Eschatoludology: What’s Your Final Game?

By John Walker on May 20th, 2011 at 11:06 am.

Don't forget to look up tomorrow evening!

As we all know by now, it’s Judgment Day tomorrow. And so will begin five months of all sorts of bother, and then the end of the world. Which is a shame. So assuming that you’re not scooped up to heaven, and that the earthquakes and fire raining from the sky will make gaming a little bit tricky as of about 5.30 tomorrow afternoon, we want to know what will be your final game? In the knowledge that time is up, it’s going to be the very last game you ever play. So which one will it be? An absolute favourite you’ve always been meaning to go back to? A classic you never got around to? Maybe a brand new game that you couldn’t afford, but hey – whatever – put it on your credit card! Or just one last raid? Clearly some people will suggest that playing a game isn’t the most appropriate response to facing your final hours, and something about loved ones, but don’t worry about them. What will it be?

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244 Comments »

  1. Nighthood says:

    Probably The Witcher 2, if I’m going to be judged I should be ok, as I’ve been skipping past all the sex scenes. They really are rather awkward, aren’t they?

    • Ultra Superior says:

      how could you resist Ves ?

    • Grape says:

      Why, someone’s just a tiny, litte bit repressed, isn’t (s)he?

    • Nighthood says:

      Perhaps, though it’s more because rigid breasts and awkward animations do not make for a sexy few minutes.

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    • stahlwerk says:

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  2. ImperialCreed says:

    X-Com: Apocalypse.

    It sounds appropriate.

    • Kantorai says:

      I always had a soft spot for Total Annihilation.

    • Peter Radiator Full Pig says:

      The X-Coms are the only choice really. This way Ill get to save the world or watch it burn, on my terms.
      Also get to play prehaps the best PC game I have played.

    • Meatloaf says:

      X-COM would be fairly appropriate and also a good time. Especially the last bit. I need to play more X-COM now. Either that or EVE Online, mainly because of this.

    • Bret says:

      X-Com enforcer.

      That way, the world ending will be a relief.

  3. Forceflow says:

    Daikatana. To prepare me for hell.

  4. Kieron Gillen says:

    I will continue to fail to get the WItcher 2 to load. It’ll be a metaphor for the futility of existence.

    KG

  5. Mashakosha says:

    More than likely I’ll be shopping. God, I hope not. My last game however, will probably be New Vegas.

  6. MrCraigL says:

    Stick and Hoop.

  7. Pyrosity says:

    World of Tanks or Brink, likely.

    • sasayan says:

      WoT has decided that I live in the US, not the EU, so I guess that’s what I won’t be playing.

      Guess I’ll play Robot Unicorn Attack instead.

    • Tusque D'Ivoire says:

      I’ll just listen to Erasure and jump over stars in my head!

    • jon_hill987 says:

      ALLWAAAAAYS!

    • Nick says:

      By decided you mean you picked the US server when given the option?

  8. weego says:

    I think it would have to be a blast through Chrono Trigger, however I’d hope there was time to boot up my PS2 for the first bit of Final Fantasy 10… balls to the rest of the game but the opening sequence with the piano refrain deserves it.

  9. Sheng-ji says:

    I’d finally have the nerve to play Amnesia Dark Descent!

    • dux says:

      And I still won’t. It’s far more terrifying than the Rapture.

      Do your worst, God!

  10. Ace Jon says:

    You can’t pull out this kind of question this early. I need a full afternoon to think about this.

  11. Jumwa says:

    Well I’d cheat your tricky system by playing a good co-op game with my other-half. Maybe shell out for Fable 3 (since it’s the end and all) and give that a whirl. Hey, the world’s going to end tomorrow, might as well be adventurous and roll the dice on a game I’ve never played.

    I will brave the end with such bravado as to make Admiral Nelson blush!

  12. Darkelp says:

    I will be playing L.A. Noire.

    I am going to PC Hell, where it’s all based around Limbo of the Lost and Farmville aren’t I?

  13. Acosta says:

    I would make a few trips for Azeroth to say goodbye, would load some of savegames of Planescape to experience it once again and I think I would try to make quick plays of a good variety in games I have loved all these years.

    • Mirqy says:

      am playing through Planescape again now. Hope I can finish before it all goes rapture-shaped outside. The ending of the game would actually be quite appropriate.

    • rei says:

      What do you mean, “would”? Surely you don’t doubt the word of (a) god?

  14. Theoban says:

    I’ll probably go and play the final sequences of all the games where I’ve got to the end but then given up before the final boss fight or end sequence.
    Bulletstorm, Doom 3, Beyond Good and Evil, , Half-Life, AvP, Crysis, Deus Ex, GTA IV, GTA San Andreas, Serious Sam, Psychonauts, Monkey Island, Planescape, Baldur’s Gate
    Probably others. All games I get far into, then near the end I just quit. Never experienced the endings of those games for myself.

    • Nighthood says:

      If you’re going to finish any of those, finish Psychonauts. It’s such a wonderful game that it deserves to be completed.

      Also, don’t believe what they say, Meat Circus isn’t actually that bad.

    • Meat Circus says:

      I disagree.

    • Squirrelfanatic says:

      Meat Circus beats Hell like Cthulhu beats Jesus.

    • bill says:

      I’m all thumbs and I could complete it without too much trouble. YOu just need to read up on how to get past that annoying “climbing on the wire and avoiding the fire” part. That’s the only hurdle.

      But setting yourself up for a last-days of annoying boss fights seems self-sacrificing enough that you’re sure to get into heaven.

    • SMiD says:

      If you never got to the end fight of Half-Life, you’re probably better off. And for the love of all that’s holy, finish BG, BG2 and ToB.

  15. Pop says:

    Something arty, so I can feel smug and superior in the face of the heavens and earth melting away. In my opinion humility is overrated.

  16. rozpocet1 says:

    I’ll break into Bioware’s office and play anything Mass Effect 3 related. Then I’ll die.

    • KingMudkip says:

      I’ll help. They’re bound to have more than one computer with ME3 stuff loaded on it.
      And if I have time after that (hah!), I’ll break into Valve and get my hands on anything and everything HL3-related.

    • Lacessit says:

      You’d have to take along a save, or you’d end up playing some generic Shep. Or even worse! Fem-shep!

    • manveruppd says:

      That sounds like the plot of Fanboys! Will ME3 be YOUR Phantom Menace? :p

    • rozpocet1 says:

      How could I forget about HL3!!! Noo!!!

  17. Antlia says:

    Brink on the RPS server, hopefully?

  18. Staggy says:

    Psychonauts, the Milkman Conspiracy level especially. I want to be reminded there was some good in the world before the whole condemned to hell lark kicks in.

    • Squirrelfanatic says:

      Wise decision. And Lungfishtopolis.

      Lungfish Civilian: Oh no! Goggalor is headed for the orphanage!
      Lungfish Civilian: [the building gets smashed] No, wait, that wasn’t the orphanage!
      Lungfish Civilian: Oh no, that *was* the orphanage!… for dogs, it was the puppy orphanage everyone!

    • Lacessit says:

      You might actually have me there. Psychonauts. Just to see good old officer O’Lungfish again…

  19. CMaster says:

    If it was planned, I’d probably go buy Portal 2 or The Void.
    If however I continue to just ignore it, odds are it will be either SWAT4, Company of Heroes or Pirates!

  20. kyynis says:

    Chrono Trigger on emulator, obv

  21. Gepetto says:

    Chuckie Egg, on the speccy.

  22. ColOfNature says:

    I was going to start in on The Witcher, as Jim’s WIT has sold me on the sequel and I still haven’t made much headway on the first, but I don’t reckon there’ll be time now. And if the world is going to end I want to face the afterlife with a good mad on, so maybe I’ll go and bang me head against Super Meat Boy for a while to get me good and riled. I like it, but I’m crap at it and it angers me.

    • .backslash says:

      Good idea on SMB. You might want to alternate with VVVVVV for maximum rage.

  23. Antsy says:

    I’m too enraptured with Terraria to even notice anything else.

  24. akemichan88 says:

    Ya’ll can play your last game of your life.

    Imma be save and sound in my Vault. Playing games.

    • luckylad says:

      I’m going to spend my final hours being a grammar nazi. Ya’ll? Are you joking me? If you are going to use a southern dialect at least spell the word right. And there ends my daily dose of rage.

    • Thants says:

      Just a tip, be very careful with your glasses.

  25. fallingmagpie says:

    Ecco the Dolphin.

  26. Matt-R says:

    Psychonauts or Deus Ex of course

    I’ll be comforted in the apocalypse by the soothing sounds of JC’s voice, and seranaded by the beautiful tones of I spill my drink!

    Or the milkman.

    • Squirrelfanatic says:

      “What are the goggles for?”
      “Where is the Milkman?”
      “Where did you get that road sign?”

  27. RLacey says:

    I’ll carry on revising rather than playing games, since not even the end of the world would get me much leniency from the board of examiners…

  28. Stellar Duck says:

    I’´ll keep playing The Withcer 2. What a good game to be my final one.

    No sense in replaying a game I’ve already done, as I imagine hell will be replaying bad games for eternity. So here’s me, anticipating a LOT Big Rigs Racing.

  29. Flibberdy says:

    Doom. Gotta brush up my Demon Murderin’ skills.

    Although it’s more likely to be Terraria as I’ll have lost track of time…

  30. .backslash says:

    Deus Ex, natch. Appropriate on so many levels.

  31. mod the world says:

    That’s easy, i will be playing “The Wonderful End Of The World”.

    • Dzamir says:

      “AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! – A Reckless Disregard for Gravity ” is also appropriate, I don’t want to get sucked in the heaven

    • Sheng-ji says:

      This is perhaps the only moment in history that anyone has ever really and truly wanted a like button

    • Oozo says:

      So,the world ends with you, then?

    • KingMudkip says:

      I see what you did there. ;)

  32. Taverius says:

    Ehhh. Witcher 2 I guess :D

  33. Anguy says:

    Beyond Good and Evil or Jade Empire, both are absolutely great, maybe I’d prefer BGE because Jade is so cute

    • bill says:

      Hey! I just finished Jade Empire.

      Er… that’s about all. But I’m happy someone is talking about it at a time when it’s in my mind… i usually get to games 10 years after everyone forgets them.
      It was cool, and I liked the refreshing setting (though i hoped it’d be even more classic-king-fu-movie).

      Did you think that all the characters (except Hu and mad inventor guy) seemed more like california teenagers than ancient asian villagers though?

  34. Heria says:

    It will be a tie between Leagues of Legend or STALKER, I’m not too fussed about the end of the world, and who’s to say that we do not have computer games where we are going after this?

    • Berzee says:

      See this is what I usually wonder. I do not see a reason to assume that human creativity and invention stops upon arriving in Heaven, since I consider those to be Good Things about humans…so it seems at least not impossible that we will still build things, which may include computing devices.

  35. Cyberpope says:

    I think Darksiders just for the irony.

  36. jon_hill987 says:

    Darksiders. Should get me prepared since I failed the test:
    http://peasandcougars.wordpress.com/2011/05/19/will-you-be-raptured-flowchart/

    EDIT: Cyberpope just beat me to it on the Darksiders thing…

  37. Jabberwocky says:

    Duke Nukem Forever. To ensure hell has frozen over.

    • Ultra Superior says:

      You won’t be able to do this. Ensured by snowball unthawed in the fires of hell by impossible chance.

  38. FCA says:

    Since I’m not likely to be taken up into heaven, the world will end for me on 21st of October, so I still have some time to play more games. Feel sorry for those people going to heaven, never having the opportunity of playing Duke Nukem Forever (still, maybe we will still see pigs fly before that happens. one can hope that that prophecy also comes true).
    Here’s to hoping Diablo 3 will launch in time before the apocalypse.

  39. diebroken says:

    DOOM – co-op.

    • stahlwerk says:

      We’ll ALL be playing this, silly.

      RIP AND TEAR!

    • Quinnbeast says:

      I’m getting dibs on the super shotgun though. I don’t think I’m strong enough to lift any of the others for more than about 10 mins.

  40. Drake Sigar says:

    Big Rigs Over the Hill Racing. By the time I’m done, eternal oblivion won’t seem so bad!

  41. Kdansky says:

    Terraria, or Symphony of the Night which I have recently acquired. I am not going to change my gaming plans because some idiot super-being might want to murder me.

  42. Rich says:

    Guess I shouldn’t have bothered buying that train ticket then. Shit.

  43. F4T C4T says:

    Bioshock. Purely to be in Rapture for The Rapture.

  44. Ralphomon says:

    Probably Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup, and no doubt my last run before I’m conspicuously not raised up to the heavens will be one of those ones where you get poisoned and are running around looking for health potions or hoping that you get better as your life slowly ticks away to zero.

  45. Sirico says:

    End of the world huh? Is opening 10 Redtube pages a game or just an affront to the lord?

  46. Robert says:

    Episode 3.

    • Robert says:

      To add: I didn’t want to add anything to it, because it will drown in a causality discussion one way or the other. The chicken or the egg. But clearly, the release dates for it coincide.

    • KingMudkip says:

      Clearly.

  47. Moni says:

    I still haven’t finished Fallout 3, ooh, I also have to find all the audio diaries in Bioshock. That’s two vaguely topical games I have to play before the end times!

  48. Spacewalk says:

    Hexen. Or Mount & Blade whilst I ride to Valhalla.

    • 7rigger says:

      I’ll be doing M&B as well :) I’ll reach heaven on the mountain of corpses beside the SINGLE LADDER into a castle!

      *Edit: I cannot spell today. I shall stop posting and offending everyone’s eyes. Enjoy the rapture!

  49. Anthile says:

    Sacrifice, of course.

  50. Flobulon says:

    Oh FFS, what was the point of doing all these exams if I’m not even gonna get the grades for them.
    Actually, d’you reckon God is qualified to mark A-Level exam papers?

    Also, Starcraft II. If it was the only game I owned I’d probably be in Diamond.

    • Temple to Tei says:

      “Actually, d’you reckon God is qualified to mark A-Level exam papers?”

      No, but that never stopped me :)