Oh No! More Game Sequel Plans Leaked

By Alec Meer on May 13th, 2011 at 5:21 pm.

The staring eyes of TRUTH

Oh dear, it’s a terrible day for the games industry. First, pretty much everything about Modern Warfare 3 gets spoiled six months before release, and now the plots of a whole slew of other upcoming sequels have been laid bare. Read on, if you dare

PLANTS VS ZOMBIES 2: The plants defeat the zombies. Shock!

STREET FIGHTER 5: two men or women punch each other until only one man/woman remains standing. Shock!

COUNTER-STRIKE 2: Terrorists win. But then counter-terrorists win. Then the terrorists win again. Then… You’ll never guess.

DIRT 3: A car wins the race. All of the races, in fact. SHOCK.

MINECRAFT 2: Lots of blocks are mined, and then put together. Very large things are built, then a creeper gets you. SHOCK. But then you come back to life. NOT-SHOCK.

MANIC MINER 3: Platforms are jumped between. The taxman is defeated. SHOCK.

PEGGLE 2: The ball hits the pegs. SHOCK.

BIOSHOCK: INFINITE: A big blue man did it. SHO.. Eh?

FAHRENHEIT /THE INDIGO PROPHECY 2: Absolutely no bloody idea what’s going on. Something about an old lady who turns into the internet, and necrophilia and… nope, just makes no sense. This can’t be for real. What on Earth were these barmy French blokes drinking when they wrote this?

Well, that’s ruined everything. Goddamit games, you and yer fancy stories.

, .

105 Comments »

  1. Matt says:

    Scoop of the decade!

    • BunnyPuncher says:

      Was there a Manic Miner 2.0? If that exists then I think it is the scoop of the decade!

      I love that game.

    • bhlaab says:

      Jet Set Willy was manic miner 2

    • WASD says:

      Valve: You see, this is where we get clever. We don’t release milk-wells. We release titty-milk-droplets-O-we-must-support-Valve-items.

      And they fucking lap it up!

      We’ve even got ‘em buying animations!

      : ) <<< Gabe
      : ) <<< Robbing

      Animations!

      You’re not listening!

      We’ve got our fans buying animations. Character animations for Portal 2. Yes, we could’ve included them in the game, but come on. It’s super shitty clever right?

    • theleif says:

      @WASD
      Because without those character animations I’m nothing.

    • WASD says:

      Le Thief?

      Valve, is that you?

  2. QualityJeverage says:

    Oh Indigo Prophecy…

    I think I’d have preferred a sudden, unexpected black-screen ending right in the middle of the game. Just before it gets insane.

    • Kaira- says:

      *SPOILERS*
      What? You mean it actually continued after you fell in the amusement park?

    • Xocrates says:

      *SPOILERS*
      Amusement park? Didn’t it end with the guy being arrested outside his building or something?

    • Persus-9 says:

      I really don’t know what the fuss is about Indigo Prophesy. The game starts with guy getting possessed and killing another guy while being watched by some hooded dude through the by a psychic raven, I don’t think it went down hill from there and I’d have been genuinely impressed if it had managed to. Yes the old woman who apparently came back from the dead was actually the avatar of the internet is disguise but the plot was coherent and it didn’t ask you to believe anything more whacky at the end than it did right at the start. Heck it was called Indigo Prophesy, how sensible and realistic did you expect it to be?

    • Xocrates says:

      It started as a thriller with supernatural elements, it ended with matrix fights between a zombie, mayans, and the internet during the end of the world.

      It might have started stupid, but had reached epic levels of insanity by the end.

    • Nick says:

      well, technically it was called Fahrenheit…

    • AlligatorMachineGunMassacre says:

      “It started as a thriller with supernatural elements, it ended with matrix fights between a zombie, mayans, and the internet during the end of the world.”

      And they say games can’t be art.

    • malkav11 says:

      It’s not that anything in the ending was completely out of line. I could imagine a Fahrenheit where there were a bunch of scenes logically leading into that ending and aside from the necrophilia bit it might have been fairly acceptable. But none of those scenes are actually in the game. There’s this steady progression of one character’s flight from the authorities and digging into what’s happened to him (complete with hallucinations and emerging superpowers) with the parallel police storyline, and then it just abruptly veers off into crazytown. It really, really feels like there was intended to be at least another third of the game in between the larger part and the ending insanity, but it was cut for time or budget reasons.

    • yourgrandma says:

      I would say that Fahrenheits story is no less insane than say MGS storyline. I enjoyed both of those games immensely even with their batshit insane plots. Maybe even more so because the crazyness made it more entertaining.

  3. Hellraiserzlo says:

    REALISTIC MEN SHOOTER SUPER GRAND SARGENT MASTER Xtreme IN SPACE: men get shot.

  4. James says:

    Sorry…I think the intended message went over my head, unless you’re trying to say that spoilers don’t matter?

    • Alec Meer says:

      No, the real message is… Oh, look over there!

      [Scarpers]

    • James says:

      Stop it, you’re making me dizzy with confusion and wile!

    • Niche93 says:

      Confusedly confusing confused people with confused confusion is confusing.

    • El_MUERkO says:

      It’d have helped if the spoilers you made up were funny.

      /zoidbergs

    • Josh W says:

      You meaney. It’s just harmless fun.

      Well harmless except of how it reminds me of the fact that Fahrenheit is impossible to install on vista.

      I laughed, looked up, and saw the game case sitting on the table next to me, and got cross!

  5. Pop says:

    At least Episode 3 is safe….

    Though I’m not really sure Valve even know how they’re going to wrap that one up

    • markcocjin says:

      One cannot spoil what does not exist.

    • MadTinkerer says:

      Actually, I CAN EXCLUSIVELY REVEAL THESE EPISODE 3 SPOILERS I HAXXORED FROM VALVE’S SERVERS:

      HL2Ep3: Gordon Freeman shoots some aliens. But not all of the aliens, some of whom cause a big explosion at the end, which knocks Gordon out, setting up a cliffhanger for HL3. And the G Man gets a monologue. SHOCK.

    • Xerian says:

      Weeeeell… Valve has stated that they’re done with episodic content for good, so I doubt there’ll be an episode three, but rather Half life three. G’dang it I just want another game -_-… Though, they still have… One? Or is it two big reveals left for this year?… Mm

  6. Flobulon says:

    WARFACE: THERE IS A WAR IN A FACE.

    LEAKED SCREENSHOT

  7. Flappybat says:

    HL2 EPISODE 3: Wait for Episode 4 for the story to be resolved.

  8. MrWolf says:

    I saw this coming a mile away.

  9. xcession says:

    Leaking information about a game that proves it to be little more than a spit-polish version of the game before it, and the game before that, and before that, isn’t really a “spoiler” as much as as an indictment. Is no one else getting tired of all the CoD games being essentially identical?

    • Outsider says:

      Given its continued massive sales? No. People apparently enjoy playing games.

    • polyorpheus says:

      The last CoD game I bought was Modern Warfare 1. It was all right, but I rented MW2 and Black Ops and played for about 10 minutes until I sent it back. Needless to say, I think CoD is a dark spot for the industry. I would like it more if Activision wasn’t milking it for all its worth and if the games actually dealt with war in a meaningful and thought-provoking way.

    • Thants says:

      CoD are fun shooty games. 4 did some quite clever things but the others after it suffered from being churned out too quickly. And people on the internet are FAR too dramatic about them.

    • Ovno says:

      The last Cod i bought was CoD2 they’ve all been down hill since 1.

      Its jsut one big dodgy ass console shooter series…

    • rapchee says:

      @polyorpheus things get bad for financial types when thoughts start getting involved :p

  10. taikonaut says:

    “PEGGLE 2: The ball hits the pegs”

    Or else it gets the hose again?

  11. Dana says:

    I smell a subtle hint of sarcasm.

  12. The_B says:

    Zork 2012: EVERYONE IS EATEN BY A GRUE.

  13. Mario Figueiredo says:

    It wasn’t me.

  14. Zoolooman says:

    Nooooo. I was looking forward to the surprise ending of PvZ2. Way to go, Mr. Meer. :<

  15. vodkarn says:

    I can’t comment on the other story about MW3, but did anyone else laugh their ass off at this:
    http://betacache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/9/2011/05/xlarge__model_1887_iw5.jpg

    Jesus Christ, I haven’t played a COD game since I foolishly purchased Modern Warfare (1), and I don’t think even pretending it has a story is worthwhile, but what is THAT.

    Wasn’t this game supposed to have at least a faux realism? Why would you put a RED DOT SIGHT on that… thing? Why..

    Oh I don’t even know what kids are doing these days, get off my lawn, etc.

    • westyfield says:

      Look at the image on the bottom right, it’s not a red dot, it’s just a circle for lining up the pointy thing at the end (technical term). The green dots are, I think, to help see where half-way up the circle is when it’s dark.

    • skyturnedred says:

      I have no idea how you can mistake that for a red dot sight.

    • Starky says:

      And shotgun is no where near as inaccurate or short range as most games make them out to be (you can easily hit a mansized target at 25-30m with buckshot, in fact can be damned accurate up to around 80-100m when using a slug rather than shot – which is when you need iron sights.

      And those are iron sights in that image.

    • Outsider says:

      “Wasn’t this game supposed to have at least a faux realism?”

      What does that matter when you don’t seem to know what you’re looking at or making fun of? :P

  16. lethu says:

    Thanks for ruining it for me, I am leaving RPS, I am going back to GameTrailers…

    • Mattressi says:

      Indeed, I think RPS has really ruined their journalistic integrity with this story. I’m going to get my gaming news exclusively from Fox News from now on.

  17. Girfuy says:

    This is extremely irresponsible journalism. I will now not be purchasing Dirt 3.

    Thanks a lot.

  18. BooleanBob says:

    Re: counter-strike 2. Well, I just have no idea. The Terrorists win the pistol round, but then lose the second?! Were the CTs not even econ’ing? That’s bold. And then the terrorists win again! Implying that the terrorists econ’d in round 2… so that by the third they could all afford AWPs and Deagles! Those mad, magnificent bastards!

    • Talon says:

      you magnificent bastard you, reminding me of my organized but-not-quite-pro CAL-M days.

  19. Hunam says:

    RE: Fahrenheit.

    It was the Mayans dude.

  20. Betamax says:

    I was genuinly surprised at the Peggle one. What will they think of next?

  21. Gotem says:

    I am just glad that you did not spoil EA FIFA 12
    I plan to play that one

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Girly men kick a ball around a field. England loses the world cup.

    • jamesgecko says:

      Any one of those girly men could unleash a kick strong enough to completely devastate your face, sir!

    • fallingmagpie says:

      @jamesgecko: laughed out loud. well done.

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Not if they pull a muscle or- Hell, who am I kidding, even if they break one of their sissy toenails.

    • Outsider says:

      They’d be far too busy rolling around on the turf while badly faking an injury to bother unleashing a face-devastating kick.

    • James says:

      @jamesgecko

      Couldn’t pretty much anybody (including women) kick you in the face hard enough for something that could be called devastation? Not to say that soccer players are any less manly than the next guy.

  22. Zaboomafoozarg says:

    This is why my great-great-great-great-grandfather left England.

  23. heretic says:

    This must be an ARG.

  24. mR.Waffles says:

    But what if CTs buy deagles on the second? Then it could be an eco cobra.

    I don’t know about you guys but I am done buying Quake 3, I mean Call Of Duty games for a long time.

    • heretic says:

      Well, I wouldn’t compare Q3 and CoD but I agree with the general notion CoD style games won’t be getting any of my money.

      The last I played was MW1, parts of which I found good (the duo missions sniping), the rest was bollocks, I’m tired of arcade-y manshoots.

      Much prefer a nice STALKER game or Arma for an interesting men-with-guns experience.

    • AndrewC says:

      (it’s because CoD use a heavily updated version of the Q3 engine, which is old, which is a thing certain types get thrills out of constantly pointing out)

    • Zelius says:

      Isn’t Source, the engine behind beloved Half-Life 2 and Portal, also based on the Quake engine?

    • Hunam says:

      Yep. If you looked hard enough you might find one or two strings left over from the quake 1 engine. Though the engine was used as a start point and then rebuilt for HL2. Where the current code engine is probably the quake 3 engine just constantly retrofitted with new tech for each new game.

  25. man-eater chimp says:

    At least the next football manager got kept under the wraps, I don’t want to even know the title!

  26. Ricc says:

    Saints Row 3: You hit people with a banana bunch full of dildos.

    • Radiant says:

      I heard it was a keychain.
      A keychain full of dildos.
      Soft, brown, dildos that smell really bad.

    • whydidyoumakemeregister says:

      People always talk about the Saints Row games like they were a blast and loads of good ol fashioned fun, but I recall them being cruel and hateful and inhumane. Maybe some people got games where you run around dressed as a pimp slapping people with dildos and driving funny cars, but I played the ones where you torture innocent people and leave them to die after they help you and kill any stranger that might have something you want.

  27. Recidivist says:

    “Warfare 3 gets spoiled six months before release”

    I…Wh….Ju….Eh.

  28. jackelope says:

    Immediately saw Minecraft 2 and thought “WHAT?? I JUST bought the first one in beta!” …..then I felt silly.

  29. jamesgecko says:

    Actually, Plants vs. Zombies 2 is a sidescrolling beat-em up starring Crazy Dave. As you progress through the game, you get more seeds that you can throw down in the midst of battle to summon plants.

    It also features a band new Zombie mode, in which you fight your way through the garden-borne hordes to reach a pedestal containing Hitler’s brain-in-a-jar.

    A movie tie-in is planned for 2013.

  30. HermitUK says:

    “COUNTER-STRIKE 2: Terrorists win. But then counter-terrorists win. Then the terrorists win again. Then… You’ll never guess.”

    Just call a Scramble Teams vote, someone’s clearly clanstacking.

  31. Dawngreeter says:

    Any game ever: you push buttons until you don’t have to.

  32. DarkFenix says:

    SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!

  33. oceanclub says:

    “Dark-skinned furriners have cursors placed over their heads ’til they die”?

    P.

  34. Cirdain says:

    FAHRENHEIT /THE INDIGO PROPHECY 2….
    Mind blown

    • RakeShark says:

      Mind blowing only works if you keep the bar centered on the line between the two arrows. The first game teaches you this.

  35. magnus says:

    You just ruined the rest of my gaming year, I’m so angry I can barely spel properly, so what am I supposed to do now,eh?

  36. Lambchops says:

    Diablo 3: The final boss is an unkillable giant mouse pointer which clicks on you until you die.

  37. jwfiore says:

    Haha. My first reaction to the headline was: “Wait, you need a plot for spoilers to matt- OH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE MR. MEER”

  38. Ridnarhtim says:

    Holy shit, Peggle 2 sounds awesome. Want now.

  39. D3xter says:

    Phew, good thing you haven’t spoiled the new Mario. I want to be genuinely surprised on that one.

  40. Sapper Gopher says:

    Is that guy on the right supposed to be Ben Stiller’s character in Tropic Thunder?

    • felisc says:

      i’ve heard MW3 developpers are considering inserting plot elements of zoolander, now.

  41. Temple to Tei says:

    Wait there is a Manic Miner 2? When did this happen?
    Preferred Jet Set Willy anyway. At least it had a plot. I think.

  42. AlligatorMachineGunMassacre says:

    I can’t believe they’re ending the Dirt trilogy like that.

  43. Wozzle says:

    I think I like RPS just a little bit more, now.

  44. MythArcana says:

    Civilization VI – Will actually have diplomacy in place so we can play the game properly.

  45. Zarunil says:

    Terrorists WIN?! NOOOOO!