By Quintin Smith on February 14th, 2011 at 10:16 am.
EDIT: So, er, the video says that Portal 2 is now available for pre-order. Except it isn’t. Hmm.
Happy Valentine’s Day! Ah yes, that one special day each year when we can unleash our love in the direction of other human beings like an intangible sledgehammer made of words and spit. You know, as opposed to all the other days of the year, when saying that you love somebody is illegal and punishable by a six months in prison. To celebrate, Valve has released a Valentine’s-themed promotional video for Portal 2. Watch it right after the jump.
FACT: No, I can’t bring myself to quote it and spoil any of the jokes. Enjoy!
14/02/2011 at 10:22 Quxxy says:
Hooray! I think I’ll go pre-order it right now!
…
Right, ok, then.
Ahem
Dear Valve,
Screw you.
Hugs, An Australian Gamer
14/02/2011 at 10:35 ColdSpiral says:
@Quxxy
Same
boatlandmass here.I’m holding out for that mythical Razer Hydra / Portal 2 bundle that none of the retailers in town have even heard of, let alone are willing to sell me.
14/02/2011 at 11:09 simonh says:
I’m assuming that as usual in Sweden it will be about £10 cheaper in retail than Steam anyway.
14/02/2011 at 17:25 Saiko Kila says:
Screw them, but with love. That’s the way.
14/02/2011 at 10:32 juandemarco says:
No preorder on Steam? WTF?
14/02/2011 at 11:25 MadTinkerer says:
For some reason they’re only offering pre-orders through retail for now. Probably because Steam is a little too successful at the moment, and Valve want their retail partners to be happy so they’ll stock the console version.
Plus there’s some kind of dealie with the optional special controller they’re working on, which is one of the few things Steam can’t do very well (how exactly are you going to download a hardware peripheral?). So In addition to Portal 2 itself, the console version of Episode 3 and other future Valve games, there’s extra reason to want to keep the retail chains happy right now.
14/02/2011 at 14:04 drewski says:
I want my complex three dimensional matter printer, and I want it now.
14/02/2011 at 14:23 Ezhar says:
Retail? Isn’t that like, with boxes in shelves? Where you need a DVD drive? They still MAKE that stuff for new games!?
14/02/2011 at 14:58 disperse says:
@drewski
Did you say 3d printer? (http://www.makerbot.com/)
14/02/2011 at 10:33 feffrey says:
They also took away the launch date…..
Something is decidedly amiss at Valve….
14/02/2011 at 10:36 ColdSpiral says:
Hold on, everyone!
We’re switching to Valve time in 3… 2… 1…
14/02/2011 at 10:48 stahlwerk says:
This clearly is the Valentine’s Day trailer that was supposed to come out 2010.
14/02/2011 at 13:43 Thermal Ions says:
Or the Valentine’s Day trailer for 2012.
14/02/2011 at 10:33 jarvoll says:
Amazing video!
Quxxy, don’t worry, there’s no way it won’t be available to pre-order on Steam in plenty of time before release.
14/02/2011 at 21:45 adonf says:
I sure hope so. I’d hate to be unable to buy it because Steam have sold all their stocks.
14/02/2011 at 10:34 JohnnyMaverik says:
Hooray! I think I’ll go pre-order it right now!
*looks on steam*
…
Nope, apparently I won’t
Eh… Valve -_- Still, awesome trailer/advert/announcement/thing
14/02/2011 at 10:39 Phinor says:
The emphasis on the video seems to be that the pre-order is available, yet it is not. I’m not sure what to think of this.
14/02/2011 at 10:40 mda says:
Geez guys the game isn’t even out yet, chell out… (see what I did there? a-ma-zing.)
Can’t wait for Portal 2 :D
Also this advert reminds me of HARD SURFACE for some reason… maybe the diamond was a hard surface.
14/02/2011 at 10:43 Andy says:
The pre-order is a Game only offer by the looks of things.
http://thinkwithportals.com/preorders.php
14/02/2011 at 11:07 Jolly Teaparty says:
That’s right http://www.game.co.uk/Games/PC-Games-and-Downloads/Shooter-First-Person/Portal-2/~r351320/?s=%22Portal+2%22
14/02/2011 at 12:28 KauhuK says:
cdon.com for Finland too? And the prices for each version is the same 49.95 euros? C’mon what the hell? No way ill be buying from cdon they dont even have free shipping. Play.com has portal 2 priced at 37.49 euros.
14/02/2011 at 10:45 Tori says:
I may be a fanboy, but a Valve release is always a big deal for me. I’ll play Portal before the day before release, make sure I have no plans on that day, prepare my girlfriend etc.
14/02/2011 at 22:26 Inglourious Badger says:
PREPARE your girlfriend?
Sounds creepy
14/02/2011 at 23:40 LionsPhil says:
He’s got to inflate her.
14/02/2011 at 10:46 coldvvvave says:
Dear Gaben.
Where is Half-Life 3?
14/02/2011 at 11:14 StranaMente says:
*Mandatory joke about Gabe weight and the absence of the game – time to let more sadness sink in*
14/02/2011 at 17:42 DeathHamsterDude says:
*Mandatory joke about Gabester pissing himself, placing random objects on and around his body, and taking a ‘nap’*
14/02/2011 at 10:48 Man Raised by Puffins says:
Follow their link, ye big silly.
14/02/2011 at 10:55 somini says:
Portal 2 is available for pre-order in the EA Store… Why??
http://eastore.ea.com/store/eaemea/pt_PT/DisplayHomePage/ThemeID.850300/ccRef.en_GB
EDIT:After all I can’t see it, but I’m not in the UK…
14/02/2011 at 11:00 mda says:
EA does distribution for valve.
14/02/2011 at 11:49 Avenger says:
…instead of Steam apparently
14/02/2011 at 11:03 JohnnyMaverik says:
Hold your horses people, it’s just been pointed out to me that Valve don’t work Sundays, and seeing as it’s still early doors in America we should see it going up for pre-order on Steam later today… should… logically, although this is Valve we’re talking about so nothing is certain….
14/02/2011 at 15:38 bob_d says:
Also, as far as Steam is concerned, 10am (Pacific time) is the beginning of the day, so…
14/02/2011 at 12:15 Qjuad says:
That is a cure advert
14/02/2011 at 18:13 Riaktion says:
No NO! Its a portal 2 advert…
14/02/2011 at 12:54 noclip says:
A new high (low?) for Valve Time. “Available now for preorder” = ???
14/02/2011 at 12:58 RagingLion says:
“Women love diamonds for their wide range of industrial applications” :) ……love it
14/02/2011 at 13:06 FiveO says:
Considering that every other ‘fact’ was a joke, the lack of pre-orders fits in perfectly.
14/02/2011 at 13:51 Dozer says:
This.
14/02/2011 at 13:54 Tori says:
That.
14/02/2011 at 13:20 My2CENTS says:
Valve works in Pacific time, so in a sense right now they aren’t even awake to start the pre-order.
14/02/2011 at 13:25 matty_gibbon says:
Awesome! You know, I have Portal, but have not yet played it to completion. I have no idea why this is. I’ll have to get on that.
Also, what does it say about me that in the still image that heads this post, I assumed that the bits jutting out of people were not waving arms, but were in fact shotguns slung over the shoulder?
14/02/2011 at 13:53 godgoo says:
At first I thought the couple kissing was a guy with a mutated head and his wang on the table
14/02/2011 at 14:11 Foosnark says:
Waiting for the TF2 hat tie-in.
14/02/2011 at 15:16 Man Raised by Puffins says:
http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Companion_Cube_Pin
14/02/2011 at 15:19 frymaster says:
there’s meant to be a portal 2 lapel pin, i believe
14/02/2011 at 14:22 Magrippinho says:
Is it wrong that this video makes me think of Theme Hospital?
14/02/2011 at 16:20 Hoaxfish says:
I wouldn’t say no to a blend of Aperture Science + SCIENCE + Evil Genius style “sim” game
14/02/2011 at 18:27 AdamT says:
To create an evil / insane computer point of view game of Portal, a sim-type game would be spot on.
I’m all for multi-genre, unified play-space games. GAME DEVELOPERS, MAKE IT SO!
Seriously!
14/02/2011 at 15:09 Chucrute says:
Is it wrong that this video makes me think of Kama Sutra?
Imagine the possibilities.
14/02/2011 at 16:22 The Army of None says:
Nope, t’was briefly entertained in my mind as well.
14/02/2011 at 16:19 Hoaxfish says:
that steady repetitive squeaking noise as the scene fades out…
portal-related intimacy
14/02/2011 at 18:46 faelnor says:
So uh. Steam preorders work now.
14/02/2011 at 18:52 Shadram says:
Seems you can preorder on Steam now. Or at least, you can here in NZ. It’s US $45, which isn’t too bad. Better than the $90 they’re asking for it at retail over here, anyway…
16/02/2011 at 17:47 mbourgon says:
Wait, $45? Part of the charm of the original was its brevity (or, alternatively, to-the-point gameplay) and its price ($20). Yeah, I’ll probably still buy it, but was hoping for less.
14/02/2011 at 18:56 Tobev says:
UK price is good – £27
EU price is horrible – €45!
14/02/2011 at 20:23 choconutjoe says:
Normally valve are quite good at getting the Euro-prices right on the their own games. Not in this case, it would seem!
14/02/2011 at 19:37 LionsPhil says:
Dear Aperture Science Sentry Gun,
1500 Megawatt Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Buttons are red,
Material Emancipation Grids are blue,
Cake is sweet,
And I see you!
Love,
Totally Not A Military Android
14/02/2011 at 20:34 Urthman says:
YAY! A WINNER IS YOU!
14/02/2011 at 19:57 TheGroovyMule says:
Portal 2 is now available for preorder on Steam…
You may now commence throwing wads of cash at Valve!
14/02/2011 at 20:17 Longrat says:
Why yes, valve, I would like to give you my money!
14/02/2011 at 21:09 Navagon says:
Well at least they can get their cute and amusing adverts out on time.
14/02/2011 at 21:19 phuzz says:
I have been planning buying a copy of Portal 2 for a couple of friends of mine.
He plays endless manshoots on the 360, while she plays flash puzzle games.
I think portal will finally be the game that gets her into being able to play an FPS, and him into sharing his console toy.
I think they’ll have a lovely time yes?
A lovely, lovely time :)
14/02/2011 at 22:54 TheGroovyMule says:
You think?
Didn’t you know?
100% of couples who participate in cooperative portal testing are still deeply in love
It’s fact!
15/02/2011 at 00:26 Bret says:
Sounds much safer than giant diamonds.
14/02/2011 at 23:43 Armante says:
Yay preorder now available (in NZ at least – GMT plus12 hrs) Not bad at US$45, which is only NZ$60. I don’t normally pre-order, but it’s practically a steal, and I may let Valve have my money. They nicely gave me Portal for free a while back, so that seems fair?
15/02/2011 at 01:30 patricij says:
34 EUR’s pre-order deal for me…not that bad, not that bad
15/02/2011 at 08:35 Tobev says:
Good – they fixed the price :)
15/02/2011 at 19:32 Wahngrok says:
It’s € 45 if you pre-order “worldwide” via steam: http://store.steampowered.com/app/620/
Strange that germany is not on the list of “participating” countries but then again if you look at the “low” price for the french pre-orders (€ 55 cheap) then I’ll pass anyway.
16/02/2011 at 00:35 Sleepymatt says:
Finally, scientific evidence of what one handed clapping actually sounds like. Thank you Valve :)
16/02/2011 at 17:29 Araxiel says:
“The only thing you manged to break so far…is my heart”