Tree-Killers: The Valve Comic Collection

By Alec Meer on July 11th, 2011 at 10:10 am.

An ape will die on every page

Over the last few years, Valve have been quietly honing the fine art of viral marketing in an online age, and comics have been a big part of that. A cartel of in-house writers and the excellent pencils of Michael Avon Oeming (and others) have created some rather splendid words’n’pictures. Of course, they were merely digital. HOW DARE YOU INSULT OUR EYEBALLS WITH YOUR CRUMMY JPEGS? Why, that’s for philistines and people too damned lazy to turn paper pages. This horrendous oversight and offence to everything that some angry guy somewhere probably holds dear is about to be corrected, thanks to a hardback compilation of Valve’s various Portal, Left 4 Dead and Team Fortress 2 comics due from august comic publisher Dark Horse later this year.

Headlining this $30 collection is The Sacrifice, the lengthy, funny and moving saga of flashback and tragedy which provided a coda (or at least as much as we’re likely to get for some time) to the bloody tale of the original Left 4 Dead survivors.

I’d guess Portal 2’s Lab Rat is also in there, along with any number of Team Fortress 2 funnybook vignettes. At last! You too can physically caress the impossible torso of Saxton Hale, albeit in paper form. Still, it’s a step up from licking your monitor.

And that’s all we know. Though given we’ve all read (presumably) all of the comics, we know quite a lot really. Oh: also, it’s 304 pages long and goes on sale on November 16.

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25 Comments »

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  1. Danny says:

    Yes, yes! Wonder if they’ll provide us with any new Saxton Hale goodness.

    PROPERTY DAMAGE.

  2. Choca says:

    64 pages of gorilla stabbing somehow sounds like not enough gorilla stabbing.

  3. Mashakosha says:

    I might be tempted, but with so many games coming out in November that I want, my poor student budget won’t be able to keep up. :(

    • Davee says:

      Trip to the US, need to get a job, Red Orchestra 2, Battlefield 3, PlanetSide 2, TES V Skyrim, upgrading my rig to run said games well and various interesting Indie games…

      ARGH MY WALLET, IT BURNS FROM LACK OF FUNDS.
      This would’ve been fun to get, but it’s a matter of prioritization…

      At least this is looking like an awesome autumn for gamers.

  4. McDan says:

    Oooo this looks good, even though I’ve read them all I’ll still buy it. You gotta live Saxton Hale.

    MODEST SUSPENSE FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.

  5. Vague-rant says:

    Arg. Presumably this is going to only be sold in Valve’s store? There’ve been a few times when I’ve wanted to buy some stuff from there when they were on sale for (relatively speaking) cheap, but the postage from Americaland always makes it far more expensive than I’d consider worth it.

    • T-Bone says:

      Oh yes, the P&P is too much from America. Tried to buy a Portal shirt for $19 and the shipping cost was more than double that. I really wanted that shirt as well. Q_Q

    • Danny says:

      I too wish Valve could sell their products overseas.

    • Kieron Gillen says:

      The story says it’s being published by comic publisher Dark Horse. So it should be available everywhere you can buy comics. Amazon will certainly have it.

      KG

    • Danny says:

      Hooray!

  6. Dawngreeter says:

    Do I get… erm.. paper hats? If I buy the comic, I mean?

  7. Jody Macgregor says:

    Everyone who has written a list of the greatest comics ever is going to have to go back and rewrite them now.

  8. Stevostin says:

    I’d rather pay for new, not yet read stuff.

  9. Robin_G says:

    The whole old fashioned action comic hero thing was way more charming when he wasn’t the grinning store shill.

  10. Raiyan 1.0 says:

    I really dislike the usage of the word ‘philistine.’ The Philistines originally were more advanced than their Canaanite neighbors in terms of commerce and technology, you know.

    • FRIENDLYUNIT says:

      Hence getting all cut and resorting to vilification and stupid name calling.

  11. Olivaw says:

    Lab Rat should be the goddamn headliner. The art in that comic was incredible.

    It is fucking baffling to me that the same guy who drew that also drew the goddamn awful fucking bullshit that was The Sacrifice.

    Yeah, I know, free shit, can’t complain, and I still read all of it, but holy jesus every single time Zoey (or someone else’s hand) was in a panel it became a surreal cubist nightmare. Picasso in his expressionist phase or something.