Duke Nukem Forever PAX Video Is A Bit Rude

By Quintin Smith on March 18th, 2011 at 3:09 pm.

Are ladies in the real world like this? We just don't know.

A bit rude, but not very rude, almost as if the trailer was carefully edited to imply rudeness while being shown at a trade show where there are minors around. The end result is something a bit like the daydream of a tiny boy who knows that boobs are awesome, but the specifcs elude him. Take a look and see what I mean.

That vibrator is pretty funny, mind. Are vibrators in games the new toilets in games? The next Deus Ex could only benefit.

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116 Comments »

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  1. Benny says:

    All i can picture now is JC Denton walking into Anna’s private room, lockpicking that secure footlocker and… i dont really think i wana touch that.

  2. dadioflex says:

    After fifty years or however long it was, can’t say I’m impressed by what I just saw.

    • donmilliken says:

      I think it looks like solid fun, I don’t really ask for much more than that. Also, to be fair, the game we’re getting didn’t really take 12 years to make. 3DRealms started over from scratch a few times. At most the game we’ll be playing, between 3DRealms’ work on it and Gearbox’s, probably took about five or six years.

    • BAReFOOt says:

      I saw some shooting, some more shooting, some pubescent boy humour, some boss shooting, some more pubescent boy humour.

      So basically it’s just a graphics update, with the same stuff from Duke3D 1. Unfortunately I don’t go to school anymore or laugh when I hear a sex-related double-entendre. Because after a decade, it became stale. And then another decade passed by.

      So you can imagine how excited I … *SNORE* (*head falls on table*)

      Then again, if I were a pubescent boy, and this were the first shooter I could play… oh boy! Porn, manly manliness and action in one thing? MOAR!

    • vodkarn says:

      “At most the game we’ll be playing, between 3DRealms’ work on it and Gearbox’s, probably took about five or six years.”

      AND Piranha!

    • Premium User Badge

      lurkalisk says:

      @BAReFOOt

      Then you are unlike the majority, it seems.

      I can’t imagine what the appeal is in attempting to live up to the puritan ideal of adulthood…

    • donmilliken says:

      @lurkalisk

      The desire to be adult is one of the major marks of adolescence.

      Ultimately, it is more adult to accept that you enjoy sophomoric humor and that there’s nothing wrong with that than it is to distance yourself from such things to prove how “mature” you are.

    • Shazbut says:

      *comment removed by author because he doesn’t want to provoke more debate*

  3. Jonathan says:

    If I owned a vibrator that did that I wouldn’t put it near any lady parts.

    • triple omega says:

      You’d keep it all to yourself eh? What a shame. Share the love!

    • bleeters says:

      Well, it is nuclear powered.

    • BAReFOOt says:

      Maybe it has a double eccentric rotator, allowing for wave modulation. In other words: Waves within waves. That would explain the hops.

      Now who’s the first to make a vibrator play music? (And who’s the first noticing he just said he owns a vibrator? ;)

    • stele says:

      Thank you for not spelling it nucular.

  4. Creeping Death says:

    Whoever is delivering Duke’s lines sounds like he really cant be assed…

    In fact, the feeling of “cant be assed” is all I take away from this video…Why should I care about this game? :/

    ….Can we stop talking about it now?

    • TotalBiscuit says:

      It’s the same guy and it sounds pretty much the same as it did in Duke 3D.

      But then that would require people to take off both their rose-tinted spectacles and their ‘hate everything new’ earphones.

    • 7rigger says:

      I got a new pair of ‘hate everything new’ headphones.

      I hate them >:(

    • Teddy Leach says:

      For once, I agree with Mr. Biscuit. You silly people.

    • qrter says:

      Yes, because when you say ‘anything new’ the first thing I think of is Duke Nukem.

    • Creeping Death says:

      @Total Biscuit, You are assuming I liked the original Duke games.

      I did not.

    • Premium User Badge

      FriendlyFire says:

      Then just avoid anything about Duke Nukem and let those who enjoy the game enjoy it. It’s simple, really!

    • donmilliken says:

      I guess I’m confused then Creeping Death, if you don’t want to talk about this game, then why are you talking about it?

      Ignoring articles about games you aren’t interested in ain’t complicated, you know.

    • Chalky says:

      @Creeping Death
      Then why are you having such a hard time realising that this game probably isn’t going to be your thing and you should perhaps not read articles about it?

    • manveruppd says:

      Cease your blasphemy! John St John is a voiceover god! Legend has it he sewed his jaw together using piano wire during the recording sessions for DN3D to achieve Duke’s trademark gritted teeth, constipated growl, and fed only on raw steak and liver fed through a blender and sucked through a straw for the entire duration of the sessions!

    • CrazyBaldhead says:

      @donmilliken: Just because he doesn’t like Duke Nukem doesn’t mean that he cannot voice his opinion.

    • Creeping Death says:

      @FriendlyFire, donmilliken, Chalky;
      Because I’m having a really dull day and am free to post my opinion on anything I want?

      Which I assume is the same reason you guys took time to reply to me in the first place :P

    • TotalBiscuit says:

      Hmm, an article about a series I don’t like? Would it be reasonable to just ignore it? Absolutely not, I’D BETTER LAMBAST PEOPLE WITH MY DUMB OPINIONS!

    • Bhazor says:

      It sounds like the original alright. Unfortunately the original sounded like crap.
      This sounds like it was originally recorded and compressed for the N64 or a early nineties FMV game. Given this is DNF I have to assume that’s exactly what happened.

    • Creeping Death says:

      @TotalBiscuit you know you sound like an absolute asshole right? Don’t worry though, I hear that happens to alot of people on the internet.
      Seriously though, you don’t like my opinion. That’s fine. I still have a right to voice it and nobody is holding a pistol to your head forcing you to respond.

      Also, I’m hardly the first person to be negative about this. Why don’t you drag your soapbox over to them instead?

    • CrazyBaldhead says:

      Wow, and I used to think TotalBiscuit was a nice person. Maybe his account was hijacked by his evil brother, TotalDouchebag?

    • sidhellfire says:

      @Creeping Death, you’re not the only one who does not like it. You’re probably the only one who actually gives a damn to comment it. I’m hype-resistant and just let those poor games in big boxes pass by. People need to learn how to distinguish a game worth buying. If anyhow this game will have a memorable quotes, you’ll listen them whether you play the game, or not. And sadly, whether you actually want to hear them or not. I’m still wondering though how the marketeers are able to convince people, that even after buying and playing shitty game, players still thing this is a quality product.

    • 7rigger says:

      @Creeping Death

      “Because I’m having a really dull day and am free to post my opinion on anything I want?”

      Translation: Because I am a troll, and you fed me!

  5. VA1N says:

    The video just seemed a bit too much all over the place. Didn’t seem very cohesive.

  6. bleeters says:

    Er, right.

    I’ll be over here playing Bulletstorm, then.

  7. JohnnyMaverik says:

    “The next Deus Ex could only benefit.”

    Just no -_-

    In fact just no to Duke Nukem Forever in general.

  8. Bilbo says:

    Well, as is to be expected, that thing is showing its age. It looks like old, mistreated prison ass.

    • LionsPhil says:

      The black-with-shiny-bits graphics look worse (and worse for gameplay) than the old flat-lit 2.5D sprites.

      The turn-the-vibrator-on-with-your-mind powers are worse than the 2001 DNF E3 trailer which, amazingly, actually had Duke’s hand show up on screen when he used things in the environment.

      And Jon St Jon seems to be completely phoning it in as much as everyone else.

      So it’s actually managed to go backwards.

    • Dominic White says:

      Yeah, that kinda stood out to me, too. One of the cooler things on show in that ancient, ancient build of the game was that you’d be interacting more physically with the environment. Not only have they lost that, but they’ve somehow made it look slightly less tactile than back in Duke3D.

      What the hell happened?

  9. Soon says:

    It’s missing some music.

  10. Daniel Klein says:

    Yeah, I am super excited for Duke (mostly for reasons of nostalgia, I’ll admit), but this was just awkward.

  11. fuggles says:

    Just to buck the trend I’m looking forward to it. Large monsters, starship troopers references, good shotgun noises – why the heck not?

    • Red_Avatar says:

      Well I must be mad too, because I love it. It looks like pure classic gameplay with all the crappy modern FPS stuff like regenerating health, tons of scripted sequences and being held by the hand from start to finish.

    • Metonymy says:

      Red Avatar: and lets not forget “weapons that aren’t machine guns and grenades” and “enemies that aren’t shooting machine guns and grenades” and “environments that aren’t the CNN war report featuring machine guns and grenades.”

      God, just for some environment variety, anything that isn’t some horrible attempt to recreate the real world, I will play this game. But if we also have pigcops, shrink rays, plasma guns, and the possibility to play the game without some moron telling you where to go next, I will be ecstatic.

    • Red_Avatar says:

      Definitely – the strength of Duke, was in the cool real life locations that felt fresh like strip clubs, movie theatres, book stores, banks, etc. How many FPS games do that? Most are set in a dull sewer or a warehouse or some other duller-than-dull location. Wow, yet another town with bullet-perforated cars and houses, yawn. Give me a nice cool city with lots of stuff to shoot and kill, stores to enter, hotels to explore – and that’s what Duke Nukem 3D was.

  12. Bugg says:

    The gameplay itself looks a little weird, and all their “humor” is in the form of rehashed concepts without the addition of anything that’s genuinely funny.

    Duke Nukem 3D borrowed from a lot of sources, but managed to be creative. This time around, I’m not seeing the creativity. They seem too serious about being tongue in cheek.

  13. geldonyetich says:

    Lest we forget, Duke Nukem is all about explody over-the-top FPS fun, something we’ve not seen particularly often outside of Painkiller. This video suggests to me that Gearbox is on course to deliver.

    • Teddy Leach says:

      This. This. THIS.

    • Axyl says:

      agreed on all counts. :)

    • JohnnyMaverik says:

      Fun is overrated… as was Painkiller. **runs away before the flaming begins**

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Get him! RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

    • jonfitt says:

      Bet on Duke? Bet on Sam more like.

    • Sweedums says:

      @jonfitt

      I agree, much prefer the Serious Sam games (was going to call them SS games then but realised it might be understood wrong)

      Duke Nukem kinda made sense when i played it on the PS1 because I was like 9 (my parents totally didn’t know)…. it just seems like i’ve grown up, while Duke really hasn’t, but hey, to each his own i guess.

  14. ZenArcade says:

    Am I wrong in thinking that Duke 3D was always meant as a satire and parody of macho action heroes? Why is this game taking it in to the dreaded realm of fratboy humour then? Not a hint of piss-taking or satire at all. Uuuungh. I didnt think you could really dumb down duke but it looks like they’re giving it a good go..

    • Premium User Badge

      drewski says:

      It may have been, but from everything I’ve seen of DNF, it hits *exactly* the same tone, so either both are, or neither are, in my opinion.

      Of course, YMMV.

    • LionsPhil says:

      It’s making me think of what happened to the Leisure Suit Larry series.

      That’s really not a good thing for the newer game.

  15. jonfitt says:

    I’ve not watched the video with sound, but bit where he points guns at two women and then from the look of it they get it on, seems like some twisted rape porn.
    Blergh.

    • Grape Flavor says:

      omg misogynism! someone call keiron so we can discuss this issue.

  16. Nick says:

    Those are the same gun sounds they used in Borderlands.

  17. Jake says:

    Starship Troopers joke, that gets it a few points in my book.

  18. Axyl says:

    “You wanna touch it…don’t you?”

    I’m still lol’ing now :D

  19. Nim says:

    This sequence of pictures with accompanying hearing experience reminds me of a rehash of the content covered by the video previews posted last month. As such there is no new content contained herein whatsoever and that fact alone may be responsible for this line of reader input, dipped in sauce that clearly have been left out of the freezer overnight and spiced with a great excess of salt and pepper, that we are currently witnessing.

    • Nim says:

      Indeed. The video in question is posted by Ign, simply browsing through ign’s video previews looking for Dnf will yield the following video:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFduts6Cp_g

      Now, the astute viewer will notice that the videos are practically equal in content, but cut in different manner, likewise will that viewer also notice the lack of quality in the latest video, compared to the old one. That viewer will also share my predicament when I wonder why a lower-quality gray dull game-play video is released that is a complete rehash of an earlier video albeit uglier or perhaps worse, depict little of interest. If we however direct our attention to the graphical qualities of the previous trailer (not the aural commentary mind you) we discover that there ought to be little to fear.

      Also
      This reader has spent the late afternoon and early evening in a sound-prohibited environment and thus could not listen to the accompanying sounds.

  20. kikito says:

    Boobs are awesome.

  21. Baines says:

    It is kind of sad seeing a brightly colored Duke in the mirror, in an otherwise bland grey and brown world fighting generic grey and brown enemies. Its like a time traveler from the 90s fell into a generic modern FPS.

    Overall, it makes the whole thing a “meh” for me. Yes, they “updated” the mechanics to modern standards, even if I’d rather have a whole arsenal of weapons with me. But it just *looks* so much like a generic modern title. It needs color. It needs brightness. Even if we are stuck with all the modern FPS mechanics, at least give us a color set from the past. When the grey/black suited guys were jumping out of the black doorway of the grey hovering ship, and I couldn’t even really tell what they were (other than humanoid) because everything was some shade of grey? Sigh.

    • Bhazor says:

      This.

      I had the same feeling when I first saw the new Sam 3 shots. Colour in a shooter is officially dead I guess. Thanks Gears of War.

  22. konrad_ha says:

    This is mind-boggingly awesome! Also, I’m writing this comment in 1999.

  23. earthfx says:

    Graphics are so bad.

  24. woodsey says:

    Besides the lesbians, that looks pretty terrible. In all aspects.

  25. DuckSauce says:

    Looks like just another shooter to me. Overhyped says it all.

  26. leeder krenon says:

    looks like a console game.

  27. mbp says:

    Its….

    Its……

    Duke

    Jetpacking aliens and ripper and all!

  28. coldvvvave says:

    Its like I’m in 2004 again.

  29. Premium User Badge

    Sagan says:

    Watching the fight against the big monster, circle strafing it and shooting rockets, actually made me a bit nostalgic. I am a bit interested in this game.

  30. Hmm-Hmm. says:

    At least it’s not the drab horror like, say, Quake was. I’m not expecting much from DNF, but as long as it contains interesting locales, weapons and enemies and fun gameplay.. that’ll do.

  31. Tacroy says:

    You know what I just thought of?

    They should scrap the current Duke engine again and re-base it off of Bulletstorm. Except with, you know, lesbians.

  32. Radiant says:

    If the bar for smart dumb + super set pieces is set by Bullet Storm where does this leave DNF?
    Also please developers: use silky smooth mouse tracking [and not a control pad] when showing off your game.

  33. BobsLawnService says:

    Cheesy, childish, over-the-top, childish, (Have I mentioned childish?) science fiction shooter fun. I’m starting to realise how much I’ve missed the Duke after all these years. This should be fun.

  34. killmachine says:

    by just looking at the comment count, the duke seems not as anticipated as one would expect.

    i personally was a huge fan of duke3d. it was actually the first shooter i played on the pc. it was even one of the first games i ever played on the pc.

    i was very much looking forward to duke nukem forever, but all the hype went down after that other studio (i cant even recall the name currently) bought the duke licence and will finish the game. to me it just doesnt feel like the duke even though much of the assets were taken from 3drealms.

    back to the comment count… the news about the crysis2 leak had 460comments in 3-4 days (i actually looked that up here). thats a lot i guess. and this is fu…. duke nukem forever. not much going on here. its just some never seen before footage!!11!!1 but not as many comments as one would expect.

    why do you think that is? are leak messages more exciting in generel than a game that has been in development for 12 years and is called duke nukem forever? or why isnt the duke not as interesting as it was when it was still in development by 3drealms? is it actually or is it just me?

    • Grygus says:

      I think the lack of vocal anticipation is to be expected. The FPS community was a lot smaller then; most people who are gamers now did not play the first game, and so have no special reason beyond simple curiosity to pay attention. Among the people who did play the first game, I think most of them are either cautiously optimistic and awaiting real reviews, or have undergone major lifestyle changes (went to college, graduated, got married, had children) and are no longer interested at all. If the initial reviews are positive, I expect it to sell very well. It won’t break any CoD records or anything, but I think more people are at least willing to check it out than the comments can indicate.

    • Grape Flavor says:

      I think most of it is that the RPS community thinks of themselves as being “serious”, “original”, “mature”, and “sophisticated”. i.e. “We’re not like those other gamers”, who just want mindless action and sex. Duke is the pure opposite of such sophisticated things, even though the game is in fact a self-consious exaggeration of crass and immature stereotypes.

      Basically my impression of RPS readerbase (based on years of evidence), is that there’s an awful lot of skeevy pretentious hipsters trying to impress people/themselves with how (insert X) they are. Showing their distaste for Duke is a good opportunity for them to up their cred in this regard (although you’d think they’d pretend to like it to be “ironic”). If Duke 3 is a quirky art-school indie platformer with (psuedo- or otherwise) profound ruminations on life and the nature of reality, Gearbox might have a chance to win them back, though. But I wouldn’t bet on it.

    • Premium User Badge

      drewski says:

      You can’t get much less sophisticated than my friends (and, to some extent, me as well) and even then, most of us just don’t care about DNF apart from train crash potential.

      I doubt it’s an RPS thing. I just think Duke Nukem was a hero for an age that no longer exists; and whilst it’ll be fun for a little bit seeing how crass the game turns out to be, nobody *really* cares all that much.

    • Grape Flavor says:

      @Drewski
      I don’t truly care that much either tbh. If it gets decent reviews I’ll probably buy it eventually just to see it, but it’s hardly on my Top Anticipated. Just opining how Duke doesn’t fit with some of RPSers mindsets.

      And I didn’t mean to imply there’s anything wrong with being sophisticated. I sometimes come across as anti-intellectual or whatever, but I am anti -psuedo-intellectual AKA pretentious hipsters and pompous academics. Something of a hate-obsession of mine. It’s a distinction I don’t mind expounding on but it’s quite off topic for this thread. ;)

  35. CrazyBaldhead says:

    I CAEM. Also, the sound effects are horrid.

  36. BunnyPuncher says:

    This looks terrible.

  37. ezekiel2517 says:

    Well, the light machine gun sounds are the same as the ones from DoW2…

  38. pipman3000 says:

    it’d have to turn me into a 14 year old before i could enjoy duke nukem again.

    • Nick says:

      Its not sophistacted enough to make horse porn jokes so doesn’t appeal to you?

    • pipman3000 says:

      ^^^ great post ^^^

      sorry for joking about your vidya gaem religion :(

    • Nick says:

      Just pointing out the hypocrisy. You scoff that you’d have to be juvenile to enjoy this whilst making equally juvenile comments elsewhere. Also amusing that you felt the need to put “great post”, like you contribution was so stellar.

  39. WJonathan says:

    Is that Diedrich Bader voicing Duke?

  40. somedude says:

    This trailer made me wonder if this game is actually some sort of perverse art game, where the finished product is simply Duke Nukem locked in a dressing room somewhere, looking mournfully at his reflection in the mirror, staring in mute silence as the only other sound in the room emanates from the creepily out-of-place vibrator with the Nukem logo on it meandering lazily about on the table below. This is the entire game, a sad requiem for the death of classic FPS gaming. It almost seems plausible, as the trailer seems to indicate that they put in far more time on the physics of the vibrator’s motion than on any of the other displayed aspects of the game.

    I would also imagine, if that did indeed happen, would garner the game far more coverage and discussion on RPS than it would otherwise.

    • Wulf says:

      … *cracks up.*

    • Bhazor says:

      If there’s no option to replace Duke’s oneliners with carefully selected Virginia Woolf* quotes then I will be very disapointed.
      “Lines slip easily down the accustomed grooves. The old designs are copied so glibly that we are half inclined to think them original, save for that very glibness.”
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      *I mean you would though, wouldn’t you?

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      Mod waiting to happen. :)

    • terry says:

      So DNF is the “Dinner Date” of FPS? You might be onto something..

  41. World One Two says:

    Incredible. A pituitary meat-head, able to eviscerate mega aliens at the drop of a hat, looking strangely lost and vulnerable when confronted with the modern face of feminine sexuality. WHICH IS, LIKE, SO TELLING OF OUR ENTIRE INDUSTRY.

  42. Generico says:

    If Duke Nukem were a real person, he’d be that creepy 40 year old guy that won’t stop wearing parachute pants and inviting himself to college parties. Seriously Duke, the world has passed you by. Teen lesbians just aren’t that edgy anymore. We need alien teen lesbians with no shirts, at the very least.

    The lack of Fox News coverage for this game tells me that it will not be worthy of its title. If it were, those idiots would be having a stroke right now.

  43. gwathdring says:

    I realize there are lots of people looking forward to this, but I still don’t entirely understand the appeal of a sequel to a game that came out AGES ago and is available currently through digital stores and such for repeated play. I mean … when I really love a game, I play it a bunch and then leave it alone for a while until I maybe pick it up again and replay it. Same with books. Does everything good need a sequel? I guess I also never really liked Duke Nukem so that’s an additional part of the appeal that’s lost on me. Parts of the video made it look extremely … current. Pretty graphics and large-ish looking set pieces. And maybe there’s a decent game in there. But for the most part it looks pretty bland. Sometimes bland games are mindlessly fun, especially shooty ones, but I can get loads of mindlessly fun shooty games that aren’t called Duke Nukem.

    Maybe when it comes out someone can point to whatever makes this game special. As far as I can tell, just the name.

  44. Flakfizer says:

    It just needs a few more years…

  45. saladin says:

    Watching that trailer brought to mind Soldier of Fortune: Payback.

    A soul-less, artless sequel rehashing old ideas and jokes best left with a game from another era.

  46. terry says:

    The only way this could underwhelm me any more is if it showed a cover system.

  47. RegisteredUser says:

    Less lesbians, more guns allowed to be carried please.

  48. Premium User Badge

    lowprices says:

    Ah lesbians, the most pathetic of straight guy fantasies. If they are lesbians, then YOU certainly aren’t going to be involved.

    Also, watching DNF footage always puts me in mind of Guns n Roses “Chinese Democracy” Album. Can’t think why…

  49. Gvaz says:

    This looks dumb.

  50. Triangulon says:

    I may be much older that when I originally played DN but unlike many of the other commentators here I honestly long for the odd opportunity to revisit my childhood. My adult life is like a rubbish version of the Sims where all I get to do is grind away for 8 hours a day in order to loot enough coins to pay my mortgage. What’s wrong with enjoying some time with some ridiculous guns, boobs and knob jokes?