Rock, Paper, Shotgun

So Long & Thanks For All The Words, Quinns

By Alec Meer on July 4th, 2011 at 5:58 pm.

caption competition!

Indeed yes, the herald spoketh true: The Boy is today leaving the company of the RPS elders in search of adventures new (and which don’t involve daily posting about PC games), hence our advertising for New!New!New! last week. It’s a sad day for sure and obviously his decision to depart the dank but loving walls of Castle Shotgun is a ferociously silly one, but who are we to deny a young man his wanderlust? So, we wish him all the very best and hope to see him offering occasional revisits to his singular blend of oddball comic analogy, passionate argument for a little-known gaming cause and panicked, determined diarising of disaster on RPS again sometime.

Quinns has already listed his greatest hits – the Quits, if you rather appropriately will – but you can browse the complete Smithsonian archive here. Sniff.

Farewell for now, young Quintin. Let your travels take you to grand places of merriment and fascination, and no doubt we shall see your fine words grace these pixel-pages again soon.

__________________

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149 Comments »

  1. 04/07/2011 at 18:00 clownst0pper says:

    Will he forever be known for his WOT I THINK of Fallout: New Vegas? :D

  2. 04/07/2011 at 18:02 Tei says:

    * removes hat *

    I remember he liking Bullestorm and somewhat disliking New Vegas, but the better was understanding why. Quinns represent a type of gamer. He is a cool cat.

  3. 04/07/2011 at 18:02 VelvetFistIronGlove says:

    So sorry to see you go, Quinns. May you find more iron in your new pastures!

    • 05/07/2011 at 05:47 Gpig says:

      While enjoyable, I did always find his writing to be a little anemic.

      edit: hm, anemia isn’t actually caused by lacking iron like I always thought. who knew?

    • 05/07/2011 at 06:34 MD says:

      It can be! I too had thought that anemia was by definition a lack of iron, which is incorrect. But there is a common form of anemia which is caused by a lack of iron.

  4. 04/07/2011 at 18:02 Turin Turambar says:

    I prefer to remember him as the writer of the Pathologic articles.

  5. 04/07/2011 at 18:06 Vague-rant says:

    Qui(n)tin so soon? That’s the best I’ve got.

    Sorry.

    Best of luck for the future.

  6. 04/07/2011 at 18:11 McDan says:

    I think I speak for everyone when I say: What a shame.

    You’ll be missed quinns.

  7. 04/07/2011 at 18:16 amandachen says:

    I thought Quinns was just a joke, not a real person.

  8. 04/07/2011 at 18:17 FKD says:

    Noooooooooooooo!! :(

    As much as I love this site (so glad I found it..) and prefer it above all others, I have to admit a big part of it was honestly hoping each day would bring another masterpiece like the Captain Smith articles. I always found that you wrote them in a similar way to how I look at/play games and it was not something I had ever seen done before, and I found they really drew me in.

    Best of luck to you! :D

  9. 04/07/2011 at 18:17 frenz0rz says:

    Oh dear. Sad news for us RPSers, but best of luck to you Quinns.

    At least now we can look forward to reading the next “Not Not Cardboard Children”.

  10. 04/07/2011 at 18:18 Schaulustiger says:

    This… wait… what? That came pretty unexpected :(

    Good luck in all your future endeavours, Mr Smith and may you write more than just a few pieces for RPS as a freelancer.

    Now I’m really curious who might be the new fourth writer.

  11. 04/07/2011 at 18:21 Vinraith says:

    Best of luck in your future endeavors, Quinns. We hardly knew ye.

  12. 04/07/2011 at 18:21 ShadyGuy says:

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Captain Smith’s diary was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read on RPS. And now we’ll have no more diaries like that. :(

  13. 04/07/2011 at 18:22 Car to Pol says:

    I dedicate my first post to you. May you always point out the iron in our ways. I trust sunday’s papers will forevermore link to your work, wherever it should spring up.

  14. 04/07/2011 at 18:23 mlaskus says:

    Noooo! You were my favourite member of the Hivemind Quinns. Shame to see you go.

  15. 04/07/2011 at 18:23 Mr. Camel says:

    I’ll miss your writings. Best of luck for the future. :)

  16. 04/07/2011 at 18:25 Leyths says:

    Nooo! You will be missed, and best of luck in future :).

  18. 04/07/2011 at 18:36 noclip says:

    “the Quits, if you rather appropriately will”

    This is Shakespeare.

  19. 04/07/2011 at 18:36 Chris D says:

    Sad news. After reading his blog I always figured Quinns’ destiny was to one day leave RPS and become the new Michael Palin. I just didn’t figure it would be quite so soon.

    Bon Voyage Quintin, may your iron stocks always be plentiful.

  20. 04/07/2011 at 18:37 Zaboomafoozarg says:

    What a shame.

  21. 04/07/2011 at 18:40 Alethron says:

    Sorry to see you’re leaving, Quinns – good luck with all your future work, looking forward to reading more of your stuffs.

  22. 04/07/2011 at 18:42 Clockwork Peanut says:

    Will miss you quintin! Loved reading your stuff x

  23. 04/07/2011 at 18:44 dhrstoff says:

    Fare thee well! Hope to see you on the horizon now and again Mr. Quinns

  24. 04/07/2011 at 18:44 Unaco says:

    You know… I’m still waiting for the final part of the Song of Onionbog Dwarf Fortress diary. You shouldn’t be allowed to leave until that’s complete. We need closure!

    • 05/07/2011 at 03:33 P7uen says:

      Precisely, you’re not allowed to leave the RPS table until you’ve finished your onionbog vegetables.

      It’s like a nuclear submarine, all the RPS commenters have to turn their keys.

  25. 04/07/2011 at 18:49 corbain says:

    Very sad news, you were a writer who could deliver both quality and quantity. The site will be less good, yours have quickly become very big shoes to fill.

    All the best.

  26. 04/07/2011 at 18:52 Darwin says:

    And then…there were three
    Farewell ….

  27. 04/07/2011 at 18:53 Maldomel says:

    “I’ll jump in this underground river, and it’ll take me straight into a hole where I will not be able to breathe, and my asphixiated corpse will be carried down into the breeding chamber of Achk Kchk, King Of The Spiders, and he will use me as a condom.”
    – Quinns, Mine The Gap Day 5.

    That’s why I loved your writing style, for those moments when I was not reading an article about video games, but a real story with pure bits of random madness.
    You will be missed here.

  28. 04/07/2011 at 18:56 VelvetFistIronGlove says:

    I fear now that the position of fourth writer in RPS is like that of drummer in Spin̈al Tap.

    • 04/07/2011 at 22:24 Outright Villainy says:

      Or a drummer in Pearl jam.

      *ba dum tssh*

      SEE HOW THAT’S FUNNY ON LIKE, 2 LEVELS.

      Anyways, goodbye Quinns, we hardly knew ye.

  29. 04/07/2011 at 19:03 The Hammer says:

    In the words of Fansy the Famous Bard: THIS IS A SAD DAY INDEED. :(

    Quinns: The Cassanova of RPS.

  30. 04/07/2011 at 19:07 Pijama says:

    WHAT A DISGRACE. First the Once-Was-Kieron-of-RPS, now the Once-Was-Quintin-of-RPS.

    It is becoming clear that four are no longer enough. We need a veritable WARBAND of writers, for every loss is a dear, dear blow in our pc-gaming hearts. :(

    Honestly though, good luck mate. Farewell. \o

  31. 04/07/2011 at 19:09 Antsy says:

    Any old iron?

    Happy travels and good luck in the future Quinns.

  32. 04/07/2011 at 19:10 Conor says:

    I…the words…can’t…
    Iron Quinns is leaving? How can this be?
    This is a sad day. Best of luck in your future endeavours. Don’t forget about us :P

    And is it just me, or is there a bit of Bowie being evoked in that picture?

    In any case, so long, and thanks for all the fish.

  33. 04/07/2011 at 19:11 zipdrive says:

    Sorry to see you go, Quinns. Again those big pair of clown shoes, with soles scratched K.G, taped over and marked with Q.S., stand empty.

  34. 04/07/2011 at 19:11 Nameless1 says:

    No. :(

  35. 04/07/2011 at 19:20 Jerricho says:

    I feel a Blade Runner quote lurking, working its way through my forearms. I shall not let it past my wrists.
    Quinns, I love your writing and will miss it greatly. Good luck in them pastures new. *tips hat*

  36. 04/07/2011 at 19:28 ManaTree says:

    :(

    Sorry to see you go, Quinns. I’ll certainly be following your next exploits into the forays of the jungle that is video games. And in the game.

    Here’s to you.

  37. 04/07/2011 at 19:31 trooperdx3117 says:

    Why Quinns why?! How else am i going to get my daily fill of iron related writing!

  38. 04/07/2011 at 19:37 alexmasterson says:

    It has been a pleasure reading your words, Mr. Smith. Fare thee well on the open seas!

  39. 04/07/2011 at 19:40 Stupoider says:

    The QUINTESSENTIAL punny guy, you’re gonna be missed, Quinns.

  40. 04/07/2011 at 19:41 kyrieee says:

    Whyy? =(
    First Kieron and now you and I still need to play Pathologic

  41. 04/07/2011 at 19:42 Temple says:

    Well, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhure just about round about the time about I decided I quite like the chap -he leaves!
    This is just like my mother.

  42. 04/07/2011 at 20:00 rasputinsownbear says:

    It was Quinns’ Pathologic piece that brought me to RPS ages ago. Good luck, Quinns, we’ll miss you!

  43. 04/07/2011 at 20:04 Jake says:

    So long Quinns, I will always remember the Pathalogic article and the fact that you were only the second person called Quinn I had ever heard of, along with that medicine woman.

  44. 04/07/2011 at 20:06 LionsPhil says:

    FARE THEE WELL, MAN OF IRON (ABSENCE THEREOF).

  45. 04/07/2011 at 20:07 Sinomatic says:

    I have a proposal. It involves glue, computer chairs and the remaining (and new) RPS writers. We need not suffer the same fate again.

    Who’s with me?

  46. 04/07/2011 at 20:07 Peter Radiator Full Pig says:

    Hear hear. Im was just getting used to him.
    I suppose its time he went out into the world, and put some Iron in his spine.

  47. 04/07/2011 at 20:09 Durkonkell says:

    Nooooooooooooo! The Quinns! IT CANNOT BE!!

    Captain Smith, Mine the Gap and various other contributions from you rank as some of the definitive best games journalism I have read. Man! And Not Cardboard Children! Who can possibly get me to buy things that aren’t computerised and take up far too much room now?

    Whoever they assimilate and stick into your alcove will have to be really bloody good!

  48. 04/07/2011 at 20:20 sinister agent says:

    I’m trying to do a caption, but honestly. The best I can think of is “You’ll need fresher material, Quinns. Tommy Cooper’s been dead for 27 years.”

  49. 04/07/2011 at 20:24 Edgar the Peaceful says:

    That’s a shame. I enjoyed Quinns.

    Now you’ve got to go all out for Tom Frances.

  50. 04/07/2011 at 20:36 sonofsanta says:

    This is why the job description t’other week had “must want to write for RPS as a dream job and not have an eye on what it can lead to”, then? As Quinns has used us all like the crusty Kleenex at the side of his monitor then left us when a new fancy lady (with a teapot) comes along.

  51. 04/07/2011 at 20:37 Tams80 says:

    Lies. He’s in the dungeon.

  52. 04/07/2011 at 20:38 Muzman says:

    Aw.
    So what’s this silly thing he’s off to do? (make some money? The Folly of Youth!)

  53. 04/07/2011 at 20:39 InsidiousBoot says:

    Farewell Quinns, I enjoyed reading your articles.

  54. 04/07/2011 at 20:55 .backslash says:

    Sigh. Just as I as beginning to trust again. That’s it, I shall no longer give my heart to any electronic old men, no matter how marvelous their punning skills are.

    Goodbye, Quintin, I shall forever cherish that one brief moment when you randomly ran past me in Allods online. I’m now going away to read old articles with my cat, while consuming insane amounts of ice-cream.

    Also, obligatory what a shame.

  55. 04/07/2011 at 21:01 Chunga says:

    Fare thee well, young´un! I really enjoyed the Not Cardboard Children articles and was thinking you were coming into your own, but… off ye go. Maybe to Tobago as a freelancer archaeologist, sporting clogs, a beard and a pipe?

  56. 04/07/2011 at 21:12 Dead_Cheiftain says:

    Ok. So Quinns, Keiron and Rab have all left with in a year. Wonder how the site cope with it’s most interesting writers leaving for green pastures.

  57. 04/07/2011 at 21:16 Meatloaf says:

    Curses, another escapes. Clearly you must inspect the locks on the Writer Containment And Torture Workplace Area. First Kieron, now this? For shame.

  58. 04/07/2011 at 21:22 Squirrelfanatic says:

    Aww no. Thank you Quintin for all your good work and great articles. All the best to you for your future work.

  59. 04/07/2011 at 21:25 Abundant_Suede says:

    Of all the musings by all the random guys with a gaming blog I’ve encountered across this ascii blatherscape, his were the most…human. Or something.

    *cue Amazing Grace on the bagpipes, launches Quinns’ torpedo tube into soft orbit around RPS*

    • 05/07/2011 at 14:59 P7uen says:

      Your firing the whole tube into space and not just the torpedo is a testament to how much you’ll miss him.

    • 05/07/2011 at 19:01 Abundant_Suede says:

      reply lost to spam filter.

      But it pointed out , in an exceptionally nerdy fashion, that the subject’s casing in the material being evoked here, was referred to as a t_ube at multiple points.

      (wording changed to avoid spam censure)

  60. 04/07/2011 at 21:26 rocketman71 says:

    Already?. Damn, he had just arrived!.

    Good luck on your endeavours, Quinns, and get back to post from time to time.

  61. 04/07/2011 at 21:30 blind_boy_grunt says:

    so the new guy doesn’t only have to write well enough for the site, but well enough to make us forget quinns left? oh, this is getting interesting. I for one will compare him only to quinns’ best work and if he is only a tiny bit less… (i wanted to write good but i don’t think that’s it. Let’s call it quinnesque) quinnesque than quinns i will complain like a little girl. And if he actually is like quinns i will complain that he is trying to be like quinns.

  62. 04/07/2011 at 21:33 Davee says:

    Good luck, Quinns! Thou shalt be missed.

  63. 04/07/2011 at 21:42 Kieron Gillen says:

    *I* didn’t get a farewell post by the guys. This is like PC Gamer, all over again.

    KG

  64. 04/07/2011 at 21:44 hydra9 says:

    A man who bears the mark of Pathologic on his body.

    And who made me snort out of my nose while reading alt-text (more than once).

    RPS’s loss will be the world’s gain. Thanks Quinns and good luck!

  65. 04/07/2011 at 21:53 unimural says:

    Thank you Quinns, I’ve enjoyed your pieces a lot. I’m really sad to see you go. The best of luck to you!

  66. 04/07/2011 at 22:05 amishmonster says:

    We’ll miss you, Quinns! May your future be bright and ferrous.

  67. 04/07/2011 at 22:22 Handsome Dead says:

    goodbye quinns

    you were the strongest, most invincible man in the milkyway.

    also king of speakywords

  68. 04/07/2011 at 22:23 MrEvilGuy says:

    this is bullshit!

  69. 04/07/2011 at 22:44 bongosabbath says:

    *iron joke*, *comment about Pathologic*, *lovely words pertaining to farewells and things*.

  70. 04/07/2011 at 22:52 Severian says:

    Farewell and good luck, Quinns. I thought you added a slightly irreverent yet always deeply thoughtful (and enthusiastic) tone to RPS and thoroughly enjoyed your articles.

  71. 04/07/2011 at 22:58 Siri says:

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO

  72. 04/07/2011 at 23:15 Coins says:

    And what a great year it was.

  73. 04/07/2011 at 23:15 Zwebbie says:

    Thank you kindly for what you’ve written. Gameboys From Hell and Butchering Pathologic are my favourite things on RPS, and the diaries on Neptune’s Pride, Minecraft, Dwarf Fortress and Mount & Blade follow closely. You’re a storyteller more than a journalist, and I appreciate that :) .

  74. 04/07/2011 at 23:19 TsunamiWombat says:

    Good luck Quinns! Giving up steady work and going freelance in this economy, nothing could go wrong!

  75. 04/07/2011 at 23:26 BathroomCitizen says:

    This post made me really sad.

  77. 04/07/2011 at 23:46 theleif says:

    So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish!

  78. 04/07/2011 at 23:51 Shazbut says:

    Start a blog dedicated to hardcore games that only you (and I) could love!

    This is an order. We always saw eye-to-eye you and me.

    Sincerely,

    Anonymous Internet Person

  79. 05/07/2011 at 00:07 Wayward says:

    Fare thee well Quinns. I love your writing and I shall stalk all your future endeavours.

  80. 05/07/2011 at 00:18 keith.lamothe says:

    Man, that stinks. Well, for me. I imagine it’s a positive move for Quinns, so that’s good :)

  81. 05/07/2011 at 00:30 Shroom says:

    Fare thee well Quinns.
    Thy mighty words have given me many a thought to ponder, often an electronic video entertainment programme to investigate and – quite regularly – a jolly good chuckle.
    You are a gentleman and a scholar good sir!

  82. 05/07/2011 at 00:38 MD says:

    I’ll miss you, Quinns! Keep writing somewhere, please.

  83. 05/07/2011 at 00:43 wyrmsine says:

    On beyond Shotgun! Best o’ luck, Quinns!

  84. 05/07/2011 at 00:50 Davie says:

    Quinns nooooooo

    I’ll hunt you down on the internet and read whatever you spew out, and be a better person because of it.

  85. 05/07/2011 at 01:00 Friend says:

    I must admit, my throat tightened a little when I read this and the other article. =(

    Fare thee well, Quinns, you coaxed out from the ether some of my favorite games journo’ing articles (and alt texts), and other good and respectable things of that nature. I only started regularly reading RPS in the past year or two, so your articles have been a mainstay of the experience here since I started. If you’re ever up for a round or three of BLC some foggy evening, you’re always more than welcome.

  86. 05/07/2011 at 01:09 Bob says:

    Good luck with your future endeavours, and thanks for writing stuff well.

    P.S. My comment was eaten on Quindependence Day. I am not a spambot. *BZZZZZZRRT! Click*

  87. 05/07/2011 at 01:14 Easydog says:

    Your Pathologic dissection was exceptional writing, truly wonderful stuff that made me seek out your words and stuff. I am sad you are no longer gracing my favourite site, but pleased your abscence is not total. Good luck and god speed.

  88. 05/07/2011 at 01:45 Sleepymatt says:

    Oh, the humanity… *sadface*

    Well, good work fella, and good luck. You’ve set the bar pretty high for the replacement for the replacement for that other guy, what was he called? Kevin something? Don’t be a stranger.

  89. 05/07/2011 at 02:16 theimpossibleman says:

    My hat is off for you good sir. Best of luck and thanks for Captain Smith.

  90. 05/07/2011 at 02:47 Flaringo says:

    Quinns, no!

  91. 05/07/2011 at 05:58 Gpig says:

    Damn, definitely my favorite writer. I suppose the pieces you wrote about looking for the Citizen Kane of video games wasn’t even on RPS and I loved those so I’ll still be seeing good writing from you. I feel like when your favorite sports team finally picks up your favorite player but it’s only for a couple of seasons.

  92. 05/07/2011 at 07:38 killmachine says:

    is he dreaming about his keyboard on that screenshot or did he eat some mushrooms?

    • 05/07/2011 at 14:46 Chaz says:

      Dreaming of his halcyon days when he used to appear on “My Family” now that his acting career has taken a sad turn and he has been reduced to doing adverts for BT.

    • 05/07/2011 at 22:40 Eidoloclast says:

      I love that this comment reads screenshot, and no one contradicted it. This is because it is the correct designation.

      Quinns is a digital eidolon, or even a tulpa: a projection of our collective dissatisfaction and obsession whose restless spirit can no longer be bound by these walls. He shall be missed.

      And stop looking at me like that. I’ve been using this username for years.

  93. 05/07/2011 at 07:45 Sinnorfin says:

    as a great man once sad:

    BEST!

  94. 05/07/2011 at 08:02 Olero says:

    :( The Kings of Castle Shotgun will be sad without their Quinns…

    Thanks for all the great writing Q (can I call you Q?) ! And do sent us a postcard from time to time.

  95. 05/07/2011 at 08:12 Milky1985 says:

    Good luck for the future, your articles will be missed!

    Oh and the stuff you write as well , that will be missed too!

  96. 05/07/2011 at 08:55 mda says:

    I’ll go for the obvious:

    Dude I’m so high I can feel an invisible cat!

  97. 05/07/2011 at 08:56 jon_hill987 says:

    Quinns, now there’s a hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is

  98. 05/07/2011 at 12:57 Flimgoblin says:

    Aww :( hoping there’ll be some irregular Quinnsage in the offing since we’re to be deprived of his regular quinnsing.

  99. 05/07/2011 at 13:11 Daiv says:

    We shall always be in your heart, Quinns. Forming a soft, insidious blockage. Slowly reducing your available oxygen.

  100. 05/07/2011 at 13:16 Freud says:

    Just to make sure. “Freelancing” isn’t a euphemism for male prostitution?

  101. 05/07/2011 at 14:01 Acosta says:

    Great, now bring back Kieron!

    hahaha, just joking. Sorry to see you go Quinns, you are an incredible writer and I will miss your take from the hivemind, I’m still impressed about the Pathologic write up, and I still have it, waiting for the right state of mind for engaging it . I hope to keep reading your work soon.

  102. 05/07/2011 at 15:44 Acosta says:

    Weird, my last message wasn’t posted, are the comments working ok for everyone?

    Anyway, Quinns, you are an incredible writer and I will miss you, hoping to see your new stuff soon. I still remember the impact of reading your Pathologic piece (still hoping to reach the necessary state of mind to engage it). Best of luck in you new endeavours!

  103. 05/07/2011 at 16:10 Acosta says:

    Err, the dark forces of internet are not allowing me to post today, how weird.

    Ok, third try! Quinns, you are an incredible writer and I will really miss you, hope to read your new stuff soon. I still have my copy of Pathologic that I rushed to buy from Amazon when I read your piece (still waiting for the right state of mind to fully engage it, not the easiest game to get into as you know). Best wishes!

  104. 05/07/2011 at 17:17 Flobulon says:

    QUUUUIIIIIINNNNNNSSSS!!!!
    I can’t think of anything witty to say, but your writing has always been sublime and I wish you all the best at your new job bottling iron supplements.

  105. 05/07/2011 at 19:17 Jimmy says:

    You were always the funnier one, Quinns.

  106. 06/07/2011 at 00:02 Ultra Superior says:

    I very much liked that mr.Smith as I do the other RPSies. I really think he wrote some of my favourite-ever-best pieces.

    What is he going to do instead?

  107. 06/07/2011 at 00:03 Ultra Superior says:

    :(

  108. 06/07/2011 at 14:21 cytokindness says:

    Creative differences?

  109. 06/07/2011 at 15:54 KillahMate says:

    Aw, come on! Quinns really picked up the slack when that Doctor Who chick left. He’s going to be sorely missed, that’s for sure.

    Seriously, best of luck man. And feel free to drop by as much as you like.

  110. 06/07/2011 at 16:03 KillahMate says:

    Go with iron, my friend. You shall be missed.

    (And, you know. Drop by whenever.)

  111. 07/07/2011 at 01:27 Pinky G says:

    Goodluck in the future Quinns.

  112. 11/07/2011 at 12:00 Uninteresting Curse File Implement says:

    What are all the jokes about iron referencing?

    Also: AAAAWWWWWW!!!

  113. 21/07/2011 at 13:09 Choca says:

    Quinns works for Paradox now ?

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