Bald Spot: Hitman 5′s Trailer And Title

By Alec Meer on May 10th, 2011 at 5:18 pm.

Snicker

Here we go… After a flurry of rumour and ARG-based teasing, a comeback for the murderous man with the marvelous pate is now officially confirmed. We have a name – as has been series tradition since the third game, there’ll be no number in the title. This is not Hitman 5, but instead Hitman Absolution. But what will our stern Agent 47 be absolving himself of? Forgetting to put the bins out on time for the sixth week running, is my guess. Maybe it’ll be something to do with assassionation, though. Anyway! The first trailer, all 27 bloody seconds of it, is below. No in-game footage, of course (we never get that until the eleventh hour these days, it seems) but we do get some mood-setting music and some glove-porn.

Snakes and faux masturbation await Baldy McBald this time around, then.

The barcode at the end, incidentally, includes the numbers 47 (you can work that one out yourself) and 110706 – the latter referring to the game’s presumed unveiling at E3 next month. 0401? Could mean something, I guess. Any takers?

A more detailed announcement is due tomorrow, apparently. So we shall be posting again then, yes we shall.

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45 Comments »

  1. J-Han says:

    It’ll probably suck compared to Death to Spies 3.

    • The_Great_Skratsby says:

      Can’t say I have played a Death to Spies game that was as good as Blood Money.

    • BobsLawnService says:

      Death to Spies was half the game Blood Money was. By my calculations that means Absolution only needs to be 51% the game Blood Money was.

  2. Oneironaut says:

    My worry is that since the last Hitman game, IO has created two Kane and Lynch games, neither of which were very good. This makes me worried about a new Hitman game.

    • BreadBitten says:

      Relax, I always took Kane & Lynch’s failure as a fact that IO should stick to slower paced and more cerebral gameplay. Also, YES I have played ‘Freedom Fighters’ and YES I think its pretty dang awesome, but I also think that IO were just trying to cash in on that game’s success with the Kane & Lynch games…

    • Javier-de-Ass says:

      don’t forget pretty much the whole hitman team also left ioi after hitman blood money. yeah…. got a really bad feeling about this one

    • Radiant says:

      wait wait what?!

      Where did they go?!
      What are they making now?

    • Javier-de-Ass says:

      they went back to retomoto, which was the original company that spun off into io interactive. or something. not completely sure on the weird story behind that. they’re working on a team shooter called heroes & generals

    • Premium User Badge

      QuantaCat says:

      As long as they keep the clever missiondesign, the great weapon stock you can buy and mod, and the nice lady of the agency, everything is fine.

  3. Matt says:

    Silent rattlesnakes… fokkin’ deadly

    • sinister agent says:

      Round our way, they’re known as passive-aggressive scowlsnakes.

  4. BattleMoose87 says:

    Maybe the ’0401′ numbers could hint at a release date, such as 4th January (hopefully 2012) which would be a Wednesday. We all need some more Hitman in our lives.

  5. Rii says:

    Fetishists rejoice.

  6. Iucounu says:

    At last!

  7. xeon06 says:

    Holy crap, this is probably the game I’m looking forward to the most. I absolutely loved Silent Assassin and Blood Money, replaying the hell out of both of em. Please let this be as good as Blood Money.

  8. Premium User Badge

    soulblur says:

    Damn, those are some nice gloves. I’ve always wanted me a pair of Agent 47 gloves.
    Not Agent 47′s actual gloves, mind you. I don’t have a deathwish, and I’m sure he would find some suitably ironic and totally silent way to have me killed if I were to wear them.

    • deejayem says:

      Probably gloves made out of radioactive razor blades dipped in poison with poisoned man-traps inside the fingers that EXPLODE when you put them on.

    • sinister agent says:

      Or he’d just watch you put the gloves on, then push you down the stairs.

    • Sarkhan Lol says:

      RPS COMMENTATOR FALLS DOWN STAIRS
      ——————Tragic Accident———————
      Police disinterested lorum ipsum etc etc etc

  9. Isometric says:

    I’ve just finished replaying Blood Money today, this was great timing. It’ll be great to finally play a new Hitman game after all these years. I hope it’s not a reboot of the franchise.

    • Rii says:

      According to the official blurb: “Hitman Absolution follows Agent 47, a cold blooded assassin, who takes on his most dangerous contract to date. Betrayed by those he trusted and hunted by the police, he finds himself at the centre of a dark conspiracy and must embark on a personal journey through a corrupt and twisted world, in his search for the truth.”

      Doesn’t sound like a reboot. Or, y’know, particularly original.

    • jplayer01 says:

      … what? Why would the Agency turn on him after the ending of Hitman 4? Why would she turn on him? That’s just absurd. :/ Also, didn’t the last Splinter Cell do exactly the same thing?

      … didn’t the Hitman movie do exactly the same thing?

    • sinister agent says:

      Um… (SPOILERS) by the end of Blood Money, there’s no Agency left. It’s just him and Diana. And she betrayed him. Okay, we know that she actually didn’t, but he may not realise what happened – all he knows is that she sedated him without warning. Indeed, it took me a second play through to realise that she hadn’t set him up.

      There was no Hitman movie.

    • Isometric says:

      Yeah at the end it’s just 47 and Diana. He never cared about anyone so who those people are I’ve no idea.
      Thankfully I never could bring myself to watch the Hitman film, and with good reason I guess.

  10. Alez says:

    I still want an apology from them for making 2 fucking kane and lynch games instead of Hitman sequels.
    Wasting my time with those 2 retards when i could be piling bodies in a tiny broom closet with my fav baldy.

  11. Njordsk says:

    teasers, ARG, teasers….
    It’s getting old INDUSTRY, OLD !

    edit : yeah, the back to karkand thingy just released is getting on my nerves. I mean teasing for an artwork??? !

  12. Ertard says:

    Please, please, please don’t be terrible. Please don’t be dumbed down. Pleaaaaaaaseeeeee.

  13. Serious J says:

    I propose that we, the gaming community, stop calling these things trailers. Trailers generally show content respective of the provided content. These should be called what they are: cheap marketing hype generators.
    Announcements of announcements, ARG’s, pointless cheap marketing hype generators, and constant useless information via social networks and review sites is getting out of hand. It’s putting Hollywood marketing to shame when it comes to annoyance.
    That said, I’m looking forward to more barcode branded bald-man sneaky sneaky action.

    • Rii says:

      “These should be called what they are: cheap marketing hype generators.”

      Or, possibly, and more succinctly, ‘teasers’.

  14. Kotti says:

    The 0401 is just a part of the 47′s usual barcode, nothing special.

  15. Heliosicle says:

    I’ve played through each of the games barring Codename 47 at least 4 times. I can’t wait!

  16. Kwix says:

    I watched the teaser and shrugged so hard at the end I may well have dislocated my shoulders. Had this item even been passed through health and safety?

  17. Crusoe says:

    At last! Simply cannot wait for this one…!

  18. A-Scale says:

    As someone who just beat Hitman: Blood Money for the first time: Fuck yes.

  19. Auspex says:

    I’m glad Alec is back. I was getting worried :(

  20. Premium User Badge

    mrwonko says:

    0401. 04-01. April 1st. It’s just a joke. Huh?

  21. naic244 says:

    I took a screenshot of the barcode and inverted the colour so it was scannable with Redlaser. It comes back as “Drawstring Double Dong Dildo Bag in Starry Night Blue length x 5 width -”. I kid you not.

    EDIT: http://i.imgur.com/Oob6F.png The barcode, try it yourself.

    • Optimaximal says:

      Did you run it through the Frankenheimer ARG-solve 5000?

    • naic244 says:

      Did you run it through the Frankenheimer ARG-solve 5000?

      Should I have?

    • Highstorm says:

      I was trying to scan it myself off the video, but didn’t realize it required some color correction. Disappointing, if humorous results, for sure.

  22. Niche93 says:

    Mwahahaha! I knew this already! Ahhh, sweet sweet intern power. >:D

  23. Corrupt_Tiki says:

    Oh my god, that glove.

    FAP FAP FAP FAP

    =3

  24. Grey_Ghost says:

    Hah, glove-porn, very funny.