FIFA Manager 11: Foot-To-Ball-To-Demo

By John Walker on October 28th, 2010 at 3:00 pm.

This is both the scariest and the most confusing thing I've seen all day.

FIFA Manager 11 really should be a game about managing FIFA. [At this point please insert some jokes about how ineptly FIFA may well be run, and how one would manage it better, because I haven't the faintest clue. Maybe something about refusing cameras that can see if goals are scored? Is that FIFA? Or is that UEFA? Or is that a town in Mexico?] There’s a demo of this latest incarnation of the not-as-good-as-Football-Manager series, in which you can (not) find out. It gives you six months of play (game time, dummy) but allows you to carry over a save file into the full game should you be too bereft to start the whole insane process over again. In conclusion, baseball.

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17 Comments »

  1. deejayem says:

    Why are more RPS articles not tagged “disembodied heads”?

  2. Unaco says:

    Even if I was into this foot-to-ball game, or into digital representations of the playing or managing of a team involved in such foot-to-ball shenanigans… Those floaty, disembodied heads would put me off I think. Strangely though… looking at some other screenshots, from development, there doesn’t seem to be any others with the disembodied heads… maybe they were just a last minute addition.

  3. BAshment says:

    JOHN FASHANU !!

  4. Triangulon says:

    It’s UNBELIEVABLE JEFF!

  5. Pijama says:

    FM 2011 is already around the corner, so DO NOT WANT

  6. Cloudgazer says:

    Over the last month RPS has been degrading consistently. I once made joyous visits several times a day, now I can barely stand seeing this page once a day.

    What the hell happened here?

  7. Steve says:

    What’s this? “In conclusion, baseball”? You’re just asking for someone to remind you of how the Phillies lost to the Giants. Oh!

    And out of interest, do any of the other members of RPS actually follow any sports? All we’re ever told is that none of you understand foot-to-ball.

  8. Ian says:

    I got the demo fully expecting to dislike it much as I have the last two incarnations.

    Then I found myself wishing I could play another hour instead of going to bed so I would wake up in time for work. That’s when I realise it had ensnared me once again in it’s vile, icy tendrils.

    Feels like coming home.

  9. sidereal says:

    Jesus. Do I have to write all of your copy for you?
    Here:

    “FIFA Manager 11 really should be a game about managing FIFA. Maybe try to get yourself elected to consecutive lifetime terms by bribing and extorting your way through the world of international football. Maybe you should start out as a lowly national representative for a small African island nation. . no doubt appointed to the position by your younger brother after the bloody coup that elevated him to power. After strategically torturing your national team squad to get the most out of them and funneling any earnings into Swiss bank accounts, your business acumen might get you promoted to chief of your Confederation — a position from which you could assemble a voting bloc of other small, corrupted nations to ensure your internal deliberations remain so opaque that the troublesome press and do-gooder reformers never get a sniff of the lucrative deals that drive your wealth (and presumably score) ever higher.

    Enough skilled corruption would then lead to a chance at the golden ring: FIFA President — a throne from which your every asinine, befuddled whim becomes the law over the most important sport in the world. High score!”

    • Brumisator says:

      Do not crush the temperamental soliloquy pertaining to the matter per se under vacuous presumptions of eloquence.

      In essence:
      Using lots of fancy words do not make your posts fancy.

      Leave some breathing space, ‘mano!

    • sidereal says:

      Wut?

      If you think ‘lucrative’ is too fancy I’m not sure what I could do to help. Maybe the sentence length was too much work for you. Could drop some semicolons in there to throw you a bone, I suppose. Good luck in your ongoing struggle with English.

  10. Boris says:

    This reminds me of the foot-to-ball manager games of old. Lots of gravy to cover the taste of horse meat.

    Dunno if the 3D view is new for this iteration, but it sure seems like it when two little foot-to-ballers can spend a good five minutes on the pitch, 2 meters apart kicking the ball back n forth. Or regularly pass the damn ball back, out of the box instead of shooting.

    Which is strange, because the AI in regular FIFA handles itself pretty well imo. Why not use that engine and build all the stats n diagrams around it?

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