Play This Game: Japan World Cup

By Quintin Smith on May 26th, 2011 at 11:05 pm.

*heroic trumpet blare*

The following was just sent in to the RPS twitter account by a Mr. GibletHead2000:

‘You really need to cover “Japan World Cup“. GOTY? Probably. Japanese, but you’ll figure it out.’

He’s right, you know. On all counts. And that’s all I’m willing to say about it. Don’t worry if you don’t speak a word of Japanese, just go and place your bets in the Japan World Cup.

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111 Comments »

  1. Tacroy says:

    What.

  2. MiniTrue says:

    I played it. The Witcher 2 was better.

  3. DeathHamsterDude says:

    Yup. It’s Japanese alright. Tandem horses, Elvis Presley horse hairstyle. check and check.

  4. a.nye.123 says:

    So, I think I bet on a horse with a huge blonde quiff and chopper handles. I was second right up till a dominatrix somehow made all the other jockeys strip and stand on their horses, gyrating.

    Huh.

  5. pakoito says:

    I thought it’s for wii. I was watching it on youtube lol

  6. Premium User Badge

    Daiv says:

    I don’t speak or read Japanese. Can someone tell me what I am supposed do with the thing that looks a bit like a snake eating the world? It tries to bite the cursor and when I click on it someone delivers fish to my door.

  7. Hardtarget says:

    i somehow was able to fumble my way into a race

    that was uhh..

    that was something

  8. Kaira- says:

    I have absolutely no idea what is going on. Elephant with horse-head on its trunk? What.

    What.

  9. Will Tomas says:

    PLACE BETS NOW…

    BANZAI!!!

  10. President Weasel says:

    I have no idea what is going on, but my god I could not stop laughing at the “horses”

  11. pakoito says:

    Also, volume 3: http://www.jra-jwc.jp/vol3/

    • tridash says:

      and, remarkably enough, as well as vols 2 and 3 there’s also volume 1:
      http://www.jra-jwc.jp/vol1/

    • Premium User Badge

      Hammers says:

      Seriously, Vol3 had everyone in my office dying of laughter. Go, bet, laugh, die happy. That is all I can say.

      Thanks Japan.

      Thapan.

    • lokimotive says:

      Ninja Sniper is my favorite, though I don’t understand why he often turns into what appears to be a tree stump.

    • malkav11 says:

      Ninjas turn into tree stumps all the time. They’re just that sneaky. (No, really. It’s a ninja trope.)

    • lokimotive says:

      Well that explains that, but it still doesn’t really help him win does it?

    • jonrod2020 says:

      its giving me a 404 :(

  12. Premium User Badge

    Nero says:

    So the first two races the same thing happened, the horse doing the pirouette won and the third time the panda turned into umm robot playing some tune and beating everyone right at the end. I need to lay down..

    • jealouspirate says:

      Really? In my race the elephant grabbed his rider with his trunk and starting flinging him around in a whirlwind, sending all the other ‘horses’ flying and winning the race.

  13. westyfield says:

    YES THAILAND! I knew I could count on you!
    I don’t actually know if I bet on you, but I supported your elephant all the way. Even when he used the jockey and his trunk as a propeller.

  14. mbp says:

    “Elvis Presley horse hairstyle”

    Oddly enough that wasn’t the first thought that sprung to my mind. Odd looking beast but a cracking racehorse. Won me 480 potatoes in my first race so I will hear nothing against him. Sadly the graphics gave up on me half way through the race so I had to content myself with listening to his victory in Japanese.

  15. edwardoka says:

    I have no idea what just happened…

  16. McDan says:

    This was…strange. But fun!

    • McDan says:

      In volume 3 the dominatrix’s have a very unfortunate riding position. Defiinetely GOTY 2011, expect to see this on the RPS o’ calender at the end of the year.

  17. xfxian says:

    WTF did i just play?

  18. Fiatil says:

    This may be the greatest thing ever.

  19. pakoito says:

    What strikes me odd is that pretty much all of us have been able to play the game despite not knowing japanese.

  20. fallingmagpie says:

    I’m great at this game. I somehow managed to bet on who’d come first and second (French S&M looking chick, dude on normal horse who turns out to run sideways on two legs) and they did! Netting me like a million points or something.

    That panda can shift, though.

  21. jymkata says:

    I’m blind drunk and what is this?

  22. PanzerVaughn says:

    I desperately want to call all of your bluffs, and claim youre all making this stuff up.
    But.. it IS japanesse, so you could be serious.
    >_<

    • McDan says:

      Oh my god it’s amazing, my panda is too damn slow though. The men on the tandem horse are dancing on the horse, there’s a man tap dancing on a horse which is also tap dancing. the elephant is going mental. MY PANDA WENT MENTAL AT THE END OF THE RACE AND WON IT FOR ME, YES!
      This is the game.

    • RoXoR says:

      same scenario for me, god bless you robot panda

  23. Linfosoma says:

    Video of this gem in action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vNRcsNqNi8

  24. westyfield says:

    While we’re still in crazy Japanese mode, here’s RPS’s beloved Robot Unicorn Attack combined with Nyan Cat.
    http://www.nyanicorn.com/

    You’re welcome.

  25. Premium User Badge

    Man Raised by Puffins says:

    Bastard Americans and their rocket propelled horse anuses. :(

  26. Saiwyn says:

    I bet all of my money on “Pee Pee Doughnut” and he came in second to last only in front of the fake horse made of a barrel and two dudes in brown body suits.
    What.
    The.
    Damn that Pee Pee Doughnut.

  27. HexagonalBolts says:

    why does France where high heals while riding?

  28. sonofajoiner says:

    I…I mean…I didn’t even know who I was supposed to be cheering for. There was a horse made from an oil drum & then the double jockey horse turned into a rocket whilst its riders Russian danced on its back…and the elephant was…wow. Just…..wow.

  29. RagingLion says:

    I think the guy on the panda I bet on got shot – errant poacher?! The little pony then jumped from ‘horse’ to ‘horse’ to win (including doing the can-can with the 2 guys on the horse).

  30. Premium User Badge

    jaheira says:

    My God that was amazing. The Panda turned mechanical in my race and just beat the elephant/horse with rotating rider. What the hell was the sexy French horse up to? Genius. I’m ‘avin another go.

  31. Freud says:

    How do you like them apples, Cassie?

  32. Vern says:

    http://www.jra-jwc.jp/vol2/wp/1280×1024/f843a2c7c551e47729abb0323fbd9c2946204eb9.jpg

    I believe I’ve just won the internet.jp. I’m going home now.

    • Jad says:

      Right-click, “Set As Desktop Background”.

      How did you find that pic? Any other resolutions available?

  33. wruscle says:

    Oh yeah. Fumbled through picking the Panda to win, Frenchy to place. Panda rockets in the stretch, Frenchy edges out Hind Legs Head Jockey for a photo finish second. 36 to 1 payout. Loved it and will never ever play it again. Because how could I go anywhere but down?

  34. cookie says:

    My day has just been made.

  35. Malawi Frontier Guard says:

    I learned the Japanese word for fanfare is fanfare.

  36. Jad says:

    Thank you so much for that Quinns. Had a bit of a shitty day, and to come home and be able to laugh like that was wonderful.

    My thought process while playing:

    This is a long loading time.
    Okay, all in Japanese, but I can fumble my way through the menus somehow.
    One of the horses is American. Feeling patriotic, I’ll scroll through until I get to that one.
    Japanese, French, Japanese … wait, does that horse have a buffont hairstyle …
    What the — American horse is an elongated tandem horse?
    Australian pony got a giggle, elephant a chuckle.
    Race starts. My Americans start doing that Russian dance on the horse’s back. This is getting better every second.
    A horse starts running on its hind legs, forelegs swinging back and forth in the most ludicrous manner possible. I’m genuinely laughing now.
    Elvis horse is basically a motorcycle, elephant is going crazy, oh my god that horse is doing pirouettes, go go crazy Russian Americans, no no I’m losing but I can’t stop laughing …
    HOLY SHIT American horse has a rocket up its ass and zooms to the front and I’m doubled up roaring with uncontrollable laughter.
    I won! This game won! RPS won! It’s a beautiful day!

    Thank you again for that.

  37. Thule says:

    I was really sad when my Elvis Presley horse dropped out of the race and seconds later both horse and rider returned in a pink race car and proceded to win the race.

    Surprise, wonder, excitement, drama, glory.

    GOTY 2011.

  38. Renfield says:

    I’ve been reading RPS for over 4 years, and I’ve just registered to say ‘thank you’. Because if THIS weren’t enough to make me register, I honestly don’t know what would – or could – be. Edit: Sadly, Elvis chopper-horse dashed my hopes.

  39. Tams80 says:

    Tandem horse…, actually I won’t ruin the rest, but this game is just utter epic.

    EDIT: I was losing and then and then… my mind just can’t take this!

  40. Kandon Arc says:

    I bet on the Australian hobbit mounted on a pony. I was beginning to think that was a bad move until it jumped from ‘horse’ to ‘horse’ and bounced right into first! Huzzah!

  41. Vinraith says:

    I’m really not sure we have a sufficiently strong grasp of the long term genetic effects of exposure to nuclear weapons…

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      If that’s what this is, I say BRING ON ARMAGEDDON!

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      What are you talking about? The game is RIGHT THERE.

    • Danorz says:

      nuclear bombs are hilarious guys! i want everyone to stop doing this right now.

  42. President Weasel says:

    I mean, it’s obviously just one of those “bet on a horse, game chooses random horse to win and then does some animation to go with it” type games, but the production values, and the joyful whimsy that has gone into the character design (or the great many man hours of hard work to simulate same; either way I laughed like muttley a good few times) make it a lovely, pleasing thing.

    What a find. Good work, finder of thing.

  43. mazzratazz says:

    I lost it when they started Russian dancing.

  44. OctaneHugo says:

    I think I won because my horse finished the race by doing a moving-360 rotation.

  45. Premium User Badge

    Durkonkell says:

    Man, I haven’t laughed this hard for a while. And having played about 12 races I STILL HAVEN’T WON A PENNY!

    Also WHAT THE HELL WHAT EVEN IS THIS MY BRAIN OW etc.

  46. Rii says:

    I won my first race, a nose ahead of Elvis-horse in his pink convertible. Aussie Aussie Aussie!

  47. skinlo says:

    I pressed some random buttons and doubled my money! Good stuff :D

  48. Kemuel says:

    Far too late at night for me to be forcing my brain to work now but if people want I can do some translating for you all tomorrow morning.

    From the sounds of things, some of the descriptions of these horses are absolutely hilarious.

    I’ll get to it once I’ve had some sleep. Guess this technically constitutes revision for my exam next week.. ^^;

    • Tams80 says:

      I sort of would like you to, but then part of the charm is not understanding it (from a language perspective, don’t even go on to the rest). I’m also not sure it would translate well (the humour that is).

      Ah, what the hell! Please, pretty please translate it!

  49. Bret says:

    I bet on America and won.

    Glorious victory!

  50. Spider Jerusalem says:

    Well the dominatrix got naked and I won.

    Pretty standard Thursday.