Hail: Ten New Duke Nukem Forever Screens

By John Walker on April 18th, 2011 at 11:37 am.

I've a sneaking suspicion the game's going to feature big things.

Ten new screenshots have just appeared for Duke Nukem Forever. (As someone who’s been doing this job for twelve years, I’m still unable to shake the feeling of absurdity that comes with believing that the game is genuinely coming out this year. Just typing those words feels like folly.) You’ll probably want to look at them. Will they be insanely sexist? Maybe they’ll feature animals being tortured? Well, almost disappointingly, no. But one of them has the word “cock”? You can see them all below, and if you’d only bloody well click on them they’d get all big.

Edit: Oh sigh – there are boobs hidden in there. See if you can find them!

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70 Comments »

  1. bythie says:

    I’d read that book.

    • SneerRolts says:

      If it ever got released

    • westyfield says:

      I’d buy that for a dollar!

    • Scatterbrainpaul says:

      I’ve just completed it.

      Was only 6 words long

    • Kaira- says:

      “I kick ass and chew bubblegum.”

    • McDan says:

      I’d love it if you could sign that book any way you wanted, like your own name or a picture of…something.

    • SuperNashwanPower says:

      Check out the pic on the pen he’s signing it with.

      Hint: Turn head upside down.

    • blainestereo says:

      @McDan:

      I’m pretty sure that would be the case. There was that older preview where developers spent half of the video drawing cocks on the whiteboard. They were really excited about it too, so the tech will probably be used on every suitable occasion. Like, I dunno, writing your initials on some defeated boss’ corpse. In piss. Something tasteful like that.

    • Optimaximal says:

      @McDan Given you can draw however you want on the whiteboard during the prologue, I wouldn’t be surprised if you can draw whatever you want in that book.

      Maybe they’re implementing pattern recognition and yet get to really destroy that kids childhood!

    • Twisted says:

      The book is a reference to a cutscene from Duke Nukem 2. Can we also have spiders that require shaking to remove?

  2. Mashakosha says:

    I want the collector’s edition to have that book.

  3. applecup says:

    That kid and (presumably) his father look like creepy Poser renders.

  4. jplayer01 says:

    After countless iterations of Medal of Honour, Battlefield and Call of Duty, I’m so glad we’re getting another FPS (next to Bulletstorm) which doesn’t take itself seriously at all. Screw realism, I want whiteboards with a kiddy drawing of a big bad monster and the word “cockblock” written above it.

  5. SuperNashwanPower says:

    In the book signing picture, duke is writing with a pen that has a nekkid woman on it. Boobs have triumphed.

  6. Skusey says:

    I’m not sure why they think masking a mediocre shooter with poor humour is a good idea, but good luck to them.

    • Uthred says:

      Surely there are better uses for your ability to see into the future than posting on gaming websites?

    • Premium User Badge

      lurkalisk says:

      Well, it would be a good idea, were DNF poorly.

      However, the game shall invariably be grand in various significant proportions… I feel like there’s some hideously overused word for that…

    • Matt says:

      Glorious?

    • Felixader says:

      Terrific?

    • SneerRolts says:

      Duke-ish?

    • Skusey says:

      It’s a very specific and often useless talent.

  7. Inigo says:

    if you’d only bloody well click on them they’d get all big.

    That’s what she said.

    I hate myself and I want to die.

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      “I hate myself and I want to die.”

      That’s what she said.

      Sorry.

  8. Premium User Badge

    kregg says:

    The pen has tits on it.

  9. gorgol says:

    I have been approving of DNF so far, but the graphics look really bad :o I know graphics aren’t exactly important but still, its not as if man shoots can make it up with gameplay…

  10. Sic says:

    Oh, John. You had me at cock.

  11. Spacewalk says:

    That’s a pretty extreme haze effect in that last shot and that whiteboard is all wrong, it needs a drawing of a Quake marine on it.

  12. Rii says:

    So it’s imperialist propaganda, uninspired space marine romps or … this?

    Bioshock Infinite and XCOM WRU plz.

    • Bornemannen says:

      The funny thing is that this game seems to stay true to the original (or Duke Nukem 3D) in most aspects whereas what has been shown of XCOM so far seems to be a slap in the face for all the fans. I for one applaud Gearbox for doing having the balls to do this, they could just as well have removed all the offending content and released a bland FPS in order to make some quick bucks.

      Having said that, I do agree that this game appeals to the pimple-faced 13 year old little boy inside of me. And he is very very happy so far.

    • Corrupt_Tiki says:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Force so you would rather play this?
      mm please why comment if you have nothing useful or good to say? obv. you won’t be buying this game, so why does it matter what you think? Me and immature ‘adults’ all over will be wanting this game, even if it is only for nostalgia sake.
      –that sounded a bit more snarky than I was intending– but still.

    • Archonsod says:

      All the fans who didn’t let out an elongated and melodramatic “Noooo” when the original XCom FPS was cancelled you mean?

      Hoping Duke has stuck to it’s roots. Can’t think of a shooter I could laugh with (rather than at) since Postal 2.

    • Outsider says:

      Imperialist propaganda? Someone takes their games a little too seriously.

  13. donmilliken says:

    New screenshots? Where?

    Seriously though, I know I’ve seen at least some of these before. What makes them new? Are they from different angles or something?

  14. Teddy Leach says:

    WHY IS THAT CHILD STARING AT ME? WHY?!

    I’m also glad to see that they remembered that book. That was in the intro for Duke Nukem 2, wasn’t it?

  15. Daniel Rivas says:

    I suppose I don’t understand how anyone can be excited for this. Maybe I’m too young, it seems like something for old people.

    • The Colonel says:

      It seems more like one of those curious things that is clearly made for 14 year olds and yet has an 18 logo splashed across the front. I suppose there must be enough 14 year olds with parents willing to buy them this shit.

  16. Teddy Leach says:

    Old men… are the future.

  17. Bornemannen says:

    This aint no country for old men….

  18. obvioustroll says:

    Fellatio.

    Made me smile.

  19. Corrupt_Tiki says:

    I would order the Collectors edition of this if it came with that pen.

  20. JFS says:

    I found the boobs. But those pictures are old, I’ve already seen them and I’m not even a real videogame nerd.

  21. sexyresults says:

    lol boobs on the pen

  22. Daniel Rivas says:

    I am aged nineteen and one quarter.

  23. Chris D says:

    Out of interest, at what age does someone become an old person?

  24. SneerRolts says:

    If you were 19 and a half you would understand, you young whippersnapper.

  25. Adam says:

    Love the screenshots, just wish they weren’t so damn grainy.

  26. Daniel Rivas says:

    I don’t have an xbox. I quite like half life?

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    Christian Dannie Storgaard says:

    Is it just me or is that some crazy clipping going on in screen 6? What’s happening to pigface’s arm?

  28. Wulf says:

    I wouldn’t sweat it. I think the time of Duke has passed, really. And you may just have a better head on your shoulders in regards to ethics than most do, so perhaps the whole objectification and crass humour angle is offensive to you.

    I made a point the other day about how people might view it differently if the lead was a strong lady and the game was filled with whorish, unintelligent men willing to have gay sex for her at any moment. It’s all a matter of perspective.

    You don’t have to like it. What you like or do not like is entirely your own prerogative, and certainly don’t let any random folk on the Internet convince you otherwise.

    • Red_Avatar says:

      @Wulf

      “I made a point the other day about how people might view it differently if the lead was a strong lady and the game was filled with whorish, unintelligent men willing to have gay sex for her at any moment. It’s all a matter of perspective.”

      You’re just going to have to wait for a Japanese version then, if that’s what you want.

  29. Grape says:

    …And you may just have a better head on your shoulders in regards to ethics than most do.

    Wow. Aren’t you being a bit of an obnoxious prick, today.

    • Wulf says:

      Wow, replies are failing for me as well now. This is interesting.

      Either way – @Grape

      If not exactly being a fan of misogyny makes me an obnoxious prick, then I’m incredibly and unashamedly proud of being an obnoxious prick.

      And you’re being a bit defensive and apparently butthurt today, if I may note. :p

      Really, not everyone has to super-love misogyny.

      And it’s worth noting that people do have feelings and some might feel degraded by this, which was entirely my point, and some will enjoy that. This is where my point about perspectives came from, about how if the roles were changed, the attitudes would be different.

      • Brumisator says:

        @Wulf

        I think it’s more the people who try to convince others that their view is the right one by acting like pricks that are the bigger problem.
        “HEATHERNS BURN AT THE STAKE FOR ENJOYING TITTIES!” and all that.

        Of course, people with the same behaviour but opposite opinions are equally annoying pricks.

        You’re okay in my book, Wulf.

      • The Colonel says:

        butthurt?

  30. Daniel Rivas says:

    I’m not offended by it. It just looks a bit gash.

    But if other people are into it, that’s fine. I assume they’re mostly big fans of Duke 3D, or something.

    I made a point the other day about how people might view it differently if the lead was a strong lady and the game was filled with whorish, unintelligent men willing to have gay sex for her at any moment.

    That sounds alright.

  31. Daniel Rivas says:

    Grape: Whatever, man, I’ll take the compliment.

  32. Zyrusticae says:

    I thought the whole point was that Duke is totally offensive and crass.

    I dnno, I just don’t see the point of being all in a tizzle about the misogynistic angle. The game’s trying to be funny and doing so by being completely absurd in every way. I see no problem with this. It is in no way taking itself even remotely seriously.

    If it WAS taking itself seriously, that would be good cause for concern. But it’s a pretty blatant satire of alpha-male American culture. And I just can’t get offended by it.

  33. Thants says:

    So, it looks like Bulletstorm, if was made 5-10 years ago.

  34. TommyPepper says:

    No love for the slightly more obvious boobs in the sixth image?

  35. Foowahchu says:

    I don’t see the relevance of this game after the Postal and Serious Sam series.

    And this is coming from someone who enjoyed Duke 3D.

    Thanks to the Internet, I’ve been shoulder deep within the borderline for too long and nothing seems giggly raunchy or offensive to me anymore.

    Hope it’s a good shooter.

  36. Foowahchu says:

    What Would Leigh Alexander Thinketh?

  37. Solid Snake on a Plane says:

    I don’t know what to think anymore. Duke Nukem 3D, I felt did a fairly good job of satirising the alpha-male ‘MURRIKA FUCK YEAH attitude, especially prevalent in the 90s, but this honestly looks like Gearbox just picked up the IP just so they can say “Alright! Jesus H. Christ! We finished it. It’s done. Duke Nukem Forever is out there. And it’s because of us.” and then open that bottle of scotch they bought when it was first announced and ponder what’s left in their lives.

    Or maybe I’ve just gotten old and grumpy.