Okay, What: Sybil Danning’s Ruger

By Jim Rossignol on June 9th, 2011 at 12:07 pm.


This could well be the single weirdest E3 announcement. 1980s action-movie “star” Sybil Danning is making a “cloud-based” action shooter. It’s called Ruger, and will be loosely based on the 1989 movie L.A. Bounty. The baffling press release states: “While it is still early in the development cycle, Ruger will be a highly stylized, almost comic book styled shooter. The story, written by Sybil is being held close to the vest but watching LA Bounty is sure to shed at least some light to what it’s all about. There is definitely room in the faux-retro market for more names than Tarrantino and Rodriguez, and Sybil Danning certainly has the pedigree to be credible. Incredibly the game and a Ruger film are being developed simultaneously.”

They’re right, that is incredible.

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49 Comments »

  1. DeepSleeper says:

    At first I read this as “Rutger”, and assumed it was a game about the b-movie career of Rutger Hauer.

    I’m a little let down honestly.

  2. Inigo says:

    What

  3. tameimpala says:

    I hope the game is better than their spelling. There’s only one ‘r’ in Tarantino.

  4. Jumwa says:

    I–… what?

    I feel kind of like a useless sac of internet-waste adding no more to a topics discussion than just that, but I don’t know that there’s anything else to say, really. Kudos to Jim Rossignol for managing to construct a couple sentences on the topic. That’s professionalism.

  5. konrad_ha says:

    Judging from her EXTREME(!!!) retro website, this woman clearly understands “the cloud”: http://www.sybildanning.net

    • Hydrogene says:

      This is a very nice 1994 website; with lovely animated gif intro and a large visitors counter IN FLAMES !
      Well done.

  6. Ricc says:

    “Sybil Danning certainly has the pedigree to be credible.”

    Love it. Btw, what’s with the black lines above the pistol? Is that part still too close to the vest to be shown?

    • diebroken says:

      Looks like an old price/sticker for a VHS was ‘edited’. ;)

  7. Koojav says:

    Hmm… and I wondered why my ‘Crap Detector 2000′ was blinking and making a noise for the whole morning.

  8. Icarus says:

    What the f-

  9. DevilSShadoW says:

    what is this
    EDIT:
    I HEREBY REQUEST AN OFFICIAL “WHAT I DONT EVEN” tag for cases such as this one.

  10. westyfield says:

    I’m 18 and what is this?

  11. Tretiak says:

    This Can’t Be Happening.

  12. Lars Westergren says:

    Like the monster in a bad 80s horror movie, the 80s comes back to haunt me again and again, just when I manage to convince myself it was all a bad dream.

    • LionsPhil says:

      The 80s were great, you cretin.

    • Lars Westergren says:

      No, no, no. The 1980s is the worst decade ever.

    • Muzman says:

      Seconded. All of the major style trends of the eighties were truly awful. It’s a decade defined by bad lighting, bad ‘ozone layer be damned’ hair, wind machines, smoke, terrible over produced synthesizer music with no bass, huge shoulder pads.
      And it infected everything. Watch Ghostbusters and try not to laugh when Gozer the destroyer shows up. An otherwise timeless film suddenly takes a detour into awful fashion to illustrate the arrival of a supposedly terrifying demon. Most of these trends started innocently enough, and were kinda cool back in ’82. But imagination was in very short supply back then.

    • MiniMatt says:

      Rubbish, I’m sure a mullet would really suit you :o)

    • Muzman says:

      Ha hah. I actually have pictorial proof you’re wrong around somewhere (probably at my parents house).

    • BobsLawnService says:

      The 80′s were awesome! Has there ever been another decade to match the bind-blowing action movies of the time? It was an age when women were there to be fucked or rescued, the men were gigantic steriod pumped slabs of muscle and peabrain designed for tearing their enemies limb from limb while spouting awesome one-liners. There shall never be another decade like it.

    • Nick says:

      80′s weren’t the worst decade, we just left that. Or are we still in it.. does it go 2000-2010 or 2001-2011? Either way, fucking. Awful. Shit.

    • Teddy Leach says:

      The eighties were brilliant, the sixties were terrible, and the 1800s were enlightening.

    • Fumarole says:

      Without Gozer we wouldn’t have the timeless line “Aim for the flattop!”

    • Phydaux says:

      Oh come on, the 80s were great! Can you name another decade that has films with Eddy Murphy in them that you actually want to see?

  13. laddyman says:

    I have nothing intelligent to say. what is this i dont even

  14. Smannesman says:

    I love sh*t like this, some weird has-been movie ‘star’ all of a sudden starting another career.
    Reading this makes me hope The Rock will make an edutainment title in the future.

  15. Nallen says:

    Baffling is precisely the right word for that.

  16. RagingLion says:

    Who is this? That’s my response.

  17. YourMessageHere says:

    OK, I see a Mossberg and a Colt, but no Ruger. Oh, I SEE, it’s her name.

    It’s certainly true that decent films can be made into rubbish games. I suppose now’s as good a time as any to find out if the reverse is true. Not that I’ve ever seen this film; perhaps it’s an unfeted masterpiece.

  18. Thunderkor says:

    Please tell me they will actually use the likeness of Wings Hauser for the main character. And Tim Thomerson needs a cameo in there somewhere as well. Speaking of whom, why the hell aren’t there Dollman and Trancers games?

  19. outoffeelinsobad says:

    Love it.

  20. Davie says:

    What the actual fuck?

    It’s difficult to be convinced of someone’s credibility when you’ve never heard of their name in any context.

  21. TSA says:

    This sounds awesome. Makes me realize how much I’ve been wanting a cloud-based Tekwar.