Grand Mer: A Reel Good Time (Dies)

By John Walker on January 25th, 2011 at 4:17 pm.

He definitely thinks of her as lure.

The year is 2018. The world has been flooded due to man’s irreparable damage. In this bleak future of Grand Mer only one activity can save mankind…

Fishing.

Cue music.

I cannot get over how delighted I am to have discovered the press release for forthcoming free-to-play online game, Grand Mer.

“Fishing is now the single most important activity as the human race fights starvation in an effort to survive.”

It also boasts, “An open world of seas,” which is perhaps the best level design shortcut I’ve ever heard of. But there will be weather that will affect fishie behaviour, and time of day that again changes what’s available to fish.

Even better I love this opening line on the game’s site:

“GRAND MER is the world’s first online Saltwater Fishing game.”

The game describes itself as offering:

- Select from several unique characters, customize them and further develop their fishing skills
- Travel the world by selecting from several exciting maps, ranging from icy cold waters to tropical paradises
- Fish at your leisure, compete individually or in a team (customizing the rules for that match), play a Tour and complete mission objectives or enter a Championship and test your skills against the very best!
- Experience dynamic fishing with shoals of fish reacting to weather, location, time and more
- Customize your gear such as fishing rods, lures and your own custom made boat!
- Keep track of your favorite fish in your own aquarium and earn special rewards for catching specific fish (will you catch the elusive and dangerous great white shark?)
- Shrieking girls in bikinis waggling their arms

I may have added one.

I was thinking to myself while writing this, “Would it be great if my Dreamcast fishing peripheral [unused, bought as a present for my sister that never quite worked out] could be adapted?” Turns out while that’s obviously not going to happen, Grand Mer fishing rod controllers with motion sensors and vibration feedback are planned! Or you can, they say, even control the game with a Grand Mer iPhone app, which sounds flipping ace.

The closed beta is yet to start, but seems like it should be announced soon. It’s from the same publishers who are reinventing Mythos, and as much as I want to laugh, I’m really intrigued to play this.

Now, come on, we have to get this terrifying trailer beyond its current 13 views:

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141 Comments »

  1. Kieron Gillen says:

    Finally, I can bring my two great loves of masturbating to cartoon characters and fishing together.

    KG

  2. LD says:

    people can and will play anything, a fishing mmo, sure why not.

  3. DeathHamsterDude says:

    . . . Jesus.

    Jesus.

  4. das_fleisch says:

    Grand Mer? Seriously? If you say this in French, it sounds exactly the same as Grand Mère, which means grandmother.

    They are probably expecting her to play that.

  5. nuh uh no way says:

    That is some outfit you’ve got there, lady.

    Oh and Guy? What the hell is up with your waist and legs? Are you related to Heavy?

  6. Lambchops says:

    The combination of camera angle and iffy reeling in animation look decidedly dodgy!

  7. harmen says:

    Can we add this to the “wonders of the world” list? No, the other one.

  8. westyfield says:

    I typed out a really good comment but it got eaten by the ‘posting too quickly’ monster. Pretend it’s still here. It was really funny, this is the point where you laugh.

  9. CMaster says:

    I like how seemingly every character, male of female gets a bikini girl to cheer them on (while fishing!)
    Also the horrible, horrible sounds and the flashing up of the logo every few minutes in case you forgot.

  10. Linfosoma says:

    It seems that in 2018 humans will adapt to have no hip bones.

  11. NetsukeMonkey says:

    What the…why didn’t anyone ever tell me fishing was like this. The costumes…the glamour…the beautiful spectators! Now I understand why my girlfriend’s dad is always so keen to go fishing.

  12. Pijama says:

    Uh…

    Ahem…

    Err…

    What the fuck?

  13. Man Raised by Puffins says:

    It’s a rare trailer that actually attains some gravitas when over-dubbed with the Hawaii Five-O theme.

  14. mcnostril says:

    What is it with game titles and poorly translated french?

    It’s like… a trend… or something.

  15. Ian says:

    52 views!

  16. fearian says:

    This is the most laid back post apocalyptic world I have ever seen! …And I want to see more!

    A sudden ice age has encased civilization in glaciers! Humanity must fight to survive… by SKIING whilst bikini clad girls whoop to soft Jazz.

    Scorching deserts make up 90% of the earth’s surface after a meteorite drastically alters the planets orbit. Humanity is forced to huddle around oasis’ and SMOKE SHISHA in Bedouin tents whilst bikini clad girls cheer to Arabian lounge music.

    Nuclear winter has driven humanity underground. Post-government, societies are banded together in tribes and power is decided by one thing: COMPETITIVE POOL whilst bikini clad girls yell to ambient electronica.

  17. limbclock says:

    Thank god i won’t be able to play this on my mac.

  18. prolixpostoffice says:

    I can’t wait until this world invents commercialized fishing…

  19. kulik says:

    Do we get harpoons?

  20. DarkFenix says:

    What. The. Fuck.

    I honestly feel watching that trailer has considerably degraded my life.

  21. outoffeelinsobad says:

    The anatomy on the man in the banner pic maek mah hed asplode.

  22. egg says:

    Good lord, look at the length of that guy’s neck! Holy cow!

  23. Oak says:

    The second picture is killing me. I am dying. I will be dead soon.

  24. thesundaybest says:

    It’s good to know that at the end of times we’ll all be hanging out on our speedboats, fishing for dolphins and sharks. Puts my mind at ease about all this global warming.

  25. Chunga says:

    Oh man. That music. *facepalm*

    If we are going to hell in a fisher-wanker paradise, let’s make it real fast, huh?

  26. noom says:

    That looks fucking magical.

  27. liqourish says:

    I’m going to try this.
    I believe there is potential here for something amazing.

  28. Hunam says:

    Well consider my tackle slapped.

  29. terry says:

    You had me up until “fishing”.

  30. SneakyB says:

    Gotta love the music though. Very post apo

    Also, as a French I hope they’ll keep the same title in France. Unless they translate it into something along the lines of “Grosse mère” = “Fat mother”
    .

  31. The Magic says:

    A lot of people seem to be attacking this for being so openly ridiculous… but you know what, I’m interested. It’s got that Albatross18 vibe to it, and if the fishing is simple yet compelling, I’ll be playing this for a long time.

  32. Ricc says:

    That Russian seaport is a giant matryoshka doll… Hook me up! (no pun intended)

    • phuzz says:

      “(no pun intended)”
      This is RPS, if you didn’t intend a pun then you’re doing it wrong.
      Now go away and don’t come back until you can manage at least 5 puns in one sentence.

    • stahlwerk says:

      First I thought this looked a bit fishy, and that they tried to lure me in with promises of buxom gills, but when I saw(fish) that Matryoshka doll(phin) I fell for it, hook, line and sinker.

      Carp.

    • Nidokoenig says:

      Nidokoenig stopped scrolling, interrupted by carp.

  33. Calabi says:

    Well at least they are targeting a niche.

    I cant see how this could be bad, at all.

  34. Zwebbie says:

    While I won’t exactly be running to the stores for a fishing game, I think this game is thematically more appealing than most other games out there. I’ve had my share of gritty fantasy dungeons and corroded sci-fi hallways, and more games should have happy music, beaches, and sharks. Not enough games are cheerful.
    (Not on the PC, at least…)

  35. Bassism says:

    I can’t wait until the day I can cruise around on my speedboat fishing for big ass sharks while a beautiful bikini-clad girl cheers me on.

    Well, as long as there is still beer. No beer, no deal.

  36. Vadermath says:

    Hm. Tits and fishing. I might actually play this.

  37. Sarlix says:

    The fish kissing makes me uncomfortable.

  38. Hoaxfish says:

    Kinda reminds me of the hovercraft in Beyond Good and Evil… a very very loose association

  39. bascule42 says:

    My name? It’s JR Hartley. (I know I said last for the last AAA fishing title – but hey, it’s a classic)

  40. silverhammermba says:

    It is truly a bleak future that we face.

  41. PoLLeNSKi says:

    Animated girls in bikinis and fishing….well whatever floats your boat

  42. zak canard says:

    Customise your lures eh? I’d like to use this tried and tested one:

    Hey fish! I’m gonna recommend that you guys come up here in the boat. We’ve got a, uh, a keg! Of worms! And, uh…phytoplankton!

  43. Wolfox says:

    There are two letters missing in the end of the title, you know.

    And is it just me, or is the guy in the logo literally jumping the shark?

    That’s it. MMO’s have jumped the shark. Literally.

  44. Firkragg says:

    In the grim dark future, Humanity has apparently been enslaved by a Skynet like entity, forcing humans to fish for them or be terminated! How else can you explain the boats steering themselves in that trailer?

  45. shinygerbil says:

    Several!

  46. Moonracer says:

    I can only hope that one of the items you pay for as an extra feature is the companion NPC who stands behind you and cheers while you fish. You “Buy” some chick or dude, buy them clothing, dress them up, then they follow you around cheering your every action and boosting your skills or something. Would be brilliant marketing.

  47. patricij says:

    Sugoii ^_^

  48. Yargh says:

    I am mildly disappointed, having first read the game title as ‘Grand Meer Fishing’ I then visualised competing trophy rooms with Alec shaped fishies in various poses.

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