Devolver Scrap Own Digi Distro For Sam 3

By John Walker on August 1st, 2011 at 3:14 pm.

This is the guy who wrote the press release.

Some astonishing controversy from Friday that escaped our gaze – Devolver Digital, they publishing Serious Sam 3: BFE, have announced that they’ve scrapped their planned proprietary digital distribution service, Krundle, and instead are opting to use Steam. And not Origin. The press release, containing their reasoning and what could have been (including features such as “Free-to-Play-for-Fifty-Bucks games wherein the consumer is free to play the game once it is purchased for $50″, and velvet-covered jet skis), is below.

Please, whatever you do, don’t look up “krundle”.

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61 Comments »

  1. fallingmagpie says:

    See also: ‘krundle sandwich’.

    • Orija says:

      Oh god, I actually looked it up!

    • Bedeage says:

      LMGTFY

      the fleshy area in between the anus and vaginal region covered in a dried up vaginal fluid in the form of sparkling crust.

    • LionsPhil says:

      You can look up any word on UrbanDictionary and get some kind of depraved sex act or similar.

      Most of the time with no supporting citations or any other evidence of that usage.

    • Hoaxfish says:

      it’s like some combination of the internet rules “there’s porn of that” and “there’s a wiki for that”

  2. hamster says:

    Wonder what sort of incentives they got.

    • Faceless says:

      Portuguese adult films?

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      Joshua says:

      Honestly, the Portugese Adult film partnership was probably one of their smarter moves for both sides… A pity.

    • ZIGS says:

      I’m Portuguese and trust me, our porn movies are pretty lousy. Or so I’ve heard >_>

    • Juan Carlo says:

      Portuguese adult films do suck………or so I’ve heard……..from myself………while jacking off to Portuguese adult films. >_>

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    Anthile says:

    “Please, whatever you do, don’t look up “krundle”.”

    Yikes.

  4. Chris D says:

    “Please, whatever you do, don’t look up “krundle”.”
    No! It’s the most devious trap of all!
    Musn’t… Look….
    Arrrgh! My Eyes!

    @Anthile Ok, so maybe you were faster than me, but you know what? That just means I was able to resist the lure for a minute longer than you, that’s all.

    • 12kill4 says:

      Any geek worth his +2 salt of krundle will, when presented with a button and an affixed sign saying “do not press this button or the universe will be destroyed. No really, don’t even think about it. Remove your finger from the button right now and go make yourself a sandwich.” will immediately push said button just to see what happens.

      You bastard.

    • Xocrates says:

      On the other hand, anyone who has hanged around the internet for a fair amount of time will know that when someone says “you really don’t want to know” they are usually right.

      Of course, that is something you can only learn the hard way.

    • magnus says:

      But it was the Krundle Landfill entry in the search engine results that got me, so that’s where it all ends up I suppose.

  5. Isheh says:

    i wasn’t even thinking to until you mentioned it, it was a trap. :(

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    sonofsanta says:

    Please, whatever you do, don’t look up “krundle”.

    But now I have to look! Oh man…

    In other news, if Devolver Digital and Valve ever got together to work on marketing, I fear I and my wallet would be helpless against the overwhelming urge to just give them all my money for whatever they had to offer.

  7. Moni says:

    Krundle sounds lovely, is it anything like Rhubarb Crumble, does it go nice with custard?

    *google image search*

    ARRRRRRRRRGH.

    That’s a no and yes then.

    • Kaira- says:

      I wonder if my google image search is broken. All I find with “krundle” is Serious Sam-related images. And Starbucks. Aaaand… well, urban dictionary made sure I don’t want to find images about “krundle”. And neither do you. Trust me.

    • Carwash says:

      I saw the urban dictionary definition first, and then thought “YES! Gonna google image search the shit outta that” … and then, images about serious sam and nothing else … disappointing.

    • wererogue says:

      Urban dictionary was my saviour also.

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    shoptroll says:

    Beautiful.

    *applauds*

    As soon as the pre-order goes live on Steam, they get my money.

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    c-Row says:

    I like how the line break in the image makes this read like “Free-to-Play-for-Fifty-Bucks games wherein the consumer is free to play the game once”.

  10. westyfield says:

    Argh, I made the mistake of looking up krundle last time Devolver Digital mentioned it (pixels per krundle!). Then promptly forgot what it was, looked it up again, and wept.

  11. fuzzyperson says:

    This lifted my spirits enormously after the shitcake blizzard threw in my face.

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    Schaulustiger says:

    Bam. Titjob.

  13. Vagrant says:

    ‘Free-to-Play-for-Fifty-Bucks games wherein the consumer is free to play the game once it is purchased for $50′

    That actually would be a nice feature! I wish games would implement this. Especially Ubisoft. And Blizzard.

  14. jets96 says:

    I am guessing this was not completely serious.

  15. Temple says:

    I do like them boys over there. Wait, that’s not right. The people who work over there.
    https://twitter.com/ForkParker
    Also worth trying for some brilliant game concepts…
    https://twitter.com/petermolydeux

    • Wooly Wugga Wugga says:

      “A survival horror game where you have to sing lullabies to your 2 year old to stop them from screaming/crying and giving your position away”

      This has already been done.

  16. Tretiak says:

    We are going to miss great films such as Colegiais com tesão IV.

  17. Teddy Leach says:

    Devolver is my favourite.

  18. Pathetic Phallacy says:

    Now this is a company that can give us action and comedy in one game. Sorry, Duke.

  19. Zogtee says:

    Another odd piece of news relating to the spat between Valve and EA is that Steam saw the release of new DLC for The Sims the other day and The Sims was *not* pulled from Steam, like Crysis 2 and Dragon Age 2 previously was.

    This would seem to wreck many of the theories about what’s going on between them.

    • fearghaill says:

      that depends on if the DLC was sold through Steam, or within the game bypassing Valve’s cut.

    • Joe Duck says:

      The “theories”.. they all come down to one, EA wants to take the users away from Steam and into Origin at no matter what risk. They want to get back the percentage that Valve is taking from them and have calculated that if the percentage of people that stops buying their game because it is not available on Steam is smaller than Valve’s cut, then they still earn money. And they set themselves up for even bigger profits in the next game and the one after that.
      The sad part is that this way of thinking justifies not competing on features or quality. They are not giving the customer any objective reason to buy in Origin instead of Steam, they just force us to do so.
      The story about the DLC and terms of contract is just a load of bull… I mean marketing.

    • Deano2099 says:

      The DLC is available on Steam as well as elsewhere though I think?

      That was what I thought at the time, and why Valve weren’t being as evil as everyone thought. You can sell your DLC wherever you want, you just have to offer it on Steam also. Which actually benefits the customer (by providing choice) except in the cases where some companies pick up the ball and take it home with them.

    • Zogtee says:

      The idea was that these EA games got pulled off Steam, because they received new DLC that was linked to Origin and Valve wouldn’t allow that. Other EA titles still remained on Steam, because they were ‘pre-Origin’. As soon as they recevied *new* DLC (linked to Origin), they would also be pulled.

      And yet, The Sims 3 ‘Town Life Stuff’ (cracking title, lads) is for sale right there on Steam, not through the game client, as well as on Gamersgate, etc. It was released like a week ago.

      I don’t get it, but I was hoping someone here did. How is this DLC different from that for DA2 and Crysis 2? Is it not linked to Origin?

    • Kaira- says:

      I’ve come to understand that DA2 and Crysis2 were pulled from Steam because their DLC wasn’t available via Steam. Not sure if that’s the truth, but I think it’s one of the two most plausible theories at the moment. Other being that EA is just dicks.

    • Vagrant says:

      “not through the game client”
      I think you found the kicker right there. Seems to be a matter of selling DLC while in-game needs to be handled by steam.

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      shoptroll says:

      My personal conspiracy theory is that it’s related to EA wanting to get their Play4Free games on Steam, but they don’t want to run everything through Steam Wallet which appears to be a requirement for Free to Play games.

      Depending on how you look at it, micro-transaction items from a cash shop is covered under the DLC banner by some companies.

      As such, EA is pulling some of their games from Steam but under the guise that “Valve did it” via a contract change. This is purely a political or bargaining move.

      Between Dirt 3 not getting pulled after their latest DLC pack hit GFWL a couple weeks ago and The Sims 3 staying on the store despite an external cash shop, there’s enough holes in EA’s story about it being purely over DLC in the traditional sense.

    • Juan Carlo says:

      No. Valve changed the policy because they see how the industry is changing and that Free to play and microtransactions are becoming the norm. So Valve had to change the policy because what is to prevent EA, for example, from releasing a super cheap shell game, forcing Valve to host it on their servers, then making the vast majority of the real game content available through their own stores? EA, for example, could release BF3, then a year later mark it down to 5 dollars and make the majority of profits off of selling DLC. In which case Valve would still have to host and distribute this 5 dollar game despite the fact that they see none of the profits for the DLC (which, at this point, might be the primary attraction to the game).If Valve has to pay for the bandwidth to distribute the base game it doesn’t make sense for them to do this if they don’t get a cut of the DLC for people who bought the base game on steam.

      This might not have been a problem before, but since Valve is going big into Free-to-Play it makes sense that they would change their DLC rules to prevent exploitation by companies and to ensure that they get a cut of microtransactions. If they didn’t do this companies could potentially use Steam as a backdoor free to play platform (using Valve for cheap advertising and bandwidth) by releasing what are essentially just cheap demos, then using in game stores to sell the real game content.

      I don’t think Valve has any other option and I actually think most other digital distributers will make similar DLC rules in the coming years as I don’t see how they couldn’t.

    • Juan Carlo says:

      As to Sims 3, I do think it’s interesting that the DLC for that is being sold on Steam. My guess is that EA might have decided to distribute DLC through steam way back when Sims 3 was originally released (and maybe signed a contract saying as much when they agreed to distribute the base game on Steam). In which case all new DLC would be released through steam as per prior agreement.

      But that’s just a guess. Obviously none of us really know.

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      shoptroll says:

      @Juan:
      I think the Sims 3 expansion are being done as DLC to keep thing tidy. There was probably a fair bit of confusion over Spore/Dragon Age and their expansions, and I can only imagine that’s part of the reason they’re doing it this way. By treating the expansions as DLC, you force the customers to own the Steam version of the base game before they buy the expansion. I don’t think there’s any expansions on Steam that work with non-Steam base games.

      That said, I’d be surprised if a $5 game with DLC would be a problem. Valve would still get a cut of the initial game sales so if the game goes viral they’d profit in the end. Wouldn’t be any different than say BlOps going on sale at the holidays for $5 if Activision wanted.
      If DA2 and Crysis 2 were grandfathered in, and removed once new content was added, then Sims 3, Dirt 3, and Section 8: Prejudice should’ve been yanked as well. Whatever the issue at hand is, it’s looking to be only between Valve and EA, with Steamworks and F2P as the likely candidates.

      Anyways, I doubt we’d see a situation where a company drops the price of a game from $60 to $5 overnight. Brick & mortar distribution channels wouldn’t let that happen.

    • FakeAssName says:

      *sigh* have you ever wondered “why can’t I buy the DLC for a game I got off of Steam, from someone else?”

      of course you haven’t, your all dutiful little steam addicts who wouldn’t dare betray your dealer .. err .. “provider” with sacrilegious thoughts like that!

      the problem is that Steam insists on having a custom version of all their titles that exclusively operates on their system, this includes DLC and mitigates that the game’s developer/publisher spend extra time and money on two parallel branches of PC development (in addition to the Xbox & PS3 branches, if the title is multiplatform).

      yes, EA is greedy and interested in stealing some of Steam’s thunder … they are also really sick of blowing extra resources so that Valve can sit in it’s own private playground while EA’s other DD partners suffer because their DLC codes are not universally applicable to all PC versions of the game.

      A big part of why people switch to being a Steam Exclusive release is because it’s too much of a bitch to support both the PC platform and the Steam Platform; that’s what Valve wants, that’s what Valve is intending. anyone who releases on the PC is given the option of releasing Only on the PC, Only on Steam, or Supporting Both: not everyone has got enough money for the third option, but Steam has cultivated a community that ostracizes anything that does not offer a Steam release; so not making that pick could spell doom for your title unless it’s something extremely noteworthy … to the point that people will look through the Stigma of it being a non-steam game.

      EA is probably one of the few publishers out there that can afford to stand up to Steam’s cult like monopoly on the PC market, and even then they are having to lay into them full cannon of every single major release for the next two years (Crysis 2, DA2, ME3, TOR, Alice 2, BF3). Activision is two steps behind them with their COD:Elite and battlenet titles and Ubisoft obviously does not want to hop in bed with Steam or they would have dropped their stupid ass proprietary DRM in favor of Steamworks … the fact that the three biggest dogs of PC publishers are all growling at Steam/Valve should tell you something is not quite as kosher with how Steam is structuring it business practices as it’s fan boys believe.

      I can’t say that any of those three publishers are remotely close to being on my “have pleasant things to say about …” list, but Steam’s attempted monopoly is fracturing the (already besieged by consoles) PC market and for that I support them breaking Steams strangle hold on the market.

  20. Coins says:

    I can get into this kind of marketing.

  21. kyrieee says:

    This is great, I love Croteam

  22. Icarus says:

    urbandictionary.com is so much safer than Google.

    All I have to say on the matter.

  23. taldira says:

    Ok, looking up “Krundle” was definitely a mistake.

  24. Burning Man says:

    If they keep this up, I may just buy the game, just to make sure their PR ‘worked’. This is the most entertaining marketing that I’ve ever been exposed to.

  25. Vague-rant says:

    Hah! I resisted the urge to google. The greatest power of Google-fu is knowing when to use it.

  26. Temple says:

    Wonder how many jobs JOHN WALKER is responsible for people losing today because of this one post and the search for krundle?

    JOHN WALKER is evil! And responsible for many hungry homeless children.

  27. McDan says:

    Brilliance! More press releases should be like this.

  28. hardband says:

    O.K. this made me LOL!

  29. Daniel Klein says:

    *looks up Krundle on google image search*

    *presses the “pink” button*

    COME ON, INTERNET, DO YOUR WORST!

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    Christian says:

    I will pre-order this game now purely on the fact that they are doing things like that. (also, because I do enjoy the franchise..but hey, who cares about details these days?).

    And this will be the only game I’ll pre-order except Deus Ex (same reasons minus the fun part), after it shows that BF3 might be a tricky one..

  31. Captain Hijinx says:

    Quite possibly the best press release ever.