By John Walker on October 26th, 2010 at 10:23 am.
This is a test. Do not be alarmed. Try to stay calm.
Rock, Paper, Shotgun
This Is A Test Of The Emergency Systems
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Read our finest words
Respond to our gibber
- Dowson : “"Good luck." I think you mean good riddance, this is a company who has continuously abused its market position, preventing games being released on Steam ...” on GAME To Close 35 More Stores, Shut Gameplay.co.uk
- Limes : “Ah Gameplay.. used to buy all my games there as a kid, it was the only online store I knew, so much joy.” on GAME To Close 35 More Stores, Shut Gameplay.co.uk
- applecup : “I miss when Gameplay was good. You know, before GAME bought it. Also the fact that GAME will insist on having several stores within spitting ...” on GAME To Close 35 More Stores, Shut Gameplay.co.uk
- Screamer : “Fair enough, but can you honestly say that DLC is never content that was stripped out of a game. I mean it obviously was planned ...” on Thought: Mass Effect’s Day One DLC Explained, Pondered
- Anaphiel : “Ozzie Mandus?” on Dear Esther Devs Making Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs
oh I am alarmed. Whoops, silly me.
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It’s OK. You are a alarm clock. You’re supposed to do that.
Now… sleep! *Waves hand in front of your face like in Dark City, but hitting your snooze button*
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In before the apocalypse
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*walks trough door*
’ello! It’s me, Ranjid Apo Calypsaputani. Or short: Apo Calypse!
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GET IN DA BUNKERS NOWWWW
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We’re all going to die.
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AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
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What a shame.
Am I doing this right?
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A bomb!
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You will pay for what you did to Agent Navarre.
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OH GOD
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THIS IS MADNESS!!
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THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA!!!!
*kicks tall dude down a taller hole*
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Good to know that even an apocalyptic event won’t stop RPS.
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I haven’t been working here long, but I think there’s a higher chance our Emergency Systems will /cause/ an apocalyptic event.
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http://bit.ly/bkZMWW
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I take it that Episode 3 release date was just announced?
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You win this comment thread.
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I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
…
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
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I approve and supply this comment with full thumbs up
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Wot Sanguine Said.
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I prefer that scene in the lift from Revolver.
FEEEAAARRR MEEEEEE!!!!
FEEEAAARRR MEEEEEE!!!!
;)
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I am now panicking and freaking out!
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GET TO THA CHOPPA!
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I ain’t got time to bleed.
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Do it! Come on do it! What are you waiting for? DO IT NOOAWWW
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GET TO THE CHOPPA!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpEgQ3b_Ug0
(May or may not contain Metal)
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Thank god I can link to this at last
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qd4aE2TzOI
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battle_atlas wins today’s internet. Everyone else can go home.
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Ya’ll a goddamn bunch of god damned sexual Tyrannosauruses.
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Here is Arnold processing the horrors from this: http://eeuauaughhhuauaahh.ytmnd.com/
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Is the testing of the new fully automated Gaming Journalism Robot?
If so, I for one welcome our new Robot overlord(s).
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Please relocate yourself in a calm and disciplined manner to the next escape pod. Everything will be fine.
Sincerly,
SHODAN
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“This is a test. Do not be alarmed. Try to stay calm.”
A phrase like that must only be said in GlaDOS’ voice.
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/ping
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What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can’t move with no hope of rescue:
Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far.
Alternatively, if life hasn’t been good to you so far (which, given your current circumstances, seems more likely):
Consider how lucky you are that it won’t be troubling you much longer.
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Or you could try doing what this guy did: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aron_Ralston
Then again, perhaps not….
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Won’t somebody think of the PIE!!!!
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Exactly how non-concerned should we be?!
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D:
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What a shame.
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I’m not alarmed…
*goes to stock up on bottled water and tinned food*
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Yay! The twinkies, Tang and SpaceFood sticks from my Y2K bunker are still ‘fresh’. Never edible, but ‘fresh’ none the less.
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IM FREAKIN OUT MAN
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I see you’ve hired some lovely new backup server admins
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What’s happening? What’s going on ?!
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So the government is finally implementing the games journalism tax eh? With a 1p levy on Tesco’s Value range RPS is sadly no longer financially viable.
It was a good run.
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Is it the second coming of Gillen?
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Please, I’m not as young as I used to be. Give me 10 minutes.
KG
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Arf!
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So it was the first coming of Gillen, then? And was it cause, or effect? (Either way, I’m alarmed.)
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Weyhey!
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Someone lurching back again and again with nothing but past glories to ram down everyone’s throat, isn’t Kieron anymore.
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Too much information.
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This test alarmed me
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when I’m alone,
with my fancy…
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Everything’s under control Mr Mainwaring… Don’t Panic! Don’t Panic!
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Game over man, game over !!!!!
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STAY INSIDE
I was about to go out too, I guess the toilet will just have to wait! Luckily I have an all purpose refuse recepticle just for such emergencies, I’m sure m’colleagues won’t mind.
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“This Is A Test Of
The Emergency Systems”
– Rock, Paper, Shotgun
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I think you win today’s internet.
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The enrichment center personnel safety fulfilment emancipation procedure has been activated. Please remain where you are and do not listen to your weighted companion cube for advice.
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I spill my drink?
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DUCK AND COVER, CHILDREN! DUCK AND COVER!
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DON’T PANIC, DON’T PANIC!!!!!
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There Eating Her and then there going to eat me!
OH MY GOD!
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My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
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NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER!
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I feel no panic, only serenity.
I am ready.
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This is censorship. Everyone speculate on what unmentionable John originally posted before the rest of the hive mind executed this cover up.
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DNF 2 and Half-Life 3 will be announced today?
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Wot is Flattr?
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http://savygamer.co.uk/2010/08/12/i-am-using-something-called-flattr/
So, idea stolen from Lewie, then.
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Christ.
KG
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OK then, “copied”.
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So next week we have a post with Walker in his underpants, coaxing our flattrs.
YOU WICKED MEN!
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Kieron.
Are you currently with or without beard?
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They pirated it!
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Flattr was something a number of readers requested. We implemented it.
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I INVENTED FLATTR.
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Well this flattr is making my pages on RPS load longer. Everytime I now open a page, there is a short delay, and it says on the bottom of my browser “connecting to flattr.api” or something of that sort.
Since I subscribe to the site already anyway, this delay greatly annoys me.
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Haha, i found the secret message encoded in the picture!
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I woke up bemused and horny to these alarums.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
FOX NEWS WASN’T LYING!
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Is it the fact that Fox News wasn’t lying the cause for these alarums?
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Fox News not lying is one of the signs of the apocalypse.
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I predict a Desmond
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I was saying nooooooooo-urns.
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John Walker: always epic.
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Move along.
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Nothing to see here!
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http://lh3.ggpht.com/_oCeMiYptlC8/SxiG6jBU-WI/AAAAAAAAAt4/Hbw4uDFIQHM/s400/nothing%20to%20see%20here.jpg
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afterward there will be cake
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Evacuate the Zone!
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Rock, Paper, Shotgun is people! It’s PEEEOOOOPPLLLLEEE!!!!!
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In case of emergency, you will post a message saying: “This is an emergency, be alarmed”?
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It’s tea time.
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Quick! Someone find out who our new Overlords are; so I for one can welcome them!
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golly gee i never knew human flesh tasted so good!
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OMFG THEY LET WOMEN NEAR SCIENCE!
DUCK AND COVER!
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MY LEG
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Wanted to say this somewhere, this thread seemed the best:
can RPS go back to how it was before the eurogamer ‘merge’.
Your site is now publishing too many stories for me to keep up with. I like this site specifically because it used to cut out all the news that I wasnt interested in and kept things concise. I am considering looking for a new site to switch to for my gaming news because I dont have the time to sift through for the good stuff.
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I suspect the answer is “Not a chance in hell, man. Sorry!”
Though RPS has been basically been running on the ten stories a day, plus or minus a few, for well before the EG deal. What we’ve done more of post EG is longer features as well as news posts.
KG
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I, for one, welcome our new Eurogamer overlords!
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ok then, thankyou for the reply.
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Subscribers receive a newsletter that has a list of articles. Something like an executive summary, you know.
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REMAIN INDOORS
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Tablets!
Holy tablets!
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Random non relevant question before bed…board game night on Friday…..some guys who have never really played many boar games before will be there….
Would it be a good idea to pick up Chaos gods of the old world?
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I haven’t played it myself but Robert Florence’s review is here
He seems to like it a lot.
You can also download the rules here
If you’re specifically looking for a game to introduce new players to boardgames then it might not be the best, but there’s a list of others that are here
Hope that helps.
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Thanks Chris, that’s really helpful
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OH MAH GAWD THINK OF TEH CHILDRENZ
http://images.blippitt.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/fallout-shelter.jpg
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Wot?! A Test?!
I forgot to study.
Again.
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zomg! all our base are belong to who?
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C’est ne pas un comment.
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I predict the return of Horace the Endless Bear.
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