By Quintin Smith on February 27th, 2011 at 9:34 pm.
A headline perhaps better located at the top of Friday’s Thief 4 post, but whatever. Croteam have posted the first screenshot of Serious Sam 3 on their Facebook page, with more to come on Monday. My comprehensive and deranged analysis follows. WHAT could it MEAN?
Pour a drink, fellows, and join me in my digital reverie.
- RIGHT! That’s a monster behind those bars if I’ve ever seen one. Not that I’ve ever seen an actual monster. Unless you count my Uncle Charles. Anyway, look at those guns! Those look like suitably over-the-top guns for Serious Sam. I bet they’re called something awesome, like BONEMELTERS. What do you think they’re called, readers?
- Look at that thing’s face! He’s having a great time! G’wan, son!
Man. It’s like Steve Buscemi slept with a beef tomato.
- That’s Arabic script in the background. Can we deduce a real world setting, like the first Serious Sam? That was the best one. This is probably a good thing. Unless they’re making Serious Sam: Modern Warfare. Actually, that might be amazing.
- Those walls are covered in bullet holes. Is this a human/alien warzone? Is Serious Sam fighting on the frontlines of a human/alien war? Wouldn’t that basically make him Duke Nukem?
- I am now wondering what we can expect to see in and around that alien’s crotch when it turns around.
- Oh god, i’ve just given brain-birth to the worst mental image
- cannot unsee what has been unseen
What can you deduce, readers?
27/02/2011 at 21:38 wazups2x says:
I’ve been playing Serious Sam HD: SE lately because of the recent free DLC. It’s such a great game.
Serious Sam 3 will be awesome!
27/02/2011 at 21:42 Clovis says:
Hey, that monster that came through here, what did it look like?
I dunno’. Kinda’ funny lookin’.
In what way?
I dunno’. Just funny lookin’.
(Also I deduce that Serious Sam 3 will be an FMV adventure game)
27/02/2011 at 21:55 Epsz says:
So, you were having sex with the little fella, then?
27/02/2011 at 22:06 A Little Lebowski says:
More than most people even.
27/02/2011 at 21:44 jon_hill987 says:
http://www.doomwadstation.com/bestiary/mancubus.gif
That is all.
27/02/2011 at 21:55 Text_Fish says:
That was my first thought too. Maybe it’s actually a Doom 4 Shot. :D
I can dream.
27/02/2011 at 22:15 Navagon says:
More than just a passing resemblance…
27/02/2011 at 22:45 Andy_Panthro says:
Was just gonna look for a picture of that!
Ah… times like this make me want to play Doom again.
27/02/2011 at 23:11 Davie says:
He’s still hiding his crotch. This does not sate Quinns’ horrible speculation.
27/02/2011 at 23:23 Saul says:
Yeah, same thought. I have a little metal figurine of one that came with Doom 3.
27/02/2011 at 23:37 Oak says:
Very like a mancubus.
27/02/2011 at 21:44 Kaira- says:
First DNF, then SS3? It seems that the old-school mindless goody shooters are making a comeback.Or hopefully they’ll be good. Dang, I’m way beyond excited.
27/02/2011 at 22:07 faelnor says:
Though I’m dying a little everytime someone says MW2 for Modern Warfare 2 instead of MechWarrior 2 I’m usually keeping silent, but I will NOT let this one slide, System Shock 3 has NOT been announced >:(
What else could SS stand for anyway!
27/02/2011 at 22:31 mlaskus says:
Schutzstaffel?
Though Serious Sam is more likely to be what he meant.
27/02/2011 at 23:10 westyfield says:
Kinda irrelevant, but my friends and I have planned for a while to make a tribute band called SS Club 7. I don’t know why.
27/02/2011 at 23:22 Javier-de-Ass says:
the guys that did the necrovision games (ex-people can fly) are also working on a new alien shooter, called Alien Fear. should be out this year. should be suitably GOOD style of fps, not shitty fps like the stuff they make for consoles. the necrovision games were fantastic in any case. oh yeah, my avatar is from necrovision lost company even.
27/02/2011 at 22:09 Spacewalk says:
Those guns are pretty big.
28/02/2011 at 11:06 faelnor says:
Big are the guns, huge are the guts.
27/02/2011 at 22:14 faelnor says:
I feel a sudden urge to make dick jokes about that monster and Quintin’s post, especially the parts where he says “having a great time”, “bullet holes”, “alien’s crotch” and “my Uncle Charles”.
I blame Bulletstorm.
27/02/2011 at 22:14 Navagon says:
Is it just me or does that environment look highly destructible?
27/02/2011 at 22:24 Teddy Leach says:
Call of Sam: Modern Seriousness.
27/02/2011 at 22:25 JohnArr says:
The left arm is an ENTROPIC LACERATOR and the right is an APOCALYPSE HOWITZER.
27/02/2011 at 23:57 Dominic White says:
I can’t even begin to fathom the amount of Build Grist required to alchemize armament like that.
28/02/2011 at 00:37 DXN says:
All of it.
27/02/2011 at 22:26 Nighthood says:
“It’s like Steve Buscemi slept with a beef tomato.”
We need more games involving famous unattractive actors combined with fruit and vegetables.
Sylvester Stallone merged with a potato? Mickey Rourke amalgamated with a Butter-nut Squash? The possibilities are endless!
27/02/2011 at 22:34 faelnor says:
All I’ve left is a lousy Conroy Bumpus eggplant…
27/02/2011 at 22:37 Antlerbot says:
I’m pretty sure Sly Stallone’s got tuber in his genetic lineup already.
27/02/2011 at 22:38 Wilson says:
@faelnor – Hehe. Good memories.
27/02/2011 at 22:31 Om says:
I guess it means that Serious Sam 3 is in development
27/02/2011 at 23:19 Javier-de-Ass says:
hopefully they’re just throwing huge monsters into reused environments from the SERIOUS military shooter they were making.
that really does look like a headless mancubus
27/02/2011 at 23:53 Fumarole says:
Serious Same?
28/02/2011 at 00:11 wazups2x says:
I don’t get it?
28/02/2011 at 03:13 Fumarole says:
See the URL for this page.
28/02/2011 at 06:50 wazups2x says:
Ohhh, I see. Haha
28/02/2011 at 09:50 4026 says:
Impressive powers of observation. Well spotted, sir.
‘Course, I already knew of the hilarious typo, since Quinns admits his mistake here.
27/02/2011 at 23:53 Oak says:
So, I’d like to play this.
28/02/2011 at 00:19 Nullkigan says:
Isn’t this actually Serious Sam 2? I vaguely recall someone explaining to me that the second encounter was not Serious Sam 2, just the second half of the first game. An expandalone if you will.
Of course, this was several years ago and even croteam themselves have probably retconned if the above was ever true.
One to eight players, optional dedicated servers and insane amounts of enemies please!
E: Apparently there was an actual Serious Sam 2 and I didn’t do my research properly. What a fool I am!
28/02/2011 at 09:37 Fatbubba says:
And I’m an even bigger fool for going all huffy and puffy and search for Serious Sam II to show you you are wrong before reading the rest of your post…..wait, why am I admitting to this?
28/02/2011 at 00:36 Gabe McGrath says:
I want to run backwards, holding fire, again.
28/02/2011 at 05:53 mda says:
Be a man, run forwards.
28/02/2011 at 10:37 RvLeshrac says:
@mda
A dead man, even.
28/02/2011 at 01:01 Miker says:
How exactly did CroTeam keep on making money after Serious Sam II? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not questioning their abilities, but I don’t think they made any games between Serious Sam II and The First Encounter HD, and they didn’t license out their engine either. That’s a good four years without a single game on store shelves, so where did the money for Serious Sam 3 come from?
28/02/2011 at 01:19 Bungle says:
The two HD remakes generated the money that they’re using to fund this new one. I don’t know where they got the money to remake the first one.
28/02/2011 at 04:11 Bad Sector says:
After Serious Sam II they worked on a game which was cancelled. However they were paid for the development of that game.
28/02/2011 at 03:32 DigitalSignalX says:
Not excited. At all. Seriously.
28/02/2011 at 06:16 Gabe McGrath says:
I would pay 20% more for Serious Sam 3
if we got to blow away a series of “Shoesforking” spammers.
28/02/2011 at 06:19 Daiv says:
In today’s puny shooters people cower behind barrels. Not so in Serious Sam’s day. Serious Sam was all about fleeing like a terrified, heavily armed jackrabbit chased by rocket-wielding wolverines.
28/02/2011 at 06:58 bigtoeohno says:
I don’t appreciate Steve bruscemi puns.
28/02/2011 at 07:34 patricij says:
Why so seriously, Sam?
28/02/2011 at 08:23 mrwout says:
Was just playing Second Encounter LAN Co-Op yesterday :p was wondering when this one was coming.
28/02/2011 at 08:32 lord_heman says:
Oh RPS; how you always manage to make me laugh, with your excellent articles :)
Thank you!
28/02/2011 at 09:47 Casimir's Blake says:
It will mean arenas. And corridors to arenas. And pyramids, lots of pyramids. With arenas in them.
But little or no level design. Because, you know, minimalism is still so in. Meh.
(On the other hand, just maybe Croteam have taken all this time to learn from these mistakes… Serious Sam was crying out for lots of Duke 3D-style level design mayhem, but it so rarely even played with differing floor heights, let alone sniper windows!)
28/02/2011 at 11:27 bonjovi says:
The only instance that Serious Sam can have sniper windows is when most mobs will be able to climb walls.
Serious Sam wasn’t about the level design in the normal sense. It was about hordes of enemies, small and large and you running backwards trying to kill them all. you need arenas for that and big empty fields. If you implement more sophisticated level design they will need to change the the core of the game as well. And although it might make a good game, it won’t be Serious Sam any more.
28/02/2011 at 12:57 Jackablade says:
It’ll be Serious Sam 2, and we all know how that turned out.
28/02/2011 at 10:31 Shark says:
Just give us split-screen coop and the ability to play with a steering wheel again
28/02/2011 at 11:51 Jackablade says:
Money is that’s the modern incarnation of the Major Biomechanoid
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100330000228/serious/images/thumb/e/ed/Redmech_1.png/250px-Redmech_1.png
28/02/2011 at 14:04 WJonathan says:
The poor fellow’s been knocking politely on the door for an hour. Why won’t they let him in? He just wants a hot falafel!
28/02/2011 at 14:11 Cinnamon says:
Oh my god. Double gun arms on my screen. What does it mean?
28/02/2011 at 16:05 LionsPhil says:
It means the game might actually be Fun rather than An Intensely Cinematic Experience™.
28/02/2011 at 21:39 James T says:
It’s so BRIGHT, so VIVID! I can’t even capture it on my monitor.