By Alec Meer on July 13th, 2011 at 4:08 pm.
I’ve got to admire Saint’s Row: The Third’s sheer determination to entirely depart the shores of normality, but at some point it’s just going to start frightening people. They’ll back away slowly, hands in the air, trying in too-calm voices with tell-tale quavers to say “Hey guy, hey. Hey. Why don’t we all just take a deep breath and think about this, huh? It’s alright. No-one’s going to hurt you. We’re all friends here, huh? Why don’t you just put that musket down and take the live scorpion off your head? It’s going to be okay. No wait Oh God…”
This trailer for the game’s retail DLC Professor Genki’s Hyper Ordinary Pre-Order Pack makes me think it’s not going to be okay. It makes me think it’s dangerous
One of these days, we’re going to walk into a room and see Saints Row: The Third in the corner, on its knees, its hands covered in blood. And it’ll look at us with an expression that says ‘I don’t even remember doing this, or why.’
Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, Saints Row. You think if you include absolutely everything in the world, then every single member of the human race will want to buy you, right? I know what you’re up to.
And you frighten me.
13/07/2011 at 16:11 bit_crusherrr says:
Day 1 purrchase.
13/07/2011 at 16:52 Dana says:
-125 days Preorder
13/07/2011 at 19:14 Gonefornow says:
+720 days Bargain Bucket
13/07/2011 at 22:03 nafe says:
+720 day bargain bucket? I’m betting it’ll be <£10 within the first year. Huzzah for PC! :D
14/07/2011 at 02:58 TariqOne says:
I love these guys. SR2 + friend = months of fun. This looks to be every bit as much, and more. Day one.
14/07/2011 at 04:14 meemtt says:
★ good web
=== w w w . j o r d a n f o r w o r l d . c o m ===
exquisite watches shirts,bags,hat and the decorations.We have good reputation, fashion products,
favourable price.—★FREE SHIPPING
13/07/2011 at 16:11 Danny says:
I think I’m having a seizure.
13/07/2011 at 16:20 Man Raised by Puffins says:
Don’t worry, this will help: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL0lNGXoP8E
13/07/2011 at 16:24 Danny says:
Great, well now I’ve died of BRIGHT COLOUR OVERLOAD.
13/07/2011 at 17:14 noerartnoe says:
That trailer really should have “May trigger seizures in photosensitive epileptics” in big letters on it. Thank jeebus my meds work, hehe.
(Doc never called it PSE though, just said that strobes might be a thing to avoid :P )
In other news: that’s just about insane enough to make me *want* the game rather than just being curious about it.
13/07/2011 at 18:25 Rinox says:
Or this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAfFfqiYLp0
(sip to 1.05)
13/07/2011 at 16:13 Nallen says:
What in God’s name?
13/07/2011 at 19:38 Meatloaf says:
God’s got nothing to do with this, son.
13/07/2011 at 21:22 Navagon says:
I think that this actually constitutes video evidence that there is no God. Or at least not a sober one.
13/07/2011 at 16:14 jellydonut says:
Please let me pre-order on Steam.
13/07/2011 at 17:14 tanith says:
I second that!
13/07/2011 at 16:15 John Walker says:
Best. Thing. Ever.
13/07/2011 at 16:21 Pop says:
Hey John, where you going with that octopus launcher in your hand?
13/07/2011 at 19:31 JackShandy says:
Octopus Laucher? I hardly know ‘er!
13/07/2011 at 19:48 tomeoftom says:
I said I’m gonna shoot my old lady, shoot her down town.
13/07/2011 at 23:41 Bodminzer says:
ENTER. THE. VOID.
13/07/2011 at 16:18 mwoody says:
I love the series, I love the trailer… I still hate hate HATE preorder and retailer-specific bonuses.
13/07/2011 at 17:56 Squeeby says:
It’s even more annoying that they have made the man cannon pre-order only, after showing it in a preview of the game and getting everyone all excited about it.
13/07/2011 at 21:06 FakeAssName says:
the pre-order pack is just a compilation of the game’s first three DLC items (the cannon truck, octopus launcher, and and cat suit) in one. even if you don’t pre-order you will still be able to get them later on as DLC.
14/07/2011 at 00:03 Squeeby says:
I shouldn’t have to buy them, especially not after they made it seem like they would be in the release version.
14/07/2011 at 03:08 FakeAssName says:
*shrug* not that I like DLC in any shape or form but if the games looks that appealing to you and you want those items free: pre-order.
I’m guessing that the truck and gun actually can be used without the DLC in specific missions, but you don’t get to keep them afterwords … same for that cool ass spaceship fighter plane thing.
14/07/2011 at 05:38 mwoody says:
I loved Saints Row 2 dearly, but the port had serious issues. We have every reason to wait for reviews before buying this game – or, at the very least, deciding whether to get it on console or PC. Preorders encourage uninformed buying decisions.
14/07/2011 at 06:53 Tom De Roeck says:
Even though there is no port this time? direct to pc?
13/07/2011 at 16:18 CyberBrent says:
Well this game looks fucked.
13/07/2011 at 16:19 CaspianRoach says:
You actually used Saints Row and ‘sanity’ in one sentence. Wow.
13/07/2011 at 20:26 Dozer says:
Was that the sentence that said “Saints Row has abandoned all sanity”?
13/07/2011 at 16:19 Mashakosha says:
See, usually the Internet would have desensitised me to this, but… what the ever-living shit was that?
I want it.
EDIT: It’s also the most insane thing I’ve seen since the Radox Hook advert. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSiYa3vE9-8
13/07/2011 at 16:32 Teddy Leach says:
Funnily enough, that’s what I thought of when I watched this.
13/07/2011 at 17:24 Delusibeta says:
It’s supposed to be a parody of Japanese zaniness, but the shot missed the Japanese landmass and is currently sinking somewhere off the coast of Hawaii.
Whether that’s necessarily a bad thing is another question entirely.
13/07/2011 at 23:27 Tams80 says:
I’m surprised that advert even made it onto TV.
13/07/2011 at 16:20 Man Raised by Puffins says:
TIGHT.
13/07/2011 at 16:21 Alex Bakke says:
Volition must be having the time of their fucking lives.
13/07/2011 at 17:19 meatshit says:
They always make the best weapons. Their last game let you wield a miniature unicorn that farts disintegrating rainbows: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aorjnobv-I0
13/07/2011 at 18:28 AmateurScience says:
The rainbow-farting unicorn had passed me by. Until now…
Now, life is better.
13/07/2011 at 16:22 AndrewC says:
MARVELLOUS!
I predict abject failure.
13/07/2011 at 16:22 Tei says:
* comment imploded *
13/07/2011 at 16:24 Everyone says:
That’s … amazing. I’ve never wanted to play a Saints Row game before as they looked far too pedestrian and boring, but I now want this more than anything. Except Ellie Goulding of course.
13/07/2011 at 16:43 ShineDog says:
Pedestrian? Nah, SR is what would have happened if Rockstar had continued down the wacky path of San Andreas’ weirder moments. It took untill SR2 for them to really figure this out (SR1 wasn’t really silly enough and wasn’t particularly great) but in SR2 they realised an important thing about these games, People want to be an arsehole, so they made the PC a completely sadistic wisecracking piece of shit, and made pretty much every mission about causing utter devastation.
For example, GTA4s first mission involves driving your cousin to your house. SR2s first mission involves escaping from a prison, in which you will destroy no less than 5 helicopters and 20 boats with a rocket launcher, and likely kill around 100 cops.
A race side mission in GTA involves cars going round a street. A race side mission in SR2 involves the player driving an explosive nuclear quadbike, exploding everything he touches in a desperate attempt to gain enough bonus time to, well, make more stuff explode.
I like GTA, don’t get me wrong, but SR2 is up with Just Cause 2 in the Ridiculous Shit Is Happening category, but with decent writing and a much denser play area making it, in my eyes, far more fun.
13/07/2011 at 21:54 Zogtee says:
Dude, there is nothing pedestrian about Saint’s Row. NOTHING. :D
14/07/2011 at 06:02 malkav11 says:
That’s not true. There are pedestrians, at least until you run them over and or light them on fire.
13/07/2011 at 16:27 DarkByke says:
so many… bright… colors! :)
13/07/2011 at 16:28 sinister agent says:
I … wha..? Th… I….
13/07/2011 at 16:29 Shockeh says:
This was precisely what I was about to type.
What the… I don’t even… what?
13/07/2011 at 17:15 Tei says:
You must buy RPS vowels DLC.
13/07/2011 at 17:31 Teddy Leach says:
Consonant, please, Carol.
13/07/2011 at 16:29 Kaira- says:
Can I have some of those drugs they use, please?
13/07/2011 at 16:30 ShineDog says:
For context, Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax is a gameshow in SR3 in the style of the running man, only with more epilepsy. I think the preorder stuff lets you use this outside of the show, everyone gets to play the show, but I have no idea whether the show is main or sidequest.
13/07/2011 at 16:31 Teddy Leach says:
I want this so much.
13/07/2011 at 16:32 PleasingFungus says:
It took me a while to realize that Professor Genki was the cat.
(In my defense: most cats are not professors.)
13/07/2011 at 17:29 MiniMatt says:
Yeah, mine’s only got a Masters.
13/07/2011 at 18:00 sasayan says:
(Are you sure about that? Did you ask to see their diploma?)
13/07/2011 at 16:34 Marijn says:
“Super Ethical Reality Climax”?? That’s fantastic.
13/07/2011 at 16:40 Icarus says:
I’m 27 and what is this
13/07/2011 at 16:41 fallingmagpie says:
Looks fantastic.
13/07/2011 at 16:44 Urthman says:
I’m still hoping they go far enough with the “You’re like a rock star and the crowds love you” thing to have people doing a weak little cheer for you as you crunch them under the tires of your vehicle.
When you fire pedestrians out of the Manapult, they need to be shrieking, “Protagonist’s Name! Ohmygod, you’re so aweso—[SPLAT!]“
13/07/2011 at 16:47 sinister agent says:
Agreed. Hearing someone painfully croak out a fading, doppler-effect complete “yayyy!” as they sail over the bonnet of your car would likely cripple me.
Also bonus points on the manapult if they have an “I regret nothiiiiiing!”
13/07/2011 at 16:46 Moni says:
Eh, looks like an average day at the office.
(well, someone has to be cynical about the trailer here)
13/07/2011 at 16:51 Darkelp says:
I want this game based on the two dancing moves shown at 0.40 alone, the rest is a bonus.
13/07/2011 at 16:54 Was Neurotic says:
I’m 38 and I haven’t got a clue, but I knows I wants some.
13/07/2011 at 16:54 GallonOfAlan says:
This is looking increasingly like GTA with the fun put back into it.
13/07/2011 at 17:14 godgoo says:
This game looks like it’s from THE FUTURE AND THE PAST!
13/07/2011 at 17:16 TheApologist says:
Done. I’ll be having this.
13/07/2011 at 17:27 shoptroll says:
EA should take notes. This is a lot better offer than anything they’ve done lately.
Seriously though, I haven’t been this interested in a GTA style game since Vice City. Want.
13/07/2011 at 17:41 JFS says:
what is this I don’t even
I think that was in order.
13/07/2011 at 17:49 Lu-Tze says:
The Platinum version comes with an autotuning headset. This game is bananas.
13/07/2011 at 17:58 Forceflow says:
Let’s just hope it’s more optimized than the horrible, horrible port Saints Row 2 was. Really, people complaining about GTA IV being infected with consolitis, I urge you to try Saints Row 2. Weep ‘em.
13/07/2011 at 19:10 Brumisator says:
Have no fear, Volition promised not to farm out the PC port, unlike their previous games.
13/07/2011 at 22:22 Dominic White says:
Word is that the Red Faction Armageddon port (done in-house by Volition for once) was great, and ran like a dream on even a halfway decent PC. If they keep that up, SR3 should be golden on PC.
13/07/2011 at 18:03 Ralphomon says:
I am becoming increasingly psyched about Saints Row 3. It looks old-school bananas.
13/07/2011 at 18:03 bluebogle says:
I may just have to pre-order this. SR has completely overtaken my interest in GTA.
13/07/2011 at 18:12 Smannesman says:
I’ve always loved the Saints Row series and I love Japanese insanity, must buy for me.
13/07/2011 at 18:47 Al__S says:
Hmm, no Pre-Order on steam yet- may have to (SHOCK!) pre-order an actual, boxed, game. Haven’t done that in actual years.
13/07/2011 at 19:22 magnus says:
Well I’m sold.
13/07/2011 at 19:30 mondomau says:
Oh, well done. Sold.
Not even for the pack itself, but because that’s sheer comedy gold and they deserve a reward….
13/07/2011 at 19:31 Squirrelfanatic says:
Sadly, the game probably won’t be half as good as that trailer suggests. Cute pussy though.
13/07/2011 at 20:05 Eukatheude says:
Awesome! Still, i’m afraid the game won’t be half as fun.
13/07/2011 at 20:44 Skystrider says:
Wot?
That is all.
Dangerous indeed.
13/07/2011 at 21:04 kasztelan says:
A proper sequel to Duke Nukem at last.
13/07/2011 at 22:09 mkultra says:
I was doing fine. But then I lost my shit when the cat clotheslines a pedestrian at 0:48.
That and the constant crotch camera flashes.
13/07/2011 at 22:26 Stochastic says:
“May Contain Content Inappropriate For Children” should be revised to “May Contain Content Inappropriate for People Who Retain a Grip on Reality/Have Not Watched Japanese Game Shows.”
13/07/2011 at 22:53 Stevostin says:
Ok, I may want to preorder that one.
14/07/2011 at 04:04 poop says:
bit of enter the void in that trailer, nice
14/07/2011 at 05:23 luckystriker says:
First game I’ll ever pre-order I think. If you haven’t already check out the gameplay trailer with developer commentary at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX2Gn5d5kMc
14/07/2011 at 08:32 GoliathBro says:
Yes.
Starting from the very first nut punch teaser, this is hands down by far the greatest marketing for anything, ever.
14/07/2011 at 09:33 Kaje says:
The more I read about this game, the more I watch videos of this game, the more I want the god damn game right this second!
I can’t fecking wait!
I just hope they’ve replaced the British selectable character accent with one that sounds more authentic and not the Australian/British hybrid…
14/07/2011 at 14:48 Dominic White says:
The vaguely Aussie/British voice was great, because it let me create Saxton Hale in SR2. Seriously, near-100% comic accurate recreation, and you can even partake in his favourite hobby: Brutalizing hippies!
The best thing is that almost all the dialogue makes sense for Hale, too.
17/07/2011 at 23:06 soyadude says:
Sorry, I have erection. I am sorry!!!