By Quintin Smith on December 16th, 2010 at 12:29 pm.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Does he mean Warriors of Elysia, the famed sequel to 2002 smash hit Bikini Karate Babes?” Yes! Yes that is in fact exactly the game I mean. For the low, low price of £14.95 you can now pre-order Warriors of Elysia on Direct2Drive right here, and when the game is released on April 19th 2011 you lucky punters will also receive the accompanying Escape From Exile full-length movie and the original Bikini Karate Girls. A trailer follows. It is not safe for work, unless you work in a lubricant factory or something. I used to work in a lubricant factory, actually. I didn’t stick around.
The interesting thing here is that Bikini Karate Babes was created as a spoof cash-in type thing, designed to ridicule and capitalise on the trend in fighting games of female characters wearing less and less. In the years after BKB was released it went on to develop such a sizeable cult following that Warriors of Elysia is an entirely po-faced product where the female characters just, you know, wear bikinis all the time. Curious. Anyway, that trailer.
16/12/2010 at 12:38 Thirith says:
Wow. This makes Xena look as stylish as Helen Mirren.
16/12/2010 at 12:40 Schaulustiger says:
The first 20 seconds looked like a reenactment of the beginning of 2001, but with half-naked women instead of apes.
16/12/2010 at 14:16 Starky says:
Same thing then :P
17/12/2010 at 11:54 buedi says:
Same thong then :P
16/12/2010 at 12:40 Kieron Gillen says:
This is quite the thing.
KG
16/12/2010 at 21:53 Ziv says:
don’t you ever forget to sign KG?
16/12/2010 at 12:40 Richard Beer says:
I’m amazed they managed to find so many bikini babes who are also such good martial artists and thespians! Oscars beckon.
Although what on Earth is that move at 4:02 (yes I watched that much of it. I have no excuse)? Reminds me of a Derek and Clive sketch.
16/12/2010 at 12:45 Thirith says:
How do you know they’re thespians? They may just be good friends and comfortable with each other.
16/12/2010 at 12:50 Richard Beer says:
I have many years experience of watching thespians on the Internet, so I can always tell.
16/12/2010 at 13:02 Brumisator says:
That move at 4:02 sure looks very ineffective against a female opponent.
16/12/2010 at 13:03 Ian says:
These days you can get entire sites dedicated to the study of thespians.
16/12/2010 at 13:28 Stijn says:
Brumisator: I dare you to bet so against anyone female, on the risk of getting the favor returned if it actually does hurt ;)
16/12/2010 at 13:55 BAReFOOt says:
@Brumisator That’s the thing: It hurts a woman just as much, if not more. Women are always surprised that being hit in their sensitive areas can hurt them just as much as us. Which means, actually you got an advantage. We know it will hurt, and react accordingly. They would just stand there, expecting to be able to laugh at our futile attempt… until they’d notice it fuckin’ hurts, and go to their knees.
Now I’m obviously not advocating hitting anyone, be it man or woman, except as self-defense. But if a woman attacks you:
The „don’t hit women” thing is deliberate manipulation, so they have an advantage. (Since they still have their weapons of social warfare.) I say: They wanted equal treatment, so they gonna get equal treatment. No special sausage for anyone.
16/12/2010 at 13:58 AndrewC says:
There are some things, barefoot, that you should probably consider simply not posting about.
16/12/2010 at 14:06 Novotny says:
She’s removing lobsters. It’s a terrible job.
16/12/2010 at 16:00 Nick says:
just when I thought you couldn’t get anymore sociopathic..
16/12/2010 at 16:28 Caleb367 says:
You know, the reason I love RPS, it’s that you find unexpected bit of knowledge in the comments section.
16/12/2010 at 17:13 adonf says:
Too bad there aren’t any women here to say if they agree or disagree with Brumisator’s comment, this being a video games blog
16/12/2010 at 18:48 Wulf says:
Barefoot’s post is easy to go angry Internet man over at first glance, but if you dig a little deeper than that first glance, he actually has a point. The point is this: Equality goes both ways, in regards to all topics, all genders, all ethnicities, all peoples. Equality, you know? I have a strong distaste for hurting (physically or emotionally) any form of life, regardless of gender or level of sapience, because I’m a wuss and that’s just my way. It actually really bothers me if I think I’ve hurt someone, and due to a certain illness I have where I tend to say inappropriate things because I don’t realise they’re inappropriate, this can happen without me even realising it, then it’ll just bother me when someone points it out.
The whole point of this post though is that equality–by its very nature–applies to everyone, and anything that goes for one person should go to another. Gender, creed, ethnicity, and/or anything else is irrelevant.
I think the negativity in regards to Barefoot’s post is because there’s a certain undertone to the opening of his post where he paints the image that he sees women as ‘the enemy’, in a sort of us vs them scenario. That actually may or may not be true, at all, but it’s very easy to think that looking at the post. The problem with the Internet is that you don’t have emotion or body language to go on, so misunderstandings and miscommunications can happen really easily.
The real question is whether the potential misogyny within that post was actually intentional or not. And if it was intentional and Barefoot does think of women as ‘the enemy’, then he shouldn’t be talking about equality in the first place.
16/12/2010 at 19:38 sebmojo says:
I’ve yet to see a Barefoot post that doesn’t revolt or infuriate me. So on one level I guess he’s doing really well.
16/12/2010 at 22:25 Sinomatic says:
I’m not sure what women BAReFOOt knows, but I reflexively winced at that moment at 4:02.
16/12/2010 at 12:41 ikkmnlkkuklu says:
Theres a story in that trailer, i know there is. I just cant find it… too distracted
16/12/2010 at 12:49 Lipwig says:
Working in a lubricant factory looks like a great job.
16/12/2010 at 12:52 Oak says:
Nice.
16/12/2010 at 12:53 Jimmerite says:
Preordered.
16/12/2010 at 12:55 deejayem says:
“didn’t stick around”
That was a crime! A crime against humanity. I will get Le Hague on you.
16/12/2010 at 13:02 frenz0rz says:
“I used to work in a lubricant factory, actually.”
Same here! One day I turned up 3 hours late for work, but the boss let me slide.
16/12/2010 at 13:04 Lipwig says:
You must be real slick.
16/12/2010 at 13:09 Quintin Smith says:
/politegolfclap
16/12/2010 at 13:10 jd says:
I’m willing to let it slide.
EDIT: oh, someone beat me to it.
16/12/2010 at 14:21 stahlwerk says:
This is a slippery slope of punning.
16/12/2010 at 15:06 Ben says:
I can’t quite grasp how, but I suspect you must have greased his palm in order to slip that one past him. He always was an oily sort.
16/12/2010 at 15:13 golden_worm says:
Working in a lube factory ain’t so hard. I guess some lubrican and some lubrican’t.
EDIT: @jd, don’t worry it’s OK. Why? Because everyone slips up sometimes.
16/12/2010 at 15:29 Muzman says:
Bunch of dipsticks
16/12/2010 at 16:38 GoodPatton says:
Did you get ribbed, for their pleasure?
16/12/2010 at 16:57 Inglourious Badger says:
These jokes are too lube for my tastes
17/12/2010 at 10:44 KillahMate says:
Not at all, they rub me just the right way.
17/12/2010 at 20:39 EthZee says:
/inb4dukakis
…Wait, sorry, wrong blog.
21/12/2010 at 13:25 thecat17 says:
One time, the bosses tried to get me to work overtime at the night’s end.
But I gave them the slip.
16/12/2010 at 13:06 poop says:
this game looks really tits
16/12/2010 at 13:07 Robert says:
Awesome.
16/12/2010 at 13:08 H4NNiB4L says:
NO.
Everybody knows that games with boobies on the cover just cant be any good. Never.
(Strangely enough, games with toilets and children in-game are usually good, for some unknown reason).
16/12/2010 at 18:54 Wulf says:
Because toilets and children tend to have nothing to do with sex appeal, except to those in certain particularly uncleanly/unethical groups, whereas boobs tend to be the lowest common denominator in regards to sex appeal?
What I’m getting at is: If you need to put large, visible cleavage on the cover, then there’s a good chance the game won’t be good, there are only really very few exceptions to this.
Children and toilets being present, however, is more to do with the immersion factor.
16/12/2010 at 23:16 Axess Denyd says:
@Wulf:
I really don’t want to be immersed in a toilet.
Or a child.
16/12/2010 at 13:13 Werthers says:
Mortal Kombat with tits minus the blood, it’s a very long trailer too or did I just lose myself in the story?
16/12/2010 at 13:25 DurkonKell says:
What… I…
Was that mostly live action? Which media studies student did they contract with to produce this?!
16/12/2010 at 13:30 manveruppd says:
This was the most violent shampoo commercial I’ve ever seen!
16/12/2010 at 13:35 Lorieh says:
AWESOMENESS ! ! !
16/12/2010 at 13:51 noobnob says:
Felt like the video was a nice gateway back to the early 2000′s.
16/12/2010 at 17:16 bob_d says:
Early 2000s? Heck, I felt like it was a time-warp back to the FMV games of the early 1990s (albeit with especially good pre-rendered backgrounds). I’m downright discombobulated. Are we sure this game didn’t slip through a wormhole from that era?
17/12/2010 at 19:56 Zoraster says:
Took me back to the 80s, specifically bringing to mind the use of Corinne Russell as the lead character in Vixen. Good to see game marketing had advanced so far down the years :)
16/12/2010 at 13:52 Oozo says:
It’s astonishing. They obviously put a lot of work into the simulation of physics, and yet the game seems to have no sense of friction or impact whatsoever.
16/12/2010 at 13:58 Okami says:
The sad thing is, that this is a lot more respectful towards women than anything developed by Team Ninja.
16/12/2010 at 14:01 Lukasz says:
i like outrageous stuff so i am going to buy it next year (after sales on gog and steam end) looks funny
16/12/2010 at 14:23 Had to do it. says:
This is gonna rule.
16/12/2010 at 14:31 stahlwerk says:
Those live action segments are just… I don’t know… C-Movie quality? Shaky consumer hand camera, cheap bikini selection (get 10 colors for $10! One size fits all!), horrible lighting (none?), filmed in some woods and maybe a quarry…
it’s like blair witch project, spring break edition.
I have an observation to make, from a technical standpoint: So the fights are “rotoscoped” movements of each actress alone, yet the takedowns are live-action of both actresses together, right? That means they had to at least film two takedowns for each pairing. Something tells me thats all they bothered with: each fighter gets only one takedown vs. each other.
16/12/2010 at 19:22 Jason Moyer says:
I’m pretty sure rotoscoped doesn’t mean what you think it does. Although if they were rotoscoped it would be about 80000000 times more interesting, imho.
16/12/2010 at 14:35 Urthman says:
It’s cool that people are still releasing games for the SEGA Megadrive, but why are you reporting about it on RPS?
16/12/2010 at 16:20 fallingmagpie says:
Mega CD, man! No way you can get that much FMV on a MegaDrive cartridge.
I’m very much looking forward to the release of Sony’s new ‘PlayStation’ though. That’s going to rule.
17/12/2010 at 10:51 KillahMate says:
Ha! A console from the Walkman guys? Sony doesn’t stand a chance against Nintendo! The Super FX chip will crush anything Sony can come up with!
16/12/2010 at 14:41 Stense says:
Definitive proof that hordes of girls in bright pink bikinis are evil. I always knew it.
16/12/2010 at 14:59 matte_k says:
Looks like Uwe Boll won’t have to make a movie of the game then, it’s pretty much that bad already…
16/12/2010 at 16:02 Dave says:
Amazing. They’ve managed to make about three dozen girls in bikinis look awkward and unsexy. They also ripped off the Tristram theme from Diablo 2 briefly, and made a trailer that was 4 minutes and 12 seconds too long.
16/12/2010 at 16:29 Caleb367 says:
So THIS is what happens to failed porn actresses.
A: “I fail at life. I mean, what do I do for a living? This morning I serviced a donkey in a Pink Panther fursuit.”
B: “I was in the Warriors of Elysia game.”
A: “…wow. And here I was thinking I had hit rock bottom.”
17/12/2010 at 02:50 Lukasz says:
I am sorry but what?
On what basis you claim they are a)failed porn actresses b)porn actresses at all?
and really what’s so wrong about the game/movie? I see it no different to DoA (actually DoA is much worse cause those women are made by fatty nerdy guys judging by “design”)
16/12/2010 at 16:07 Pani says:
Was the one in the black bikini the bad one?
16/12/2010 at 16:27 Ergonomic Cat says:
I, for one, can’t wait until October 5th, 2010, as the trailer promised.
I think the jumping animations are the best thing about it.
I think we also need to start a new Facebook page: “I am ashamed to admit I watched all the way through to the end of the Warriors of Elysia trailer.”
16/12/2010 at 17:05 Dances to Podcasts says:
That was my birthday. Where’s my bikini girls!?!?
17/12/2010 at 03:33 JiminyJickers says:
I’ll join the “I am proud to admit I watched all the way through to the end of the Warriors of Elysia trailer” group thank you very much.
16/12/2010 at 16:53 Wooly says:
Looks like the breast game of the year to me!
16/12/2010 at 22:04 Navagon says:
Tits the breast game in living mammary.
16/12/2010 at 16:55 Pop says:
I shall remember this next time I go to the beach: pink bikini == minion; black bikini == evil. What was the colour for “good with kids”?
16/12/2010 at 17:07 thesundaybest says:
The key to this video is the statue at 2:10…of a woman in a bikini, and the fact it was uploaded by “artifuckt”.
16/12/2010 at 17:30 Ragnar says:
Sorely lacking PHYSX support! Most noticeable on certain pair of objects….
16/12/2010 at 17:32 Scatterbrainpaul says:
Has there ever been am aerobics Oz style computer game?
Just a thought
16/12/2010 at 17:43 kutkh says:
This is the least arousing breast-centric internet video I have ever seen. It’s off the fucking charts. The wrong way!
16/12/2010 at 19:23 stahlwerk says:
Oh to have that innocence back again…
16/12/2010 at 17:51 Basilicus says:
I’ve been wanting FMV to return for a while, but I’ll wait for the GOTY edition.
16/12/2010 at 20:25 Yorick says:
Sadly, somewhere, someone’s going to give it that sort of award.
16/12/2010 at 21:32 DarkNoghri says:
Best part, I think, is the D2D customer review, a 10/10 no less:
“As of late it would seem that the fighting game genre has made a ramming speed comeback, with excellent releases such as Street Fighter IV, super street fighter HD remix, Tekken, soulcaliber, and very soon; Marvel vs Capcom 3 and Mortal Kombat. Warriors of Elysia is no exception. In fact this may possibly be THE resurrection of the fighting game genre. To start, this game is an incredible value. It was just released and it’s already only 20$, now that’s what I call customer service. Creative Edge Studios is really setting an example of how a game developer company should operate in an ideal world for gamers; not solely for profit, but for value for all of its customers. These guys are up there with Valve in their generosity with their gamers first attitude. This game is easily a $60 dollar purchase with its beautiful state of the art life-like visuals which arguable dwarfs crysis. The character models look like REAL people, and the animation is spot on too. The way the characters move on screen is not only very fluid, it is also perfectly anatomically correct (being an anatomy major I have an eye for nitpicking imperfections in character animations) The level of detail in movement is beyond that of mo-cap technology. So really in a nutshell what I’m trying to say is that the graphics are stunning, really the only gripe I have about this game in any visual aspect is that for a fighting game there is absolutely NO and I mean NO attractive character to fight as. I mean every fighting game has the sexy femme fatale, for instance Street Fighter has Cammy, King of Fighters with Mai, and dead or alive with 80% of its character roster but you will see that aspect of fighting games is absent here, which I suppose just adds to the realism as it accurately depicts the violent world of professional bikini fighters. Honestly if you train all day to increase muscle mass and durability, superficial details would have no place in a career where you’re getting a black eye everyday. On to the meat of the review though, what EVERY fighter really relies on to be a successful game… THE GAMEPLAY. You will see no faults here. I have not seen a deeper combat system in a fighting game since Street Fighter III. Of course this game is also newbie friendly with its basic controls, but mastering all of the deep gameplay mechanics such as super-cancels, and perfectly honing your timing skills to combat your opponents at the exact frame is something for the masters and will no doubt take years to fully master. Being an avid player of fighting games I am not one of the afore mentioned masters of the genre, but I do play enough to see the difference between a very skilled player and a newbie mashing buttons. And not very many games have that distinction, Warriors of Elysia however is just plain wonderful and I very much look forward to the sequel. “
16/12/2010 at 21:39 bleeters says:
I’ll be in my bunk.
16/12/2010 at 22:29 Freud says:
The studio is called Creative Edge? Where is Tim Langdell when we need him?
16/12/2010 at 22:49 Grey_Ghost says:
Bikinis, pshaw! Been there done that. I think I’ll save my money for a fighting game where the women all wear pasties & g-strings.
17/12/2010 at 01:37 Trip Skyway says:
What an amazing trailer.
17/12/2010 at 03:45 Earl_of_Josh says:
I want to make fun of this, but then again I *did* watch the whole trailer. If I chortled do I get a pass?
17/12/2010 at 04:19 Rob says:
I expected better from you RPS. You should be calling games like this out for the sexist crap they are, not joking about them casually. Games like this are why we games have the reputation we do.
17/12/2010 at 05:17 nmute says:
yeah. the hivemind IQ and social awareness has dropped significantly since KG left, though i’m sure the Lad in he and the others will probably disagree with the sentiment
i’m actually pretty sad about that. RPS was one of the few places from which i hadn’t felt alienated with shit like this. i’ve already started to forget my daily perusals. it’s becoming forgettable. just when i finally got around to subbing as well.
17/12/2010 at 05:37 tariqone says:
Agreed. Utterly callow, smug, and puerile. Mr. Smith does it again.
17/12/2010 at 06:33 Freud says:
Because a combination of indignation/preaching/smashing in open doors is what makes a games blog good?
17/12/2010 at 07:04 tariqone says:
@Freud: I like your false dilemma there, guy. Wheredja get it?
17/12/2010 at 07:52 CC says:
What needs to be called out here, exactly? Does someone have insight that the trailer doesn’t provide?
Most importantly: you think we shouldn’t be joking about Bikini Karate Babes?
17/12/2010 at 08:24 Quintin Smith says:
You realise Kieron posted about every single sex game he could get his filthy hands on, yes?
17/12/2010 at 15:34 Navagon says:
Oh dear, the humourless are posting again! Quick! Someone placate them with dry crackers and Edam cheese!
17/12/2010 at 15:59 Sinomatic says:
I saw the screenshot and presumed it would be KG.
17/12/2010 at 17:35 nmute says:
oh.
i’m supposed to laugh at a bad game depicting brazenly objectified women fighting one another? but i got bored of that joke some time ago. especially when, uh, i guess it stopped being one. i guess it never stops being funny for at least one half of the population.
p.s. the half handful of stern comments here are as a fart in the breeze compared to the stink kicked up over Hey Baby.
p.p.s. i’m totally cool with “sex” games.
17/12/2010 at 20:38 CtheC says:
A budget wank-fodder bikini fighter sequel made to meet the demand generated by a previous budget wank-fodder bikini fighter is dark humor.
On the other hand, saying “I guess it never stopped being funny for one half of the population,” is extremely sexist.
And funny.
18/12/2010 at 03:32 nmute says:
you’re right, that is funny. though probably not in the way you intended.
17/12/2010 at 05:31 tariqone says:
Another fine Quintin Smith moment! Let’s all scratch ourselves and curse now. Because we’re snarky, smug, callow lads.
Except the women. They wear microkinis and serve us beer.
RPS, we hardly knew ye.
18/12/2010 at 04:06 jaheira says:
… or you could get a sense of humour.
18/12/2010 at 11:41 adonf says:
This. Is. Awesome!
Pre-ordering right now !
19/12/2010 at 08:58 drewski says:
That black one piece looks extremely impractical for fighting in, even by the standards of lycra swimwear.