By Alec Meer on May 16th, 2011 at 9:31 am.
Morning, giggles. How’s every little thing? To start you off for the new week, let’s have a good old belly-laugh at leaked marketing materials for the mysterious Hitman: Absolution. Or, as these presumably work in progress box covers (via Kotaku) claim it’s called, “Hitman: Subtitle.” Y’know what, I’d have bought extra copies if it really was called that. There’s an honesty to it. “The bit after the colon doesn’t mean anything but people expect it – just put any old melodramatic guff in there.” So Hitman: Subtitle it must officially remain on RPS, forever. Coming up next – Red Faction: Sequel.
Call of Duty: Dead Horse
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Assassin’s Creed: Continuation
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Dragon Age: Blasphemy
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Total War: Historical Period
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Dragon Age 2: Ultra-Hetero Edition
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Guild Wars 2: Too Many Promises.
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Gears of War: So Macho
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Deus Ex: Retcon Revolution.
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Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri 2: Just Kidding
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Dwarf Fortress 0.31.26: Tantrum Spiral
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Minecraft: Entitlement
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Dwarf Fortress 0.456.445 : Kitten Landslide.
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The Witcher 2: Better Than You
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Crysis 2: Letdown
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Bioshock: Not a Number
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PlanetSide: Next
Wait a moment…
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Half-Life 2 Episode Never
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Hat Simulator 3: Still Taking Your Monies
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Tie Fighter 2: You Wish.
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Modern Warface: The Face of War
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World of Warcraft: Expansion Cash Cow #4
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Need For Speed: Needier and Speedier
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Diablo: When it’s done
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The Elder Scrolls: Region
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Recettear: An Unlikely Translation’s Tale
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Video Game: X of Y
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Mirror’s Edge: Never Gonna Happen
:.(
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It’s not even funny any more, is it? :(
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after getting into mirrors edge again recently, i find your little sad fad with a tear very appropriate.
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I was expecting it to be “Hitman: 5ubtitle”.
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You’re absolutely right.
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Very, véry well played sir.
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Hitman: Subtle
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Fantastic paragraph. You made me smile, then laugh.
And please tell the good folks at World of Tanks that we Opera browser users support their game and its non-browser-crashing advertisement. It’s good to be back.
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Medal of Honor: War Men Fighting
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Medal of Honor: Divisive spelling
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- Modern Warfare 3: Getting really old
- Uncharted 4: New map
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Thi4f: Misplaced number
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Thi4f: Gesundheit
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Thiaf.
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No no, it’s clearly Thifourf.
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Edith’s Thiaf: Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
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Deus Ex: Please oh god let it be good oh please
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Deus Ex: You didn’t pre-order it did you?
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Deus Ex: I did and I will murder if it’s bad.
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Day of Sex: You, sir, are a sucker
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The Sims: Life Thing Expansion Pack
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This Sims 3: More Shit
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The Sims: Vietnam
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@stahlwerk: Now this is a game I would play.
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@stahlwerk @Squirrelfanatic Me too!
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RPS: Post Pun Postponed?
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Postpunned, surely.
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Seriously though, those covers aren’t half bad at all.
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Generic Cover: Average
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The Sims: Paying bills is fun!
Silent Hunter: Number
Call of Duty: Mediocre warfare
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Football Manager: Just slap a new year on it, people’ll buy millions of copies anyway.
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Guys: Stop It Now
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The Witcher 2: Just Better Than Everything
(sorry, just didn’t feel like a comments thread without it being mentioned. Only one more day!)
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The Witcher 2: Morrow.
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The Witcher 3 will be better.
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2 Shotguns: Total War
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Iron Fists: raising the fighty flag
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Leisure Suit Larry: In-YOUR-Endo
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I’m sorry but this phrase is owned by Scrubs.
Our legal team will be over within 48 hours to take your baby and your house.
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Joke’s on them – I have neither.
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Scrubs did not create that phrase.
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Deus Ex: Just pretend the second game never happened.
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Halo: The sequel to the prequel of the sequel
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Reminds me of the excellent “A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcD292xrpjY
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I go to the cinema pretty regularly and I suspect that if they made that into a feature length film it would stand above a lot of what I see.
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Still not a patch on Ubisoft:
http://www.psdisasters.com/2010/09/ubisoft-beware-of-greek-bearing-gifs.html
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Title: Subtitle
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“Sport Federation Year” if you have the license or
“Sport Jargon Term Year” if you don’t (or if you don’t want to use it).
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Red Alert : Same shit with different salad dressing.
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I personally would be head and heels for Metroid : Silence. X-P
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Deus Ex Invisible War: What a Shame
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Unreal Tournament: We totally dropped the ball and sold out, sorry!
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Will we be able to turn off the subtitles?
*badum tsch*
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Vampires – The Masquerade: Not finished yet!
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Videogame Online.
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Game : Accidental Comment Meme
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The Sims 4: Another game where we will make thousands of expansions with things we could have put in the game from the beginning, but we didn’t, because we wanted to make more money. Its not like we don’t have money, cause we got alot, but we are just being greedy.
Wow! That is one long title.
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“World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria.”
Lol. That would be one sucking game.
…
Wait a minute….
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