Red Grockets Where? A New TF2 Mystery

By Alec Meer on July 19th, 2011 at 3:03 pm.

Calling it: Pyro is Marvin the Martian

Another mystery is why it just took me five tries to spell ‘mystery’ correctly. A better msytery is why some new and rather large new scenery objects have started showing up in selected Team Fortress 2 maps. They look like rocket ships, or possibly just rockets – but what do they mean? I put ‘mean’ in italics there, so it would sound like I was whining like a pitiful child who wants everything nownownow. Did it work?

All we know, via enterprising explorers of the fabled land that is the Source SDK, is that they might be called ‘Grockets.’ Or they might just be called ‘rockets’, and the g prefix is just a internal file naming system. In other words, WE KNOW NOTHING.

Team Fortress isn’t exactly unfamiliar with little ARGing ahead of a new feature unveiling, so it’s more than likely this heralds something. An alien invasion? The long-awaited Meet The Pyro? A new class? A tie-in promotion with another game? Hints about a future Valve title? Simply a delivery of new hats?

There sure are a lot of things I could put question marks after. I’ll stop now. You can follow the conspiracy theories on the Steam forum thread that dug this up.

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96 Comments »

  1. Teddy Leach says:

    A third alien team, obviously.

    EDIT: Morse Code is occasionally being played in the main menu. Someone needs to get on that.

    • busfahrer says:

      There was a CTF mod for Quake 3 called Tribal CTF that had 3 teams

      • Tei says:

        The original TeamFortress seems to supported 4 teams. I even remember seeing some “4forts” map. *cue to Reservoir Dogs music* I don’t think anyone wanted to play in the Mr.Brown team or Mr.Pee team.

        • PanzerVaughn says:

          Oh god i played 4fort once. That was not friendly to my 14yearold sniper-inept self.

        • Premium User Badge Malibu Stacey says:

          In TFC Hunted technically had 3 teams. Snipers were Yellow, bodyguards were Red & the Civilian alone was Blue although the map was set up so that Blue & Red were allies so there was no way to grief. I also remember playing a CTF map which had a single Demoman on Green who was supposed to be the “leader” of Yellow in a similar manner.

        • NateN says:

          The 4 team TFC structure allowed for the “Hunted” structure, which I personally still miss. However, I’m not sure how to make the mental jump from hidden rockets to a 3rd team….

      • Uglycat says:

        Unreal Tournament had a 4 team mod that was a blast.

        • Premium User Badge shoptroll says:

          That’s no mod. It was baked in natively. You’re probably thinking about the later iterations which dropped the green and yellow team colors.

  2. Ace Jon says:

    The ‘g’ stands for green, and this precedes the 3-team update.

    • SaVi says:

      Don’t speak of such things, I still remember PVKII with the Vikings still attacking the Knights even though the Pirates were already hogging all the chests on their imba island.

    • Kaira- says:

      Wait wait wait.
      What if ‘g’ stands for G-man?

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Someone theorised that on the Steam thread. But we have to remember that there were similar EP 3 theories last time.

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      Yes, G is for G-man. And if we re-arrange the word “rocket” we get the word “terock,” which can only mean one thing: Half Life 3 is actually a Turok game where you play as the G-man. Proof.

    • liquidsoap89 says:

      “What if ‘g’ stands for G-man?”

      Or even “gnome”…

    • G_Man_007 says:

      I couldn’t posssssssibly comment…

    • Anton says:

      ‘g’ is silent as in ‘gnome’. So it is pronounced as ‘rocket’

  3. Protagoras says:

    EP THRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    (I put ‘EP THREE’ in italics there, so it would sound like I was whining like a pitiful child who wants everything nownownow. Did it work? Did VALVe hear my pleas?)

  4. Tei says:

    It can’t be Kerbal Space Program in Steam, with achievements.

  5. Derppy says:

    The rocket is actually a fish, which is sucking a fishing bobber.

    Proof

  6. tobyjk says:

    Space hats are coming

  7. Moni says:

    My favourite random theory so far is: It’s a tie in with the re-entry of the space shuttle Atlantis on Thursday, and it will finally reveal the Pyro is an alien, and the Engineer will get some new hats.

    • Premium User Badge shoptroll says:

      I was thinking it might be space shuttle and/or engineer related. They made a bit of a fuss about how the Engineer didn’t get much love in the Uber update. This might be “payback”.

    • LionsPhil says:

      The new Engineer wrench gives him a sentry gun which fires lobs big, smouldering, zeerust nuclear rockets across the map.

    • Urthman says:

      I thought the plan was for us all to dress up like apes for when the shuttle gets back.

    • Scandalon says:

      Urthman (nice name in context), you win the thread.

  8. hernismall says:

    Despicable me 2

  9. CaspianRoach says:

    This is probably a hint of Valve planning to invest into private space exploring program. Gabe wants to go to Mars!

  10. Tei says:

    It can’t be a free DLC for Portal 2 in the moon (with gravity puzzles).

    • Wulf says:

      Perhaps they’ve even brought in American McGee to work on this top-secret project!

      …that was a long shot. Sorry.

  11. Flameberge says:

    Maybe it’s Gnome Chompski from Episode 2 returning from being locked in a rocket by Gordon Freeman.

  12. Premium User Badge shoptroll says:

    If this was a tie-in with another game, what would it be? Maybe that Gorg game that was just annouced? Seems a bit early for that. Spore 2: Revenge of the Grox?

    Portal 2 DLC related? DotA 2? Alien Swarm DLC?

    Maybe some space themed maps? 1950′s sci-fi moon bases would definitely fit the art style.

    Probably not much to be worried about regardless, lest we all get disappointed when it turns out to just be some space helmets.

    • tequibo says:

      There is also a F-STOP, experimental prototype, that mentioned in “Portal 2 Last Hours”. They tried to make it into Portal 2, but ditched it, since it have no portals, and playtesters wanted portals and Chell, so they decided to make it to separate game.

  13. PanzerVaughn says:

    There was some community that rose out of the Valve Arg, “The Indie ARG Project” whom is starting a thing RIGHT NOW. Led by “Leveraged” (who now has become Kolya). He’s supposibly involved with some manner of developer, it’d hardly be a indie game arg without any games. I wouldn’t doubt Valves involvement in some manner.
    http://www.valvearg.com/secretproject is said to redirect to a different, more proper, less FAQ page within a week, right now the only canon i know of is Kolya’s characters twitter.
    http://twitter.com/#!/komradekolya

    • tstapp1026 says:

      is it me, or does the first banner look like a russian Lego logo?

  14. Evil Otto says:

    Pyro is an alien, obviously.

  15. Dawngreeter says:

    I think it’s something that’s supposed to get people talking about TF2.

  16. Teddy Leach says:

    Agh! I made a comment about a third alien team, and it’s been deleted! I smell a conspiracy.

  17. Real Horrorshow says:

    I hope its space maps. It would fit with the 60s motif.

  18. Rossi says:

    Maybe an update to mark the end of the Space Shuttle program? Just a thought.

  19. zeroskill says:

    I want that rocket….on my HEAD. LIKE A HAT!

  20. skalpadda says:

    Headcrabs.

  21. dragonhunter21 says:

    Looks like Engie started playing Kerbal Space Program- Home Edition.

  22. Sicram says:

    It’s absolutely nothing! Nada, null, zip, zero. It’s just Valve trolling…

    (Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised… those sneaky bastards)

  23. Jams O'Donnell says:

    Female character models. Because ladies are from space.

  24. nemryn says:

    A new game mode where you have to drop off a garden gnome at the rocket!

  25. nemryn says:

    Serious Mode: If there is a 3rd team, it won’t be GRN. Valve puts a lot of work into making sure that the characters, teams, etc are all immediately distinguishable, and red-green colorblindness is a thing. RNG or YLO are more likely.

  26. Koozer says:

    Alien wave attack maps? Space maps? Astronaut helmets? Oh the possibilities!

    Also, thinking up a ‘Meet the Pyro’ will be the hardest thing Valve have ever done.

  27. Premium User Badge Anthile says:

    100% certain it’s the Meet The Pyro and hopefully with a decent retool of his/her mechanics so that the flamethrower actually kills people.

    • Baf says:

      My experience is that the Pyro kills plenty of people. He just does it by air-blasting them off bridges into bottomless pits.

    • Tomm says:

      I’m a Pyro and I kill plenty of people thanks very much. Degreaser and Axestinguisher is a deadly combo.

  28. Davee says:

    What?! I have been in the planning stage for an awesome spaceship-bound map for TF2 for a while now…

    Way to steal my toughts, Valve. Again.

    *puts tin foil hat back on*

  29. Noun says:

    Didn’t Valve mention something about a boss battle game mode? Green giant alien Hale?

  30. Tei says:

    *wrong reply*

  31. Robin_G says:

    Another update. Another batch of gimmicky weapons and gaudy hats. Some of which may be space themed, mostly though, it will just be more polycount contest loser dregs. Hurrah, and I still haven’t even gotten most of the last batch thanks to the Random number generators that make buying overpriced virtual items seem like a good idea.

    Seriously though, I hope its a new mode of some substance, like the one that has been teased for some time now. That would be neat.

  32. TheFlyingWooly says:

    Moon base map?

  33. iWHUT says:

  34. sonicblastoise says:

    Looks like my failed Kerbal Space Program Shuttle. So many people starting making and crashing shuttles that they are ending up in other games.

  35. Pie4Pigs says:

    http://oi54.tinypic.com/r7993k.jpg

    The grockets are fairly easy to access in gmod.

  36. Squishpoke says:

    PYRO IS ALIEN

  37. Mike says:

    *Goes out on a very precarious limb*

    GROCKET = GNOME = Native Linux support (Ubuntu in particular).

  38. xrabohrok says:

    Some artist somewhere in Valve HQ is reading this and yelling “I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY CHRIST ALMIGHTY”.

  39. EveningNewbs says:

    There had better be headcrabs pouring out of those rockets.

  40. Synesthesia says:

    pyro is a beast. Degreaser, coupled with axtinguisher and a quickswitched flare gun that crits when the enemy is on fire, is just too much. You sir, are not a very good pyro.
    or you just dont have a degreaser, just wait for it.

  41. TheGroovyMule says:

    Like all great games, it’s going to be made better by setting it in space!

  42. FRIENDLYUNIT says:

    Rockets? G for gorillas? I have two words to reveal it all for you people:

    Poopy Joe.

  43. mda says:

    “I put ‘mean’ in italics there, so it would sound like I was whining like a pitiful child who wants everything nownownow. Did it work?”

    No. I thought ‘what does it mean‘ as in relation to life, the universe, and everything.

  44. Burning Man says:

    You alls claim to British, but how is it that NONE of you have mentioned this song yet? – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__DrJI7mTHQ

    A travesty, old chaps.

  45. Masked Dave says:

    Except that in the original TFC, the third team *was* green. So they might want to stick to that.

    I loved it when the Green team was available.

  46. J03YW says:

    POOPY JOE IS COMING BACK