Privates: Satisfy longer!!Longer-lasting action!

By Alec Meer on October 29th, 2010 at 1:10 pm.

I could come up with my own penis extension gags to celebrate the announcement of free DLC for Zombie Cow’s splendid free shoot/giggle/educate game Privates, but they’ve done such a good job themselves that I really don’t need to bother. Like so:

Zombie Cow Studios and Channel 4 to offer PENIS ENLARGEMENT.
=~~ DO YOUR MANHOOD NEED MORE? практические методы разработк
Satisfy longer!!Longer-lasting action!text-decoration: underline;”>

After the huge, throbbing success of this summer’s PC-EXCLUSIVE side-on shooter Privates, Zombie Cow Studios and Channel 4 are delighted to announce there’s some totally-free DLC on the way.

“We’ve decided to go all-out and make a whole new adventure, this time set inside a gentleman’s bits,” said Dan Marshall from Zombie Cow Studios. “We’re also planning to cram in new gameplay mechanics, new enemy types, new locations, and a new player character. It’s not just more of the same, although it’s DLC so clearly some of it’s going to wind up pretty similar.”

“The Privates DLC will obviously be strictly PC-only, and should be available round Easter time 2011.”

“Do you know who he said those quotes to, though? He said them to himself for his own press release,” sneered Rock, Paper, Shotgun’s Alec Meer.

More Privates! Yay! Intra-penis adventures! Yay! Although isn’t it just going to be one long, very narrow tunnel and then a couple of cave-things? There must be more to it than that. God, I know so little about the inner workings of Alec Jr. It’s embarrassing. Thank crikey there’s to be a game that will help me understand how the old chap works.


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  1. JohnArr says:

    Great, another corridor shooter.

    (also, woo!)

  2. markcocjin says:

    “Inter-penis adventures!”

    So does that mean there’s some homosexual monkeybusiness to be expected here?

  3. Nathan says:

    I wonder how many Journo’s inboxes this announcement was caught up in

  4. Mike says:

    Just had to check the author of the post to enture that Quinns didn’t call his Captain Corrigan “Alec Jr.”. That would’ve just been weird.

  5. Taillefer says:

    “…isn’t it just going to be one long, very narrow tunnel and then a couple of cave-things?”

    Not that long.


  6. Robin says:

    I can’t believe they’re wasting more time on this.

  7. Lambchops says:

    He;s taljing about his cock!


  8. MD says:

    Seems like they’re doing well for themselves, which is good. But I want them to make more graphical adventures!

  9. Axez D. Nyde says:

    The world needs more educational stuff like that. But then again, some of us might not have been born to read this now.

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