Rues De La Colère: The Asskickers Demo

By Alec Meer on July 22nd, 2011 at 1:52 pm.

(Is that right? Does that mean Streets of Rage? Or at least Streets of Anger, which was the only way I could force Google Translate to work. In either case, it’s not my fault, it’s Google’s. Blame Google. Blame them in the face. Then constantly link to RPS posts so we show up higher in search rankings or whatever, please. Man, SEO is just the most depressing thing ever). Distinctly (and knowingly) European side-scrolling man-thumper The Asskickers arrived a few weeks back, but lamentably lacked a demo. Devs Ago-Games have seen the light, and snuck out a 170MB trial for PC and/or Mac with which you can ascertain whether or not clobbering well-dressed Franco-Belgian rogues is to your tastes.

If it is, the full $9/£6 game’s now made its way to Gamersgate, Impulse and a couple of Mac-specific digital stores, as well as direct from the devs.

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60 Comments »

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  1. The Tupper says:

    Whoa. Careful out there, folks – the French are looking for a fight.

    • sarbian says:

      You can’t fight us, we run too fast.

    • Gnoupi says:

      Nope, we surrendered that one. (am I doing it good?)

    • sarbian says:

      Not aggressive enough. We get bashed for our cowardice twice a day, we are used to much stronger stuff.

    • patricij says:

      inb4thewhiteflag

    • Alexander Norris says:

      Every time someone makes a surrender monkey joke I quietly chuckle, because odds are their country hasn’t conquered Europe at least twice, or been the dominant hyper-power in the known world for most of the last 1500 years and consequently driven technological development for almost as long.

    • Tatourmi says:

      I too am always a bit surprised by that. I understand it being funny and stuff, and accept it as such. It is fine to have people making stupid jokes about your country, I often make stupid jokes about my friends as well, but I really don’t understand where it takes its roots.

      The french military kicked a lot of ass in a lot of different times (For a lot of bad reasons too), and rarely did it just run away as far as I know.

    • Wagstaff says:

      ”War is their business, and they do their business”
      That’s what they do. Don’t tread on the…gallic rooster, I guess?

    • Quirk says:

      What I find intriguing about the whole “surrender monkey” schtick is that it’s largely an American thing. Right after World War II, the nation with the reputation in the UK for being comicly inept at fighting was the Italians, after the extremely one-sided affair that was Operation Compass. To go back a little further though the Americans would have been extremely unlikely to have won their War of Independence without French help; without the naval Battle of the Chesapeake, Yorktown would have been reinforced by the British, and the actual siege of Yorktown boasted as many French regular soldiers as Americans. Not only French military support, but French financial support were vital. In many ways France’s position in that war with regard to the US closely corresponds to the position the US took in supporting the UK in World War II. The very last people you’d therefore expect to see disparaging French military capability are the Americans, which is why I find it so curious that they appear to be at the front of the queue.

    • sarbian says:

      @Tatourmi
      It comes mostly form WWII, and a little form WWI
      In WWII the german blitz got thru our defense with no trouble ( since they got around them like they did 20 years earlier ). They came with a modern army and kicked the ass of the french army and it’s 19th century gear. We fought hard but lost ground fast.
      And we surrendered. Which was better than having the remaining of our army being slaughtered. German occupation came and we got branded as coward who surrender at the first sight of trouble.
      I don’t care. I know that we are not coward, and I know that those who say that can’t find France on a map ^^
      But it’s a nice troll bait :D

    • Wagstaff says:

      Here in Canada, the French pretty much abandoned the colony to the British, but they had other wars to wage, and small problems at home, so cowardice wasn’t the reason why they left Nouvelle-France.

    • Tatourmi says:

      Is that really the reason? Oh well. Why not. (But I would like to point out that, if it might come from our having our ass kicked hard and swift in the second world war, it certainly does not come from the first one. “France” was incredibly aggressive and nationalist at the time due to the loss of the alsace-lorraine region during the 1870 war.)

    • Meneldil says:

      @Sarbian, that’s ridiculously wrong. If even french people spread misconception about the french army in WWII, that’s pretty lame.
      In 1940, France had the second biggest army in the world (behind USSR), and had by a fair margin a better equipment than the Germans. Guns, vehicules, tanks… Thanks to the Front Populaire (socialist and moderate left government), France quickly developped her army (again), and by 1939, it had the best tanks in the world, raw-power wise. The B2 and Somua could hardly be hurted by german tanks, for example.
      When France actually declared war in late 1939, Hitler’s first reaction was to dirty his pant.
      The only department were France (along with UK) was lacking was the air power. New planes were in production, but to few and far inbetween on the front. Saddly, it was crucial, and meant the country’s doom. The invicible tanks got bombed to oblivion, while the infantry division got facerolled by the Blitzkrieg.
      As for WWI, I don’t see how it would be a root of the lame french-are-lame jokes, since France took, with Germany and Russia, most of the blunt of the war. Since hundred of thousands of young frenchmen died in the fields of the Somme, Verdun, the Marne, without ever looking back. Since the french didn’t do anyworse than Ze Germans (and actually often did better).. Whoever thinks of WWI when making such jokes really has no clue.

      And as a conclusion, I find it incredibly sad that every single topic that countains France immediatly degenerate into “surrendering monkeys” spamfest. I do wonder now, why the same thing does not happen when the country in question is the US (trashy, ignorant, illiterrate, narrowminded) or the UK (smelly, hairy, drunkard, teenage pregnancy and bad teeth)?

      I wouldn’t be surprised if this were some random internet forum full of trolls, but I expected better from RPS.

    • metalangel says:

      @Meneldil: Even the BBC is in on those sort of crap now, with their recent flame baiting piece on ‘Americanisms’… the sheer hatred and vitriol in the ‘top 50′ that readers submitted was staggering.

      I had believed that people had become more tolerant but it seems I was wrong. Bile-filled comments are still regularly posted against articles that dared to use ‘aluminum’ or ‘math’ where British readers could see it, the perpetrators of these imagined* crimes against the language then being accused of being overweight gunslinging inbreds who drive their huge poorly manoeuvrable cars on the wrong side of the road to go buy more burgers paid for by illegal wars and bad television shows (is that everything?).

      *where they come from, it’s correct, after all.

    • gwathdring says:

      The illegal wars part is fair. We’re rather famous for them, by now.

      More seriously, it is indeed depressing. I’m the first person to correct people who joke about French surrender by pointing out all the times France as a nation performed acts of aggression, good and bad, the likes of which stand out in the long line of history and also how much less the US mattered in World War II than we Americans are so happy to think it did… also how much of our equipment and intel came from Britain and France (especially in WWI). I’m also the first to berate incorrect perceptions of American lifestyle as well, though I don’t often come across non-Americans outside of college since my exchange program in France.

      I have many disagreements with my country. I am quite unhappy with it, at the moment, and I see a lot of broad-spectrum ignorance of both blameless and careless sorts. It’s disheartening. But there are things about this land and this government that I wouldn’t trade for any other. I like to think of myself as a global citizen, not tied to any one group of people. But I certainly have a fondness for the American judicial system as much as I admire the legislative system of Britain. I yearn for the culture of intellectualism that I see in Europe and the greater percentage of politicians who, despicable or not, can actually speak and sound coherent and intelligent and self-possessed that I see in so many other places. But I’m pretty happy living here and I’m not ashamed to be considered an American. I don’t much care for George Washington. But living in the country that sprouted with the help of dear old Ben Franklin feels pretty damn awesome. I think, though I’m not an especially nationalist person in the first place, I can say I’m proud to be American. But I think there are a lot of countries I could be proud to live in, and I don’t begrudge people their pride in countries I’d shy away from even visiting. Why can’t we all just get along?

      Also, I’m never putting on one of those bloody flag pins. Patriotism my foot, they’re just plain silly. If they really care so much about the flag, maybe they should real the U.S. Flag code. I did, and while it isn’t legally enforcible, it prohibits the existence of things like Flag Pins. On the other hand, the U.S. Flag code is really really really really weird so nevermind that part. It’s good for a laugh, if any of you are into that kind of obscure, dry sort of stuff.

  2. Kefren says:

    For once my comment hasn’t gone to the bottom.

  3. Zanpa says:

    For once, Google translate was right!

    • Xocrates says:

      Actually, while my french is bit (read: a lot) rusty, I think that actually means “Streets of the Rage”

    • Alexander Norris says:

      That is a direct translation, and also wrong. Alec’s title does actually mean “Streets of Anger.”

      “Les rues de la rage” would be Streets of Rage but it sounds wrong.

    • Tatourmi says:

      Yep, we would rather use an adjective for that. “Les rues enragées” or something. Les rues de la colère is actually perfect, almost poetic some would say.

  4. Gnurf says:

    I think we would say “Rues Enragées” for “Streets of Rage”.
    Little quizz (no Google !) :
    – Combattant des Rues
    – Furie Fatale
    – La Hache Dorée
    – Tortues Ninja Mutantes Adolescentes
    – Le Combat Final
    and more modern :
    – La Main de Dieu
    – Quatre Vingt Dix Neuf Nuits
    – Le Diable Pourrait Pleurer
    – Dieu de la Guerre

    • Gnoupi says:

      And also:
      – Demi-vie
      – Forteresse d’équipe deux
      – Super garçon de viande
      – Engrenages de guerre
      – Le sorceleur
      – P3UR (yup, works in French too)
      – Marteau de guerre quarante-mille: L’aube de la guerre deux

    • Gnurf says:

      I tried to stay in the beat’em all category, but since you force me :
      – Les Nuits de Padhiver
      – Retombées
      – Le Monde de l’Art de la Guerre
      – La Cellule de l’Écharde
      – Le Dernier Fantasme Dix Deux
      – Les Guerres de L’Étoile : Chevaliers de la Vieille République
      – Fâchés oiseaux
      – FermeCity

      and of course : Pierre, Papier, Fusil à Pompes

    • Alexander Norris says:

      The best-worst part of this is that Padhiver is actually the official translation.

      e; also, that would make it Raging Streets, which isn’t right. :P

      Also also, it’s l’Ancienne République and that is, once again, the actual translation. And why would you translate “-ville” (a French word) to “-city” (not a French word)?

    • Gnurf says:

      Yeah, I know about Padhiver, I just… just tried to be funny about it but it feels wrong. Too soon since we were promised Baldur’s Gate 3, I’m sorry…
      About Raging Streets you’re right but I think it’s the best translation. A more litteral one would be “Rues de Rage” but -as said above- it doesn’t sound right.
      About Farmville, it’s just a stupid gag of interverting languages :p

      Same stuff for “Vieille République” and “Fâchés Oiseaux”, incorrect but sound funny (well at least for me…)

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      yhancik says:

      This is too tempting
      – Pilleur de Tombe (well Pilleuse de Tombe)
      – Grand Vol d’Auto
      – Tremblement
      – Les rouleaux des anciens III : Morrovent
      – L’art de la construction de mines
      – Chocbio
      – Voleur : Le projet sombre (followed by Voleur 2 ; l’Age Métal, Voleur : Ombres Mortelles et bien sûr Vol4ur)
      – Deus Ex (damn!)

    • Alexander Norris says:

      Thanks; I’m now imagining Grand Vol d’Auto being set in Brittany and involving mostly 2CVs.

    • Gnurf says:

      Okay, last one :
      – Engrenages de Métal Solide : Mangeur (Mangeuse ?) de Serpent
      – Lourde Pluie
      – Bol de Sang
      – Retour au Château Loupenstein
      – Aile X contre Combattant de Cravate

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      yhancik says:

      I would even say “Retour au Château de Pierreloup”
      (and “Duc de Nuquem Pour Toujours” but that’s too phonetic to explain)

    • Tatourmi says:

      My favorite one is:
      -Etage Tuant

      And here are some others:
      -L’armageddon des vers
      -Ligue des légendes
      -Portail deux.
      -Synapse gelée
      -Laissé pour mort.
      -Et pourtant elle bouge
      -T.V.I.C.A.M
      -En pleine vue.

      Also: Fâchés oiseaux would DEFINITELY be oiseaux en colère, or Oiseaux fâchés.

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      yhancik says:

      I love to mistranslate L4D to Gauche4Mort :p

    • Gnurf says:

      B-but it was just a jooooke *sobs*

    • Tatourmi says:

      DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?! DO YOU?!

    • Gnurf says:

      Well… oui.

      *honteux from shame*

    • Alexander Norris says:

      Retombées and TVICAM are the only ones I couldn’t figure out.

      But also:
      – Guerre Moderne 2
      – L’Appel du Devoir: Le Monde en Guerre (against le Figaro, maybe?)
      – Champ de Bataille: Mauvaise Companie 2
      – Le Bord
      – Le Bord du Mirroir (despite appearances, not related to the previous one)
      – L’groupe à Caillou
      – Effet de Messe
      – Vallée du Ventglace (“Valbise” doesn’t work as well)

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      JB says:

      Oh, I absolutely love “Super garçon de viande”!

      (The name in French, never played the game.)

    • adonf says:

      It looks like everyone who comments on this site is like French or something. So why are they holding the RPS gatherings in London ?

  5. Gnoupi says:

    And you managed to make a title close to “Les raisins de la colère” (The grapes of wrath), giving you bonus literature points!

  6. Saint_loup says:

    “whether or not clobbering well-dressed Franco-Belgian rogues is to your taste.”

    I’m all for it. Self-loathing, they call it.

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    stahlwerk says:

    Straßen der Wut!

    • Tei says:

      In suburban spanish that would be “Kalle del Kabreo” (the K as intended misspelling errors).

  8. tenseiga says:

    Hey you know what? the game sucks.

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    yhancik says:

    this comment doesn’t go here

  10. Dana says:

    Well according to TotalBiscuit, this game is pretty bad.

    • Axyl says:

      Yeah, I just saw his WTF is.. as well.

      The game really does look awful. Such a shame, cos I was hoping for a decent side scrolling brawler.
      Cleared SoR:R sooo many times, ditto all 3 SoRs I own on the Steam Sega Megadrive pack too..

      Ah well, I guess I’ll tear thru Shank again or something. Now THAT was a side scrolling brawler. <3

    • luckystriker says:

      The funny thing is, if you’ve played a decent beat em up sidescroller in your life, you could tell within 15 seconds that it was horrible.

    • Dominic White says:

      @Axyl – If you liked Shank, then if you’ve got access to a 360, check out The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai on XBLA, and its sequel. They’re the rough same kinda game, but about fifty times better in terms of core gameplay.

  11. Kirioth says:

    Actually doesn’t look too bad, seems like a laugh anyway: http://www.youtube.com/unitlosttube#p/u/0/-_fIJ_mNlhA

  12. Zeno says:

    It looks… awful. Just fucking terrible. Like, it would’ve been a mediocre game fifteen years ago.

  13. Teddy Leach says:

    Oooh, those terrible animations.

  14. Hatsworth says:

    Even though the only one I’ve played and liked to any great extent is Turtles in Time, I am looking forward to a brawler: Dragon’s Crown. Unfortunately it’s PS3\PSV exclusive. This however looks pretty bad.

  15. Fleurry says:

    Holy collision detection this is bad. Also, was there actually a button to perform a special attack? Or is just the one button all we get in the demo? I feel like I missed something basic here…

    • gwathdring says:

      Press and hold attack, and you’ll punch something, stand there for a bit and then charge up something that is most likely going to be interrupted unless you start charging when no one is near enough to feel the effects of the attack (except with the female character, because hers lasts longer so there’s a better change they’ll walk into it when you charge out of interruption range).

      Double tap forward (or backward) and quickly tap attack and you’ll do some sort of special … all of these are about as useful for the separate characters … scrawny guy gets more range on it, which is nice for taking out the women in pink.

      And yeah, collision detection was bloody awful. I wasted so much time jumping back and forth with those damn women in pink just trying to hit them and missing. Or missing stationary boxes somehow … bloody hell …

  16. gwathdring says:

    God that was awful. The skinny kid and the brute are about the same, for me. The girl was pretty nifty, as she could actually take out the women in pink without missing or getting knocked out of the sky ten times first. Also had the only charge-up attack I managed to use successfully.

    And why oh god why did they do the auto-grapple? I took so much damage just trying to attack specific enemies only to find my fingers magically glued to some bastards ascot.

    I will give them props for going all the way with the ‘Are you ready?’ prompt. I said no to see what would happen, and once the credits started rolling I couldn’t help but clap for them. :)

    Unfortunately that first, shortest, run through was the best and least frustrating. I should have said “No” the second time too. :\

  17. Butler says:

    Hah. I be an SEO by trade! Have to say, this was the last place I expected to see it being slandered, but it’s welcome nonetheless :p