Rock, Paper, Shotgun

And finally, it’s time for the bargain bucket. Your weekly dose of cheap PC downloads. It’s slim pickings this week, but there’s still deals worth your attention, and a deviation from usual contents of the bucket towards the end. Remember to visit SavyGamer.co.uk whenever you feel like blowing some cash on some cheap games. Read the rest of this entry »

Lawyers, politicians, pilots and unreformed chauvinist meatheads: that was the week that was in the joyful province of PCgamingland. In case you’re a lazy or forgetful reader, here’s the best bits of the last seven days. All aboard!
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It’s only a render of a tank, but: it’s a render of a New Conglomerate tank! And that means PlanetSide Next has the NC tank in it. And I glean from that we are looking at a straight update/remake/relaunch with a graphics overhaul? Hmm. Something like that. The image was twitted by SOE bossman John Smedley yesterday. Okay, that’s all I got. Thanks to everyone who sent this in.

We sent RPS infiltrator Dan Griliopoulos to THQ’s UK office to play the latest Dawn Of War II expansion. What he saw contained Noise Marines, Inquisitors, and no GFWL. The game is out 4th March 2011

Everyone has a reason to be on Typhon. Eliphas the Betrayer is there to, y’know, betray stuff; Captain Diomedes of the Blood Ravens wants retribution (duh) on his traitorous Chapter Master; the Eldar are looking for something amazing buried in the planet’s surface; the Inquisition-commandeered and gloriously English Imperial Guard just do what they’re bloody well told; the Tyranids are… hungry. Well, everyone except the Freebooters. These demented Ork pirates are there because someone shot their Krooza down and because hat-fetishist Captain BludFlagg has taken a shine to the lady Inquisitor’s topper.
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In stark contrast to the usual internet drum-banging that occurs whenever a developer patches a new feature into their game, Eskil Steenberg has been growing Love- his beautiful, enigmatic, online building game- on the sly, with new features arriving simply as precious treats for the game’s existing community. As of this week, he’s dropped the price of the game to €10 for 180 days and is looking to expand his playerbase. Actually, let me phrase it another way. Eskil wants you. I met up with him for a spellbinding demonstration of what he’s added to Love, where he’s taking it and why you should be playing it.
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Hrm, we somehow missed Mount and Blade: With Fire and Sword getting announced yesterday. It’s a new Mount and Blade game! Yes it is. This time it’s set in a “new century of warfare that brings pistols, muskets, grenades, and other advanced weaponry to the battlefield.” There will also be weapon and armour customization, new economic systems, new quest types, and “ferocious” new multiplayer elements. We do not use the word “ferocious” enough. Please make a note to use it more in the future.

Hey look, I even found some footage of this game. (Cheers to Kad for heads up on this one, who also points to this… is this game already out in Eastern Europe or something? What gives?)

Here is the footage>>

We have all the Warhammer 40,000 Dawn Of War II – Retribution screenshots! ALL OF THEM. The gallery below is easily the biggest and best screenshot gallery we have ever done. All the images can be clicked on for full size, and they show Imperial Guard in action, Inquisitor inventory screens, and loads of other Imperial, Chaotic, Orkish and Tyranidical happenings from the game. We’ve got a preview coming up later too, because one of our sinister agents actually managed to play the game. More on that later. Go browse the images!
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Release dates are not a natural source of comedy. There’s a limited number of jokes you can really get out of such a mundane piece of news. I mean, I even struggled below with the DNF announcement. Although believe me, if I ever get anyone pregnant I’ll be making “release date” jokes for nine solid months. Gosh, it will be so funny. “It’s due for Q3 2013.” “We’re pushing to meet the deadline, going into beta now.” “It’s gone gold!” “Oh, wait, it looks like the baby’s slipped into next week.” “OUT NOW!”

This is not helping in communicating the news to you that Magicka, the dungeon-crawling, spell-casting action RPG from Paradox will be out on the 25th January. Why, that’s in four days! Big Download bring us that news with their Exclusive Hat firmly wedged on their heads. We’ll have a review of the game pretty damned soon too, and I’ve put that funny video from last year below, because I’m nice like that.

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In theory, naked war is always free. Why, I could take my clothes off, run into the street and start attacking someone right now, and I wouldn’t pay a penny for it. Yes, I would pay with my freedom and dignity, but I wouldn’t have to open my wallet. Which is just as well, as I left it in my trousers when I took them off to run outside naked.

What is different is that the Pickford Bros’ indie turn-based strategy game Naked War, which was a mini-sensation amongst clever folk few years back, has gone free to play.
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Focus Interactive’s forthcoming adventure The Next Big Thing, which is apparently “wacky” and set in the Golden Age of Hollywood, has a black and white parody trailer out, which you can see below. It features heroines, robots, more robots, a boxing gentleman, and Quintin having a bath (as you can see pictured above). Whether it’s actually the next big thing? Well, I would suggest: “No.” It’s the next game from Pendulo, who previously produced the Runaway series. That apparently sold a million copies. Which means something. See if you can work out what that is.
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UPDATE: Launch trailer added below! Watch it. [Eh, watching Duke Nukem trailers, that's a weird one, isn't it? -Jim]

See, even though this is real, I still don’t believe it. Your partner can’t cheat on you, lie to you, never be there for you for so many years, and then just turn over a new leaf. Who cares what’s changed? I just refuse to accept that it will happen. I can’t allow myself to be hurt again. Eurogamer report the date for a Duke Nukem Forever release date, quoting a site I daren’t link to any longer (and more because it’s bloody well playing music at me when I open it, with no obvious off switch.) It’s going to be the 3rd May for the USA, and the 6th for the rest of the world. Yeah, right, whatever.
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