By Alec Meer on January 18th, 2011 at 5:21 pm.
This is very, very, very old. That doesn’t make it any less beautiful, or any less worth posting now. Infogrames: that’s our world.
Well, was our world. Consider this official promotional song from way back when a perfect eulogy for the artist later known as Atari.
Altogether now: “Unreal Tournament / Test Drive / Survivor / Civilization / Superman saaaaaaaaves the nation…” And that’s not all.
Innovatiiiiiiiiiiiiiion!
Entertainment!
Imagination!
ROCKS! MY! WORLD!
And, of course, “phenomenal gameplay.” I don’t think there’s anything on this Earth I’d enjoy so much as interviewing the lady who sung this song. What did she think the first time she saw those lyrics? Does she make a living performing other nightmarishly earnest corporate ditties? Can we hear them? Please?
Why don’t all publishers do this? Whyyyyyyyyyy?
And if they did, internet, what would EA, Activision, Ubisoft, Rockstar et al’s songs be like, eh?
Restored to the world’s awareness today by Steve Gaynor.
18/01/2011 at 17:23 Markachy says:
Took me about 5 minutes to work out what that post was about…!
18/01/2011 at 17:25 Bungle says:
I thought the song would be funny, but I couldn’t get past the 30 second mark. It’s every bit as bad as you expect it to be.
18/01/2011 at 17:26 DrazharLn says:
I don’t know where you’re embedding these videos from, but they never load for me. Searching for an alternative…
Direct link seemed to work (taken from the tweet).
That was… peculiar.
18/01/2011 at 18:04 FriendlyFire says:
That’s the G4TV.com (probably X-Play) player as far as I can tell.
18/01/2011 at 22:04 dadioflex says:
Even the direct link didn’t work for me.
18/01/2011 at 17:31 Mr_Day says:
EA song, to the tune of “If I was a rich man”
#Think I’ll buy your ip,
#om a nomma nomma, nomma nomma nomma nomma nom.
Ok, I am kind of being a dick there.
18/01/2011 at 17:47 bob_d says:
Given what my friends and former colleagues who worked at EA have told me, methinks this is more appropriate music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O5A2OX8wUE
18/01/2011 at 18:08 Diziet Sma says:
@bob_d Brilliant and yes I agree.
18/01/2011 at 19:18 BAReFOOt says:
Add hard alcohol into the mix, and you’re right. At least that’s how two people I know “survived” EA.
The problem: The alcoholism did stay.
19/01/2011 at 02:20 Mr_Day says:
“Crunch speed!”
18/01/2011 at 17:33 Igor Hardy says:
What about Shadow of The Comet, Eternam, the original Alone in The Dark – those were THE Infogrames titles, why not sing about them? :(
18/01/2011 at 17:36 Stijn says:
At least Alone in the Dark is mentioned, somewhere in the beginning of the song.
18/01/2011 at 17:38 Eclipse says:
Oucast and Silver anyone?
18/01/2011 at 18:33 Casimir's Blake says:
Igor, you’re assuming that the talented and imaginative folks that worked on those classics are still present within Infogrames. Or you assume, or perhaps hope (as I would) that there may still remain a semblance of talent and imagination within the Infogrames dev teams. I hate to break it to you… but it’s bloody unlikely. :(
18/01/2011 at 21:15 Sic says:
Are you saying she mentioned Prisoner of Ice?
18/01/2011 at 17:33 omicron1 says:
I mainly like Infogrames because they published the Impressions titles.
Those were the days…
18/01/2011 at 17:38 scottossington says:
What does the name Infogrames mean anyway, I always thought it was a spelling mistake. But hey, at least I know how to properly pronounce it.
18/01/2011 at 17:38 Eclipse says:
I remember when Infogrames was cool:
Alone in the Dark (the original one), Outcast, Silver, Shadow of The Comet….
Man I want to play Silver so bad now…
18/01/2011 at 17:41 scottossington says:
Oh Wikipedia, is there nothing that escapes your toothy, internet information eating maw.
“The founders wanted to christen the company Zboub Système, but were dissuaded by their legal counsel.[4] According to Bonnell in a TV interview, they then used a mix-and-match computer program to suggest other names, one of which was “Infogramme”: a portmanteau of the French words “informatique” (information technology) and “programme” (a computer program). The final choice, “Infogrames”, was a slightly modified version of that suggestion, and is pronounced /ˌɪnfoʊˈɡræmz/ in English.”
18/01/2011 at 17:50 KingCathcart says:
Wait a minute, Infograms, InfogRames! I’ve been calling them Infogames all this time.
Why did no one correct me. I’ve been making a complete idoit of myself.
18/01/2011 at 18:34 Casimir's Blake says:
You’re excused King, and I wouldn’t worry about it. They’re French, after all. ;)
18/01/2011 at 19:21 BAReFOOt says:
You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Cathcart-King, you and all your silly English kaniggets. Thppppt!
No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
19/01/2011 at 09:08 adonf says:
Zboub Systèmes would mean something like “Penis Systems” so Infogrames is not that bad after all (although no one even knows how many Ms it takes)
18/01/2011 at 17:51 kikito says:
“And if they did, internet, what would EA, Activision, Ubisoft, Rockstar et al’s songs be like, eh?”
Oh but they DO have a song. It sounds inside their directive’s heads.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkRIbUT6u7Q
18/01/2011 at 17:55 Miked says:
I blacked out at the key change.
20/01/2011 at 10:58 Shadowcat says:
That bit was horrific. A few seconds of that had me flailing madly for any button which would make it stop. I fear it may have been a dire means of summoning the Great Old Ones to our plane of reality.
18/01/2011 at 18:03 jthmmdom says:
My ears are dead.
Although now I am thinking about this song. It is one of the catchiest sound clips I have seen for an advertisement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCvIw7DMHXc
18/01/2011 at 20:39 gwathdring says:
Heeheeheehee. That’s awesome. They must have had fun.
18/01/2011 at 18:03 sonofsanta says:
Oh good lord.
I AM FILLED WITH 90s-THEMED CORPORATE LOYALTY TO THIS FACELESS PURVEYOR OF JOY AND PIANO LOOPS
(and seriously, the too-quick-thing is more broken than usual today, two posts 8 hours apart made on 2 different computers both got complained at)
18/01/2011 at 18:25 Voidy says:
I’ll take this opportunity to remind everyone that Blizzard has official promotional band, and they’re awesome.
18/01/2011 at 18:55 Wulf says:
Except they’re really, really not. That’s some of the worst metal I’ve ever heard, because there’s no passion or fire there, it’s like they realised that this was where their band was going to die, and they can’t put any feeling into it.
My mind compares this to the likes of Nightwish, then I shake my head sadly.
No, I do not think they are great. There’s that whole taste and subjectivity thing, so if they’re your cup of tea then that’s great. But I like my metal bands to actually sound like they’re not irreversibly dead inside. Hell, there was more emotion in some of Weird Al’s metal pisstakes.
I suppose all it takes is a brand attached to something though to make it good, but again, some people actually might find them really great. More power to them. My tastes lean more to the likes of Nightwish, Evanescence, and Dragonforce.
18/01/2011 at 19:50 Voidy says:
Oh, man. Allow me to elaborate, then: Tauren Chieftains are awesome despite being the most generic fantasy metal band imaginable aaaaand because of that, actually. They’re like: “Yeah we sing these songs about imaginary worlds and brave monsters and scary heroes and we realize that’s silly and old news but you know what? These songs are about the games we make and love. So there.” They manage to be both ironic and sincere about the whole business and that resonates well with my inner geek.
Oh, and the ‘real’ metal? Tool, Boris, Isis, Mastodon and, um, Metallica. In my book, neither Nightwish nor Evanescence could hold a candle to any one of them.
18/01/2011 at 19:51 destx says:
@Wulf That’s funny. I would say exactly the same thing about the three bands you listed, mister. If you think that’s the best metal has to offer, you need to broaden your horizons, maaaannnn.
18/01/2011 at 19:55 Highstorm says:
Seriously. Their song “Terran Up The Night” that plays during the SC2 credits is terribad. I can kind of stand the instrumentals, but the vocals… dear god the vocals!
18/01/2011 at 20:19 Starky says:
Oh come on Evanescence and Dragonforce are awesome, granted they are hardly the best the genre has to offer, but Evanescience! put out some great “I can listen to this with my non-metal liking girlfriend” music, and Dragonforce is just plain fun.
Still you guys need to take what Wulf says with a pinch of salt – he’s a massive Guildwars fanboy and Blizzard hater – guild wars is great, and GW2 is looking like it may be amazing. But Wulf seriously takes his worship a bit to far and cannot pass up any post or thread where he may demonstrate this.
The Blizzard band are great – sure they are generic and cheesy, but it is all in good fun. And you all seem to be forgetting (or ignorant of) the fact that they are NOT some corporate band working for blizzard, but a band FORMED by Blizzard employees. They are artists and producers and worked at blizzard before forming the band.
Hell Mike Morhaime – the co-founder and president of Blizzard – is the bassist.
They do it for a bit of fun.
18/01/2011 at 23:44 outoffeelinsobad says:
People actually like Evanescence? I thought they were just pop-rock profit puppets, like Linkin Park and Nickelback.
18/01/2011 at 23:51 Stijn says:
I am glad RPS is not a music site.
19/01/2011 at 17:18 Dances to Podcasts says:
Your favourite band sucks!
18/01/2011 at 18:30 utharda says:
From the tags, I am a fan of phenomenal gamplay! go go gams!
/am i too old?
18/01/2011 at 18:58 Wulf says:
Yes. But so are many of us.
18/01/2011 at 18:38 TeraTelnet says:
And I thought KPMG’s was bad.
(Well, it was actually, well worse than this – see?)
18/01/2011 at 18:59 Wulf says:
Well, that was entertaining for a little while.
And I finally learned how their company’s once-name is pronounced, too.
18/01/2011 at 19:06 Pani says:
That and all the other videos posted in the comments were great!
Got the “oh no you didn’t” song in my head now lol
18/01/2011 at 19:16 phlebas says:
That’s quite a key change they’ve got there.
No mention of The Vera Cruz Affair?
18/01/2011 at 19:48 RLacey says:
I’ve treasured this one for a long time.
18/01/2011 at 19:55 Berzee says:
<3
18/01/2011 at 19:56 ZIGS says:
That song today would’ve to be about terrible ports, draconian DRM and complete lack of post-sales support
18/01/2011 at 21:20 Lord Byte says:
Activision: “Money money money money money”
*Chorus* “Money money money money’
Yeah it sounds exactly like you think it does, now give them your money!
18/01/2011 at 23:30 Lambchops says:
But do they mention the 57th best PC game of all time?
I think they didn’t – hence they fail! What with it being the best thing they published and all.
19/01/2011 at 00:57 Lujo says:
Wasn’t Unreal Tournament published by Digital Extremes, or is there something I’m missing here?
19/01/2011 at 01:24 haircute says:
How funny. I was just humming this earlier today and trying to remember if it was Activision or Infogrames.
19/01/2011 at 08:11 terry says:
Mercifully I missed this one. Infogrames were dead to me after North and South >:(
19/01/2011 at 12:20 Ginger Yellow says:
I loved North and South so much. And it occurs to me now that it was a prototype for the Total War series. Strategic map, real time battles. Bridge crossings, cavalry charges. It had it all!
19/01/2011 at 09:16 adonf says:
I worked for an independent studio on an Infogrames project at the time this came out and there was always someone playing it at the office. Oh yes did Infogrames rock our world. They delivered magic, late feature changes and crunch time.
19/01/2011 at 10:19 .backslash says:
Oh. Oh my, it’s almost as bad as Apple’s ridiculously 80s advert song
19/01/2011 at 10:23 DrunkDog says:
Ye gads I think the best Infogrames game I remember was on the C64/Amiga where you played a wee counter terrorist chappie who had to dive into bushes in a side on section before entering various buildings and shooting bad men in the face in a pseudo 3d setting. It all seemed very Gallic and immensely fascistic. I could of course be mis-remembering and it’s just a dream I had after too much camembert. Anyone?
22/01/2011 at 06:57 Panda Powered says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ePfy0V0thc
19/01/2011 at 10:40 Daniel Carvalho says:
Lets not forget Alone in the Dark. Infogrames is legend.
19/01/2011 at 19:35 RegisteredUser says:
Ubisoft,
steals steals
my rights
Ubisoft
causes me fright
When all ownership / that you thought was hip
is being eaten up by evil DRMmmmmmm
Ohhhhh
Ubisoft
steals steals
my rights
etc pp
/
Also, the Stardock rap, feat. fellow artist and real street hustla Paradox Interactive:
Now this is a story all about how
our blockbuster title got shoved out right now
and I’d like to take a minute and tell you where
we found all the bugs that now cause you despair
/metric change/
It was up our bums after doing things to your mums
now give us your money and we’ll do something funny
we’ll go and pretend
we’re gonna go fix and mend
and still stick you with a half-done product in the end!
but don’t you worry
do not despair
we’ll sell a true fix as full priced expansion, yea!