By Alec Meer on October 29th, 2010 at 1:10 pm.
I could come up with my own penis extension gags to celebrate the announcement of free DLC for Zombie Cow’s splendid free shoot/giggle/educate game Privates, but they’ve done such a good job themselves that I really don’t need to bother. Like so:
Zombie Cow Studios and Channel 4 to offer PENIS ENLARGEMENT.
=~~ DO YOUR MANHOOD NEED MORE? практические методы разработк
Satisfy longer!!Longer-lasting action!text-decoration: underline;”>
After the huge, throbbing success of this summer’s PC-EXCLUSIVE side-on shooter Privates, Zombie Cow Studios and Channel 4 are delighted to announce there’s some totally-free DLC on the way.
“We’ve decided to go all-out and make a whole new adventure, this time set inside a gentleman’s bits,” said Dan Marshall from Zombie Cow Studios. “We’re also planning to cram in new gameplay mechanics, new enemy types, new locations, and a new player character. It’s not just more of the same, although it’s DLC so clearly some of it’s going to wind up pretty similar.”
“The Privates DLC will obviously be strictly PC-only, and should be available round Easter time 2011.”
“Do you know who he said those quotes to, though? He said them to himself for his own press release,” sneered Rock, Paper, Shotgun’s Alec Meer.
More Privates! Yay! Intra-penis adventures! Yay! Although isn’t it just going to be one long, very narrow tunnel and then a couple of cave-things? There must be more to it than that. God, I know so little about the inner workings of Alec Jr. It’s embarrassing. Thank crikey there’s to be a game that will help me understand how the old chap works.
29/10/2010 at 13:17 JohnArr says:
Great, another corridor shooter.
(also, woo!)
29/10/2010 at 15:46 Nallen says:
Oh fuck yeah, that’s the kinda pun I’m talking about! 10 points for that man.
29/10/2010 at 16:07 Fergus says:
Hired.
29/10/2010 at 20:07 Scandalon says:
Don’t worry, it won’t be that hard.
30/10/2010 at 10:16 Burc says:
If there will be difficulty-settings, I will put hard on!
Boom!
29/10/2010 at 13:40 markcocjin says:
“Inter-penis adventures!”
So does that mean there’s some homosexual monkeybusiness to be expected here?
29/10/2010 at 14:57 joe balls says:
You’re doing it wrong. And by ‘wrong’ I don’t mean mano a mano. I mean peno a peno. Just, you know, so we’re clear.
29/10/2010 at 17:15 Shamanic Miner says:
Before the internet I would have agreed with you but I’ve seen that vido of that woman with the dild……
29/10/2010 at 17:18 Shamanic Miner says:
ooops, typo. My eyesight isn’t what is was.
29/10/2010 at 20:19 AlexW says:
Intra-penis. Inter- would require two, intra- is just inside the one. Pet peeve of mine, actually, like calling civilisations of the scale in Mass Effect, Star Wars and the like ‘intergalactic’ when they’re only intragalactic (NJO an exception).
29/10/2010 at 21:22 DJ Phantoon says:
The keys are like right next to each other.
30/10/2010 at 03:52 TeeJay says:
Docking? Meatotomy?
http://www.ex-designz.net/encyclopedia.asp
30/10/2010 at 10:17 Burc says:
I’m not going to click that link. Never.
30/10/2010 at 19:10 Shamanic Miner says:
It appears that Meatotomy is the practice I was referring to. Even the comments for this game are educational.
29/10/2010 at 13:43 Nathan says:
I wonder how many Journo’s inboxes this announcement was caught up in
29/10/2010 at 13:57 Mike says:
Just had to check the author of the post to enture that Quinns didn’t call his Captain Corrigan “Alec Jr.”. That would’ve just been weird.
29/10/2010 at 14:41 TheApologist says:
And hot.
29/10/2010 at 14:59 joe balls says:
Did you mean ‘captain corridor’.
Thanks Google!
29/10/2010 at 15:03 Rosti says:
Alec Jr needs a tag, though :’(
29/10/2010 at 23:06 MD says:
I’m hereby christening my penis “Little Gillen”, in honour of our fallen comrade.
29/10/2010 at 15:20 Taillefer says:
“…isn’t it just going to be one long, very narrow tunnel and then a couple of cave-things?”
Not that long.
:(
29/10/2010 at 16:40 The Sombrero Kid says:
Not that Narrow.
:S
29/10/2010 at 18:13 Collic says:
That’s what she said (sorry).
29/10/2010 at 19:12 Robin says:
I can’t believe they’re wasting more time on this.
29/10/2010 at 19:53 sinister agent says:
There’s some kind of penis joke in there somewhere, but I’ll be damned if I can find it.
29/10/2010 at 20:45 cullnean says:
Thats what she said
29/10/2010 at 23:57 Marshall says:
Baaahahahahahaha.
30/10/2010 at 02:27 Lambchops says:
He;s taljing about his cock!
Teeheehee!
30/10/2010 at 02:47 MD says:
Seems like they’re doing well for themselves, which is good. But I want them to make more graphical adventures!
30/10/2010 at 13:25 Axez D. Nyde says:
The world needs more educational stuff like that. But then again, some of us might not have been born to read this now.