Vlambeer Master Karate In Two Hours

By Alec Meer on April 12th, 2011 at 5:50 pm.

punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch

Any day with a new game from Super Crate Box weirdo-heads Vlambeer is a good day. This time, they’ve made one about being a martial arts superhero – in just two hours. Kicksplode!

Well, one hour and fifty-seven minutes to be precise. Even so: bloody hell. That is impressive work, especially given this is far from terrible. It’s rather a lot of fun, in fact. Oh, there’s that stupid, meaningless word again. Yes, everyone has a different idea of fun. My idea of fun is mashing buttons to make pretend-dudes fall over. Ergo, this is fun.

Karate, which was created to combat their “inner boredom” more than anything else, is tiny and unfair and ridiculous and brillant. Basically, it’s that Enter The Dragon scene where Bruce Lee fights like a thousand men in a row, ad infinitum. That’s all I really want from a Karate game, to be honest. Skill? Pah! Punch!

6MB of free, joyous pixel-art carnage await you here. How many men did you karate in the face before perishing?

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27 Comments »

  1. Tusque D'Ivoire says:

    I AM READY!

    but there is no link

    • BAReFOOt says:

      How am I supposed to play this, with Z being halfway across the keyboard from X??

      This is Eartha-Shattaruining!

    • Kdansky says:

      It bothers me that so many game writers do not care that Z and X are half a keyboard apart on German keyboards (and I believe some others too). Can’t they just put the controls somewhere sensible? Like arrows + numbers 1-9, which is identical on absolutely every keyboard ever made?

    • Tusque D'Ivoire says:

      A quick keyboard magic trick from a fellow german: press Alt+Shift, and your keyboard settings get changed from german layout to english. very handy for these types!

      If you’re on Windows, that is. But this is a gaming site.

    • tanith says:

      So there is no gaming on Linux then?
      Interesting.
      Oh well, I guess I’ll have to deinstall all my games then because Tusque D’Ivoire implied you can only game on Windows. :|

      And yes, this particular control mapping issue has been bothering me quite often, too.

  2. leto says:

    While Google-Fu is an appropriate thing to use here, having a link to the actual game might be nice as well.
    Until then: linky

  3. PleasingFungus says:

    Here’s something to start things off: my high score (4921), and the official high score.

    …as you might guess from the url of the second one, he’s thinking about tweaking the game a bit.

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      Altemore says:

      Can’t quite see what’s going on in that picture. At first I thought there was some kind of corner-invincibility thing, but can’t really see that working now that I tried it for a moment.
      I have sucesfully sent 307 mooks to the skies.

    • PleasingFungus says:

      jwaap [08:56] haha the design is a bit flawed so far
      jwaap [08:56] were gonna extend it prolly
      jwaap [08:56] you can just keep uppercutting for sick scores

      My own strategy revolved around alternating between punching dudes left and right to keep the crowd controlled and increase combo, and uppercutting to cash in.

      The short version is that Vlambeer is the master of karate.

    • Berzee says:

      Well, I just got 15,000 points — but I don’t really consider it broken or a bad thing. =) Maybe if it was 700,000 instead of 70,000…but I think you must consider the time played and not just the score. 70,000 points would barely even take a minute or two, judging by how long it took me to get 15k. A minute or two for a high score ain’t bad =) Though maybe the tweaks would just be to add strategy to when you ought to uppercut, instead of the answer being “always”

  4. Jesse L says:

    The site for this game is tremendously hilarious.

    KA: The art of sending.
    RA: To the Gods in heaven.
    TE: Others with your fists.

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      Altemore says:

      First thing I did when reading that was count syllables. I’m not sure whether they intentionally tried to make it a haiku, because it only *almost* is. The middle line is 6 syllables, not 7.

    • Growley says:

      I especially loved the site’s suggestion on how to become a karateka.

    • Hoaxfish says:

      not too far from prostitutes

  5. Peter Radiator Full Pig says:

    “Even so”?
    Isnt that used when the claim comes up lacking?
    Like if you said in two hours 3 minutes, even so, impressive stuff.
    1hr57 minutes is more impressive than 2 hours, even so has no place here…

  6. taggert says:

    Ka-chow! new high score 122479
    http://i1231.photobucket.com/albums/ee515/Taggert3/kungfu.jpg

    what a fun little game =D

  7. Davie says:

    That was an incredible 52 seconds.

  8. Growley says:

    This game cries out for appropriate background music. Suggestions?

  9. Zogtee says:

    Get this and the other games on Steam, goddammit. I will pay MONEY for them.

  10. Berzee says:

    YOU CAN PUNCH THE BULLETS!!!

  11. LynkS says:

    Super crate box is the best game evah!!!111

  12. Kieron Gillen says:

    I’ve now played this game more than I’ve played anything else this week. Man!

    KG

  13. Spacewalk says:

    Playing this makes me wish that the games that I make in two hours were this cool but I’ve only lucked out once.

  14. JackShandy says:

    Man, I spent two hours today just trying to get a pixelman to walk. Vlambeeeeeeer!