Never Forget: Infogrames’ Greatest Hit

By Alec Meer on January 18th, 2011 at 5:21 pm.

This is very, very, very old. That doesn’t make it any less beautiful, or any less worth posting now. Infogrames: that’s our world.

Well, was our world. Consider this official promotional song from way back when a perfect eulogy for the artist later known as Atari.

Altogether now: “Unreal Tournament / Test Drive / Survivor / Civilization / Superman saaaaaaaaves the nation…” And that’s not all.

Innovatiiiiiiiiiiiiiion!
Entertainment!
Imagination!
ROCKS! MY! WORLD!

And, of course, “phenomenal gameplay.” I don’t think there’s anything on this Earth I’d enjoy so much as interviewing the lady who sung this song. What did she think the first time she saw those lyrics? Does she make a living performing other nightmarishly earnest corporate ditties? Can we hear them? Please?

Why don’t all publishers do this? Whyyyyyyyyyy?

And if they did, internet, what would EA, Activision, Ubisoft, Rockstar et al’s songs be like, eh?

Restored to the world’s awareness today by Steve Gaynor.

__________________

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59 Comments »

  1. Markachy says:

    Took me about 5 minutes to work out what that post was about…!

  2. Bungle says:

    I thought the song would be funny, but I couldn’t get past the 30 second mark. It’s every bit as bad as you expect it to be.

  3. DrazharLn says:

    I don’t know where you’re embedding these videos from, but they never load for me. Searching for an alternative…

    Direct link seemed to work (taken from the tweet).

    That was… peculiar.

  4. Mr_Day says:

    EA song, to the tune of “If I was a rich man”

    #Think I’ll buy your ip,
    #om a nomma nomma, nomma nomma nomma nomma nom.

    Ok, I am kind of being a dick there.

  5. Igor Hardy says:

    What about Shadow of The Comet, Eternam, the original Alone in The Dark – those were THE Infogrames titles, why not sing about them? :(

  6. omicron1 says:

    I mainly like Infogrames because they published the Impressions titles.

    Those were the days…

  7. scottossington says:

    What does the name Infogrames mean anyway, I always thought it was a spelling mistake. But hey, at least I know how to properly pronounce it.

  8. Eclipse says:

    I remember when Infogrames was cool:
    Alone in the Dark (the original one), Outcast, Silver, Shadow of The Comet….

    Man I want to play Silver so bad now…

  9. scottossington says:

    Oh Wikipedia, is there nothing that escapes your toothy, internet information eating maw.

    “The founders wanted to christen the company Zboub Système, but were dissuaded by their legal counsel.[4] According to Bonnell in a TV interview, they then used a mix-and-match computer program to suggest other names, one of which was “Infogramme”: a portmanteau of the French words “informatique” (information technology) and “programme” (a computer program). The final choice, “Infogrames”, was a slightly modified version of that suggestion, and is pronounced /ˌɪnfoʊˈɡræmz/ in English.”

    • KingCathcart says:

      Wait a minute, Infograms, InfogRames! I’ve been calling them Infogames all this time.

      Why did no one correct me. I’ve been making a complete idoit of myself.

    • Casimir's Blake says:

      You’re excused King, and I wouldn’t worry about it. They’re French, after all. ;)

    • BAReFOOt says:

      You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Cathcart-King, you and all your silly English kaniggets. Thppppt!

      No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!

    • adonf says:

      Zboub Systèmes would mean something like “Penis Systems” so Infogrames is not that bad after all (although no one even knows how many Ms it takes)

  10. kikito says:

    “And if they did, internet, what would EA, Activision, Ubisoft, Rockstar et al’s songs be like, eh?”

    Oh but they DO have a song. It sounds inside their directive’s heads.

  11. Miked says:

    I blacked out at the key change.

    • Shadowcat says:

      That bit was horrific. A few seconds of that had me flailing madly for any button which would make it stop. I fear it may have been a dire means of summoning the Great Old Ones to our plane of reality.

  12. jthmmdom says:

    My ears are dead.

    Although now I am thinking about this song. It is one of the catchiest sound clips I have seen for an advertisement.

  13. sonofsanta says:

    Oh good lord.

    I AM FILLED WITH 90s-THEMED CORPORATE LOYALTY TO THIS FACELESS PURVEYOR OF JOY AND PIANO LOOPS

    (and seriously, the too-quick-thing is more broken than usual today, two posts 8 hours apart made on 2 different computers both got complained at)

  14. Voidy says:

    I’ll take this opportunity to remind everyone that Blizzard has official promotional band, and they’re awesome.

    • Wulf says:

      Except they’re really, really not. That’s some of the worst metal I’ve ever heard, because there’s no passion or fire there, it’s like they realised that this was where their band was going to die, and they can’t put any feeling into it.

      My mind compares this to the likes of Nightwish, then I shake my head sadly.

      No, I do not think they are great. There’s that whole taste and subjectivity thing, so if they’re your cup of tea then that’s great. But I like my metal bands to actually sound like they’re not irreversibly dead inside. Hell, there was more emotion in some of Weird Al’s metal pisstakes.

      I suppose all it takes is a brand attached to something though to make it good, but again, some people actually might find them really great. More power to them. My tastes lean more to the likes of Nightwish, Evanescence, and Dragonforce.

    • Voidy says:

      Oh, man. Allow me to elaborate, then: Tauren Chieftains are awesome despite being the most generic fantasy metal band imaginable aaaaand because of that, actually. They’re like: “Yeah we sing these songs about imaginary worlds and brave monsters and scary heroes and we realize that’s silly and old news but you know what? These songs are about the games we make and love. So there.” They manage to be both ironic and sincere about the whole business and that resonates well with my inner geek.

      Oh, and the ‘real’ metal? Tool, Boris, Isis, Mastodon and, um, Metallica. In my book, neither Nightwish nor Evanescence could hold a candle to any one of them.

    • destx says:

      @Wulf That’s funny. I would say exactly the same thing about the three bands you listed, mister. If you think that’s the best metal has to offer, you need to broaden your horizons, maaaannnn.

    • Highstorm says:

      Seriously. Their song “Terran Up The Night” that plays during the SC2 credits is terribad. I can kind of stand the instrumentals, but the vocals… dear god the vocals!

    • Starky says:

      Oh come on Evanescence and Dragonforce are awesome, granted they are hardly the best the genre has to offer, but Evanescience! put out some great “I can listen to this with my non-metal liking girlfriend” music, and Dragonforce is just plain fun.

      Still you guys need to take what Wulf says with a pinch of salt – he’s a massive Guildwars fanboy and Blizzard hater – guild wars is great, and GW2 is looking like it may be amazing. But Wulf seriously takes his worship a bit to far and cannot pass up any post or thread where he may demonstrate this.

      The Blizzard band are great – sure they are generic and cheesy, but it is all in good fun. And you all seem to be forgetting (or ignorant of) the fact that they are NOT some corporate band working for blizzard, but a band FORMED by Blizzard employees. They are artists and producers and worked at blizzard before forming the band.
      Hell Mike Morhaime – the co-founder and president of Blizzard – is the bassist.
      They do it for a bit of fun.

    • outoffeelinsobad says:

      People actually like Evanescence? I thought they were just pop-rock profit puppets, like Linkin Park and Nickelback.

    • Stijn says:

      I am glad RPS is not a music site.

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      Your favourite band sucks!

  15. utharda says:

    From the tags, I am a fan of phenomenal gamplay! go go gams!

    /am i too old?

  16. TeraTelnet says:

    And I thought KPMG’s was bad.

    (Well, it was actually, well worse than this – see?)

  17. Wulf says:

    Well, that was entertaining for a little while.

    And I finally learned how their company’s once-name is pronounced, too.

  18. Pani says:

    That and all the other videos posted in the comments were great!

    Got the “oh no you didn’t” song in my head now lol

  19. phlebas says:

    That’s quite a key change they’ve got there.
    No mention of The Vera Cruz Affair?

  20. RLacey says:

    I’ve treasured this one for a long time.

  21. ZIGS says:

    That song today would’ve to be about terrible ports, draconian DRM and complete lack of post-sales support

  22. Lord Byte says:

    Activision: “Money money money money money”
    *Chorus* “Money money money money’
    Yeah it sounds exactly like you think it does, now give them your money!

  23. Lambchops says:

    But do they mention the 57th best PC game of all time?

    I think they didn’t – hence they fail! What with it being the best thing they published and all.

  24. Lujo says:

    Wasn’t Unreal Tournament published by Digital Extremes, or is there something I’m missing here?

  25. haircute says:

    How funny. I was just humming this earlier today and trying to remember if it was Activision or Infogrames.

  26. terry says:

    Mercifully I missed this one. Infogrames were dead to me after North and South >:(

    • Ginger Yellow says:

      I loved North and South so much. And it occurs to me now that it was a prototype for the Total War series. Strategic map, real time battles. Bridge crossings, cavalry charges. It had it all!

  27. adonf says:

    I worked for an independent studio on an Infogrames project at the time this came out and there was always someone playing it at the office. Oh yes did Infogrames rock our world. They delivered magic, late feature changes and crunch time.

  28. .backslash says:

    Oh. Oh my, it’s almost as bad as Apple’s ridiculously 80s advert song

  29. DrunkDog says:

    Ye gads I think the best Infogrames game I remember was on the C64/Amiga where you played a wee counter terrorist chappie who had to dive into bushes in a side on section before entering various buildings and shooting bad men in the face in a pseudo 3d setting. It all seemed very Gallic and immensely fascistic. I could of course be mis-remembering and it’s just a dream I had after too much camembert. Anyone?

  30. Daniel Carvalho says:

    Lets not forget Alone in the Dark. Infogrames is legend.

  31. RegisteredUser says:

    Ubisoft,
    steals steals
    my rights

    Ubisoft
    causes me fright

    When all ownership / that you thought was hip
    is being eaten up by evil DRMmmmmmm

    Ohhhhh

    Ubisoft
    steals steals
    my rights
    etc pp

    /

    Also, the Stardock rap, feat. fellow artist and real street hustla Paradox Interactive:

    Now this is a story all about how
    our blockbuster title got shoved out right now
    and I’d like to take a minute and tell you where
    we found all the bugs that now cause you despair

    /metric change/

    It was up our bums after doing things to your mums

    now give us your money and we’ll do something funny
    we’ll go and pretend
    we’re gonna go fix and mend
    and still stick you with a half-done product in the end!

    but don’t you worry
    do not despair
    we’ll sell a true fix as full priced expansion, yea!

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