Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Attention, Writers: RPS Is Recruiting

By Alec Meer on June 29th, 2011 at 2:59 pm.

We won't really treat you like this. You won't be allowed to wear clothes, for one thing.

UPDATE: Applications are now closed. Dear grud, we’ve got a lot of very long emails to read.

RPS is expanding! For (sort of) the first time ever, we’re looking to bring another regular writer, or perhaps even writers, into the warm, loving but formerly closed fold that is Rock, Paper, Shotgun.

Trouble is… well, we’re not entirely sure what kind of recruit(s) we want. Do we want someone full-time, part-time or sporadic? Do we want an experienced magazine section editor? Do we want a crazy young buck who’s never been published outside of their own blog? Do we want a super-smart game dev who fancies a change? Do we want a fervent newshound, an indie and mods fanatic, a simulation obsessive, an essayist, a reviewer, an interviewer, a lover, a fighter?

All of the above. Some of the above. None of the above. The important thing is we want someone who’s going to make the site a better place. We’ll know what we’re looking for, and we’ll recognise it (or you) when we see it.

What we are:

We’re the world’s best PC games blog, silly. We draw 1.3 million unique users a month from a site we’ve built up ourselves over four years, and one that’s still written from our bedrooms. We’re beholden to no man, woman, publisher, manager or squid-eyed horror-freak from the 48th dimension – the four founders of RPS are the only people who say what does and doesn’t go. We might write plenty about mainstream games, but we have as independent a spirit as they come. So, if you’re a company (wo)man who likes to toe the line and write professional but personality-free copy, you’re absolutely no good to us. It doesn’t matter how experienced you are: if you are not what we would rather amorphously call ‘RPS-y’ you won’t make it past the first hurdle. Which brings us neatly to…

What we want:

  • Someone who can write about any and all PC games, from the glossiest, most meat-headed man-shoot to the most oblique and unplayable indie soul-searcher.
  • Someone who can dredge up an interesting and relevant game, story, mod, interview or opinion all on their lonesome. We’re not prepared to train someone to be a PC gamer: if you’re a console-only veteran who reckons they could probably swing PC if it came to it, that’s not good enough. You have to understand why the PC is The King Of All Platforms, and know how to find and how to write about the games and values which exemplify that.
  • Someone who can write exceptionally well, and in a defined voice of their own, but one that at least orbits the general RPS values of wit, opinion, insight and proud subjectivity.
  • Someone who’s as comfortable writing long reviews, features, diaries and interviews as they are turning out a high-speed news post that still doesn’t lack in personality.
  • Someone we’re 100% comfortable can be professional and personable while representing the site at press or other events.
  • Someone we’re going to enjoy talking to and developing ideas with every day.
  • Someone who wants to write for RPS specifically, who understands what we are and why we’re like it.
  • Someone from anywhere in the world and from any walk of life, as long as you can play PC games, be online every day and are a great writer.
  • Someone at least 18 years old.

What we would ideally want but are prepared to be flexible on:

  • Someone based in or close to somewhere that games events/creators are often found – e.g. London, San Francisco, New York… Smaller games journalism hubs such as Brighton and Bath are also good, if slightly less so.
  • Someone fully prepared to travel internationally, often short notice and for as much as a week at a time.
  • Someone who’ll sound and look presentable on podcasts, in photos or even on camera.
  • Someone with a nice, fat games industry contacts book.

What we don’t want:

  • Someone we have to tell what to do all the time.
  • Someone whose copy needs to be heavily edited and proof-read.
  • Someone who’s just an okay writer.
  • Someone who doesn’t give a crap about indie and mods and free to play MMOs, or doesn’t know why it’s annoying when a game won’t let you rebind controls.
  • Someone who thinks RPS is just a stepping stone into games journalism, or just an available way out of their current big publisher drudgery.
  • Someone who thinks this will lead to management or enormous power. This is a position for writers, on a site that respects and wants to nurture writers, rather than drive them into other disciplines so we can then go exploit younger, cheaper writers’ enthusiasm.

What we’re offering:

  • The exact nature, size and pay of the role is not yet set – it’s all going to depend on the person or persons we select. The pay – and this is a paid gig – will nevertheless appropriate to the role you are selected for. You’re probably not going to be driving a neon Lambourghini any time soon, but increased rewards will come from increase site traffic.
  • Semi-flexible hours, and all of them worked from home.
  • Relative freedom to play and write what you yourself deem to be interesting, entertaining or important, so long as you’re good.
  • Our eternal love.

How to apply:

Email thebestjobyouwilleverhave@rockpapershotgun.com with all of but only these things: a brief CV/résumé, a 500-word writing sample specifically penned for RPS and a few links to further games-related writing of assorted lengths.

You should do this soon. But definitely before Wednesday, July 13 2011.

Please note: due to the volume of applications we’re not able to enter into correspondence with unsure respondents at this initial stage. If you think this is for you, apply.

Good luck. Be good.

__________________

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317 Comments »

  1. billyblaze says:

    first gets the job!

    • Temple says:

      I think it’s a set up and they already plan to re-hire Keeron Gillion

    • Mattressi says:

      I thought Keyring Gallon ascended? Still, I had imagined that he’d briefly descend to knight the new writer – and if that’s possible, perhaps it’s possible for him to permanently descend and continue as the undead king of Castle Shotgun?

    • der jester says:

      Don’t be silly, Karen Gillen is on Doctor Who now.

    • crainey92 says:

      Game over people Mattressi here has all the qualities required for the job.

    • jonfitt says:

      Kim-Jong Gill Ham, who’s that?

    • d34thly says:

      I was going to apply, but then thought I better not realizing that no amount of comradeship or money could get me to play all the way through most of the games released in 2011(the year of disappointment). So far this year I’ve purchased Bulletstorm, Homefront, Crysis2, Alice Returns, Duke Nukem Forever, Section8, Brink and Portal2 (8 games for $405), and none of them, except Portal2, are compelling enough to even entice me to play through once even after rationalizing having spent my hard earned money on them. If RPS needs an unpolished, honest, pwnagemaster who will only play through and review games that have some actual fun component somewhere in them, then I d34thly@gmail.com am the best that RPS can hope to get (the best pwnagemaster not the best writer obviously). I hope whomever RPS deems worthy to enlist is at least very honest and finally does unadulterated reviews instead of always trying to be so positive like RPS did with Duke Nukem Forever. BTW: Duke Nukem Forever is a flaming pile of dogshit <–that should be the review heading and summary all in one right there.

  2. Meat Circus says:

    Pay: Biscuits.
    Uniform: Clogs and a car coat.
    MUST HAVE OWN SHOVEL.

  3. Saul says:

    Ah. Hmm. Will have to go for this. Expect incoming.

  4. Kdansky says:

    How can anyone hope to measure up to the glory that is RPS writing? Inconceivable!

  5. Meat Circus says:

    It’s dead man’s shoes day in Castle Shotgun. One of the hive mind will wake up tomorrow with a P45. But WHICH ONE?

  6. brog says:

    Good luck guys, hope you find someone amazing!

  7. Quasar says:

    Wanted: Someone to review games with me. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

  8. MonkeyMonster says:

    does this mean the hivemind glass jars need a washout and put into bigger ones with the brains all floating in the bath for a few hours?

    yikes!

  9. Teddy Leach says:

    I am far too amateur, tired, and incapable of travelling without several months of preparation. I am almost certainly neither witty enough, nor a good enough writer. But I wish good luck to all who apply!

  10. Bobzer says:

    I would love to but I’m too afraid.

    WHO IS WORTHY!?

  11. Springy says:

    Job adverts such as these cause me to daydream in an unhealthy and thoroughly unproductive manner.

  12. MartinNr5 says:

    “the four founders of RPS are the only people who say what does and doesn’t go.”

    Aww, poor Quinns. :(

  13. blind_boy_grunt says:

    figured that “smee” guy wouldn’t work out. What did he do? Drunk on the job, hit on your girlfriends?
    (kidding, of course)

  14. Jacques says:

    So you don’t want an SEO guy then? :(

  15. mickygor says:

    Ah man… I wish I had what it takes to apply for this. I just don’t have any material yet :( I think I might get into video game reviews in case this opportunity pops up again in future!

  16. c-Row says:

    With your recent movement to the free-to-read service, you certainly need an accountant to keep track of all the nanopayments for sure.

  17. TacKLed says:

    I want to apply but I am 17 and can’t leave to gaming events. Well, now this sucks.

  18. Rii says:

    I always assumed you folks were grown in a lab or something.

  19. Wizardry says:

    Before reading this article, you should hire me so that I can spread my hatred to a larger audience. After reading the article, I am NOT the kind of guy you are looking for. Good luck!

  20. Monchberter says:

    I would go for this, but I scored 99% on the curmudgeon scale.

    However, I am rather handsome and can write. I’ve put the odd hour (literally) in at PC Zone, I’ve run a gaming community. Blah. Blah. Blah.

  21. Duke of Chutney says:

    “Someone who thinks this will lead to management or enormous power”
    well that rules me out

  22. BrainCandy_Yshaana says:

    If I wasn’t busy making games I would almost be tempted !

  23. Metonymy says:

    If you’re looking for someone who is consistently negative and presumptuous, stop kidding yourself, I would never work for a small time rag like this one.

  24. Uglycat says:

    Winner should get the entire TF2 hat inventory as starting bonus.

  25. Jon says:

    Is there a closing date on this?

  26. McDan says:

    As long as this isn’t a subtle hint that someon will be leaving soon I’m happy to try for this, and horribly fail. Back to the workhouse for me.

  27. Atic Atac says:

    Get someone to cover *gasp* consoles?

  28. mcwill says:

    I’d apply, but I’m afraid I’m just an okay writer who would see this as a stepping stone to ENORMOUS POWER.

    Also I’d just spend every single article ranting about the XCOM remake and how the “social games revolution” is just bollocks and it’d get really tedious really quickly.

  29. Timmeister says:

    If only i weren’t so young. Sometimes i do wonder how my life would be different if i didn’t choose to follow a life of science.

  30. tripwired says:

    The quality of writing on RPS is exceptional, to the point where all other PC gaming sites I used to read now seem rather generic and lifeless. I pretty much only read RPS now.

    Genuinely interested to see if someone suitable does come forward, they will have a lot to live up to!

  31. Antsy says:

    I AR RITER!

  32. MadTinkerer says:

    Current day job (actually a night job) prevents traveling at-will. Trips planned a couple months in advance are okay. Assuming air fare, hotel, and other reasonable travel expenses are covered, it’s very okay.

    Also, I live in New Jersey, the point on Earth farthest away from all game studios.

    But other than that, I’m ready!

  33. Dusk says:

    I have a) played conputer games for over 10 years and
    b) used Microsoft office for over 10 years and
    c) excellent grammar.
    d) not american

    Please send cheque directly.

  34. zipdrive says:

    My heart is actually pounding a sort of a half African beat – half popcorn popping and so loud I’m sure everyone can hear.

    SO WHAT if I totally fall into the “only an OK writer” group.
    SO WHAT if I live as far from a game development hub as possible while still living in a place most people understand English.
    SO WHAT if I’m so intimidated by the writing prowess of RPS my hands are starting to shake on the kybeoarrrd.

    Fuck it, I’m gonna try. Start preparing the ornithopter, men..yes, and the crash-resistant pillows…yes, and the fire retardant smocks, because I’m going to try and FLY!

    • sebmojo says:

      We’re the world’s best PC games blog, silly. We draw 1.3 million unique users a month from a site we’ve built up ourselves over four years, and one that’s still written from our bedrooms. We’re beholden to no man, woman, publisher, manager or squid-eyed horror-freak from the 48th dimension – the four founders of RPS are the only people who say what does and doesn’t go. We might write plenty about mainstream games, but we have as independent a spirit as they come. So, if you’re a company (wo)man who likes to toe the line and write professional but personality-free copy, you’re absolutely no good to us. It doesn’t matter how experienced you are.

      This made my heart beat an extra special beat of love.

      Never change, my geeky gentlemen friends.

    • Eukatheude says:

      You pretty much summed up my thoughts. Think i’m gonna try, even if i think i don’t have the slightest chance.

  35. seventil says:

    Best of luck to all that apply!

  36. Skusey says:

    I thought you just grew journalists in your allotment.

  37. Schaulustiger says:

    Could someone please get Tom Francis to apply? Pretty, pretty, pretty pleeease? I don’t want anyone else :(

  38. Tony M says:

    So you should probably just take the best applicant, but if you’re on the fence choosing between them, it sure would be nice to have a female voice on RPS.

    • Jesse L says:

      I have to agree. But reluctantly, because I want to apply and I’m not a woman.

      …YET!

      I might be willing to give up my gender if it meant I could write for RPS. Then I could Wot I Think from both sides of the gender divide, like a modern day games-blogging Tiresias. Clearly that is what this site, not to mention the world, needs.

    • Temple says:

      The dumb thing is I don’t know why I agree so much.
      I shall have to quote someone who graced these very halls with his writing talents
      “I am mercurial. Also, an idiot” -Kieron Gillen

      As:
      I would like a female writer/perspective but would not want her to write from a female writer/perspective.
      So what am I asking for??!?!?!?
      And The RPS writers (is it wrong that I think of the commentariat as the hivemind? I need reprogramming I think) have displayed time and again that they are smart enough to write interestingly on pretty much all topics.
      And don’t want RPS to become a Leigh Alexander website.
      And yet… I guess there is a belief within me somewhere that there would be a different slant because of the different background. Simply because there has to be? Upbringing shapes you etc?

      Maybe Quinns should be dressed in ladies clothes (more often than he already is) as the new boy and made to write on the softer feminine side of things. But that is John’s job.

      Hey, I know what I want. I want a good writer. There I feel better about it now.

    • tstapp1026 says:

      @Temple

      Admit it, you just want B( o Y o )Bs.

      (Ugh, it hurt to write that. Be gentle with the retort)

    • Spinks says:

      “I would like a female writer/perspective but would not want her to write from a female writer/perspective.
      So what am I asking for??!?!?!?”

      You can’t handle the truth.

    • Temple says:

      @tstapp1026 And what makes you think I don’t have boobs? Man-boobs for shure, but still boobs.
      OR
      I have some boobs, and until they catch me I’ll keep them

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, I think what you’re thinking is you want a female writer who isn’t ‘look at me, I’m a woman!’ about everything. I think.

  39. sinister agent says:

    I like the graphic it is good and the gameplay is very good and it has good sound the sound is very good

    73%

    I will accept a cheque.

  40. NukeLord says:

    I’ve heard Karen Gillan is the best games journalist there is, you should get her.

  41. Inigo says:

    wit, opinion, insight

    Oh my aching sides.

  42. Raziel_aXd says:

    Man, this job advert sounds so… corporatist. These always scare me. I’ll probably try and surely fail, but at least at some point I might write for RPS. Also, how much of a day do you guys “work” for RPS?

  43. coffeetable says:

    > one that’s still written from our bedrooms

    You mean… there is no RPS office? It’s all been a lie?

    • Kieron Gillen says:

      An office is a state of mind.

      KG

    • Raziel_aXd says:

      A dirty one probably, with views of the sidewalk and cheap whores.

    • Gap Gen says:

      “An office is a state of mind” is so true. I sat on the sofa working all yesterday, and now I’m in the office commenting on RPS. Ahem.

    • John Walker says:

      Our bedrooms in the castle, silly!

    • Daiv says:

      You think so three-dimensionally.

      In four-dimensional space folded through five dimensions all the bedrooms are separated by a membrane roughly the thickness of a proton. Opening any of the bedroom doors from the outside performs a complex topological transformation which inverts only one of the bedrooms. Indeed, topologically speaking it can be said that the act of twisting the handle actually turns the relevant bedroom inside-out.

  44. oceanclub says:

    I say we sabotage Kieron Gillen’s comics career and force him back. We could start a “Thor is a Paedo” meme.

    P.

  45. Gundrea says:

    I’m tempted to apply but RPS is competition to my blog or would be if I ever actually wrote about games and/or had an audience.

  46. matty_gibbon says:

    Umm. I got a letter printed in Edge once.

  47. ColOfNature says:

    Recruiting, when John clearly has way too much time on his hands, judging by his last post, and you yourself, Mr So-Called-Magical Meer are obviously not unacquainted with the delights of the lacuna. Get back to work, ye swabs! The four founders of RPS (and Quinns) are the only squid-eyed horror-freaks from the 48th dimension we need around here – the “Smee”/”Caldwell” scam having been uncovered through the tireless efforts of a commenter yesterday!

    It’s the NanoTransactions, isn’t it? Suddenly you’re rolling in money and you’re feeling unaccustomedly profligate. Well, on your own heads be it.

  48. Alexander Norris says:

    Get Brendan, he’s pretty good (although don’t get him if you’re ever going to call him “Brendy” again. Brendy is a rubbish thing. It’s not even cool. Quinns is a cool nickname).

    Also, cover mods, you bloody sods.

  49. Scatterbrainpaul says:

    Important questions below

    Holiday Pay?

    Sick Pay?

    Maternity/Paternity pay?

    Company Car?

    Share options?

    Gym Membership?

  50. BurningPet says:

    bring richard aboard please.!
    ,!

  51. Jams O'Donnell says:

    Go headhunt Leigh Alexander. An American correspondent would be useful I expect, and she can write!

    • Oozo says:

      Would make sense – she lately quit her job as news editor on Gamasutra to do more freelance work. And she certainly sounds presentable in podcasts (the one with Kieron and gin – precious memories.)

      But… can she talk to the monsters?

    • Malibu Stacey says:

      Thoroughly second/third this. Not because she’s female (although the perspective would be a nice change) but because she writes pretty good stuff & gets linked from these pages a hell of a lot on Eurogamer & her own blog.

    • Hmm-Hmm. says:

      Hah.. as if the fearsome foursome can afford her wages!

      Okay, seriously, she would be a great addition to the team.

  52. sinister agent says:

    I quit my job specifically because I knew this day would come. “You’re mad”, they said, “you can’t give up everything we’ve worked for!” they cried, “get out of my kitchen,” they gesticulated, inadvertantly embedding a paring knife in the wall behind me. But here I stand, my clothes long and unruly, my beard faded and worn, and my spirit ready.

    Yes.

    So do you guys do PS3, or what?

  53. torchedEARTH says:

    Perhaps candidates could write an article each (around the same topic) and we, the adoring fans, could vote for the best one and thereby ensuring we get to crush the other writer’s dreams?

  54. Pnikosis says:

    I am the guy you need! Seriously! I guess there are no language restrictions, so no English required, right? I have one request, though: Before you hire me, you must rename the blog to “Piedra, Papel, Escopeta”

    • kenoxite says:

      PPE: Piedra, Papel, Escopeta.
      Con Juan Caminante, Jaimito Ruiseñor, Quintín Herrero y Alejo Mir.

      (Y sin Kierón Agallén)

  55. Kaira- says:

    Let’s see.
    I can write.
    I can tell jokes.
    They are very bad.

    Indeed,
    a best job I can dream for,
    not a job for a bad jokester,
    indeed.

    • McDan says:

      I didn’t think you’d be the right person for the job then, but you managed to put “indeed” in there twice in one haiku. Hire this person.

  56. Inigo says:

    I remain unconvinced that RPS consists of anyone other than a filth-caked, basement-dwelling John and several hand puppets.

    • sinister agent says:

      hand puppets

      I think you’ll find they are called “digital enactment officers”.

    • Temple says:

      @ Sinister -thank you for that. I was in the fortunate position of having placed my drinking receptacle back upon my desk before reading your comment, otherwise, well, there would have been lots of spillage all over my keyboard.

    • Kadayi says:

      That is both a disturbing but highly amusing mental picture for sure. I’m glad I put my cup of tea down before getting to that one as well.

  57. Dionysus says:

    I’m not going to apply (I’m a physicist/engineer so my writing may well induce comas), but I have a question. Well, a few, but they’re all connected and lashed together into one paragraph.

    Since this is a “work from home” deal, how will the employment status and taxes work? Assuming the person is not from the UK (and perhaps EU): Will they have to get a work visa for the UK and pay UK taxes (and any required home taxes)? Will they be employed in their home country, where RPS might have to abide local employment requirements (like paying into pensions etc.)?

    Er… unless this is all under the table hush-hush, wink-wink. I’m not privy to the tenuous idea of an at-home writing job based in a far off land.

  58. Flappybat says:

    This hiring is discriminatory, I only review games through interpretive dance.

    • torchedEARTH says:

      They said no console gaming!

      Oh wait, sorry, I read that too quickly.

      I thought you said you only play games through interpretive dance.

  59. Vinraith says:

    So is someone leaving or are you just expanding? Does that mean even more articles in a day? You’re going to have to reformat the site, a given day’s writings spill over on to the second page already!

    • sinister agent says:

      I heard that they’re introducing a levelling system to the readership. Want the latest news? Best go back and grind some more August 2009 articles, son.

    • tstapp1026 says:

      I love you sinister. I want you to have my babies.
      No seriously, I’ll make them and give them to you.
      No strings attached. Well… unless I forget to cut the cord.

      <3

    • sinister agent says:

      I’ve asked you to stop doing this, mum.

  60. Vague-rant says:

    Good luck all who enter.

    Having read the criteria, I’ve automatically ruled myself out. Also, a complete lack of back catalogue of writing definitely means I’m out.

  61. DeathHamsterDude says:

    Ah! Damn. I’m pretty confident my wit and literary-skills are up to scratch, but I live in Ireland, and I’m not sure I could dedicate myself entirely to something as important as RPS at this stage in my life. I might have to wait until the next (never?) recruiting drive. ;(

    Oh well.

    • Deano2099 says:

      Sometimes in life, you kind of just have to go for it.

    • sinister agent says:

      Agreed. Go for it. I wasn’t ready for the best job I ever did until I started doing it. Apply anyway!

    • DeathHamsterDude says:

      D’aww! People are nice!

      Hmm. Well, I’ll have to think about it. I was planning to move to London in a year or two anyway . . . time for some RUMINATING! And also Rum-inating (that pun single-handedly ruined my chances for this job didn’t it?). I ruminate best with rum. It’s my contemplative drink.

  62. Walsh says:

    My greatest writing moment was bending the laws of time, space, and space grammar to double fold the word, fuck, on to itself. It was like splicing the atom, I had literally created the f-bomb. This caused Chet to shut down the Old Man Murray forums.

    True story.

    Before I come work for you fellows, tell me: Does your book of style require one space or two after a period. If it’s the wrong answer, so help me god….

  63. Joc says:

    Do RPS ever use freelance submissions?

    I’d hazard that any answer in the affirmative would invite a biblical tide of pieces by ‘ok writers’ that the RPS collective would most likely prefer to avoid, so I suppose it’s a case of trying to gauge whether the inevitable “No” is strategic or sincere.

    I just don’t think I can ever be the man you want me to be, though I’d still like to be a part of your life.

    Also sorry if this is specifically answered elsewhere; I did do some rooting around.

  64. limbclock says:

    I can’t seem to send the email to this address. The mailer daemon says that there’s no such reccipient

    • sinister agent says:

      Have you been to the ISP? If you go to their office, the security guard asks you for chewing gum. If you give him the chewing gum you got from the policeman, he’ll give you a key that’ll let you into the basement. In the basement use the scissors on the broom and the bristles on the janitor – he’ll let you into the office so you can talk to the boss. If you give the boss the gold coin from your dresser, he’ll tell you how to defeat the daemon.

    • Nallen says:

      @Sinister Agent – You’re winning the comments hands down. I hope you’ve applied.

    • sinister agent says:

      I just did! Thank you! I am exclaiming a lot because of nerves! Argh!

  65. Bursar says:

    “the four founders of RPS are the only people who say what does and doesn’t go.”

    So does this mean Quinns just gets told what to do? Put the kettle on FNG and do what Walker tells you etc etc?

  66. Stardog says:

    “Someone we’re 100% comfortable can be professional and personable while representing the site at press or other events.”

    Damn.

    “Someone who’ll sound and look presentable on podcasts, in photos or even on camera.”

    Double damn.

  67. limbclock says:

    seriously though, why doesn’t the email address work? the Mailer demon says that “550 550 User does not exist (state 14).”

  68. tomeoftom says:

    Go fetch one of the (actually incredibly funny/insightful) guys from Gaming Daily! Or, yeah, stick with The Brends.

  69. westyfield says:

    Richard Cobbett or Tom Francis please thank you bye.

    • tstapp1026 says:

      Wooooo! You gave me a GREAT idea.

      These guys should hire Mandy Morbid of the “I Hit It With My Axe” vlog.
      Trust me when I say she has ALL the assets to bring the (gamer) boys to the yard!

  70. roryok says:

    you know, I think they’ve made the comment box font deliberately smaller here to make you feel like your words are not important enough to post.

  71. tims says:

    Hey “writer”, just apply already and stop thinking about it.

  72. limbclock says:

    was able to get the mail through :)

  73. roryok says:

    Like many of you, I feel I’m not funny enough. I think I can write, but I can’t make people cry tears of laughter like an RPS writer should. I also don’t live anywhere remotely civilised, and I’m unwilling to travel internationally, so I won’t get this job.

    However, I do enjoy writing, especially about PC games, and entering competitions. so I’m going in.

  74. ChiefOfBeef says:

    “Someone we’re 100% comfortable can be professional and personable while representing the site at press or other events.”

    Well that rules me out. Incidentally, if anyone wants to read my blog and give me some feedback that would be great. It’s focused on disability and welfare reform in Britain: http://masondixonautistic.blogspot.com/

    • tomeoftom says:

      WHAT. That is so perfectly unrelated to games.

    • ChiefOfBeef says:

      But it’s an example of my writing. I’ve not been doing it long but have been gradually improving.

    • Temple says:

      And
      “I did not go to war and die for a government that believes the poor, sick and disabled are better able to pay for deficits and recessions than the Treasury can. I mean every word of it; I’ve never been to war, let alone died in one. ”

      He/She is pretty funny and is something I know nothing about, so I always like to read that.
      I don’t read RPS for games news for goodness sake.

    • tstapp1026 says:

      “Someone we’re 100% comfortable can be professional and personable while representing the site at press or other events.”

      Well… that completely rules me out. I enjoy the excessive use of the word “f*ck” in casual conversation. However, I do use it with f*cking couth.

    • tomeoftom says:

      Haha, that’s pretty excellent actually.

  75. Frakattack says:

    Oh boy, I am an overly avid gamer AND a humor novelist (NOT FAMOUS, DON’T WORRY). This is like my dream job!

  76. bonjovi says:

    damn that’s some person you’re after! but I’m sure there are quite a few of those lurking around :-) can’t wait to read the first post.

  77. Dominic White says:

    I’d love to write for RPS, but unfortunately I’m living in France, and tied down due to family issues, so I wouldn’t be able to travel for proper journalizing. I already write for DIYGamer.com, although I’ve been out of the loop a few weeks due to my PC dying.

    Gah. I wish I were eligible for this job. I’d love to make some real money from writing about games. Perhaps even turn it into a full-time career.

  78. kael13 says:

    I would love to, but have no prior experience bar an A-level in English. Don’t you need any general dogs-bodies over at RPS Towers? I can make a mean coffee!

  79. Malibu Stacey says:

    Wait so we’ve already go John, Alec, Jim & young Quintin as the RPS Hivemind quartet.
    Andrew Smee & Brendan Caldwell have been mucking in & posting some damn nice writing recently but they’re not being considered for absorbtion into the RPS Hivemind collective? Or have they already been absorbed & the RPS quartet is being expanded to an octet behind the scenes unbeknowst to us mere readers?

    Personally I reckon you should ask Leigh Alexander and/or Mr TotalBiscuit to apply.

    • Hmm-Hmm. says:

      Or maybe Time Stone (or at least more guest appearances if he’s up for it)?

      Anyway, it’ll be interesting to see how it’ll turn out. Best of luck to all who apply!

  80. Pobblepop says:

    Sperm sample in the post, let me know if it’s what you’re looking for in a man.

  81. Limey says:

    Enormous power? Management? We all know the real ulterior motive for working at RPS is the chance to pick up women.

    • ChiefOfBeef says:

      There are no females on the internet. The Gay Girl In Damascus blog proved this conclusively for the last time and there was already a mountain of evidence before that.

      I don’t even think the females are aware that their Farmville obsession is web-based or if there even is an internet.

      /pours scotch

    • McDan says:

      This beef fellow is right you know.

      /smokes tea and eat pipe

      Because I’m hardcore british wot.

  82. Pijama says:

    My application: No gaming catalogue, coming from a non-anglophone culture, no experience with the segment (I do write about politics, sociology and economics though) and on top on that I am on South America.

    FUCK YEAH I AM IN AMIRITE

    Seriously though, good luck.

  83. TreeBeard says:

    I’m too young to apply by a year, and this saddens me greatly.

    • sinister agent says:

      Apply anyway, and in a year’s time who knows?

      In my experience, enthusiasm trumps a lot of technicalities and official requirements. I’ve got jobs I was two degrees short of qualifying for because I applied in person with a handwritten application. Definitely go for it.

  84. WMain00 says:

    Hummm, i’m tempted to apply, but i’m unsure whether I could fulfill that international thing as i’m extremely short on money. Also after graduating I’m sort of weighing my options trying to consider what I want to do with my life now. :(

  85. crainey92 says:

    it is but a test, it would be blasphemous to even consider challenging the quality of writing that is Rock Paper Shotgun and to even consider ones self an equal would surely have dire consequences.

    • sinister agent says:

      Let one hundred flowers bloom and let one hundred schools of thought contend.

    • Temple says:

      Holy shit Sinister! Damn. Wow. I had a Chinese girlfriend (before it was cool) who basically said you never ever ever speak up and no matter what I never grasped it completely.

      Sinister I hope you are going for it. You’ve made me laugh too loud and taught me something in one thread. That’s what I always hope for from RPS.

    • jaheira says:

      @ sinister agent

      Superb commenting skills. Respect.

    • sinister agent says:

      Cheers! I have now applied, using my hands. It has been a very long time since a job application has made me that nervous. If I get an interview I may end up gnawing my way out of the building in panic.

  86. Raiyan 1.0 says:

    I hear a certain Eric Wolpaw lost his job at Old Man Murray. He’s a pretty good writer, and I’m sure he’ll appreciate this offer since no other site is hiring him.

  87. Bfox says:

    What?

    You don’t want someone that “know why it’s annoying when a game won’t let you rebind controls.”?

    Sorry, what?

  88. Engloutie says:

    GL to everyone! I’m sure the email address is fitting ;)

  89. BunnyPuncher says:

    IMO what you really really need is a young man with a bushy beard.

    On a more serious note: what kind of pre-existing writing are you looking for? Is it games journalism specific or are you interested in anything game related, such as strategy guides?

  90. Soon says:

    You need somebody to write 100% objective reviews. Sometimes Wot I Think is not wot I think at all!

  91. thesundaybest says:

    Here’s hoping you decide you want someone part-time as well…

  92. Skeith says:

    Writing about video games is something I’m passionate about but very unqualified to do.

  93. Fumarole says:

    You should hire me. That I live in Silicon Valley and would save you millions of gold pieces on airfare alone justifies this. Just think of all the writing I can do while you Brits are snug in bed. RPS twenty-four hours a day! Dare to dream.

    Coincidentally, I also enjoy gaming.

  94. wiper says:

    This attempt to get more copy out is going to backfire horribly, with the RPS chaps spending the rest of their lives trying to read all the applications that are right now heading their way.

    I’ll miss you, RPS :(

  95. mbp says:

    Love to see one of the old PCZoners get this. I miss those guys

  96. Maldomel says:

    Well, I certainly don’t have what it takes, but I wish good luck to every person applying for this (amazing) job.

  97. Wednesday says:

    I once got a mention in The Sunday Papers!

    Hire me, hire me!

    Ha, but, seriously, I was so chuffed by that.

  98. Phydaux says:

    If only I could wriet!

  99. Drake Sigar says:

    The only way I’m getting this job as if all my competition suddenly dies under mysterious circumstances.

  100. Some_Guy says:

    “You have to understand why the PC is The King Of All Platforms, and know how to find and how to write about the games and values which exemplify that.”

    This is why i love RPS.

  101. Lambchops says:

    On a side note to RPS expansion I doubt this would be something for your as yet unhired writer but I think it would be rather lovely if you could get a semi-regular blog from a developer on their thoughts on making games or on different aspects of game design and so on. Stuff like that Gamasutra article on level design that was in the Sunday Papers this week. A semi regular column on such things would be really interesting to read.

  102. Scott says:

    cn i rite 4 u? i rite rele gud. i ave even mad a fred on gamespot b4 toking aboot master chef!!!

    ere iz an exaemple ov ma werk:

    PORTUL REEVUW

    LOLOL TEH CAKE IS A LYE LOLOL ITS STELE FUNNI 3 YEERS LATER LOL!

    10/10

    ;D

  103. Man Raised by Puffins says:

    What we want:

    Someone who can write

    Shit. Failed at the first hurdle.

    *cries into portfolio of MS Paint scrawls*

  104. Daiv says:

    “We’re beholden to no man, woman, publisher, manager or squid-eyed horror-freak from the 48th dimension”

    That’s exactly what someone beholden to a squid-eyed horror-freak from the 48th dimension would say!

  105. patricio says:

    I had a joke published in Your Sinclair once (well, actually, my sister and I sent it in together and they only used her name, but inside I know we came up with it together)

  106. Man Raised by Puffins says:

    Edit: nvm

  107. Vinraith says:

    We demand more Tim Stone!

  108. Azazel says:

    Is getting into RPS a bit like getting into Special Circumstances?

  109. Hidden_7 says:

    I know the post is specifically asking for games journalism, but have you possibly considered terrible fiction? No waitwaitwaitwait, hear me out… it’s SHORT!

    I command a high price and I am NOT flexible on this. Make cheques out to cash, thanks.

  110. Lambchops says:

    Please delete, seems that the comment thread took a while to catch up with the comments made!

  111. KRVeale says:

    Augh! Curses!

    Thwarted by not meeting several of the key criteria!

    I’VE BEEN ROBBED.

    (Auckland, New Zealand, is not exactly a game-industry mecca, and New Zealand is in fact In The Middle Of Fucking Nowhere. My main advantage over more sensibly located readers would be updating the site in the middle of the night for the UK without effort. NOT A GOOD SIGN.)

  112. Gadriel says:

    I’d absolutely apply for this as I live near at least one very notable game studio, and know several people there. I’m also a writer. What I lack is a portfolio of games-related stuff that I’ve written that’s on the interwebs.

  113. Wixard says:

    I’m certain the topic said Attenion: Whores instead of Attention: Writers for a split second.

    Impossible you say? Perhaps.

  114. iainl says:

    Give Lewie More Money.

  115. Kakrafoon says:

    Just order another clone of Tim Stone from the grognard factory. Failing that, see if you can snap up Christian Schmidt, he just resigned his post as deputy editor-in-chief at Germany’s biggest print magazine GameStar – rumour has it that he couldn’t live with the mag becoming thinner and thinner…

    By the way, he’s the guy with the Earth Elementals from the funny Heroes VI video – you remember, the one where he only had the publisher’s footage to work with, wanted to explain some of the new features of the game and all the footage contained was multiple fights against those stupid Earth Elementals. I think it was on RPS a couple of months back…

  116. BrokenSymmetry says:

    Please hire Leigh Alexander.

  117. arghstupid says:

    I’m illiterate but I can copy and paste from press releases.

  118. reticulate says:

    Six pages of comments, eh?

    You chaps are in for it, I’d wager.

  119. BaronVonsnakPak says:

    How about an American?

    i can help you guys save on your monthly vowel budget.

  120. Ergates_Antius says:

    I’m just about the worst writer in the world. How much will you pay me not to work for you?

  121. Deano2099 says:

    Just worth saying… I had the same reaction as a few people on here “this would be great but…” – then thought about it for thirty seconds and… for Christ’s sake, if you’re interested, give it a go.

    It’s 500 words on anything PC game related that you want. If you can’t put that out there in a couple of hours then you can’t do the job anyway, and if you can, what’s a few hours in the grand scheme of things? Worst case scenario you have a nice new piece of writing you can use elsewhere.

    And if you get offered the position, but it’s not for you, then at least you can tell people that you turned down RPS. Or maybe there’s a place for you doing something less regular or whatever…

    I can sure write a bit, I’m fairly witty, I’m 99% sure I won’t get this spot, but hey, maybe I just happen to be what they’re looking for. One thing is for sure, I’m going to find out. Write. Submit. Stop making excuses and get on with it. Life is too damn short folks.

  122. Outright Villainy says:

    Well, I’d give it a bash if it weren’t for that whole “No console boys in here, no sir” business. I’m literally too poor to get a gaming pc you know (and I don’t even own my console.)

    Maybe some other time… *stares wistfully into the distance*

    • mkultra says:

      You desperately need a new hobby. Like identity theft. Then you could buy yourself – er, yes, Mr. and Mrs. Cooper – a new PC.

  123. Eukatheude says:

    Wow. That’s neat, i’d love to send something, but probably the only requirement i fulfill is being older than 18 and probably looking decent enough.

  124. MrEvilGuy says:

    When I write I turn paper into gold!

  125. Mungrul says:

    Is Roburky gainfully employed?
    He would be a catch. Alice & Kev was genuinely aces.

    And for an over-the-pond-dweller, if you could steal him away from Quarter-to-Three, Tom Chick makes good words.
    He even has an IMDB entry!

    ‘course, I’m guessing Brooker’s completely out of the picture, what with all the attention the goggle-box affords him.

  126. Tei says:

    It will probably make some sense to hire some writer that live in USA.
    That way he can post news in the USA timezone. Our timezone is probably very weird to then, and may make the site feel weird (from his point of view, all the post showing in the night, or something like that).

    This IF make sense for RPS to allow some american-style posting. Me, has reader, I am ok with the UK style. I am neutral.

  127. funtard says:

    Just as long as it’s not total biscuit or somebody who thinks posting a total biscuit video equates to video game journalism

  128. funtard says:

    Dominic White would be a good writer I’m sure of it.

  129. Hunty says:

    My heart fluttered a touch when I saw this. Those requirements feel close to what I could offer. Tantalisingly so. Everyone thinks that, of course, but faint heart never won fair hivemind. Time to polish the CV and ready up for my march among the nearly-men.

  130. Dominic White says:

    It just occurred to me that I really do have absolutely nothing to lose, and no shortage of PC gaming knowledge dating back to the CGA era combined with plenty of ability to write about everything from the latest ultra-budget manshoot to hyper-indie development jam produce.

    (Mmm, jam produce..)

    Guess I’m applying. Once I’ve actually come up with something resembling a CV.

  131. Ayam says:

    Please don’t recruit a female just for the sake of these cries of wanting a female correspondent. Not only could it push genuinely more talented writers out of the way, but also from a selfish point of view I’m looking for some caustic bite in articles that things in skirts that like the colour pink cannot provide. #just kidding, but please don’t recruit females just for the sake of it.

  132. RQH says:

    I reckon this is a bit like emailing the Phillies and asking to pitch for them. Except that I can actually write.

  133. Brian Rubin says:

    Oohhh, thank you for this. I just sent in my application. :)

  134. Bahumat says:

    I really wish/hope that RPS decides to implement a slushpile someday. I’m totally not looking to commit to RPS at that level, but I’d be happy to grace (or smear) their desks with prospects and writing, for inclusion. Goddamn I love me some RPS.

  135. RayWillmott says:

    One of the funniest comment threads i’ve ever read. Genuinely, there’s some real talent in the RPS community. For any that applied, I wish you the very best of luck

  136. TehMadness says:

    Anyone know if the job’s been given away yet?

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