By John Walker on October 13th, 2010 at 11:10 am.
Haiku Hero, first
Appears to be a nice game
Racing for poems
Against the clock you
Create a haiku within
The rules as given
It might tell you to
Use just two syllable words
And include, say, “bath”
It then assesses
If you met the rules in time
Then sets another
But I realised
Putting in any old crap
Would be accepted
“bothering elsewhere
panted yellow fortitude
buses escaping”
To which it replied
“That was a good haiku”, which
I’m not sure is true
I think this will count
As one of Kieron’s spoilers
Mechanically
Thanks go to TigSource
For spotting this one last week
You can play it here
(Yes I am aware
That Kieron posted this one
Before. I hate him)
13/10/2010 at 11:14 randomnine says:
Kieron posted about it here a month ago.
13/10/2010 at 11:15 Fede says:
Yes, but please don’t remove this article, it’s awesome :)
13/10/2010 at 11:45 Malawi Frontier Guard says:
You will soon find that Kieron wrote all future articles already. They are back in the archives. It’s all a big cycle.
13/10/2010 at 11:14 The_B says:
I wonder if we
Can keep the comments for this
Also in haiku form?
13/10/2010 at 11:19 The_B says:
I’m not sure how many
Syllables in word hiaku
I may have failed.
13/10/2010 at 11:56 Spacewalk says:
Haikus only work
Properly in Japanese.
Moon speaks full at night.
13/10/2010 at 12:15 Lars Westergren says:
In haiku the word,
two syllables are spoken,
is signifier.
13/10/2010 at 12:21 Rinox says:
@ Spacewalk
No they don’t. They’re clearly very different in English (and other Indo-European languages) than in Japanese, but they’re still poems and as such they work. Saying that they don’t work in English is about the same as saying that American movie format or the iambic pentameter don’t work in Japan (or anywhere else for that matter). They’re just formats that are given their meaning by the culture that uses them
13/10/2010 at 12:47 UW says:
Haikus are awesome
But sometimes they don’t make sense.
Refridgerator.
13/10/2010 at 13:11 Lars Westergren says:
@UW
Wacky haikus fun.
Purple monkey dishwasher
(Simpson’s reference)
13/10/2010 at 13:22 minipixel says:
Refrigerator
Freezer
Surprise! Butterfly
13/10/2010 at 13:41 TeeJay says:
@ Rinox “They’re clearly very different in English (and other Indo-European languages) than in Japanese, but they’re still poems and as such they work.”
Different to the point of not really being haikus at all in any meaningful way. The genuine haiku format has far more to it than just a 5-7-5 syllable format. The ‘western’ version is often dumbed down to the point of being meaningless babble and leaves out any requirements concerning tone, pacing, content or themes. Sure there are in fact some very good english-language haikus that remain faithful to the original Japanese format and rules. However it is stretching the word “poem” to destruction to claim that it automatically applies to any random collection of 5-7-5 words, other than in the very broadest sense of authorship/intention. Sure it’s true that anything can be a ‘work of art’ if someone designates it as such, and similarly anything can be a “poem” – but “haiku” is a genre within this. I’d argue that the “western haiku” is a nonsensical / idiotic / meaningless subset that barely fits within this genre at all..
13/10/2010 at 13:53 Rinox says:
@ Teejay
Fair enough. I guess it’s semantics and personal feeling on form/format conventions, to some extent. :-) I’ll leave with one of my favorite and somewhat non-conventional poems, by William Carlos Williams:
This is just to say
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
13/10/2010 at 14:17 mpxd says:
Hippopotamus
Antihippopotamus
Annihilation
13/10/2010 at 20:52 Lars Westergren says:
@mpxd
I don’t know why but
I laughed until my sides hurts
you win the thread, man.
18/10/2010 at 08:05 BAReFOOt says:
I know why. Not only is it pretty deep for being so simple. It’s also a pretty great joke in this context. Sure better than all other (wannabe) “haiku”s on this page.
13/10/2010 at 11:15 sigma83 says:
Walker is a terrible poster. Ninja’ed by a technically nonexistant man.
13/10/2010 at 11:28 KingCathcart says:
You are not quite right
Walker is a crap healer
But don’t knock his posts
13/10/2010 at 11:48 Spacewalk says:
I thought we never
left a man behind. John got
left on the internet.
13/10/2010 at 11:16 Brumisator says:
With my first Haiku
I exploited this weakness
Never played again
13/10/2010 at 11:20 Matt says:
I played this flash game
Typed in some profanity
Was told it was good
13/10/2010 at 11:20 Ian says:
Who is this Kieron
Gillen of who you all speak?
Never heard of him.
13/10/2010 at 11:21 The_B says:
And again. I am
Clearly quite rubbish at this
Though quite persistant.
13/10/2010 at 11:21 John Walker says:
Kieron never tried
To get a haiku into
Our crappy title bar into which you can never get any bloody phrase to fit.
13/10/2010 at 11:30 Deoden says:
Seeing you do this
Has made my comment shameful
Apologies, John
13/10/2010 at 11:35 Brumisator says:
surely, you do know
“is rapidly broken” has
six syllables
13/10/2010 at 11:39 VelvetFistIronGlove says:
The line is broken
not after the longest word,
but after the “Is”.
13/10/2010 at 11:58 Brumisator says:
Oh, well I never…
Verisimilitude is
But six long, my bad.
13/10/2010 at 11:23 Deoden says:
John must feel shame now
Even when not existing
Kieron still mocks him
13/10/2010 at 11:25 The_B says:
Don’t worry Walker,
Lovely even if you are
Terrible healer
13/10/2010 at 11:29 Eagle0600 says:
Am I the only one who saw this coming from the first time they heard of it? It was obvious this was going to happen.
13/10/2010 at 11:30 Mike says:
Was hoping for a
Haiku image alt text
C-Combo breaker
13/10/2010 at 11:30 RaveTurned says:
Mister Fred Wester
Paradox Interactive
CEO states: “Right…”
13/10/2010 at 11:37 Jarmo says:
Evaluating
poetry, the AI reasoned
cannot be that hard
13/10/2010 at 11:53 Alex Bakke says:
Does anyone else do
The thing where you count with your
Fingers, to work out order?
13/10/2010 at 12:11 Brumisator says:
the more you play
the more your fingers will flow
and you’ll forget math
13/10/2010 at 13:54 Gap Gen says:
one two three four five
one two three four five six sev’n
one two three four five
13/10/2010 at 11:54 Bob Bobson says:
I recommend that
Difficulty level three
Is used when you play
Restriction is what
Makes you feel heroic if
Your Haiku makes sense
(I’m not a robot
so why do I find that the
CAPTCHA is tricky?)
13/10/2010 at 12:13 Giant, fussy whingebag says:
I said it before:
This game is truly broken.
Words are excluded.
(Examples: ursine, susurrus and more)
13/10/2010 at 12:34 Montoli says:
I just have to say:
Seeing threads of all haikus
makes me so happy.
(Also I’m sorry
for dictionary problems -
good, free ones are scarce!)
13/10/2010 at 12:48 El Stevo says:
Splitting a longer
Sentence into separate
Lines is cheating. Blegh.
13/10/2010 at 12:48 chokoladenudlen says:
Nature of haiku
is important thing to say
but how to finish?
13/10/2010 at 12:54 Old Sam says:
You’re wrong about Curse
It’s better than TLJ
Not as pretentious
13/10/2010 at 13:13 phlebas says:
What is the secret
of Monkey Island, Guybrush?
IT’S MADE OF PEOPLE
13/10/2010 at 12:59 SLeigher says:
The captcha system
is broken beyond repair
fifteen fucking tries
13/10/2010 at 13:02 chokoladenudlen says:
Argh! Dirty haiku!
Putting pictures in my mind!
It said use ‘swallow’
And so I use it
Mentioning birds, I do not
But nasty I was:
The plight of pornstars
Is always stop with swallow
That is happy end.
Wash my dirty mind
Next must be on my to-do
And no more haiku.
;(
13/10/2010 at 13:16 Lars Westergren says:
Self-referential
haiku: Paradox alert!
This line is a lie.
13/10/2010 at 13:30 Juggz says:
Haiku is good fun
It got me through English class
I owe it my life
CAPTCHA is shithouse
It is so damned hard to read
It makes me sad face
13/10/2010 at 13:41 espy says:
It may very well be
that this, of all posts, ever,
delighted me most.
13/10/2010 at 13:48 stahlwerk says:
Five syllables in
the first line or was it six?
I don’t remember.
13/10/2010 at 13:49 Crabtacular says:
Quit your whining, fools!
My Captcha is legible.
You all need new brains.
13/10/2010 at 19:28 Hmm-Hmm. says:
Do hush, now, I say.
Appreciation thirsts for
An even temper.
13/10/2010 at 13:51 stahlwerk says:
Jim Rossignol, John
Walker, Quintin Smith, Alec
Meer, Kieron Gillen
13/10/2010 at 14:07 phlebas says:
Jim Rossignol, John
Walker, Quintin Smith, Alec
Meer, that’s everyone.
13/10/2010 at 13:52 Rosti says:
I’m writing haiku
I could not say ‘in’ there as
I ran out of syl-
13/10/2010 at 13:57 Chris D says:
Haiku Hero is
Good for checking syllables
When posting comments
13/10/2010 at 14:29 stahlwerk says:
PC gaming died
when Bobby Kotick said so.
Necromantic blues.
13/10/2010 at 14:47 adonf says:
Posting in Haiku
Should be mandatory for
RPS comments
13/10/2010 at 14:52 James says:
The suggestion made
too harsh, unenforceable
a guideline instead
13/10/2010 at 14:57 adonf says:
Harsher than CAPTCHA ?
I think not. Machines
Will never succeed
13/10/2010 at 14:49 chokoladenudlen says:
Medal of Honour
Got most disastrous reviews
EA stocks plummet
13/10/2010 at 17:01 westyfield says:
Kingdom of Loathing
had a haiku chat channel
I never left it.
13/10/2010 at 17:49 orangedragon10 says:
Too much haiku here
I think it is time for a
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
13/10/2010 at 18:30 DMJ says:
Rock Paper Shotgun,
PC News and Wot I Thinks.
Now with less Gillen.
13/10/2010 at 19:04 Dovi says:
Thank you RPS
Now the whole Internet
Haikus in my head
13/10/2010 at 19:29 bwion says:
Look at you CAPTCHA
A pathetic creation
Out of meat and bone
How can you challenge
A perfect immortal mach-
Shit I typed it wrong
13/10/2010 at 21:02 Lars Westergren says:
@bwion
An impressive feat
Many levels of meta-
Gaming geekery-
Site relevancy-
Haiku mastery achieved.
I bow before you
13/10/2010 at 19:32 Hmm-Hmm. says:
Wonders, wonders all
Fine thoughts and company, too
See it for yourself
13/10/2010 at 20:08 Shadram says:
Hmm, I don’t get it.
What is this haiku nonsense?
Shouldn’t they all rhyme?
13/10/2010 at 20:27 Montoli says:
I just have to say:
Comment threads of all haikus
make me so happy…
(also yes, sorry,
about any unknown words
good free word lists: Scarce)
13/10/2010 at 21:53 VelvetFistIronGlove says:
Haiku is boring—
iambic pentametric
sonnets are better.
13/10/2010 at 23:55 stephan says:
dozens of dumb dogs
dude, a bonnet, want it? dude?
dog bonnets? no way..
14/10/2010 at 00:38 John Walker says:
This is the best thread
RPS has ever had
You are all the win
16/10/2010 at 20:52 DrazharLn says:
End this misery forthwith
Oh shit. I can’t count
Bugger it all. Shit.
19/10/2010 at 05:10 Hastur says:
These are senryu
Haikus are about nature
Yeah it’s pedantic