – Yeah, the game is actually great fun. Plus it even has a two player mode :)

  15. Saucy says:

    ITS LIKE THEY’RE INVITING ME IN

    House of the dead has the best voice acting.

    LOYFE COYCLE

  16. InVinoVeritas says:

    SUFFER LIKE G DID?!?

  17. Nersh says:

    That is the strangest thing I’ve seen all day, and today has been a good day for strange things.

  18. Premium User Badge

    Flimgoblin says:

    Edible shoes!

  19. alice says:

    G’S BLOODSTAINS?

    NO! G!

  20. alice says:

    Why do my replies never seem to attach correctly?

  21. DevilSShadoW says:

    coming to an arcade near you? I’d probably spend all my money on coins

  22. fuggles says:

    There are 3 endings, so the bungee is real. Depends on how many questions you’ve got right. They don’t show the credits though – typing in all those Japanese names was hard!

  23. Alegis says:

    I love to play this game on LANs.

  24. Danda says:

    I loved TotD and I’d buy it again on GOG or Steam gladly.

    Best educational game ever.

  25. R. says:

    ToTD was a glorious testament to those sacred days where Sega just didn’t give a second thought to things like logic, profitability or what-have-you and instead just churned out one brilliantly demented and stupidly fun title after another.

    I really miss that Sega. No matter how much it fucked up, it was never dull and frequently inspired.

  26. Nehacoo says:

    The insanity of the ending you get is proportional to the insanity of your answers to the questions at the end of the boss fight.