Ramblings of the Mad God, Day 4: Injustice

By Alec Meer on July 11th, 2011 at 3:45 pm.

You probably heard my screaming

All this, and for what?

God stinking dammit jesus bollocking christ you have to be shitting kidding me no cocking way this just isn’t fair I can’t bloody believe it whywhywhywhywhy for fuck’s sake god almighty I was doing so well whywhywhywhy I’m never playing this evil, evil, evil, evil, evil game ever again alright I’m playing it now but I hate it it’s the worst thing ever what did I do to deserve this god I’m so angry so incredibly angry it’s not my fault just because I was looking at a red hat and the ground and then bam, dead in one shot it doesn’t make any sense something must have gone wrong or the game was cheating or something I hate it I was going to beat I was just like one more kill from hitting level 20 the top level you can get and then I’d have been the king of the world and unlocked a new class and I was doing so well I’d killed these huge squid lord things and giant cubes and like a ghost king or something and there were priests everywhere so I was getting healed but then BAM dead with no warning, and I had all this incredible loot that’s now just lying in a field somewhere and someone’s who probably a complete bastard who kicks puppies has found it and now I bet he’s level 20 and he’s killed Oryx and everyone’s talking about how amazing he is and he’s probably even wearing that red hat that got me killed and if I insert a screenshot right now it’s probably going to break my flow but I’ll do it anyway because otherwise this post is going to look even more insane than it already does and here you go like you care but anyway

so there you go that was me doing amazing things before I died but then I did die and it’s not fair that I died and I bet you don’t even care do you, you don’t even care that I did manage to get back to the Nexus before the Snake Queen killed me and it was so exciting and from there I was incredibly careful and fought my way all the way to level 19 and I was sure, sure, sure I was going to get to 20 but then I didn’t and I don’t even know what killed me and now when I spellcheck this it’s going to underline it green and say ‘run-on sentence consider revising’ or something and I’ll just feel even worse like I’m a failure at everything and I’m so cross and so tired and I’m going to go to sleep now and I’m definitely not going to start playing Realm of the Mad God again definitely not an archer with the Fire Bow I managed to stash before I died and definitely not a Rogue with the rare invisibility cloak or a wizard with the +100 Magic ring I found and definitely not ever again ever until tomorrow or maybe right now and whatever I do I’m going to be punished for it and it’s going to be horrible but I won’t be able to stop I wish I’d never started but this game is great and god it’s so unfaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir.

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56 Comments »

  1. inawarminister says:

    It really lives up to the name
    Ramblings of the Mad God: Alec Meer, eh?

  2. sonofsanta says:

    *hugs*

    In a totally manly way, of course

    *cough*

  3. Shroom says:

    ….trying….so….hard…not….to….play……urgggghhhh

  4. 4026 says:

    I’m beginning to think this game should carry a health warning.

  5. Super Bladesman says:

    And breathe… :D

  6. medwards says:

    Ever since reading the Day 2 article, this has been the story of my life in this godforsaken shiteating sarlacc pit of a game. Last night my priest died at level 19, the day before my warrior at 18. Before that I had a good wizard run to 18. Just… brutal.

    I bought Magicka because it looked like it might play roughly the same but not need to be so neurotically addictive because it isn’t a f2p game. *crosses fingers*

    • Alexander Norris says:

      Magicka isn’t massively multiplayer or a roguelike and is also filled with bullshit deaths.

      It’s pretty damn funny, though.

    • thebigJ_A says:

      Where on Earth did you get access to the day 2 post? He didn’t even write it!

      Did you read it in his MIND?!?

  7. Mr_Day says:

    Relevant.

    EDIT: I’ll admit it, I just think that bit is funny. You can stop after the scene changes.

  8. Torgen says:

    SO glad I hurt my back and there’s no possible way to play this game on this crappy laptop while confined to bed. Thank you SO much, Alec, for making me feel so much better about circumstances! The game can’t get me here! The game can’t get me here!

  9. Nallen says:

    For additional lulz read in the voice of Vicky Pollard.

  10. Alaric says:

    I played this a long time ago and it was meh. After your articles I tried it again and it was still meh.

    Sorry you died though.

    • DrGonzo says:

      Will people stop using meh? It frustrates the hell out of me. “Can you not justify any actual criticism of a game? Too lazy to think of some? Try out our Brand New Meh™!”

    • Alaric says:

      Charlie, do you actually expect any whatsoever opinion to be thoroughly and conclusively explained and justified? Would you also like footnotes and a bibliography? When I review games I analyze and explain, but I wasn’t reviewing it, I just said that I didn’t like it all that much. Or do you think that it is impossible to come up with what you call “actual criticisms” for this game?

      Meh = not noteworthy or consequential enough to warrant an in-depth discussion. Doesn’t mean it’s bad, just means it’s neither fun nor addictive for me.

    • Urthman says:

      “Meh” is the sound you make when you glance at an RPS article and it’s not something you’re interested in.

      Actually clicking on the article, scrolling down, and typing “meh” in the comments of the article is like flashing someone on the subway. No one wants to see that. No one knows why you wanted to show it to us.

    • Jim Rossignol says:

      I’d spam meh, but it would have consequences for other, useful words.

  11. McDan says:

    Most emorional piece there has been on RPS, everyone who’s played the game knows how you feel alec, we’re with you.

  12. man-eater chimp says:

    RIP

  13. MCM says:

    I used to dislike reading Alec Meer posts. Now I can at least enjoy a measure of schadenfreude when reading them.

  14. RadioactiveMan says:

    Its a good thing you didn’t get to level 20, because I think the game bogs down a bit after that.

    The end game is kind of silly. Grinding gods by yourself to get better gear is quite slow and difficult, and murdering gods with a group becomes a race to pick up whatever is dropped. And all the grinding is kind of useless, because fighting Onyx is not that difficult. With the whole population of the server dropped into fight him, he always seems to die easily, and grindy uber-gear is not needed to survive. I have not been to the Wine Cellar yet, but all the other caves do not require exceptional gear either (just a mob of accomplices who have pressed the “T” key).

    In short, I thought the end game was boring and pointless. But thats just me! It reminds me why I stopped play WoW years ago. More and more time, for less and less progression. Diminishing returns are no fun. :)

    I would prefer if end game just kept going, in an ever-expanding world. I love the mechanic in this game, with the enemies becoming progressively more difficult the further you go. I like that formerly difficult enemies become a walk in the park as you progress. Its too bad that mechanic breaks down at god land. I would like to see more and more difficult enemies that require more and more complicated strategies. Perhaps they could also introduce new abilities or equipment options for your character at a certain level. Basically, I want some Katamari Damacy injected into this game. Continuous character growth and challenge, forever, please. Is that too much to ask?

    • ajsheppard says:

      Actually if you play USWEst there are fewer players and Oryx can be more of a challenge. Or just look for a realm with fewer players. I ended up at the end once with about 30 dudes, half were dead by the end. It was truly a fight to the finish.

    • Chiller says:

      Last time I killed Oryx there were only 4 of us left in the end. It was a fun fight. Of course, I still didn’t reach any of the loot, except for my soulbound bag.

  15. busfahrer says:

    Your writing reminded me of Ulysses’ last chapter, ‘Penelope’

    • Raiyan 1.0 says:

      This reminds me of the time when I was a kid learning about grammatical periods, commas and run-on sentences and then getting to read the last para of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
      I never took Shakespeare seriously as a child. Silly Shakespeare, I used to say.

      OT: After reading the first five sentences of Meer’s aticle, I was worried I might see a period which might break the flow of the post. I’m glad my fear was unfounded. Didn’t like the commas and that screenshot in the middle, though. Should have lost them, Alec.

    • Radiant says:

      Shakespeare wrote under many pen names.
      One of which was Snake Plisskin.

    • Premium User Badge amishmonster says:

      This article is about the limit of how much stream of consciousness I can enjoy, however. And it’d be about a sentence and a half for Joyce.

  16. djbriandamage says:

    I’m wondering whether Guild Wars 2′s out-in-the-open public quests are going to feel second-hat compared to this game now. Despite the awful immature community it’s one of the best vehicles for pugging ever conceived.

  17. Lobosolitario says:

    Been playing since your first article and I’ve made it to 20 so far with the Warrior, Mage, Priest, Rogue and Necromancer. Found Priest to be the easiest, and Warrior the hardest – that lack of range is a killer. I also picked up a +100 HP ring somewhere along the way, which has made surviving the trip to 20 a hell of a lot easier.

    If you’d like a hand, feel free to look up JBconCola – I’ll be happy to back you up if I’m online :)

    • JellyfishGreen says:

      I had to take an emotional break after my warrior died at 17 on the edge of godland. Hard to explain to my wife and kids why I was grouchy for the next hour but maybe I shouldn’t have let the kids ask me questions about the game during battle.
      In solitude the next day, I got my second wizard to level 20 with caution. Since then, he’s seen Onyx twice and helped so many others to level up he’s earned a 150-fame star. :)

  18. Acosta says:

    hahaha, you nailed the “WoW forum” style. I had a lot of fun reading that, thanks Alec!

  19. ajsheppard says:

    In this game, the Mad God is you.

  20. Conor says:

    I feel your pain :(

  21. vlonk says:

    Oh my god I failed you!
    I feel so ashamed, really.
    You see that dude on the picture? Vlonk? Yeah? That Priest? That is me.
    Probably mere seconds before Ento fell on the pixely green fields of glory.
    Alas, I spoke the sermon, blessed your soul, performed the rite of passage and… probably took your stuff ?!
    But only for the good cause and the church and for your funeral costs etc. ,-)

  22. pipman3000 says:

    i just lost a level 19 priest yesterday :(

    i tried so hard and got so far
    but in the end it doesn’t even matter
    i had to fall to lose it all
    but in the end it doesn’t even matter

  23. Premium User Badge Bahumat says:

    I know your pain, sir. I shall lift a pint and dram in sympathy.

  24. BunnyPuncher says:

    How many gods did you kill?

    I reached level 20 on the second runthrough, the first one being miserably short. Sadly I died there after teleporting straight into a hailstorm of fire while looking for nice loot. I still have no idea what my objective was supposed to be (loot?) but I did get a nice “gods killed: 6″ statistic. I didnt notice killing any gods but its a nice statistic… anyone know which ones are the gods and what I was actually supposed to do at level 20?

    • Reddin says:

      I was wondering the same thing about what to do at lvl 20, and apparently you’re supposed to grind Gods for stat potions to max out character stats. Which seems like quite a dangerous game to play without extra saveslots (e.g. grind stat potions with one character for the other).
      For now I just focus on unlocking all classes and then try to die in a blaze of glory.

  25. thesundaybest says:

    I can only dream of Level 19. And in that dream, I don’t keep dying at Level 12.

  26. Zepposlav says:

    Start playing Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup -> Web Tiles version instead. Realm of the Mad god is shit compared to this glorious dungeon crawler. ;] It’s much more frustrating too.

  27. Reddin says:

    I’ve been playing this since the first post about it from Alec, but only had an archer reach lvl 20. That was the third character I made. I even changed the panic button to ‘F’ since then, but I always get too cocky/impatient at some point.
    I think I should probably play a bit more careful if I ever want to unlock some more classes though, instead of wandering into the wilderness at level 7 looking for the slime things and lesser gods to solo. It usually goes pretty well until I’m backing away, trying to kite a Cthulhu looking thing away from his mates, straight into another group of monsters.
    I like fighting the Ent ancients, Lichs and Deathmages though.
    Perhaps I should try more of the cheaper things like trains or opened dungeons in the Nexus. Or at least find a decent group of people instead of trying to solo all the time.
    It’s only in solo that I get into the bullet hell ‘zone’ though. The rest is just chaos to me, not knowing if a projectile can hurt me or not.
    If I still want to play after unlocking the classes I’ll probably buy €15 worth of coins (which is about what I’m willing to pay for an indie game) to spend on a character slot and some storage space.

  28. BeamSplashX says:

    This sounds like a less obscenely ridiculous, multiplayer version of GINORMO SWORD.

  29. thebigJ_A says:

    It’s just a twin-stick shooter.

  30. MartinNr5 says:

    Haha, loved this. :)

  31. merrickal says:

    Dear god I just did that! Was training and somehow people banded together and we went up north to slay squiggly eyeballs.

    .. Just when I thought the priest was behind me.. died.. at level 19!!! Arrrggghhh!!!

  32. Premium User Badge distantlurker says:

    I finally got around to reading all the days. Fantastic fun. Thanks Alec run on sentences for the win aren’t they though.