By Alec Meer on May 24th, 2011 at 1:09 pm.
Yes, you’re asleep. Yes, this is a dream. There can’t be any other explanation for this: the game that shouldn’t be, couldn’t be, is. After over a decade in development, multiple project reboots, all the crazy promises in the world, the closure of its original developer, a shock resurrection at the hands of the Borderlands/Brothers In Arms devs and another, final delay for luck, Duke Nukem Forever is finished. Yes indeed, Gearbox Software have announced that the infamous shooter has gone gold today. It’s actually gone gold. It’s coming to a PC near you next month.
Or at least it would be, were this not a dream. (It’s not a dream). (Or is it?) (It isn’t). (Or is it?)
24/05/2011 at 13:10 Grinterloper says:
I could not don’t want to have not wanting what I like but this is not only not not good but it is also.
24/05/2011 at 13:58 The Tupper says:
Reply fail
24/05/2011 at 14:00 Donjonson says:
That’s my momma!
24/05/2011 at 14:54 gorgol says:
A new meme is born?
24/05/2011 at 15:08 LionsPhil says:
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
24/05/2011 at 15:19 magnus says:
I’m begining to feel like that guy in ‘that’ scene in Scanners must have felt. Ouch!
24/05/2011 at 15:35 BAReFOOt says:
Ist irgendwer wirklich weit gewesen,
sogar wenn entschieden sogar gehen zu wollen
um mehr auszusehen wie zu benutzen?
Now back on topic: As long as I don’t personally have played the game through, it doesn’t exist.
I still expect there to be no actual game sales and it just being a big joke.
Or if not, there being nothing in the boxes.
Or if not, there being nothing on the DVDs / in the downloaded files.
Of if not, there just being a menu screen, and that’s it.
Or if not, the game suddenly crashing in the middle of the second level, where most people would exit shortly before, to call it “real”.
Or the end being a lie! ;)
24/05/2011 at 20:34 Sly-Delvecchio says:
I’ve played it – at Gadget Show Live Pro. They remade the final boss of the original Duke Nukem 3D – that’s what I played. It was ok. I got my photo with Duke though, which was better.
24/05/2011 at 23:37 tyrsius says:
@LionsPhil
I have no clue what you are trying to say. I could not concoct any combination of punctuation to make your sentence understandable. Why are you sharing your drugs with the rest of us?
24/05/2011 at 13:11 vandinz says:
It isn’t not a dream?
24/05/2011 at 13:11 Raziel_aXd says:
After 12 fucking years… and a one-month delay. Also, the world should have ended on saturday.
24/05/2011 at 13:16 Urael says:
Duke kicked the rapture in the ass. He’s that awesome.
24/05/2011 at 13:59 The Tupper says:
Indeed, Urael: When God tries to rapture Duke, Duke pulls Him down to earth instead.
24/05/2011 at 19:53 Tei says:
What you say? the world ended the saturday. I think thats the whole point of it.
All real programmers got a ticket to the heavens.
Here on earth only stay the poor programmers :-/
24/05/2011 at 13:12 Pani says:
This smells a funny colour…
24/05/2011 at 13:13 Twilightx says:
We have to go deeper
24/05/2011 at 13:20 kalle says:
I only registered to write this, but you were faster :/
24/05/2011 at 13:14 Richie Shoemaker says:
Gone gold. Now there’s a phrase I’ve not heard since…
24/05/2011 at 13:14 Drake Sigar says:
*Waves hands mysteriously*
24/05/2011 at 13:14 Kdansky says:
The real question is: Will there be a sequel?
24/05/2011 at 13:16 Grinterloper says:
No there will be a reboot and a trading card series.
24/05/2011 at 13:28 The Hammer says:
Sure! Next year!
24/05/2011 at 20:37 RalphORama says:
Don’t forget the horrible movie spinoff, followed by a TV show spun off of one of the movie’s minor characters.
24/05/2011 at 13:15 Lobotomist says:
I fear for end of the world
24/05/2011 at 13:15 WeeMadAndo says:
Didn’t this happen once before in August 2001, before they announced that they were delaying it to remove the WTC sequences?
24/05/2011 at 13:18 pipman3000 says:
they’ll probably have to remove the “sell everything you own and quit your job in preparation for the rapture” mini-game.
24/05/2011 at 14:26 obvioustroll says:
Dealyed again to remove the Ryan Giggs references.
24/05/2011 at 14:31 Teddy Leach says:
I can’t Imogen why.
24/05/2011 at 13:17 Protagoras says:
THE RAPTURE, IT IS UPON US!
REPENT, YOU WRETCHES OF HUMANITY. REAPPEEEAAANNTTT!!!
24/05/2011 at 13:45 Gap Gen says:
Yeah, I was about to say how many people said that Duke Nukem Forever wouldn’t release until Jesus came down and Raptured everyone.
24/05/2011 at 13:17 Makariel says:
What is a Duke Nukem?
24/05/2011 at 13:21 Hunam says:
He’s the foot up your ass.
24/05/2011 at 15:22 Ikkusei says:
He’s the reason you’re all out of gum.
24/05/2011 at 16:02 godgoo says:
he’s the guy shitting down your neck.
24/05/2011 at 16:21 Nim says:
He is the object of your fangirlish affections.
24/05/2011 at 18:10 TsunamiWombat says:
He’s the king, baby.
25/05/2011 at 03:18 ColOfNature says:
^^ Give these people a round of applause.
24/05/2011 at 13:20 Dinger says:
You think this is a dream? Wait till next month, when they release the E-Book “Duke Nukem Forever: the Final Decades”, in 10-volumes tipping the scales at 14 gigs.
Birthpangs of the Antichrist.
24/05/2011 at 13:22 Stormtamer says:
It’s like a dream within a dream! Is Duke Nukems release just Inception planted in our minds, to believe that it’s actually being released?????
24/05/2011 at 13:25 VelvetFistIronGlove says:
After 14 years of wanking, Duke Nukem finally came.
24/05/2011 at 13:25 Lewie Procter says:
I’ll believe it when I am playing it.
24/05/2011 at 14:23 Meat Circus says:
IT IS A CLEANSING FIRE THAT BURNS TONIGHT.
24/05/2011 at 13:26 Shadrach says:
I think the whole “Gone Gold” PR thing is complete bullshit. Either its finished testing and you release it, or its not, and you don’t. Saying something’s “Gold” and releasing in a month is just confusing to the consumer. Why can’t it be like albums, where going gold or platinum is an indication of how much something sells. But no, the games industry would like to keep sales private…
24/05/2011 at 13:38 jwrayth says:
“Gone Gold” actual refers to the Golden Master build of a game that is sent off for mass production, and has nothing to do with PR or sales. It means they’ve reached a stable point they (and platform partners such as Microsoft and Sony) are happy to begin mass production of the game from.
Funny thing, but mass printing of the game disc for all the different platforms/regions takes time, hence why titles tend to go gold 30 or so days before they hit the shelves. Unless ofcourse you’ve invented a method of printing and distributing a physical game disc worldwide the same day the game is RTM ready, you should stop complaining :)
EDIT:
Spelling mistakes and updating to specifically reference physical distribution to make Shadrach happy :)
24/05/2011 at 13:39 Xocrates says:
Going gold means the game is finished and they can start copying the DVDs prior to shipping. Hence why it usually takes about a month between “going gold” and actual release.
While announcing it to the public is more or less useless, it’s not hard to understand why they do it for particularly anticipated titles, especially ones with plenty of delays and development time.
EDIT: ninja’d
24/05/2011 at 13:45 Shadrach says:
@jwrayth: A system like that already exists, it’s called “digital distribution” :) (I didn’t invent it mind)
24/05/2011 at 13:54 jwrayth says:
@Shadrach
No need to be a smart-ass when it’s quite clear what I was talking about :) If you want to argue “Digital releases shouldn’t have to wait for physical release dates, I want my games nao!” that’s a different topic, I just wanted to correct your understanding of the term “going gold”.
24/05/2011 at 16:29 Urael says:
jwrayth: You’ve misunderstood.
Shadrach’s point wasn’t that he didn’t understand what ‘going gold’ meant. He just wondered why this is such a big event in gaming, that PR teams latch on to and proudly shout at us….like in the article above: “The game’s gone gold!”. We consumers still can’t play it so why do game publishers still believe this is big news? How does it affect us, except to say “that game you want…it’s almost released!”, something any idiot with a release date and a calendar can work out for themselves.
24/05/2011 at 17:16 Redcoat-Mic says:
Because it’s a huge deal?
It’s one thing to say it’s about to be released but once it’s sent off for printing, well that’s a step, little chance of turning back now.
24/05/2011 at 18:29 ZamFear says:
Because delays are so common that release dates don’t mean anything. Especially where Duke is concerned.
24/05/2011 at 22:51 ResonanceCascade says:
Going gold isn’t really a big deal any more, and usually isn’t even mentioned.
But when the game that just went gold is called Duke Nukem Forever, yes, you’re going to hear about it.
24/05/2011 at 13:27 poop says:
this means that in only a few short months people will shut up about this game again :D
24/05/2011 at 13:49 bwion says:
Wow, you really are dreaming.
24/05/2011 at 18:03 Dreamhacker says:
I imagine people will celebrate the incredible 10-year letdown, yes.
24/05/2011 at 13:29 mbp says:
There is a pre-release gamelet you can play already called “Duke Nudem”.
Apparently. So I have heard.
I do hope this isn’t an indication that Gearbox are going to try and sell DNF on naughtiness alone. Schoolboy humour will guarantee them a bit of free advertising from Fox News and the Daily Mail but I really hope there is a good game underneath it all.
Duke 3D was a great game, the naughtiness just added a few laughs.
24/05/2011 at 13:31 poop says:
the game is a halo clone underneath the 2008 graphics and the sex jokes ;)
24/05/2011 at 13:40 jconnop says:
All this time in the making only to be thwarted (with regard to getting my money) by regional pricing nonsense. I don’t care how long your game has been in development, I’m not paying $80 USD for it (NZ/Australia).
Needs more No Oceans ™.
24/05/2011 at 13:44 poop says:
pirate it
25/05/2011 at 06:50 viverravid says:
Free VPN services like FlyVPN are your friend when it comes to defeating IP Geolocation. Have not suffered any au zone nonsense on Steam since I discovered this.
24/05/2011 at 13:45 poop says:
im hella pumped for the first acess club demo to come out so i can finally say that ive pirated a demo
24/05/2011 at 13:53 ananachaphobiac says:
It didn’t happen. I refuse to believe it!
24/05/2011 at 14:01 Quizboy says:
It’s gone ‘polished turd’, surely. If we’re being honest.
24/05/2011 at 15:10 LionsPhil says:
From what footage has been released, I’m not sure it’s so much “polished” as “cheaply laminated”.
24/05/2011 at 15:49 Bhazor says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiJ9fy1qSFI
A shined turd? No where near as shiny.
24/05/2011 at 14:03 Teddy Leach says:
Oh em gee wuh tuh fuh bar beh cue?
24/05/2011 at 14:21 Arithon says:
What were they waitn’ for? Christmas?
24/05/2011 at 14:37 frenz0rz says:
Must… resist… buying Balls of Steel edition….
24/05/2011 at 14:58 manveruppd says:
I am more moved than I probably should be.
Hail to the king baby!
24/05/2011 at 14:58 ChaosSmurf says:
They should have sent a poet.
24/05/2011 at 14:58 BathroomCitizen says:
Duke, my long-time friend, welcome back to your home!
24/05/2011 at 15:00 Tretiak says:
Will it be available on Phantom console?
24/05/2011 at 15:02 msarge says:
I just can’t wait until Gearbox is done messing around with this probably half baked Duke Nukem game and get on with making a sequel to Borderlands.
24/05/2011 at 15:25 Rii says:
It’s Colonial Marines for me, but I hear you. It’ll be good when this thing is finally buried. I mean, nobody’s actually expecting it to be any good, right?
24/05/2011 at 16:09 Nim says:
Don’t be an ass, Rii.
24/05/2011 at 16:34 Urael says:
Oh ye of little faith. Tut.
It’s not going to represent 14 years of continuous, loving development, and I’m worried many on the Internet are going to judge it by that incredibly dumb yardstick, but there’s no reason to doom-n-gloom it to death before anyone’s had a chance to play it.
Hail to the King, baby.
24/05/2011 at 16:41 Kaira- says:
“I mean, nobody’s actually expecting it to be any good, right?”
I am, but I don’t really count, do I?
24/05/2011 at 22:39 Rii says:
Apparently not.
24/05/2011 at 15:57 Prince says:
“This is not a dream. We are using your brain’s electrical system as a receiver. We are unable to transmit through conscious neural interference. You are receiving this broadcast as a dream. We are transmitting from the year *fzzzt* Duke Nukem will be released…”
24/05/2011 at 16:05 Tretiak says:
Great film.
24/05/2011 at 15:58 sk2k says:
Can i buy DLC on release day? Jetpacks in different sizes maybe?
25/05/2011 at 03:53 Spacewalk says:
Extra weapon slots.
24/05/2011 at 16:08 Nim says:
We have now passed from one era in gaming to the next one.
24/05/2011 at 16:10 int says:
Bully!
24/05/2011 at 16:13 KigKoo says:
Wow, I absolutely cannot wait to get my hands on this game! Wow.
http://www.privacy-online.us.tc
24/05/2011 at 16:28 Teddy Leach says:
Wow.
24/05/2011 at 16:41 Kaira- says:
Paying to pirate? Erm, ok then.
24/05/2011 at 17:03 Huw Dawson says:
Bot, or self-promoter. :\ Beats the spammers though!
24/05/2011 at 17:16 Zelius says:
Oh my God! But using this you can Erase Internet Tracks! Anonymous Web Surfing!! Prevent Identity Theft!!! Protect your E-mail from Spammer!?!?
Except you could, you know, do this yourself?
24/05/2011 at 18:11 TsunamiWombat says:
Wow, I cannot wait to have my personal information stolen by this service! Wow
24/05/2011 at 18:11 Alien Rope Burn says:
Can the fact this is coming out stop being a big deal, now?
I mean we’ve known this is coming from a reputable developer for ages now.
Yes, it was in dev limbo for a good while. That’s old news, now. The fact it is coming out is not some sort of triumph or event. The proof will be in the play, of course, but can we stop trumpeting its release to the heavens?
24/05/2011 at 19:23 CTRL-ALT-DESTROY says:
Dude, it’s news. Whether or not you personally give a shit doesn’t change the fact.
26/05/2011 at 01:36 Thants says:
It’s wasn’t in dev limbo for a good while, it was in dev limbo for longer than any other game ever. That’s what makes this notable.
24/05/2011 at 18:17 Iokanaan says:
Now, Duke, that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then, there’s a lot about the Duke that don’t make a whole lot of sense to me. for instance: can anyone explain why ‘The Duke’ is considered to be almost almighty? or is any protagonist from a decade+ delayed game to be released any time soon so potent he must be scrumptulescent?
26/05/2011 at 01:27 The Colonel says:
He was cool when we were all 15 so he must still be cool now. Stands to reason.
24/05/2011 at 18:37 McBeeferton says:
Obligatory: Hail to the king, baby.
I can’t wait to see how this game is received.
24/05/2011 at 19:12 Daiv says:
And lo, the Fifth Age of Gaming began. Wise men shall feel awe, wonder, bliminity, and frippiness at the signs in the heavens.
24/05/2011 at 19:13 Skystrider says:
This just in: the world ends 10th of June. The flying spaghetti monster demands it.
24/05/2011 at 19:21 FuzzieBoy says:
Something tells me this game won’t score too high on reviews… Don’t take this as hating, I already pre-ordered the collectors edition, but the FPS genre has evolved so much, and I don’t think many reviewers will get the old skool fun thing :( However, from most of the previews I have seen, they say that the game feels mediocre, but they were having so much fun that they didn’t care! I just hope the game hasn’t sacrificed much to make itself seem modern… that would ruin the point of Duke!
24/05/2011 at 19:42 Tatourmi says:
I shall, from now on, begin counting the years from the release of the Duke onwards.
24/05/2011 at 20:41 RalphORama says:
Can’t wait for the hardcore Christians, female rights activists, and fear-mongering politicians to latch on to this game as a reason to ban video games forever.
25/05/2011 at 11:34 Ajh says:
Argh women’s rights activists don’t want video games banned. At least none that I know. Then again all the ones I know play games, so the sample I have might be a bit biased.
Right now in my case at least, I’m more amused that it’s actually getting released than anything else. I mean, this thing had reached meme status on the internet almost.
24/05/2011 at 21:49 Nim says:
Did notoriously finish.
25/05/2011 at 00:38 Wooly says:
There are those who said this day would never come. What have they to say now?
25/05/2011 at 11:28 Ajh says:
They left on saturday. It was the rapture, you know.
25/05/2011 at 02:22 rhade2k@gmail.com says:
..nah, I’m dreaming.
25/05/2011 at 12:23 RegisteredUser says:
Coming out with 2 weapons swap = no buy until this changes.
Boycott the rot!
25/05/2011 at 14:13 Frosty says:
They’re waiting for you Duke. In the test chamberrrrrrr.
What?
25/05/2011 at 14:46 Dances to Podcasts says:
The game is a lie.
26/05/2011 at 02:30 noclip says:
We’ve already moved on. Black Mesa is the new DNF.
26/05/2011 at 12:13 pamlstano says:
I have played this game once with my friends. It was not interesting as i believed from their graphics and posters. All the characters looks fake and worth. Hope that this game never come back for its new series.
Kitchens