By Nursey on December 18th, 2010 at 2:36 pm.
Oh, Hello. Sorry to barge into your young men’s website like this, but… you have girls here? Oh, how charming. Times do change. Oh, deary me. Anyway – I’m John Walker’s nurse, and the only way I could get him to lie down was to promise that I’d transcribe everything he said in his delirious state and put it on the Internet. Oh, I’m blogging? Oh my! What would Mavis say if she saw me now? Anyway! He tells me that the eighteenth game of Christmas is…
…Lara Croft & The Guardian Of Light.
Nursey: Mr Walker! Mr Walker! You must get back in bed immediately!
John: But nurse, there’s no one else. There’s no one else to update the calendar.
Nursey: Mr Walker, I said this to you when you tried to go and feed the orphans their christmas gruel. I said this to you when you went to deliver alms to the poor. I said this to you when you claimed your presence was necessary in the final negotiations to avoid a war between the people of the Earth and the people of the moon. What can be so important about this “Calendar” that demands your immediate attention when you’re incapable of standing and/or breathing?
John: If it’s not completed, we incur the wrath of Horace, and his wrath is infinite. So despite my state, my closeness to death, the disappearance of all my colleagues means only I am able to hold back his anger.
Nursey: Yes, like in all things with Horace. But his understanding is infinite too? What manner of game could be so good to be worth risking your entire life to chronicle in this calendar?
John: It’s Lara Croft & The Guardian Of Light.
Nursey: Crikey! Lara? Do they still make Lara games? I remember them from my youth.
John: But this is a top-down action shooter, that can be played two-player.
Nursey: Oh my!
John: I snuck out of my ward for a quick go at the co-op today with Phill Cameron, but I could only last one chapter before having to lie down again. (I wish I were making this up.)
Nursey: Oh, heavens!
John: Do you think it would be okay if I just said, “It’s really good, one of the best games of the year by far,” and then link to my review?
Nursey: I think that is the only solution. Unless somehow you are able to heal yourself. Is that possible? Can you heal yourself?
John: But nurse, I’m notoriously bad at healing. Such wicked fate.
Nursey: Ah, this is very true. I’d probably do that, then return to your death bed… I mean, your convalescence.
John: And that bed bath you were promising?
Nursey: The bed bath will come as soon as I’ve emptied your chamber pot of urine and pus.
John: Oh nurse, without you I’d be as nothing. Especially because I’m having to post this on a fucking Saturday when I’m fucking dying…
Nursey: Language, Mr Walker, or they’ll be no opium for you.
John: Begging your pardon nurse.
Ooooh, John’s bitter!
And I love how Nursey has her own email address! Can I send an email to her for helpful tips on how to stay healthy this Christmas?
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Heavens! I couldn’t receive e-mails from so many young men! What would Mr Nursey Say?
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threesome?
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Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
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Oh thanks Jsnuk, now you make me sound like a swinger. :(
I was being perfectly innocent!
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No no no no no no no. No threesomes involving Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Not even slightly.
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On a scale of 1 to Funny, that rated Fucking Hilarious. Well done, pus-wreathed invalid!
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Nursey’s gravatar is a red cross.
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@Nursey: Threesome? With Jesus, Mary any Joseph? Wouldn’t that be incest, (fun for the whole family)? :P
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Another of the games that I picked up in Black Friday sales and haven’t tried yet. Considering I’ve heard pretty much nothing but praise for it I really should get round to that.
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Is the Kain and Raziel pack out yet? I’d be interested in seeing if they play differently.
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There’s a Kain and Raziel pack in the works? Wow, my Legacy of Kain loving friend will have a boner the size of an Egyptian pyramid over this.
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So far on PC, all we have is DLC2, which is a combat and speedrun challenge pack, not so brilliant (although indeed fairly challenging) and also free on PC.
Xbox appears to have got it 3 days ago
As an aside, I hate how hard it is to find info about this game. Official site is a flash-site set up before the game launched.
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Damn, I didn’t know about this! Glad to see they haven’t forgotten, that those games exist. :)
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Anyway, Lara and the GoL played coop is thoroughly excellent. The best moments are when the game really nails feeling like Indiana Jones in a film, pulling each other out of harms way at the last moment or negotiating a really tricky and delicate manoeuvre, followed by bursting into sprinting combat. The fact that they made different puzzles for SP and MP is great, too, and all in a really neat price.
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The nurse should not be the one who puts salt in your wounds
But it’s always with trust that the poison is fed with a spoon
Stay wary, John!
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Get well soon John! :)
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Yes, please do, John! :)
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Those RPS bastards.
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I bought this during the Steam Thanksgiving Sale and thought it really was great stuff. I’ve not even played it co-op yet and I still enjoyed it immensely. Although, the constant excuses from Totec that he has to go and do something else do seem a little silly, but probably preferable to playing with an AI partner.
Think I’m going to have to buy it as a Christmas present for someone and force them to play with me.
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Has anyone seen the film Misery?
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*shudder* Yes! *shudder*
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“But nurse, I’m notoriously bad at healing. Such wicked fate.” I LOLed there.
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It was the death bed/convalescence thing that got me.
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I think every indie developer should put some money into getting John some biscuits.
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With the way the post is at the moment, by the time he gets them they will have turned into green power.
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Anyone know if this is worth getting for solo play or is it only good for coop?
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The game is very good Single Player.
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Indeed, Guardian of Light is a great deal of fun. My roommate and I have had a tremendous time playing through it together. Not on PC, alas, but co-op on what my roommate’s girl keeps calling a P-thingie, which is a mite awkward.
I hope Mr Walker gets his opium fix.
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If you guys don’t have Amnesia in one of these Games of Christmas, I’m gonna be mightily pissed. Because a game like this is far, far less deserving of mention than Amnesia.
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Maybe they forgot about it.
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I figure they’re saving it til last as it was THE BEST GAME OF THE YEAR
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Actually, this game is good and Amnesia is a yawn fest walk-forward-athon.
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Very much enjoying playing this through in co-op with my girlfriend.
We liked how the characters are similar in combat (so neither has to master some different fighting style) but they both rely on each other for the puzzles.
In the past we’d played Trine and while we enjoyed it, it always felt like one of us had a character that was bad for the current part of the level. I’m aware that’s pretty much the idea, working together to get past everything but this was much easier to just sit and play.
We got to the second last level then seemed to lose all our saves in the steam cloud, so we’re going to have another go over christmas.
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stop complaining about your man-flu and get back to work
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I tried the demo, and the aiming/controls were utter shite. I’m sure either 1- there was something wonky on my computer setup or 2 – I’m just dense, but all I remember was thinking “Crap, I just want to aim at the blasted Urn with my mouse and shoot at it, why is this so difficult”.
IIRC it didn’t properly like my 360 controller either.
Is it worth another try?
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Scandalon,
I don’t know what to say about the issues with your 360 controller, it worked fine for me. What exactly was wrong?
YES it is worth another try, if you get your 360 controller working it is a beautiful well-made game. I haven’t tried playing it with a mouse, but I would imagine this type of game wouldn’t respond well.
This game is better than most of the AAA titles release this year…far more polished with just the right hint of nostalgia.
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I wanted to like this game but since I play PC games with a PC mouse and keyboard (yes, an absolutely CRAZY idea to be sure) it just didn’t work well for me. Of course at the jumping the damn toadstools part. Or some of the dodgy jumpy boss parts.
I also morally objected to it having a single player game that deliberately left content out of reach if you didn’t have a co-op game going. I’m a crotchety old gamer living in an isolated cave who feels entitled to a single player experience without being teased or taunted by the lack of friends :(
Otherwise, excellent game and a nice addition to the rather sparse offerings in the top-down Alien Breed, Alien Swarm, Waiting for Diablo 3, Shadowgrounds-ish genre.
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I found M&K controls fine ad a lot of fun. Some other preferred gamepad.
Also, the SP game doesn’t exclude any content – some puzzles are different, that’s all, The reason that you don’t get those puzzles i single player is because they need two people to solve them. There’s no way you could have them in SP.
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@DigitalSignalX: What content out of reach? To the best of my knowledge, the single player has no content that can’t be achieved single player. This is especially true since none of the content unlocked in either SP or co-op carries to the other.
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It infuriates me that you can’t remap the controls in the PC version. They don’t even let you swap weapons with the scroll wheel for fucks sake! Who wants to use fucking ALT as the interact button?
Damn game needs a pad anyway.
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Whut?!
You can re-map the controls, just look in the options menu. And the scroll-wheel cycles weapons by default.
The general consesus seems to be that a control pad is better for the jumpy bits, but keyboard & mouse is better for the shooty bits. I used the latter setup as I don’t own a control pad, and I only had issues in one part (jumping between the Spider pots).
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Get well soon John!
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“Nursey: I think that is the only solution. Unless somehow you are able to heal yourself. Is that possible? Can you heal yourself?
John: But nurse, I’m notoriously bad at healing. Such wicked fate.”
Fab. :D
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I need a game to play whilst listening to podcasts. Would this be suitable?
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One of the best games I’ve played this year and definitely the best two player coop game I’ve ever played. It’s also the perfect game to play together with your girlfriend if you have a console or have your pc hooked up to your tv and got two Xbox controllers.
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