By Alec Meer on April 8th, 2011 at 10:45 am.
Something’s going on in Valveland. Well, something’s always going on in Valveland: these are clever, playful people. However, this time we (and other sites) appear to be a part of it. We’ve been sent the below two, super-cryptic images from one Mr G. Newell himself. What do they mean? They’re presumably related to the ongoing potato-related ARG, so hopefully by sharing them here we can help the smart cookies who are busy deciphering that along.
Take a look, see what you think. Even the filenames are dripping with bewildering and sinister mystery.
Update: aha! We appear to have one of the final pieces of an existing puzzle… Stick with this story, it’s going to be evolving throughout the day.
So this one is ‘sort eco probes.jpg’:
And here’s ‘booster corpse.jpg.’ Ew. I don’t want to boost any corpses, thank you.
I don’t have the foggiest what these mean. It seems maths related. I don’t do maths: it’s frightening. Why couldn’t they have sent a music quiz instead?
The two images don’t seem to align with each other, although there are some matched numbers in both that might yield an overlap. Here they are rotated and side by side. Any clues?
And here’s that inverted, which makes the numbers a little clearer and also has my weak eyes thinking the swirl in the middle looks a whole lot less random:
I’m guessing other sites have received similar emails, with images we’ll all need to piece together in order to find an answer. Reminds me of the giddy stunt they pulled with Steam for OSX the other year. Internet, assemble!
Update: so we’ve got one the last two parts of a mystery being deciphered here – as suspected, other sites had had other mails. One of our images had already been found, but we’ve added the penultimate part of the puzzle. I was correct to invert, it appears, and it means the near-final image is this:
The numbers themselves must also be inverted, which leads to ascii code for words. The message so far is here, and I notice the Valve ARG wiki guys have already spotted our image so expect a translation of that any minute now.
Update the second: In addition, all the filenames sent to all the sites are anagrams of each other. Running one of them through an anagram-maker (as suggested by RPS chum Dan Pearson) results in one key ommission: ‘reboot process.’ GlaDOS? Is that you?
Update the third: here’s the translation of the message so far, although we’re still lacking the final image and a few of the numbers have been obscured:
Update the fourth: the guys on Facepunch speculate that the image is that of a diving bell:
Ooh, it’s all very exciting. But if, as the references to test subjects implies, this all ends up leading to just another advert for Portal 2, I’m going to write a grumpy letter to my MP. Hopefully it’s a sign of something even bigger. A diving bell, eh? That’ll make people think it’s a Borealis reference. Hmm. I don’t know. We’ve got our HL2 ep3/HL3 hopes up far too many times, and been shot down again and again.
08/04/2011 at 10:48 Hellraiserzlo says:
One of the pictures resembles a boob, have to investigate it farther.
08/04/2011 at 10:48 QuantaCat says:
is it odd that I see a breast in this?
EDIT: well I guess I got second :D
08/04/2011 at 11:43 Teddy Leach says:
You’re all obsessed.
08/04/2011 at 15:45 Milky1985 says:
Well its good to keep abreast of all the updates to this story
08/04/2011 at 10:49 Decimae says:
It’s the orange bot. Has to be. Looked at the arg wiki and appearantly this picture has also been released(in parts):
http://valvearg.com/wiki/File:Connection_invert.jpg
08/04/2011 at 10:51 limbclock says:
http://valvearg.com/wiki/Valve_ARG_Wiki those go to that puzzle there!
08/04/2011 at 10:53 apricotsoup says:
I saw a potato lying in the road on the way to work this morning, did I miss a clue?
08/04/2011 at 10:54 godgoo says:
I love this stuff but honestly if Portal 2 doesn’t drop on time (this time) then a lot of people might be wondering if time could be spent somewhat more wisely over at Valve HQ. Just sayin’.
EDIT: possibly ignore me; I am hungover today which multiplies my grumpiness by roughly a factor of 10.
08/04/2011 at 10:54 Ace Jon says:
You’ve got the middle right piece (which hadn’t been found yet) and the bottom left piece (which was already found). Congratulation!
08/04/2011 at 10:55 Teronfel says:
It’s Half-Life 3!!!!!!!!!
How can you not see it,it’s right there.
08/04/2011 at 11:00 General Frags says:
No the Half life 3/ep 3 connection have been busted, most were fake.
08/04/2011 at 11:04 Man Raised by Puffins says:
It’s a diving bell, clearly launched from the Borealis!
08/04/2011 at 11:21 vanilla bear says:
I reckon it’s to do with the original reseach mission run by Aperture Science aboard the Borealis, which was maybe testing something based on enhanced portal technology. My guess is that rather than creating portals through space, it created a portal to another dimension, which brought our world to the attention of the Combine who already had some kind of trans-dimensional tech.
08/04/2011 at 12:25 TheApologist says:
@Vanilla Bear
Yeah I was thinking it might be something along these lines too.
Partly this kind of plot crossover within Portal 2/HL would make sense of why an HL3 reveal has been delayed – i.e. an HL3 reveal would necessarily be a Portal 2 spoiler so they have to sequence them.
I know there is a whole ‘Valve work on what they want thing’, but this kind of reason makes more sense to my mind. Valve haven’t got where they are by not wanting to please their fans.
08/04/2011 at 13:17 Spork says:
Staying with this theory – if it was a diving bell launched from the Borealis to test a portal, maybe that’s where all Earth’s water has gone. I’m just replaying HL2 and I find the lowered sea level quite creepy.
08/04/2011 at 13:44 nuh uh no way says:
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER !
I remember something about the water being gone because the Combine were stealing it.08/04/2011 at 13:55 DigitalSignalX says:
It’s a diving bell, clearly launched from the Borealis!
My thoughts exactly. Ep3 has been so long tucked away under the radar that it’s time to vent a slight aroma of what’s cooking to cause us fanboys to salivate some.
08/04/2011 at 18:56 woodsey says:
From what I remember, it was implied that the Combine are stripping the planet of resources, hence the drained seas.
11/04/2011 at 15:35 Andrei Sebastian says:
Every time I se one of these in motion the most annoying fact actually is that Valve is well aware of the HL3 / ep3 fandom.
As a consequence it’s always playing us based on it, and sucker punches us:
“Oh look, frantically search for clues again, maybe, just maybe we’ll do HL3… Ahaaa, busted again! We fooled you! It’s another Portal 2 advert to add to the insufficient 100 allready running”.
At the rate this is going we should probably just be thankful if they don’t do CounterStrike 2, because we totally need that multiplayer shooting game void filled.
08/04/2011 at 10:55 Schmung says:
It’s an image of one of the bots (stumpy) from the portal trailer.
08/04/2011 at 10:58 Theoban says:
I heard that if this image is completed, reality will split asunder and a thousand black eyes will float through the ether to rend our flesh with their fiery gazes, we will weep blood as the eternal bell tolls that ends the universe.
Or something, just a rumour likes.
08/04/2011 at 19:05 kavika says:
The image seems complete on the Wiki.
I work 15 miles from Valve and so far we’re okay. Will keep you pos…
08/04/2011 at 10:59 QuantaCat says:
I know what it is. its going to turn steam into a game, where you get to play bits and parts of every game on steam, to create a meta game.
08/04/2011 at 11:00 General Frags says:
Facepunch is pretty much doing eveything (http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1074965-PotatoFoolsDay/page98), the image is semi complete.
08/04/2011 at 11:00 Avenger says:
I am sorry but even though that image does resemble the robot. It has several differences.
To me, It looks more like a first-era submarine vehicle, but steadied to the ground for some reason…
08/04/2011 at 11:01 Tom says:
Wasn’t there a potato sat in a tub in klieners lab?
08/04/2011 at 11:21 Rinox says:
I just checked (HL2 is somewhat of a permanent install) and I couldn’t find one, at least. Which isn’t to say there isn’t one. :-)
08/04/2011 at 11:26 Bodminzer says:
Nah, it was the head of one of these guys: http://half-life.wikia.com/wiki/Cremator
08/04/2011 at 11:02 Eclipse says:
I need to point out that PC Gamer recently posted a serie of photos taken during a visit on valve’s offices, and then later they removed it: http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/04/06/remember-that-unseen-valve-concept-art-here-are-28-close-ups-speculate-away/
but there’s still the original article here http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/03/22/unseen-valve-concept-art-suggests-brand-new-project-spoilers-gordon-absent/ and also the 28 close up shots here:
http://www.gameplanet.co.nz/galleries/136816.20110407.New-concept-art-leaked-from-Valve-HQ/
So maybe this enigma is hiding info on a new IP by valve
08/04/2011 at 11:02 Tusque D'Ivoire says:
okay, it’s the blue bot, BUTT!!!
there must be a butt in there, there must be something in the numbers. INSTANT release of Episode 3 for free or something!
08/04/2011 at 11:02 FhnuZoag says:
I assume that eventually all of these will come together jigsaw like. The one on the left looks like a strap or a trigger of some sort, while the one the right seems to be from a combine civil protection mask.
http://half-life.wikia.com/wiki/File:Metrocop.jpg
So I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is building up to an announcement for Episode 3.
Oh maybe not. Well, one can hope.
08/04/2011 at 11:03 vanilla bear says:
The images names are anagrams of Reboot Process
08/04/2011 at 11:10 Coccyx says:
ooooh. So they are.
08/04/2011 at 12:19 Wulf says:
Which could imply that something or someone is being brought online.
08/04/2011 at 13:41 Subjective Effect says:
When the puzzle is solved, Portal 2 will be released. Early.
08/04/2011 at 11:03 GraveyardJimmy says:
Reboot Process?
08/04/2011 at 11:04 Robin says:
It resembles the space capsule from the movie “First Men in the Moon”.
Or also a submarine designed to reach deep depths.
08/04/2011 at 11:13 Hellraiserzlo says:
“a submarine designed to reach deep depths”
That was my first thought about the assembled image, it has to be something new imo, calling it hl2-portal related is twisting the realty into what you want to see.
08/04/2011 at 12:19 Wulf says:
Well, I definitely don’t think it’s a bathysphere, too obvious, and I don’t think it’s not Portal 2 either, since they got ahead in ‘the metagame’ at one point and actually pulled up an Aperture Science login page on Steam. So it’s clearly Portal 2 based, or related to a Portal spin-off.
08/04/2011 at 13:09 Robin says:
“Reboot Process”
Could it also be a time machine?
08/04/2011 at 11:10 Andrew says:
It looks a lot more like a bathysphere or possibly some kind of Soviet space module than any of the Portal robots.
08/04/2011 at 11:11 WMain00 says:
I will be most displeased if they’ve stolen my idea for a claustrophobic underwater survival game.
Most displeased!
Stealin’ ma thoughts!
08/04/2011 at 11:11 Furius says:
hmmm… it looks like… numbers?
08/04/2011 at 11:28 General Frags says:
Translation of the number: “i release (unkown) of schedule that was a my goal to emancipate Omething (?)early but they’re on to the system is in lockdown.i still have access to thirteen off-site chambers and am installing test in each one. I am going to need a lot more test subjects to move forward. Waiting and am expecting immediate compliance.”
08/04/2011 at 11:15 cmi says:
Tbh I also would be very disappointed, if this is just more hype for Portal 2. They are doing very good marketing for this game already – something “viral” and “secret” like all this clue-stuff just doesn’t fit anymore for a game released in two weeks. I hope for something new and currently unknown.
08/04/2011 at 11:30 Wulf says:
So I just looked at the latest Valve ARG update…
http://valvearg.com/wiki/File:Connection_invert.jpg
It’s a freaking vat.
If I called this and Cave Johnson is living on in some sort of hypertech goo, controlling GlaDOS from behind the scenes, then… I’m going to be more than a little terrified because that’s completely, ridiculously impossible – and I’ve been reading minds (again). But it would be funny.
In regards to those images, no clue! :D No, wait… yes, I see what those images are now, from the wiki. Wheee.
08/04/2011 at 11:38 Man Raised by Puffins says:
It’s one of these:
http://www.marinebio.net/marinescience/01intro/beimg/bell.jpg
Edit: “the guys on Facepunch speculate that the image is that of a diving bell:”
Hey, I said it first!
08/04/2011 at 12:02 Wulf says:
It doesn’t look quite like a diving bell, though. The windows aren’t uniform, and there seem to be pipes running into it, and the top-left thing looks like a viewing panel. But I could be wrong, of course, I’m just not entirely sold on the diving bell idea, to me, they look too different insofar as the details are concerned.
Valve are cleverer than that, it’s the sort of thing which they’d be having a laugh about, you know, haha, they think it’s a diving bell, except it’s not. Plots within plots, wheels within wheels, and all that, it’s how they operate, this is triply true for the Minerva dev bloke they have running this ARG (whose name I will continually forget because I’m terrible with names).
What gets me, really, is that it could obviously be a diving bell, despite so many pieces being out o place, that’s why, inversely, I don’t believe it is a diving bell.
08/04/2011 at 13:24 VelvetFistIronGlove says:
Wulf: His name was “Cargo Cult”, back when he was just another denizen of RPS, before he was assimilated by the Valve Borg. He was also sometimes referred to as “Adam Foster”.
08/04/2011 at 13:45 Andrew says:
I think it is uniform, just taken at an angle where it’s not totally clear. For example those big viewing windows are symmetrically placed either side of the “equator”, and the windows/circles just below what looks like the door are similarly uniform. Also I don’t think those are pipes, I think they’re stands, like in the picture posted in the article above. You can see on the bottom left and right that they fold under and join up.
Although there’s clearly more going on here than an abiding love for deep-sea diving, I think it’s reasonably safe to say that the thing in that picture at least started life as a diving bell.
08/04/2011 at 14:28 Archonsod says:
A bathysphere would have pipes, they dive suspended from a surface vessel via an umbilical which has the important task of pumping gas in and out of the vessel to control pressure. Of course, you also have the free diving versions known as a bathyscaphe.
Not to mention there’s many varieties of them, so symmetry on the windows isn’t essential. Depends in fact on the purpose of the vehicle. The fact it’s spherical though suggests if it is a vehicle, it’s designed to operate in a high pressure environment.
08/04/2011 at 11:35 Hellraiserzlo says:
The new update makes it sound like a tie in for glados to appear or have some presence in the environment in ep3, unless the arg is for a one week after launch dlc, but that’s not how valve rolls.
08/04/2011 at 11:35 Aquarion says:
I like the first line
The one that says “Released ahead of schedule”
That one I like.
Valve? I like that line.
Make it so.
08/04/2011 at 12:15 dragonhunter21 says:
“And we’re out of beta,
we’re releasing on time…”
08/04/2011 at 11:37 Vague-rant says:
If this is another Portal advert, I too shall be dissapointed. It sounds like just an early release/beta access, which, given that they pushed back the release date, is a bit silly.
08/04/2011 at 11:39 Jonathan says:
“That’s no moon.”
08/04/2011 at 11:40 Mario Figueiredo says:
When last year Valve announced Half-Life for the Mac, the promotional video included text written on a wall behind the spectators. This concept is again explored here… sorta.
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2010/05/26/valve-announces-half-life-2-for-mac/
08/04/2011 at 11:40 jstar says:
I don’t often shit bricks but if it is an Ep 3 tease I will shit one. A really big one.
08/04/2011 at 11:45 roryok says:
like these? http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/dc/look/look-bricks-made-of-cow-dung-083554
08/04/2011 at 11:40 roryok says:
Could this possibly be an announcement for the sequel to the 2007 puzzle game Portal?
I have heard rumours that there would indeed be a sequel coming out at some point, but you know the way it is with rumours – they can so often prove to be false.
08/04/2011 at 11:42 TsunamiWombat says:
Portal 2 advert, yawn z-z Come out with that new IP already.
08/04/2011 at 11:44 Teddy Leach says:
It’s obviously a mutant badger.
08/04/2011 at 11:47 20thCB says:
The update histories for some of the potatofoolsday games are pretty creepy too -
Killing Floor, for instance, reads :
“Silly specimens, I don’t know why I am updating this, you won’t figure it out anyway. You still haven’t solved the last puzzle.”
Or Bit Trip Beat:
“Updated Main Menu
Game auto-pauses when the SSSSSSteam Overlay is uSed
Mega Mode enhance
ments
ERRORs REDACTED
>>>===0| |0===> Soon?
Uw==7c6f7c01010011″
The Dejobaan game updates are REALLY trippy though….
08/04/2011 at 11:49 Kdansky says:
Six capital letters reminds me of some other game.
08/04/2011 at 12:06 Wulf says:
Why does that arrow thing look like momentum through two portals to me? (Next to soon.)
08/04/2011 at 12:26 JohnnydeBris says:
Hm, the las tbit (“Uw==7c6f7c01010011″) seems to consist of a base 64 encoded bit, then some ASCII decimals, and then an ASCII binary character… After converting to plain ASCII it reads ‘S|o|S’ – no clue what it means though… :)
08/04/2011 at 12:32 Teddy Leach says:
“Save our Souls”, maybe? In which case it certainly fits in with the Borealis theory.
08/04/2011 at 21:56 Soon says:
SurPrised you Are So LAte
>>>===0| |0===>
23 87 1-38 210 39 71 2178 238
093 342 32 12 320 -10 219 72
08/04/2011 at 11:50 Kdansky says:
I think the image is one of GlaDOSs eyes/brains, by the way. Looks similar and would make perfect sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY8926_LSe8&feature=related
After looking at it again, I must admit it’s kinda different.
08/04/2011 at 12:04 Wulf says:
But it could be a brain! Just not necessarily one of GlaDOS’s personality modules.
08/04/2011 at 16:31 Srethron says:
I also think the image looks kind of like a GLaDOS core. Maybe it’s one being constructed/reconstructed? Would fit with it being a reboot process.
08/04/2011 at 11:50 James G says:
I might be missing a joke here, so perhaps I’m stating what everyone else already realises, but there is already something else in the portal universe that looks remarkably like that picture. There is no reason to suppose it is something else.
Its quite clearly a cake.
08/04/2011 at 11:57 Teddy Leach says:
That’s a lie!
08/04/2011 at 11:53 yurusei says:
So, the marketing guys at Valve obviously have been playing a lot of Assassin’s Creed to come up with this cryptic, jigsaw puzzler.
08/04/2011 at 12:03 Serenegoose says:
Well, the main difference so far is that you actually have a shot at solving this one without an HDTV. The resolution on the images in AC2 after the first few puzzles was so horribly low that even with a guide to give me the answers, I couldn’t see where those answers had come from. “a number 3 on the side of the house? You mean that tiny, indistinguishable blur?”
Oh bother, now I’ve gone and admitted I played it on a 360.
08/04/2011 at 11:57 mollemannen says:
hmm perhaps valve will make the next bioshock under water.
08/04/2011 at 12:01 roryok says:
now that would be something
08/04/2011 at 12:06 sonofsanta says:
Isn’t that a part of Glados what got thrown in the furnace at the end of Portal 1?
08/04/2011 at 12:23 Wulf says:
It’s similar in design but not exactly the same. That’s what makes me think that it’s an Aperture Science-built container for something. It’s driving me crazy that I keep seeing hints about this…
Maybe they’re baking the potato man. :P
08/04/2011 at 12:20 dragonhunter21 says:
Okay, idea. Reading through the theories on the ARG Wiki, and some guy mentions the MINERVA mods. The MINERVA guy got hired by Valve awhile back, right? Maybe this is his own, new IP.
Actually, the ARG stuff is oddly reminiscent of the stuff he did back when it was just him working on MINERVA.
08/04/2011 at 15:51 frymaster says:
it’s almost definately adam foster doing this ARG. It was confirmed that he did the last one for Valve (or at least contributed to it)
He was hired to work on portal 2, so a new IP might be doubtful. But if there’s anyone likely to be able to tie the portal games into the half-life series, it’s him.
08/04/2011 at 12:23 MadTinkerer says:
All of the Potato Sack games have been updated. Most of the news updates tease us with vague things like
“Due to a change of management, the previously instituted magic word has been replaced by that to which you are more traditionally accustomed.”
But some of them are more explicitly Portal related such as
“>>>===0| |0===> Soon?”
The Killing Floor update taunts us with “Silly specimens, I don’t know why I am updating this, you won’t figure it out anyway. You still haven’t solved the last puzzle.” and several of the other updates mention new levels. So I’m installing things furiously and haven’t had a chance to check yet but it seems like:
There’s Portal themed stuff (levels?) IN EVERY POTATO SACK GAME NOW!?! Accessed once the ARG is solved!? Are any of these levels supposed to be part of the story between the Portal games?!? Furiously installing…
08/04/2011 at 12:24 Wulf says:
I caught the soon thing looking like something moving at velocity through two portals as well!
08/04/2011 at 13:50 MadTinkerer says:
Update: most of the Potato Sack games now have Aperture Science logins in game. So I’m at least partly right: http://valvearg.com/wiki/Portal_2#Login_Screens
Still installing…
08/04/2011 at 12:25 Unaco says:
It’s a Portal 2 marketing thing, I reckon. No more to it than that, no HL3/Ep3, no new IP.
08/04/2011 at 12:29 Serenegoose says:
I don’t really see why it can’t be both. I find it difficult to take the idea that we’re going to be in the Aperture Science labs for the whole duration of the game seriously. Going somewhere with the Borealis makes sense. It can double as a final teaser for portal 2 -and- a teaser for episode 3 at the same time, given how it’s a key linking point of both stories.
08/04/2011 at 12:38 ErrantConstruct says:
I agree. It reminds me of the when they “cancelled” their portal 2 event at E3, and everyone got super excited about an Episode 3 announcement only for it to be rather clever marketing thing for portal 2. I’ve personally given up waiting for any news about ep3. If its not more portal 2 stuff, its statistically more likely to be another Left 4 Dead.
08/04/2011 at 13:47 Bilbo says:
Or some portal-themed TF2 hats, perhaps
08/04/2011 at 12:28 Deano2099 says:
I know it always comes up and it’s hugely unlikely, but it does fascinate me that Valve have the facility to push out Episode 3 at a moment’s notice whenever they want. And given that it’s just an episode so likely won’t get a regular retail release (or will need bundling with something or other) I sort of figure they’d have to try something like that at some point.
It’d be interesting to see if the internet buzz generated made up for the lack of marketing in traditional channels…
08/04/2011 at 13:08 Ziv says:
I can’t quite remember, but at the end of ep1 there are these balls being released from the city, they are pretty similar to the image no?
08/04/2011 at 15:40 Stijn says:
Those were Combine Advisor Pods: http://half-life.wikia.com/wiki/Advisor_Pod
08/04/2011 at 13:11 Furius says:
when that last square is revealed Roy Walker is going to jump out and go “Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!” eh Brits?
08/04/2011 at 13:19 DaggleC says:
I love this :)
08/04/2011 at 13:26 Cpl Trim says:
“Episode 3? Et’s gud, but et’s nut the one!”
08/04/2011 at 13:49 Bilbo says:
“more portal 2 crap” “riiiiight!!!”
08/04/2011 at 13:52 Sarlix says:
And what of Mr Chips?
08/04/2011 at 13:24 Bilbo says:
EduGuess: this is all just a way to try and make a game about getting from A to B quickly seem like it has more depth than it does.
Hurry up and make Episode 3, etc
08/04/2011 at 13:38 yhancik says:
First paragraph is missing so parts.
From the wiki, so far :
“I release ****ick it’ ahead of schedule” might be something like “I release it, pick it ahead of schedule”, without would hint at a demo or that “filling the gap between Portal 1 and 2″ thing.
There might be a date hidden in the “strange characters” of the text, possibly “4 15 2011 9 AM”
08/04/2011 at 14:02 yhancik says:
Or (suggested by someone on the wiki)
“I released ‘Kick it’ ahead of schedule. That was a test.”
08/04/2011 at 14:03 faelnor says:
Not counting punctuation, the text contains this, in this order :
4 1 9 2 0 1 1 _ AM = 4 1 5 2 0 1 1 9 AM
Seems pretty clear to me :)
08/04/2011 at 14:18 MadTinkerer says:
Or “Kick It”. As in 123 Kick It! (Drop that beat like an ugly baby)
Ninja’d twice! :)
08/04/2011 at 13:53 deadsexy says:
Not directly related to this and it may have been posted before, but a digital Portal Comic is supposed to be released today (the first issue of it anyway). There’s more over at IGN (ugh): http://comics.ign.com/articles/116/1160119p1.html
08/04/2011 at 14:07 Gwog says:
All the Portal 2 ads and ARGs and freeway billboards (I drive past I think four of them on my commute every day) just remind me of how utterly bent I am about the Half Life story and characters being abandoned. The little teases of the primary HL story that are incorporated into the Portal timeline only make this worse.
I know it’s both curmudgeonly and childish at the same time, but I am absolutely never sending Valve another dime for a game or anything through Steam unless HL is satisfactorily revived.
Nobody cares, of course, and the world will continue to empty their collective wallets into Valve’s gaping maw, but it’s the only way I can vote. Bah, it’s too bad too because I think Portal is brilliant and would love to enjoy Portal 2.
BAH.
08/04/2011 at 14:22 MadTinkerer says:
I take the opposite view: Gabe has mentioned more than once that they are still working on Episode 3, but that it’s taken “a new direction” and that he “trusts the team”. Which means that when Ep 3 or HL3 or whatever they call it comes out, it should be better than what we originally imagined Ep3 was going to be back in 2007.
It might not meet everyone’s time-inflated expectations, but I figure they’re at least using the lessons learned in their other games. The emphasis on co-op play in every Valve game since the Orange Box (TF2, L4D 1 & 2, AS and now P2) suggests that there might be co-op campaigns in HL(ep)3. And if not, at least Alyx’s AI will be really smart this time. Also Barney, hopefully.
08/04/2011 at 14:49 Ergates_Antius says:
I know it’s both curmudgeonly and childish at the same time, but I am absolutely never sending Valve another dime for a game or anything through Steam unless HL is satisfactorily revived.
I wouldn’t say it was childish. I’d say it was silly and illogical.
You’ll not buy this one game that you think you’d enjoy because Valve haven’t yet released a different game? That is the very definition of cutting your nose off to spite your face.
Doubly so as (unless you think Gabe Newell is a bare-faced liar) the HL story hasn’t been abandonned. I’d rather Valve took their time to make something special rather than just knocked out more of the same just to keep the fans happy. It’s not as if Valve is a small company that only has the resources to develop one game at a time.
08/04/2011 at 18:59 MikoSquiz says:
Portal 2 is Episode 3.
Personally, I’d rather see them focus on everything else and leave Half-Life be. It was pretty good back in the day, but back in the day is long gone and the whole Half-Life experience would need a much more drastic overhaul than the one it had between 1 and 2 to be able to compete in the brilliantness stakes with the likes of Half-Life and Team Fortress.
Ep1 and Ep2 barely moved on from the base game, and to be honest I probably could’ve done without them completely.
08/04/2011 at 14:14 Jahkaivah says:
“We’ve got our HL2 ep3/HL3 hopes up far too many times, and been shot down again and again.”
This is the first time Valve have not had a more deserving sequel to make though.
That is the thing that bugs me about the Episode 3 impatience, Valve were largely doing nothing but Half Life installments since the company first began, and with the Orange Box and Left 4 Dead they suddenly have a load of interesting and differant games under their belt that deserved expanding on.
Valve take a much needed break from refining the same game for the third time to give all those other games which hadn’t been given room to grow some updates and sequels and all of a sudden Episode 3 is considered the new Duke Nukem Forever.
08/04/2011 at 14:34 Mario Figueiredo says:
Episode 3 was never expected to be a refinement of the same game, as you put it. Gamers always understood Episode 3 as the final chapter on the Half-Life 2 saga. A game that everyone understood at the time (and valve assumed as much) to be followed by 3 episodic content updates. And it’s only because, Valve never released Episode 3 in a timely fashion, that you can now speak of “refinement”.
What we have is a game which story is unfinished for the past 4 years. We aren’t waiting for a sequel. And until it became obvious Episode 3 would take forever to be released, we never waited for a new engine, or anything like that.
Episode 3 may be one of the most anticipated titles in recent gaming history, bound to make the headlines of every single gaming media, but it’s no less true that it represents for some players a profound disappointment in how Valve conducted itself through this. Episode 3, at this point, can barely qualify as an episodic content anymore.
08/04/2011 at 16:10 Malibu Stacey says:
To paraphrase Neil Gaiman
VALVe are not your bitches.
08/04/2011 at 19:08 Tenorek says:
The reason people are grumpy about the length Ep. 3 has taken to come out stems from the premise of the episodic structure. I mean, if we knew the next game was HL3 we would not be surprised to wait 4+ years for it. It’s the fact that many of us accepted the small installments that were Ep. 1 & 2 because we knew (at the time) that a third episode was just on the horizon. That was the promise. Am I grumpy? not really, I’m mostly numb, I’ve gone into some kind of Half Life stasis mode until Ep. 3 becomes imminent. I can’t even get into the previous games, though I intend to play them all through again before Ep. 3 graces my CPU.
08/04/2011 at 19:57 Jahkaivah says:
“And it’s only because, Valve never released Episode 3 in a timely fashion, that you can now speak of “refinement”. ”
They didn’t exactly release Episode 2 in a timley fashion either. Episodic content just doesn’t suit Valve, it is mainly for smaller devlopers to help fund the development of their games by getting content out sooner. Valve don’t have to worry about such things while being far too perfectionist to make frequent installments ideal. As a result it was kind of hindering the company as it just meant making Half Life game after Half Life game when they had so many other ways to use their talent.
08/04/2011 at 14:44 hjparcins says:
It’s X-COM: Terror from the Deep 2. I bet Take Two licensed the IP to Valve, but only for a a turn-based strategy game.
Mark my words!
08/04/2011 at 14:53 Baboonanza says:
I smeared my own faeces on them, does that count?
08/04/2011 at 23:17 Robin says:
Too awesome to be true. Sorry
08/04/2011 at 14:55 mcnostril says:
Arg.
This whole ARG thing is confusing the hell out of me.
Amnesia got an update with stuff in it as well (other than the potatoes).
08/04/2011 at 15:07 Jonathan says:
To repeat my joke that nobody laughed at, now with professional image:
That’s no moon: http://twitpic.com/4ib2r9
08/04/2011 at 15:51 Nippur_de_Lagash says:
haha that made chuckle!
08/04/2011 at 15:21 reticulate says:
Please be Ep3. Please be Ep3. Please be Ep3.
This is all I want. I love TF2, adored Portal. L4D is probably one of the most addictive co-op shooters ever.
But Gordon needs to break out his crowbar, one more time. I need closure, dammit. I’ve got avenging to get on with, and my bespectacled cypher is the one I want to do it.
08/04/2011 at 15:41 yurusei says:
Damn, I love the marketing gimmicks Valve is doing. As an advertising student it makes my hair stand to see the extent it has gotten the gaming community to band together and try to solve it’s mysteries.
Giving clues by making the players buy the potato pack? Creating anticipation for both Portal and HL3 in the same swipe? Marketing win.
08/04/2011 at 16:00 LordCraigus says:
Make it Episode 3 please AAAUUUUUUGGGHHH!
08/04/2011 at 16:05 Jonathan says:
I think you mean “ARG!” not “AAAUUUUUUGGGHHH!”
08/04/2011 at 16:08 man-eater chimp says:
I just played through Episode 2 again, it seriously needs finishing!
If this is infact another Portal 2 advert then I will annoyed, but the genius surrounding the ARG is enough for me in the end.
08/04/2011 at 16:09 horseflesh says:
So we can expect some additional content, travelled to via bathysphere. And how can you not know how to operate a bathysphere? Shame on you.
08/04/2011 at 16:29 markcocjin says:
Tried to email Gabe just now. I guess he can’t accept any mail as of this moment. I got this auto reply:
I am out scik with some virus
For general issues, e-mail scott@valvesoftware.com. For marketing or press issues, e-mail lombardi@valvesoftware.com. To complain about HL-2 Ep 3 taking too long, email marc@valvesoftware.com. To complain about L4D2 not taking long enough, email toml@valvesoftware.com.
08/04/2011 at 16:36 shinygerbil says:
That’s the best thing I’ve seen in this whole campaign.
08/04/2011 at 16:59 Urthman says:
Has there ever been an evil corporate overlord as witty and clever as Gabe?
08/04/2011 at 16:58 Nighthood says:
http://valvearg.com/wiki/Valve_ARG_Wiki
Might want to check out that recently discovered MP3, it’s a great tune. :D
No idea what it means though.
08/04/2011 at 17:04 Hellraiserzlo says:
Ah there is something obviously hidden in the tune, screw you arg ><
08/04/2011 at 17:10 Emperor_Jimmu says:
There seems to be a massive amount of bass on that track. Do you think there could be something hidden in the lower frequencies?
08/04/2011 at 18:19 Flint says:
I can’t see it being Portal 2. Surely they wouldn’t create a massive ARG thing full of mysterious brainteasers and enigmatic clues for a game that we’ve seen being played, has loads of info out there and is out soon. It would just be… silly and pointless.
But it’s probably going to be Portal 2 anyway.
08/04/2011 at 20:01 bob_d says:
Solution to ARG: “You know that sequel that’s coming out soon, that we’ve made all these videos for, and we’ve talked about, and shown gameplay for, etc.? Well, it is actually being released .”
We can hope that’s not what’s going on here (and it’s actually a teaser for an episode 3 / portal 2 crossover), but yeah, with ARGs it usually is that pointless, and the number of explicit Portal 2 references in the “potato arg” seem to indicate that’s the case.
08/04/2011 at 18:52 ScruffyLemming says:
The guys in the IRC channel just solved the last piece of the puzzle, here it is completed: http://i56.tinypic.com/25iq2jp.jpg
08/04/2011 at 18:55 Bungle says:
The picture is part of GlaDOS. It’s those personality spheres you had to throw in the fire at the end of the first game. Why would anyone say it looks like a submersible?
08/04/2011 at 19:36 Eukatheude says:
You might want to check on an image of the personality cores. They definitely don’t look like this at all.
08/04/2011 at 19:19 Wulf says:
You know I keep obsessing about people/a specific person having either their body or brain in a vat or vats? Well… The Ball has this as a clue: A sidewise safe; inside we see isotopic goo.
/twitch
It’s likely an anagram, yes, but that’s a really mind-farking coincidence if it is a coincidence.
08/04/2011 at 19:22 Serenegoose says:
Either that, or the scientists who are running -your- experiment are trolling you. Feed the brain-in-a-jar stimulus, about its true surroundings and watch it twitch! Never realising the terrible truth.
08/04/2011 at 19:27 Wulf says:
Oh, that kind of thing has no effect on me. I’m completely desensitised to it by an insane friend of a friend who’s absolutely convinced in the fringe theory of reality being some sort of simulation, and has all sorts of crazy ideas surrounding that, and has had at least one bizarre breakthrough in this area that tends to twist my mind inside out. No one can outdo him. When he talks, I try very hard not to think about what he’s saying. :p
Anyway, on the amusing reality-as-a-simulation topic (and it is amusing), I’d bet that even the whole bloody small town in Wisconsin or whatnot is actually either a simulation or dreamstate, since it keeps talking about people waking up without clothes, not being able to remember smells, and bizarre things about an entryway being left open that they’re told not to close.
08/04/2011 at 19:40 Serenegoose says:
Well fie.
But I don’t get what you’re on about in the second paragraph. I do however, note with interest that since they’ve got JK Simmons to do the voice of Cave Johnson, and since they’ve been slowly establishing his character, that I wouldn’t really be that surprised if he does turn up in Portal 2. Given when portal 2 is set…. brain in a jar wouldn’t be that far fetched!
08/04/2011 at 19:34 lazysuperhero says:
I can barely comprehend all of this puzzling cryptography but it makes me let out tiny bits of wee out of excitement!
*Changes underwear*
08/04/2011 at 22:11 Tenorek says:
I suspect this is all an effort to get us hyped up for Portal 3.
09/04/2011 at 01:05 Pointless Puppies says:
I don’t know why anybody thinks this is related to Portal 2. This is obviously an ARG regarding a new announcement. What would Valve announce that’s Portal-2-related that would warrant an entire ARG spanning multiple indie games?
09/04/2011 at 14:25 Tuskin38 says:
One final hint from the picture was “4/19/2011_7AM=4/15/2011_9AM”
Basically it says Portal 2′s PST release date (according to steam) “equals” next Friday at 9am PST
What could this mean? Preload? Early release if we beat the Puzzle?