Hail To The Thing: On The Duke Nukem Demo

By Alec Meer on June 3rd, 2011 at 2:43 pm.

All those years and they couldn't create two different character models? Oh, wait, I see.

Duke Nukem? He’s a goddamned wimp. Gets wrecked on just one can of beer, can’t push a cart up a small hill unless he takes everything out of it first, can’t travel across a desert without his precious car, and he plays with human excretion. He’s back, in a 1.5Gb, two-level demo released today but only to people who preordered Duke Nukem Forever or bought specific editions of Borderlands – and apparently he’s a massive wuss.

Wait. Waiiiiiiiiiiit. I just played Duke Nukem Forever. What is this I don’t even

I call this an anti-demo, because it’s not actually demonstrating the game in order to help you decide whether or not you’re buying it. Instead, it’s a demo you get if you have already paid for Duke Nukem Forever. Or for Borderlands: Game of the Year Edition. Either way, this isn’t a demo in the classical sense – it’s a prized goodie that you pay for, an event in and of itself.

Still: I just played Duke Nukem Forever. It’s a bewildering thing to say, even after a good six months of knowing the game was actually, finally, truly happening. Here’s what I made of it.

It’s two levels, both of which have I believe been previewed by assorted press previously. The first is the introductory one, and specifically the reintroduction of Duke himself. He’s a nasal-sounding, self-important hulk, hero-worshipped by himself and by a handful of beat-up soldiers hanging around the locker room the game starts in, and he takes extreme pleasure from base acts such as urination, insulting people, leching at women and, now infamously, picking up faeces and throwing it around. He’s an ape, essentially. He’s Duke Nukem, and you already know him well. Whether this entertains, disgusts or simply disinterests you may well depend entirely on whether you grew up with and are already fond of the Duke persona. It’s not, in the demo at least, at all an evolved one, and in fact the stepping up of its gleeful gratuitousness most evoked the Postal games to my mind, but with the genuinely sociopathic edges filed off.

The simple physics demo in the introductory level – turd-throwing and scrawling on a whiteboard with all the fluidity of an etch-a-sketch – seems to fade away fast, in favour of a shooter that’s probably most comparable to the better bits of Quake IV, but a whole lot more over the top and gung-ho. The first level segues into a scripted boss battle, in which you hammer bullets at a giant cyclops thing standing in football stadium, while an overhead helicopter drops ammo packs for you. This setpiece’s primary purpose is to demonstrate that Duke is the badass to end all badasses or whatever, the giant thing offering him essentially zero threat and him gleefully finishing it off with a very simple quicktime event that results in dropkicking its giant eyeball over a distant goalpost. After an unending orgy of self-celebration up until that point, it’s a relief to see Duke actually do something to demonstrate quite why he loves himself so much.

Cut to a carefully censored blowjob scene and more self-celebration. I didn’t laugh, but nor was I outraged – it simply seemed neither funny or titillating to me. I don’t have any objection to crudity, it just didn’t seem like very good crudity, and far too lost in navel-gazing adulation of the character rather than having real jokes of its own. If you’re gonna go for it, go for it, but lame innuendo and dated-looking character models is not the stuff that shocks are made of. Still, I did giggle at the awe-struck amazement of a waiting soldier as Duke/I scribbled illegible, feckless gibberish on the whiteboard earlier – the clearest hint given that the game was indeed laughing at itself as well as slapping itself on the back. I hope there’s more of that.

Finally, it’s the off to the game itself, with the bold, bold choice of a desert setting. Duke starts off in his own gaudy monster truck, in a canyon-coasting, ramp-jumping section which seems more than a little like the buggy sections in Borderlands. It doesn’t last long – the thing abruptly runs out of gas at a scripted point, leaving Duke on foot and in search of fuel.

It proves itself a decent enough combat game at this point – shooting pop-up pig-men with a rapidly wide array of weapons (pistol, shotgun, machinegun, railgun, rocketlauncher and the entertaining but not especially useful shrinkray), followed by a quickie skirmish against a gunship, rendered extremely simple thanks to an indestructible shed to hide inside.

It’s a little like Call of Duty, but sillier (though only just, depending on which CoD you’re talking about) and much more sci-fi (though only just, depending on which CoD you’re talking about). It’s fine! It’s scripted up the wazoo, but things explode spectacularly, the environments are large and pseudo-open in appearance, though of course your path is actually A-B, and it piles on plenty enough bad guys to feel both challenged and a hard-nut. One enemy is much the same as the next, however, very much in the CoD idiom again, and the demo level didn’t offer me anything in the way of air-punching, memorable moments. The railgun’s a fun time, limbs pop off with messy satisfaction and it doesn’t have the air of a cramped corridor shooter; obviously it couldn’t ever, possibly live to up noise it’s made over 12 years, but apart from the dreadful running animation the demo is pretty comparable to today’s console shooters, and not some miserable little retrograde mess. Half-Life 2 knocks it into a cocked hat, but then wasn’t that always going to be the case?

Next, it’s off to some underground tunnels, as Duke uses a spot of physics to push a mine cart filled with non-exploding barrels around a small track. Only when faced with a pretty gentle hill, he can’t do it – unless he takes all three barrels out first. Wimp! Once done, he can climb in himself, release the brake and do an Indy-style hurtle across a ravine. A little more of this and he finds his way to the fabled fuel can, which triggers a swarm of ugly spidery things. He shoots them, has another on-rails experience as his cart bursts overground and along an impossible, rollercoaster-like track patrolled by easily splatted pigmen, then he’s back to his car and the end of the demo.

It’s fine. It’s a first-person shooter in the manner we’re all terribly familiar with, with some confidently excessive setpieces, a spot of gentle bad language and lad’s mag lustiness peppered on top. I would question the logic of using a desert level for the demo (how many times have we been there?), but maybe the point is to normalise expectations rather than expect something mythical.

It’s fine. The demo is fine – it’s got a reasonable amount of variety, it only looks about three or four years old and it’s clearly very much enjoying existing. It’s fine. But nothing more than that. The full game I very obviously can’t speak for, though the trailer that ends the demo suggests a cavalcade of bigger, brasher, more impressive setpieces in environments that aren’t brown and bland, so I look forward to giving that stuff a try. Can’t say I’m expecting to especially be on tenterhooks for the next two weeks going on this, however. That said, my interest in it is purely as a new videogame to assess, not as a new, long-awaited Duke Nukem product – if you’re someone who’s been breathlessly anticipating it for ages, you honestly should not bother caring about what I have to say, because we’re looking at it from fundamentally different angles. Duke never having been a franchise that I had strong feelings about, I didn’t have any particular expectations going into the demo, nor do I have any coming out of it. The demo suggests it’s just an average-seeming, slightly dated first-person shooter game with blowjob gags. Good for it.

It’s fine. Still though: Duke gets double-vision and sways all over the place after just one can of beer. What. A. Wimp.

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249 Comments »

  1. Stylosa says:

    It never impressed me at all. I went and recorded a full demo playthough and I’ll slap that up on our youtube channel later on. It pretty much contains all my thoughts on the demo…….not very positive thoughts mind you.

    • Dana says:

      Cliffhanger !

    • Lagwolf says:

      Can wait to see the walk-through.

    • Stylosa says:

      Here we go, walk-through with me talking crap in 1080p :)

    • YourMessageHere says:

      Nice video, thanks. Totally agree – looks appalling. graphically and in terms of design and structure. I always thought DN3D was a good game in gameplay terms for the time, but stylistically it was a one-trick pony trading off the nature of its humour, and now it’s quite clear that the world has moved on.

    • Dworgi says:

      Couldn’t keep watching, because it was just constant whining about literally everything from the word go. I suppose I should expect that from the internet, but your complete dismissal and lack of even attempting to engage with the game got on my nerves after about 3 minutes.

      I’ve been spoiled by Total Biscuit, I reckon.

    • max pain says:

      I watched the video for curiosity, but damn I _had_ to mute you.

    • Tams80 says:

      If you dismiss the game almost from the get-go, then of course you won’t like it. Sure it isn’t brilliant, but:

      a) this is a demo
      b) expectations of many people are far too high (just because it has been years in the making doesn’t mean it will be brilliant. Time does not necessarily equal quality.
      c) there is more than graphics (not that they are terrible)

    • Stylosa says:

      The idea of the recording was to show a full demo playthrough with my honest first impressions. If my commentary poses that much of an issue simply mute the sound! That being said, this is the first real attempt I’ve had at the game commentary style of youtube videos.

      Looking back at the clip a few times now, sure I do bitch and moan about the graphics way to much, and I should highlight other issues and points of interest. I’m sure with more experience I’ll be able to convey my thoughts in more depth rather than falling back on the same topic over and over.

      All this being said, I do feel Duke is lacking in almost every department for a game of this calibre. It simply should be better. The over use of immature humour can be overlooked if you consider the target audience for this game won’t know all that much about the original Duke games. But its as if that’s all this game has, along with its substandard graphics. Graphics do not make the game I 100% agree on that, but when a game has very little to offer beyond its immature humour and outdated fps gameplay mechanics, you’d expect the graphics to be somewhat more fancy!

      However, thanks for the feedback people, helps :)

  2. GallonOfAlan says:

    Sounds exactly like I thought it would be, then. Old school FPS. I never cared for Duke’s macho shite but it never bothered me either, what drew me was the fun gameplay, and wealth of secrets and easter eggs. I suspect the real value of this will be in the mods.

    • Gnoupi says:

      I can understand the value of mods for an open-world game (Morrowind, STALKER, X3): you add new things, new tools, new places to the world.
      I see the value of mods for multiplayer games, tweaking the initial settings to refine the experience.
      I can see the value of mods for a reference engine, in which case mods are mostly reconversion, using the toolset (like things based on HL, HL2).

      But this a mostly single player FPS with apparently a very straightforward path. And from what I read, the engine is an iteration of the Unreal engine.

      So I don’t really understand the statement “I suspect the real value of this will be in the mods.”
      Because I don’t see what mods can really bring here, typically.

    • Kolchak says:

      No this isn’t old school FPS. Old school FPS actually is hard. This is a piss easy game thanks to regenerating health bailing you out at every turn. On the hardest difficulty the game is a cake walk.

      What a disappointing year so far. First Bulletstorm reveals itself to be a linear game and now Duke is just the same crap without the amusing kill with skill gimmick. I just hope ID Software pulls through with Rage. And Serious Sam 3 should be fun.

    • Gnoupi says:

      FPS single player experiences can be challenging with a regenerating health.
      I personally prefer a game which deals with difficulty on a “per scene” basis, and let’s me recover between scenes by regenerating health.

      Regenerating health allows me to focus on the current scene without reaching for the “quicksave/quickload” key every 30 seconds when I find a health pack randomly forgotten on the floor, or when I take too much of a beating which would force me to be at the level designer’s mercy.

      In a survival game like STALKER, where I manage my health with medikits and bandages I buy or scavenge, of course I don’t want a regenerating health. The point is to survive, but I manage my survival with an inventory, not thanks to the level designer.
      In a regular FPS, I prefer “regenerating health” to “oh look, we put health for you here because there is a big fight when you open the door”.

      It’s not a matter of challenge. Only a matter of game design. In a game which does “per scene” saves and health, you don’t have to reach for the quickload/save. And that’s a good thing too. Quick save and quick load are tools which were most welcome at the time when you had to restart the whole level for a mistake. But they have their limit.

    • Wedge says:

      Old school FPS has level design. Like the original DN3D, which had some of the greatest in history. This is just more modern linear FPS trash.

    • Baines says:

      Maybe the Bulletstorm guys should have been making Duke Nukem instead. If you ditched the whole “playing for high score” aspect, Bulletstorm has a Duke Nukem sensibility to its weapons and actions. Shooting people with exploding bolos, rocketing them into the sky, and everything. Throw in a bit more comedy, and make enemies that are meant to be more of a challenge than a high score opportunity, and you’d have the groundwork for a good Duke Nukem game. Make some real levels and some multiplayer, and you’ve done most of the rest. Heck, the godzilla-like theme park level is already kind of like a reverse of the classic Shrink Ray.

      Instead, we have Gearbox making a modern FPS with the Duke license, putting in Duke references not necessarily because they make the game better, but rather just because it is “Duke Nukem”. In that way, it seems a lot like a licensed movie or TV game.

      I’m not sure I have much faith in Serious Sam 3 either, as it looks to have been infected too much by modern FPS design as well. It doesn’t even look that much like a Serious Sam game, rather like Doom 3 or any other generic modern FPS.

    • jyurgin says:

      In regards to Gnoupi or whatever…

      Counterstrike is a mod. So’s Team Fortress.

      l2p noob.

    • DK says:

      “Sounds exactly like I thought it would be, then. Old school FPS.”
      It’s the opposite of Old School FPS. It’s New School Console FPS. Weapon limits, quicktime events, ZERO verticality in levels, complete linearity, no resource management whatsoever because people might have spent 5 minutes shooting away their ammo and then how are they gonna survive the next encounter?

      It’s pretty much a highlights reel of “The Worst of new FPS” with toilet humor by people who didn’t actually get the Duke jokes. The Duke jokes being funny because the game new they weren’t and wasn’t taking it seriously. This actually thinks poop flinging is actually funny.

      Let that sink in: Gearbox thinks poop flinging is actually funny. And cut-away-from-blowjob-so-you-don’t-see-anything is actually edgy.

    • Bremze says:

      @Gnoupi: Its not that people argue that regenerating health itself is bad(those that do shouldn’t be taken seriously). It’s just that it breaks flow and encourages lazy level design. Sitting behind cover and taking potshots in between waiting for your screen to clean off the red blobs isn’t fun. Health packs encouraged pushing further to replenish your health instead of running away and sitting behind cover and waiting.

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      Keymonk says:

      @jyurgin
      Next time, bloody well read his post before you respond. From his post:
      “I can see the value of mods for a reference engine, in which case mods are mostly reconversion, using the toolset (like things based on HL, HL2).”

    • Mman says:

      “Old school FPS has level design. Like the original DN3D, which had some of the greatest in history. This is just more modern linear FPS trash.”

      While I can’t say anything about DNF considering I haven’t played the demo yet. I agree with the general idea here that level design differences is the main thing that distinguishes older FPS games from newer ones for me, and if DNF is the set-piece filled COD style I’d have a hard time calling it “old school” however much I enjoyed it.

    • Nick says:

      The problem I had with it was that it didn’t feel very old school.. it has recharging health (ego, whatever) but enemies will never miss you if you are in the open, no careful strafing to avoid fire will work with the bullet enemies and your health drops like a stone really fast, which in turn makes you take cover. Which doesn’t feel like Duke, he is supposed to be a badass but barely take a beating before having to hide.. and can only run FOR 3 SECONDS before he gets out of breath. I was just boggling at the design descisions there, I mean what the fuck? That and the two weapon limit which just feels so wrong.. have to drop your pistol to carry two guns.. ugh.

      That said, it had some amusing touches, I particularly liked the loading hints which made me laugh out loud a few times.

    • GallonOfAlan says:

      @Gnoupi

      There are any amount of massive mods for non-open-world single-player FPS games, HL2 being a case in point. And Thief being another.

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      Hidden_7 says:

      The thing with regenerating health is that all (most?) of the arguments for it can also be used to justify regenerating ammo. Which is fine, I’m not making a value judgement on either, but I do find it odd that most games that have regenerating health don’t feel a need to do regenerating ammo. So I wonder how necessary regenerating health really is.

      I mean, the biggest issue people raise is that it lets level designers design individual scenes without a concern that the players might be down to 1 health from the last scene. However, if that’s really a concern, just have health packs before that scene, like games used to. I don’t understand why this is a terrible illusion breaker, but the convenient stockpiles of ammo right before a shootout aren’t. Or the incredibly convenient rocket launchers that always show up right when you need to fight a helicopter or a tank.

      I understand regenerating health has its uses, but personally I think it gets much over-used these days, allows for lazier level design (though doesn’t necessarily cause it), and my preference is for health as a resource to be managed, rather than a timer for how long I’m allowed to be stupid and get hit at any given time.

    • madbird-valian says:

      @GallonOfAlan

      Half-Life 2 runs on the Source Engine, which is famous for being hugely customisable by fans and groups of such, hence Garry’s Mod. DN:F is in Unreal 3, which isn’t.

      Do you actually know nothing or is this an elaborate ruse?

    • Casimir's Blake says:

      @ Hidden_7
      “I mean, the biggest issue people raise is that it lets level designers design individual scenes without a concern that the players might be down to 1 health from the last scene.”

      You and I, and every one else here complaining about the distinct lack of old-school-FPSness (I am so glad to see I’m not the only one), are not the people these games are designed for. Modern mainstream gaming has become a race to see who can build the biggest spectacle sandbox / racer / fighter / FPS etc.

      If you want gaming to test your skill, give you decisions to make, and – frankly – to feel like playing a game and not a long series of quick-time events, then you won’t find it in modern FPSs. Or most mainstream gaming.

    • Zelius says:

      I suspect this will be popular once people inevitably mod the original Duke Nukem 3D levels in there.

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      @ madbird-valian

      Dude, come on. If you’re going to be a know-it-all, at least try to get your facts straight. DNF is NOT on Unreal 3, it’s on a mishmash of old Unreal technology. And Source is not known as some magical engine that makes all your modding dreams come true. It has much more difficult and buggy tools than Unreal 3, and the UDK is an even more in-depth and powerful toolset than the SDK.

  3. Acosta says:

    Could you be less excited Alec, I don’t think I can deal with so much excitement :P

  4. trjp says:

    The original DN games were fantastic – technically they were dated even then but they were hugely playable and entertaining (unless you’re some sort of prude or Daily Mail reader perhaps).

    Roll forward a couple of decades and who knows tho – so much water under so many bridges…

  5. Scythe says:

    It’s exactly what I expected. Consoleified, stupid as hell, puerile. There was a Half-Life reference.

    Grinning like an idiot most of the way through. I’ll buy it when it hits $20 on steam, not before.

    • Meat Circus says:

      It’s not a full-price day-one purchase by any reasonable stretch, is it?

    • Aemony says:

      @Meat Circus:
      No, definitely not. And it’s by far not the worth the high price they’re asking for it. 2K Games and Gearbox are hyping the game to oblivion and doesn’t deliver. The demo has both an intro and an outro whos sole purpose is to get you excited for controlling Duke. If you don’t get swayed by those attempts you will notice exactly what Alec noticed, that it’s a medicore shooter with probably more downsides than upsides.

      This demo contributed nothing in getting me interested in the game. If I’ll play the game it will probably be because of its reputation, not because of the game itself.

  6. SHDR says:

    Ahahahha, so the long-expected demo is the one I played at the silly BAFTA event? Exceptional.

    Well, this write-up is pretty much spot-on then: it’s a very bland game with a lot of braggadocio, dated visuals and a ton of weird anti-hype surrounding it. I wait with bated breath for the sales figures.

  7. Meat Circus says:

    Sounds a bit shit.

    • Premium User Badge

      Thermal Ions says:

      It is. I think Alec was being very kind to it. Dated visuals as mentioned by others, and it just feels bad when playing it – none of the smooth movement and satisfying weapon sounds / feel. I wasn’t overly interested in it although I played Duke quite a bit back in the day. After playing the demo I can’t see myself even bothering to pick it up on a $5-10 Steam sale.

    • Aemony says:

      @Thermal Ions:
      Not to mention that the DoF effects when zoomed in made it almost impossible to aim at a target if you didn’t already have the crosshair on him when you zoomed in. The FOV also felt extremely weird when looking down on Duke’s feets and the first thing I noticed in the game was that Duke seemed REALLY short. I stood in front of the mirror and compared with other objects to get a somewhat accurate length of him and by my assessment he is only about 150 cm long… which is quite puny for a character of his stature. And it would make the women even shorter…

  8. Daniel Rivas says:

    IT’S FINE

    • Meat Circus says:

      On the plus side, it does seem to have avoided ending up it Daikatana territory, so I guess that’s something.

      /golfclap

    • gorgol says:

      L2P

    • Daniel Rivas says:

      I enjoyed the “it only looks about three or four years old” line.

      Well done, everybody. It only looks like it’s from 2007.

    • skinlo says:

      To be fair, game graphics have barely moved since that time due to console limitations.

    • meatshit says:

      After playing The Witcher 2 for more hours than I care to admit, I noticed that other games that I used to think were fairly pretty (AssBro in particular), just weren’t any more. TW2 really does have next-gen graphics and it’s hard to go back once you’ve had a taste of something better.

  9. KlaxonOverdrive says:

    “It’s fine.” – Raves RPS’s Alec Meer.

    I bet you’ll be seeing that on the back of the box.

    • Meat Circus says:

      “Quite good in parts but mostly just okay! 6/10!” – Eurogamer

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      HermitUK says:

      Eurogamer? Surely 8/10, then?

    • UnravThreads says:

      PC Gamer – “BEST GAME EVER *FAP FAP FAP* – 92/100″

      That’s my bet.

    • Mman says:

      “PC Gamer – “BEST GAME EVER *FAP FAP FAP*”

      The best FPS combat ever. Not gaming’s best booty, but maybe its best booty slapping. Dukier, sexier, better. 94/100

    • UnravThreads says:

      “The driving sections are a bit poor, the terrain is bland and unimaginative, and we felt that the weapons were mostly useless. Still, best game ever *fap fap fap*”

  10. Kaira- says:

    Sounds pretty much what I was expecting, so I guess I’ll give it a spin sometime soon. Haters will hate, fans will fan(?), and so on.

  11. sbs says:

    gearbox account “cannot be registered”, and it doesnt tell me wh even, what the hell is going on.
    is it only because i’m german?

    • Rob Maguire says:

      I think the account server was hammered into oblivion. You can get the access code without having to create a Gearbox account (I think all you miss out on is a discount on the merch) by leaving the field blank.

  12. hotcod says:

    From everything I’m hearing I think it comes down to something as simple as this. If you liked duke 3d you are going to enjoy this game. If you didn’t like duke 3d you won’t. If you never played duke 3d then you’ll find a ok shooter with some odd outdated humour.

    In other words it’s a joke, in a very meta way. Part of the fun of it is simply that fact you are sat down and you are playing it… and for a lot of people that joke falls flat because they don’t have the attachment to duke 3d or don’t want to engage in what seems to be outdated but slightly nostalgic base humour of a 90s parody of a game.

    For me duke 3d holds a place in my heart for any number of reasons so I have no doubt that I’ll enjoy the game given that it’s not actual just awful. If they can match the awesome level design of the 3d in this is still to be seen and maybe the game could as a game even be fun buuuuuuuuut it’s selling point is simply being what it is and that is not a selling point to every one.

    • LionsPhil says:

      If you liked duke 3d you are going to enjoy this game.

      I see no compelling evidence for this statement.

    • Mattressi says:

      Perhaps he means “if you liked Duke 3D when you were 13 and you haven’t aged since then, you’ll like this game”? The only way I could understand why people liked Duke Nukem ever was by assuming/hoping they were 13 or younger.

    • Nick says:

      I loved Duke3D and found this decidedly meh.. I liked the interactivity (though some of it wasn’t amusing to me) and some of it was very funny, but the actual shooting part was rather poor.

      And Duke 3D is a great game, attributing it to being 13 is basically being a knob.

    • Urthman says:

      I think you mean ‘If you liked the idea of Duke Nukem 3D, but never actually played it, or if what you liked about DN3D was the boobs and fart jokes rather than the superior gameplay, level design, weapons, exploration, challenge, and wit, you might like DNF.”

    • LionsPhil says:

      Urthman got it in one.

  13. Premium User Badge

    lurkalisk says:

    “it only looks about three or four years old and it’s clearly very much enjoying existing. It’s fine. But nothing more than that.” I do enjoy reading just about everything RPS and its subsidiaries has to say about things and the related goings on, but I cannot understand the bizarre disdain for Duke Nukem you “lot” exhibit. To be honest, if I see A Duke related article on this site, I just assume it not to be worth my time, not because of the game in question, but because of the surprising, invariable stigma against it. I get it, poopy jokes and bewbs are for kids, and thus you lot, being super mature manly men, care only for Shakespeare (which, in computer game terms means childish crap), but Duke is, quite simply, distilled fun, and it seems you guys are simply too jaded to feel any joy in such a thing. The again, that seems like a weird statement considering EVERYTHING else you guys bother to write reflects nothing much better. I just don’t get it.
    Whatever, the DNF demo is fun. It’s short, which is too bad, but it’s damn fun, and if anything matters more, you shouldn’t be playing videogames. Also, how in the world does this look anything less than usual (visually)? At the very least it’s got better depth of field effects than most games…

    • Daniel Rivas says:

      IT’S FINE.

    • skinlo says:

      It is fine. Isn’t that good enough for you?

    • Alec Meer says:

      Give us the objective definition of ‘fun’ and let’s go from there.

    • hotcod says:

      One of the joys of being a mature person is knowing it’s some times a good thing not to be.

    • Alec Meer says:

      The fundamental failure of that argument is the presumption that all forms of immaturity are equally satisfying purely because they’re immaturity, and thus there is no need to try and be expertly immature.

    • playworker says:

      It’s been in development for 14 years, and you seem surprised that people are feeling a little jaded by now?

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      lurkalisk says:

      WHOLE BIG EDIT: I don’t care. The world at large has abandoned the classic concept of a fun videogame. Something like DNF only belongs in the relative gaming utopia that was the 90′s.
      As far as videogames are concerned, I am displeased with the now.

    • TillEulenspiegel says:

      the presumption that all forms of immaturity are equally satisfying

      Exactly! I love Beavis & Butt-head, because the characters are so wonderfully dumb. But the writers aren’t.

      DNF, on the other hand, oozes creepiness.

    • hotcod says:

      Where and how do you derive that from what I said? I simply stated that immaturity is something that can and should be indulged in from time to time. If I had said “the good thing about eating healthy is knowing that it’s some times good not to” would you say that I’m implying all unhealthy food by nature is inherently enjoyable? Or that it’s ok from time to time to eat enjoyable unhealthy food? Or just what ever one suits the point you are trying to make?

    • Alec Meer says:

      Lurkalisk: whole lot of people like COD. And would probably say it is, to them, distilled fun. Because you are essentially attempting to claim there is an objective ‘fun’, despite what you said later, your point, it’s almost impossible not to interpret, is that you like this demo much more than I do, and that the only reasonable explanation for that must be a preset RPS agenda against DNF.

      There is no agenda. I played a demo and said what I thought of it. I thought it was fine.

    • Jesse L says:

      What’s that – a block button?

    • hotcod says:

      edited to make me not look like a dumb ass for replying to something not directed at me :)

    • Premium User Badge

      lurkalisk says:

      Ok, I’m sorry, I… formed an image not quite representative of my opinions as a result of my strong distaste of todays standards.

      I took your opinions out of context. I don’t think there is any agenda here at RPS. It simply seems to me that some of you guys are of a like mind as the subject is concerned. DNF, as I see it, is a game that fully embraces it’s founding concept, something akin to Bulletstorm, a concept few people seem willing to accept. We are in an age that requires something… Odd from a game, and I don’t understand what that is.

    • Alec Meer says:

      Hotcod: If you read the first word of my last comment, you’ll see it was directed at someone else. Not you, sir.

    • hotcod says:

      My bad! disregard my ramblings then :)

    • Premium User Badge

      Phinor says:

      You said better depth of fields effect than most other games. Are you serious?

      http://i.imgur.com/uK3It.jpg
      http://i.imgur.com/1Ozoc.jpg
      http://i.imgur.com/YzINz.jpg

      If anything, it’s the worst DoF I’ve seen so far.

    • Bilbo says:

      The stigma is surprising?

      And you say you’ve played the demo?

    • BobsLawnService says:

      Just a quick comment which I hope will be received as constructive criticism.

      As a review of the demo I’m not too sure how to parse this. RPS has been extremely dismissive of DNF in all of their articles up until now. Reading this I’m not sure whether you’re biased against it and it’s really a good game, whether you’re over-compensating for being critical in the past or whether it is just a solid, capable if uninspiring shooter. I know that in this age of massive pre-release marketing and hype it is impossible to review every game solely on its own merits but this has been something of an odd case.

      Anyway, keep up the good work though.

    • dan. says:

      @Phinor
      Why did you smear your screen with Vaseline?

    • Bhazor says:

      Duke is crap. It tells crap jokes. It looks crap. It plays crap. It is in all meaningful ways crap.

      If the only defence fans can make is clinging to anti intellectualism then you are lying to yourself. Seriously, want to know what games I’ve played recently that made me laugh more? Witcher 2, Portal 2, GTA 4, Fallout New Vegas, Startopia, Dragon Age and so many more. All of these were funnier and more fun than Duke which has just ended up like yet another COD clone.

      Gamers have not matured past puerile humour but they have matured past bad puerile humour.

    • LionsPhil says:

      @TillEulenspiegel: Bloody well said.

    • Deano2099 says:

      I think the writer seemed to enjoy it, and seemed to think it was fun, just not any new or special sort of fun.

      And y’know, if the RPS write-up was just “It’s fun” we’d all be disspointed.

      When you’re writing about games, you need something to write about. The game has to give you something. And if it’s just another generic man-shoot with added titties and immaturity, then that’s basically what you have to write about. You discuss the thing that’s different about the game, and if you don’t like that, it’ll read fairly negatively. And y’know, I’m all in favour of boobies in games, but they neither make me laugh nor give me a semi then there’s not much point in them is there?

  14. Jockie says:

    Seemed very dated and pretty bland to me, Serious Sam does Duke better than Duke does these days.

    • Premium User Badge

      Napalm Sushi says:

      In the “over-the-top dark comedy FPS” subgenre, I get the impression of Bulletstorm being a generally tighter and funnier experience as well.

    • MuscleHorse says:

      I’ve been replaying First and Second Encounter recently and that exact thought has gone through my mind several times.

    • Dawngreeter says:

      I’ll echo the Bulletstorm sentiment.

    • Eclipse says:

      no, not at all, serious sam games are good, but nothing near to Duke Nukem 3D, Shadow Warrior or Blood in terms of humor

  15. bitbot says:

    Maybe it’s just me but I don’t remember the old Duke Nukem being as juvenile as this, you know the shit throwing kind of juvenile.

    • ScubaMonster says:

      Yeah I agree. The strippers weren’t even really a big part of the game. There were like what, 2 levels out of the bajillion that had them? The strip club was a minor event. The only other thing were the wisecracks, and there weren’t even a lot of those either. Mostly it was about blasting silly aliens.

      This is one of the many reasons why I’m looking forward to Serious Sam 3 and getting that instead.

    • Flint says:

      Yes, this is one of the things that bothers me in DNF. They’ve taken something relatively unimportant and turned it into a big main thing, which I can’t see being very beneficial.

    • lokimotive says:

      Well, let’s be honest: Is it easier to innovate vulgarity or game mechanics? Clearly the original did some interesting things with level interconnectivity (at least thematically), game world interactivity, and just over all silly fun. So instead of trying to innovate in gameplay (which seems to be what stymied the release date all these years), they just said, never mind that, let’s just add swearing and nipples, because we can do that now.

    • bill says:

      I agree too. The thing is, Duke wasn’t really a big part of Duke3d. The character and story and strippers were just window dressing on what was basically a standard early “shoot everything” FPS.

      People remember the Duke lines because they’re quotable, but no-one played the game for the duke, or the setting or anything. We played the game for the action and the weapons – which were great.

      But you could take Duke and the strippers out of the game, and replace all the bad guys with alternate sprites, and it’d still be just as fun to play.

  16. ScubaMonster says:

    I’ll take Serious Sam 3. That is all.

  17. Xocrates says:

    I just finished playing through the demo myself, even if only to say I did, and “It’s fine” really is the best way to describe it. There’s nothing wrong with it, but it certainly does not feel outstanding in any particular way.

    Although I feel like I should note that this looks like the demo they showcased at PAX last year and feels more like a tech demo than a proper demo for the game (the desert level plays more like a weapon showcase as opposed to a proper level for instance) and as such I have no idea if this is in anyway representative of the final game.

  18. Zogtee says:

    Honestly, it left me wanting to play the original 2D platformer. I’m not sure why, but there it is.

    • Premium User Badge

      Hidden_7 says:

      Right? Those were pretty great, eh? That’s my cherished childhood memories of Duke Nukem, not the macho boor he became in the sequel, though I admit Duke3D was pretty fun at the time. It had reloading! So exciting.

  19. Pathos says:

    “comparable to the better bits of Quake IV”

    So… it’s not fine?

  20. Thoridan says:

    I loved it, Definitely getting it once it comes out.

    Terrible review.

    • Alec Meer says:

      Yes, things I disagree with are terrible too.

    • Premium User Badge

      lurkalisk says:

      Well, given the subjective nature of our very existence, this is true. In a sense.

    • Thoridan says:

      You’re comparing this to Call Of Doody, COMPLETELY different games, yeah, some review your’e putting out there.

      Graphics look out-of-date? Oh please, this is Duke Nukem, not known for the graphics, but for gameplay, which Is what I’d expect from a Duke Nukem game.

      This game is for people who played the originals, and loved them. Which I did and I more than loved them, and I loved the Demo.

      This review is too 1 sided from someone who doesn’t doesn’t like it very much.

    • Daniel Rivas says:

      I like that we’re all ignoring that this is an impressions of the demo.

    • Dawngreeter says:

      “Graphics look out-of-date? Oh please, this is Duke Nukem, not known for the graphics, but for gameplay, which Is what I’d expect from a Duke Nukem game.”

      Really? I mean… really? You have a straight face saying this?

    • The Great Wayne says:

      “This post is not research-backed journalism. I walked into a room, played a two level demo, and offered what I thought about it.”

      Sorry, had to do it :P

    • woodsey says:

      On a base level, CoD and DNF are completely comparable. They are both about shooting shit, and as much as I dislike CoD, its shit-shooting is miles better than DNF’s.

    • Nick says:

      It’s not a review. And the gameplay on the demo is pretty fucking awful imo. Literally nothing like Duke 3D for a start, much closer to CoD with aliens.

    • Lemming says:

      “Graphics look out-of-date? Oh please, this is Duke Nukem, not known for the graphics, but for gameplay, which Is what I’d expect from a Duke Nukem game.”

      At the risk of falling for what I admit may in fact be MASSIVE trollbait, are you fucking serious??

      You’re basing this on a single game, so ‘what it’s known for’ was in fact genre-defining graphics and gameplay with tongue-in-cheek toilet humour. None of which could this could be accused of having. I suspect that ‘what you expect from a Duke Nukem game’, is very little indeed.

    • max pain says:

      Rable rable rable rable

  21. Lewie Procter says:

    It does have a much better than average feeling of being a person. You see Duke’s feet/body when you look down, and the running animation is pretty nice.

    • Premium User Badge

      Thermal Ions says:

      It’s got a ridiculous jump animation though. Look in the broken mirror at the start of the demo and jump up and down. It’s very much a WTF moment.

  22. StingingVelvet says:

    My God, this game is like the perfect example of why I hate depth of field. The whole damn screen looks like a blur monster threw up on it. with depth of field off though it actually looks quite good in ways, sort of on the level of Prey from 2006 or so. Not bad really.

    Gameplay was pretty standard, but the trailer seems to show some fun segments like rocketpacks and more big bosses. I expect this game will be fun from start to finish.

    • Premium User Badge

      HermitUK says:

      Yeah, I like a good Depth of Field effect. One that’s subtle but strong enough to bring the focus onto the game rather than the stuff in the distance. But this is anything but good DoF. Enemies seem to emerge at you out of a haze of margarine all over the screen. Turning off the Post Processing apparently turns it off.

      As for the gameplay, “It’s fine” pretty much sums up my feelings as well. It works, the guns are alright, the gameplay is pretty solid. Nothing in the demo made me want to run out and buy it (Only have access due to owning Borderlands on Steam), but maybe something I’ll pick up cheap down the line. If the demo goes out to everyone it’s probably worth playing at least for the Dicking About Simulator that forms the opening minutes.

      Main thing that stuck out for me was that I didn’t really find it that funny or amusing. Perhaps off the back of Portal 2 I’m expecting too much in the laughs department. Though I’ve been playing Hector recently (nabbed it cheap last weekend) and that’s easily as low brow as Duke, if not moreso, and it’s rather funny indeed. Perhaps Hector’s British sense of humour endears it to me in a way Duke doesn’t.

  23. Jesse L says:

    It’s time to get Serious.

  24. Flappybat says:

    Why are there lines all over my screen?

    • Flappybat says:

      Turns out that’s just the intro but then the actual game is blurry instead!

  25. Premium User Badge

    shoptroll says:

    I think some people with regular copies of Borderlands got access as well. I don’t know the exact specifics to qualify, but my plain copy of Borderlands on Steam was given the First Access Club privs. Maybe it’s because I pre-ordered it as part of a 4-pack and got some DLC?

  26. Turkey says:

    Would it enhance your gaming experience if you played it as if you’re simulating that you’re George Broussard playing as Duke Nukem in one of his private fantasies?

  27. Premium User Badge

    El_MUERkO says:

    It’s the same demo I played 6 months ago. Which makes me wonder if it’s a good representation of the final product.

    Either way it’s pre-ordered and staying that way, Crysis and Brink sucked a bag of sweaty, cheesy nuts and I need some light relief.

    … and a fun game.

  28. Lagwolf says:

    Methinks that giving a demo to people who already ordered it means the company knows it ain’t up to snuff. Surely you wanna give a demo to people who haven’t ordered it yet if you are really proud of your game?

    • Premium User Badge

      Thermal Ions says:

      Bazinga

    • Nick says:

      I got the demo just for happening to buy the individual borderlands DLCs as and when they came out, so, uh, yeah.

  29. kwyjibo says:

    The correct response to anything duke nukem related is disinterest.

  30. Dawngreeter says:

    I don’t know, the two schoolgirls kissing didn’t really do it for me (note – I’m referring to the trailer thing, I didn’t play this anti-demo).

    Not to say that I’m not a manly hetero male with a lot of testosterone who isn’t conditioned by the popular culture to consider female bi- or homosexuality awesome, hot and what have you but consider male bi- and homosexuality disgusting. But this is just… I don’t know. Too formal, too well produced. In pornography at least you know it’s not something you’re supposed to have other people know you’re watching. I’d feel terribly awkward having people see me play that particular scene.

    Certain amount of crude humor and revelry in immaturity might’ve worked with 2D pixelated stripper boobs as a sideshow to a larger game. I’m not sure it makes the transition to a tripple A, fully produced spectacle. Suddenly it’s not a joke that someone put a pixelated naked babe in a computer game (omg!). It’s an activity you engage in to watch strippers. It doesn’t sit well with me.

    • Bhazor says:

      Duke has always been pretty toothless. Terrible jokes, tame innuendos (Larry Laffer and Bottom had far more balls) and nudity that was pixel-lated beyond recognition. It’s entire thing, it’s whole mystique is built on an outrage that never actually happened. Duke was a 1996 parody (a flimsy one) of early 80′s action films so the fact he’s still around says some pretty sad things about the industry and 3D Realms.

      His time has long passed. He’s not rude enough. He’s not outrageous enough. He’ll get bad reviews. He’ll sell a few million. He’ll be in the bargain bin in 6 months.

    • The Great Wayne says:

      I don’t see why people want the “low-level humor with boobs etc…” of duke to be in any way:
      a. subversive
      b. shocking
      c. arousing
      It isn’t meant to. However I can understand where all the maturity shenanigans come from if most people think it is.
      At most, it’s made to make you grin, and feel like you’re living the dream of a B serie movie from the eighties. Seriously, you can condemn it for gameplay reasons, but its dumb setting is just that, a dumb setting, and quite obviously so, it’s not like you’re running in it unknowingly.

    • Sinnorfin says:

      As it seems to me now..Duke3d has been totally misinterpreted by the Devs..

      First level.. Toilet.. it wasnt funny because the alien were laying ‘cables’ all over there.. It was just the simple miracle of seeing an AI not lingering around another corner but was put into context..

      It wasnt about the stripper showing boobs.. It was about that Duke didnt just shoot everyone, instead there was interaction..

      What i see now is that Duke went POSTAL..which is disgusting for a game that is not called POSTAL :D

    • Dawngreeter says:

      @The Great Wayne

      It’s exactly what you say Duke should be that I do not find in Duke Nukem Forever (which I, granted, did not play yet). It isn’t a dream of an 80′s B movie that makes you grin. It’s a 3D remake of it where Will Smith plays the lead role that used to belong to Charles Bronson. It’s Terminator Salvation which fires at you a barrage of T2 elements with no context to make it relevant.

    • Bhazor says:

      When your games main selling point is its humour it had better be something special.

    • Nick says:

      The fact it was just a very good FPS was its selling point tbh. Unfortunatly the same does not appear to be apparant to this incarnation.

    • viverravid says:

      conditioned by the popular culture to consider female bi- or homosexuality awesome, hot and what have you but consider male bi- and homosexuality disgusting.

      I think your indoctrination might be showing, you may need to adjust it.

      Being heterosexual of course has nothing to do with the reason why you find multiple females doing sexy-stuff arousing, but don’t respond in the same way to mutiple males doing the same thing.

    • Dawngreeter says:

      I am not convinced that being heterosexual is anything other than cultural indoctrination, let alone how one of such persuasion has to respond to various other displays of sexuality.

  31. Premium User Badge

    HermitUK says:

    I couldn’t quite place my finger on what the demo reminded me of, but it just hit me. Overwhelmingly, it reminds me of the opening hour of Bulletstorm, before you get the whip. That opening hour felt a little weak, and it’s a very similar feeling here – All the standard FPS trappings are there, but they don’t really seem to gel into anything special. It’s lacking a spark – something interesting to really elevate it above the rest of the FPS market. In Bulletstorm’s case, you got the whip and the game became a lot more fun because of it.

    I actually think if they’d carried that level of silly interactivity from the opening into the game proper, you’d have the basis for that spark. As it is, the desert is a pretty static environment against which you shoot at things.

  32. bill says:

    Is this the desert level and minecart ride from the REALLY OLD trailers from about 8 years ago?

  33. terry says:

    If it doesn’t have a button operated elevator and pipebombs I cannot enjoy it >:O

  34. Bilbo says:

    5 uses of “it’s fine” make it pretty clear that this game is going to justify my nonchalance pretty well

  35. SirKicksalot says:

    There’s a holoduke in the desert level. Makes the ship battle more fun. There are pipebombs too.
    Also you can shoot the blimp in the stadium level.

    I loved Duke’s “What the fuck?” when the car wasn’t starting.

    • Nick says:

      Ack, I never thought to shoot the blimp! I remember that well from Duke 3D too =/

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      Someone saying what the fuck when a car doesn’t start is a highlight?

  36. Iskariot says:

    I played the first Duke Nukem to death. And I really loved it. But in those days there was little else. No competition at all, and everything they would have done, would have stood out in the ancient empty desert of gaming.

    Now things are hugely different. Tons of high quality games await my attention. Just a simple rehash of Duke Nukem with somewhat updated graphics is not enough for me to invest money and time in this. There is far too much other good and even excellent gaming to be had to waste my time on a mediocre run of the mill shooter that prides itself in juvenile jokes. Personally I have simply outgrown this type of game. I admit… It is me…I am 15 years older now… I am to old for this.
    I think a teen audience might enjoy this game. But even then it will have to compete with a myriad of games that offer better gaming than Duke Nukem Forever can.

    • Nick says:

      There was plenty of competition in the doom clone (as it was known) genre at the time.

  37. Premium User Badge

    Shakermaker says:

    My god, it is a truly awful demo. Not fine, awful. I am not gonna waste my money on this

    • Meat Circus says:

      IT’S FINE.

    • Sinnorfin says:

      Imagine if you’ve pre-ordered..:D

    • PUKED says:

      Exactly how much alcohol is required to enjoy it?

      I preordered and haven’t played the demo yet, this is some pretty critical information.

    • PUKED says:

      Wow, this was nothing but god damned cutscenes and coward’s mechanics, I guess the answer is there isn’t enough.

  38. Sangman says:

    As a long-time Duke fan (so you know to take my opinion with a grain of salt, I guess), I thoroughly enjoyed the demo and I wish it was longer. I can understand why some people consider it to be bland… but I think this has more to do with the levels used in the demo. The action and the game’s personality does not feel bland to me at all. I’ve never played a game quite like this before. And in an FPS it seems pretty important to me that the action feels great, right? In this demo it does.

    But the desert level itself… is a bit bland and linear and the colour scheme surely doesn’t make it very interesting. The trailers indeed make it look like the full game will have better levels, so woot.

    Can’t wait to play it next week :)

  39. lokimotive says:

    So, will this be the first demo that a significant amount of people will pirate instead of just downloading? Because, you know that’s going to happen.

  40. diebroken says:

    I can’t help thinking that you might actually need to drink beer to play this game…

  41. LionsPhil says:

    Half-Life 2 knocks it into a cocked hat, but then wasn’t that always going to be the case?

    No. This isn’t the 2001 E3 game at all. I am going to go and cry salty tears of what could have been in my hallway of sorrows now.

  42. vodkarn says:

    If it makes anyone feel better, those are probably my two least favourite levels. I dunno why 2k chose them.

  43. Soda6 says:

    Serious Sam games and recently Bulletstorm just did that old-school type shooter way better than this turd.

  44. mwoody says:

    Those who own Borderlands: go to your Steam page for the game and click “CD key.” There it might have a code. If it does, go to the duke nukem site, enable scripts for the page, and put in your code and e-mail. On the next page, ignore everything save to make sure PC is selected and hit “submit” – you don’t need to make an account or any shit like that, though it makes it seem like you do. You will now be given a code to put back into Steam.

    You could probably even get away with a fake e-mail address, as it doesn’t appear to send any confirmation to it.

  45. Nim says:

    Can’t confirm yet but it appears the demo is now available using torrents. First time I ever have had to pirate a blazing demo.

    • Sinnorfin says:

      Its not working..Its real but needs a “patch”..which does not exist as of now.

  46. Sinnorfin says:

    Dissappointing in several ways:

    Info about these DLCs if the thing is true, have been excavated from demo-files..
    Now that’s a load of duke.. after twenty years of development dont anyone even try to talk this out for me..

    DLC Pack #1 contains four new weapons – a minigun, a “noob tube”, a sticky grenade and a “BFG” – the latter of which was a big plasma weapon found in Doom and Quake.

    DLC Pack #2 consists of three new deathmatch maps – “EDF Base”, “LKR” and “Map 3″, presumably for the game’s multiplayer mode.

    DLC Pack #3 includes 15 new single-player maps, arm wrestling, the “Impregnader” weapon and a karaoke machine.

  47. Premium User Badge

    PoulWrist says:

    Sadly, since Duke3D was pretty much a genre defining classic. Having so many firsts and so many brilliant design decisions, it still sits at the top of FPS in my mind. Today, games base themselves around individual features of Duke3D… but all people ever think about is strippers and toilet humor.

  48. broklynite says:

    I know I’m opening myself to a lot by posting, but here goes.

    I have enjoyed Duke since DN3D came out. I did, my brother did, my sister, my mother and my father, all of us enjoyed it. There were amazing innovations. You could see yourself in a mirror! You could regain your health by taking a piss! You could play pool. The cops were big pig monsters. The weapons were awesome. There was a jet pack and steroids, and Duke said some funny shit. The thing was a combination of two things. Excellent technical innovation overlaying solid game design, and a loving homage to the over-the-top action hero.

    What drives me crazy is every time I hear people talk about how Duke’s time has passed, we don’t do the whole 80′s action movie thing anymore. Hold on. Die Hard was a great film. It came out in the 80′s. What’s happened recently? We made a new one. Robocop was an awesome 80′s action movie. What happened? People, not the government, but individual people, raised the money to raise a statue of him to display in Detroit. Rocky has both a new movie and a statue now. Terminator happened, and Arnie became Governor of Cali. Clearly, we still have a lot of fondness for the classic 80′s action movies, full of witty one-liners, sex jokes, and over the top threats. What has happened is that Hollywood has made fewer of them, and poeple have become a lot more sensitive to these things. Now we have cheesy superhero movies. I’d rather watch Robocop blow away bad guys and try working out his inner demons but still do his job than sit through one more movie where Peter Parker whines himself to sleep and then decides to be evil or stop being spiderman or whatever. Or apparently kill an audience full of people in a broadway production.

    The point is that DN3D was fun as hell, and is still fun today. But when people complain abotu the change in Duke, it isn’t all that sudden. A number of DN games came out after DN3D, and all became more and more brash and like DNF in character. This is really evolution more than revolution.

    That said, so what? I find it refreshing. I miss over-the-top goodness. I happen to like boobs, beer, and kicking ass with one-liners. I’ll tell you something else- I miss it. You don’t see it anymore, and that makes it a breath of fresh air today. It’s so rare in games or movies for something to simply be what it is and not worry about pandering to parents. I’m sick of “Please, won’t SOMEBODY think of the CHILDREN” ruling the gaming world. I am an adult. Why is it that I cannot purchase an Adults Only game? Why is it that an AO rating means that the game has to be taken back and changed, toned down, before it can be published?

    So yea. Maybe I would ultimately prefer something more like DN3D, with a feel of a playable action movie with smart, tight level design. But you know what? I’m also happy to get a game which isn’t afraid of offending people, is willing to tell a story that doesn’t require growly tough and gritty main characters with tragic pasts. I like a game with a protagonist who is not only badass, but is damn well aware of his own badassness and revels in it. Is it what I want to play all the time? No. But I miss games about tearing off heads and shitting down the hole, and I welcome the return. Don’t get me wrong. I love games like Portal as well. But I guess it’s nice to have the option to try something different.

    And no, I don’t find it offensive. Because it’s a video game. It isn’t real. People get offended about everything. People got offended at the orphan jokes in Portal 2 (not the fat jokes, oddly). It’s a game. You either enjoy it or you don’t. But I dislike that other people seem to feel the need to dictate to me what I am allowed and not allowed to enjoy, or to chastise me for liking what I like.

  49. magnus says:

    I’ll just do the usual thing of thinly veiled threats to torrent it because it’s not ‘The Best Game Ever’ because I’m making a political statement of my Tight-Arsedness.

  50. Sinnorfin says:

    Got to admit most of us enjoyed these ‘ adult ‘ category games like Carmageddon,Duke nukem,Quake while we were kids.. And i bet the devs knew its for the new generation , and know whats best..They didn’t take us for headless zombies who cant handle a new weapon or feature, a puzzle appearing in the game without a handbook.

    Its odd how games made for adults get to be most childish.

    • Turkey says:

      I’ve completely stopped wishing for remakes to games I loved growing up. There’s such a huge gap between the design philosphy of game development back in the day and what most AAA devs are doing now. It’s like they see nothing worth salvaging gameplaywise from the games they’re trying to remake. They just want the aestetics of the title and that’s it.

      Most of those old classics had awesome core mechanics that just need less jankier interfaces. They don’t need complete ovehauls.