Hey Kiddies! It’s Star Sweet And Honey Heart

By John Walker on August 9th, 2011 at 12:19 pm.

I think we should relaunch RPS as a pre-school website.

Steve Ince, writer for the Broken Sword series, is launching a new pre-school kids’ game on PC. Called Star Sweet and Honey Heart, it’s a super-cute bunny and kitten buddy based on Ince’s own cartoons. In fact, it’s so sickly sweet that I’ve vomited everywhere. Check out the video below so you can vomit too.

It’s certainly the case that there is a dearth of decent games for pre-schoolers. While children are pretty well taken care of by cutesy platformers, driving games, and so on, get younger and it’s mostly lazy claptrap with a familiar TV character on the box. So it’s good to see someone who knows how to make a game tackling the tricky age.

This does of course mean watching the video below is about as difficult as suffering through anything on CBeebies (apart from In The Night Garden, of course), because it’s aimed at drawing in the attentions of someone other than us.

How it will actually play isn’t clear yet. But if you’ve got young kids, there’s a decent chance this is one to keep an eye on. Oh, and if you want to do some colouring in, there’s pictures to print off here.

Bleaurrgghhhhh.

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52 Comments »

  1. Doesntmeananything says:

    Christ, that was my favourite shirt!

  2. Fwiffo says:

    Requires a ‘staring eyes’ tag. Have you seen it when they’re all in the room at the end of the trailer? Nightmarish.

    • stahlwerk says:

      oh my god, yes! I wanted to post the exact same thing. Cold, dead, unblinking eyes. “Staring Eyes”, stat!

    • Shadowcat says:

      I came to say the same thing. The staring eyes were FREAKING ME OUT.

      It wasn’t bad until Honey Heart started walking off screen, but remained staring directly at me the whole time. As soon as that happened, the eyes all took on a life of their own. And they would not stop staring!!! (except when using a cell phone apparently… but I think that was merely the calm before the storm of the horrific group finale).

      On that note, this would surely be a brilliant video to play to someone who was high.

    • noodlecake says:

      Yup. I was about to post the same thing but then 3 people had already beaten me to it. Sinister stuff!

    • LionsPhil says:

      I am decidedly unnerved.

      Although I love the cheesy ’90s tracker-esque theme music.

    • Wulf says:

      On the other hand, Steve Ince is a cleverer man than the lot of ya! The kids will love this. And to be honest I find this sort of thing mildly educational, as to how different people go about producing entertainment for the tiny ones. One of the best instances thereof was “Where is my cow?” by Terry Pratchett, which was an absolute joy to read to the family’s kids.

      It’s not supposed to appeal to people above that age, really, so examining it from that standpoint and judging it according to what we’d want to see is more than a bit silly.

  3. Askeladd says:

    I dont like the new artstyle of happy tree friends….

  4. Bhazor says:

    The wierd teen slang read phonetically by a fifty year old woman makes that video utterly hilarious.

    Relevant.

    • Wulf says:

      That’s actually surprisingly common in youngster shows. And goodness knows there have been enough of those on the telly in the background. But it’s a fairly standard thing, it’s almost like a mandatory inclusion for animated shows aimed at toddlers.

  5. Inigo says:

    Does this have death scenes in it too?

  6. Scatterbrainpaul says:

    Just by looking at the screenshot I knew it was going to be an article written by John Walker

  7. stahlwerk says:

    “Our first anniversary will be MEGA

    …did I really just hear that?

  8. Anthile says:

    That trailer was a bit lacking… fixed it: http://tubedubber.com/#qpcXM3CJJw0:V3g5bSm8c7k:0:100:0:0:true

    • stahlwerk says:

      The stuff of nightmares.

    • Inigo says:

      Strange – I appear to have lost the ability to stop screaming.

    • Shadowcat says:

      Oh… my.

    • LuNatic says:

      They look, but they never see. They stare, but they don’t perceive. Those soulless eyes are eating at my soul, make it stop, MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

    • Wulf says:

      I must be immune to this. Aside from the music it’s still fairly standard toddler fare. It’s like none of you have ever kept kids company to ensure they don’t try to eat the house as opposed to watching bizarre things on the telly. :p

  9. Teddy Leach says:

    AWWWWWWWWWWW.

  10. ReV_VAdAUL says:

    I am scared by these screenshots. Ever since playing that cutesy platformer that turned into a Cthullu-esque nightmare I have become wary of anything nice and cute looking.

  11. Ian says:

    In The Night Garden is rubbish.

    • Flibberdy says:

      In the Night Garden is abhorrent. It’s the only one of the shows my son watched which I couldn’t stand at all.

  12. Koozer says:

    Pff, kids these days. Back in my day we had Dexter’s Lab.

    • Durkonkell says:

      And REBOOT!

    • LionsPhil says:

      Bertha, lovely Bertha; you are a lovely machine…

      Although as introductory narration goes, it’s hard to trump Willie Rushton.

    • Wulf says:

      Uh… wrong age group, a bit?

      And if we’re doing that, then in my day we had Willy Fog, which was much better.

    • Koozer says:

      Okay then, how about Rosie & Jim, or the almighty Brum?

      *googles Willy Fog*
      Hey! I remember that, wondering why that cat thing’s head was trapezium shaped.

  13. tremulant says:

    Golly, this looks totally mega!

  14. magnus says:

    Looks a bit ‘Meh’ TBH, like Fallout 3 drawn with bright felt tips and crayons, lots of DLC and restrictive DRM I expect too and it’s consolified from the look of it too. The art design is total rip-off of Hello Kitten.

    • LionsPhil says:

      I don’t even see any reticulated splines—a rubbish console port that refuses optimize for PC’s DX15 features.

  15. Iokanaan says:

    now I want a Maple Town adventure RPG. also with lispy voice-over.

  16. LuNatic says:

    So, how long until this is turned into some sort of meme?

  17. LionsPhil says:

    C’mon now, skilled game developers willing to do something other than burly men shooting each-other from behind crates.

    The Internet wants a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic adventure game.

    • Teddy Leach says:

      ALWAYS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU…

    • Raiyan 1.0 says:

      I want a Rainbow Dash flight simulator.

    • Wulf says:

      I cannot help but completely concur with this comment.

      Steve Ince is perfect for this, though, and I’d always felt that this is the direction he’d be going in. He was always good at cute characters and such. Mr. Smoozles Goes Nutso (which is now free!) is an absolute joy. And if you haven’t played it then you’re only robbing yourself. This is just a branch of his style aimed towards a much, much younger audience.

    • magnus says:

      Ahh, you too? Let’s draw up a petition!

  18. ATwig says:

    OH GOD WHERE DO THEY ALL APPEAR FROM AT THE END!?!?!?

    But seriously this creeped me out way more than it should have…

  19. Inigo says:

    H̵̨̡̦̥̻̗̞̙̹̠̞̲ͥ́̒ͤͭĒ̸̛̮̤̦̟͕͍̯̪̣̰͉͛̿͂ͨ̀ͮͨͦ͐͗ͬ͘͞ ̢̓͑̔̈̆̒̋͏͏̳͖̲̖̣̖̳̰̤͙̜̫͉̠̦̘͔̝ͅC̨̘̤̫͉͓͙̝̙̣̰̪̪̜̳̺͎̝̤̲̿̽̈́ͨ̍ͩͩ̊ͭͪ̓͒Ơ͇̠̪̘͙̙̜̰̝͖̭̥̙ͣ̒̌͆͝M̵̩̹̬͍̘̣̝͈͕̱͕͉ͪ͋͗̑̏̆ͫ͒̔̿̃͒̈́͐͊̚͠͠͝Ę̷͈͇̬̩̯̥͓͉̙̩̉̍̆̋͘͠Ṡ̵͙͉̗̞̲̭͔̦̭͙̘ͧͮ̑͡

  20. noexes says:

    It’s certainly the case that there is a dearth of decent games for pre-schoolers. While children are pretty well taken care of by cutesy platformers, driving games, and so on, get younger and it’s mostly lazy claptrap with a familiar TV character on the box. So it’s good to see someone who knows how to make a game tackling the tricky age.

    Actually, I’m not sure that pre-schoolers should be playing games, the same way I don’t think they should be watching TV. They are somewhat sensitive to over-stimulation and really should be figuring out the world through their own senses before they let a TV or computer box fill it for them. I get that a lot of the stuff made with these kids in mind is designed to be less harmful, but I kinda feel like they’re playing with fire here. Let em enjoy this kind of thing when they get a little bit older instead.

    • Wulf says:

      Except that they absolutely love this stuff and it would be kind of hard to shield them from any instance of it.

    • Squishpoke says:

      I was subjected to a computer and some kiddie games at a young age. I turned out alright.

    • Inigo says:

      I was sat in front of a BBC Model B running Granny’s Garden.
      I am now a jobless alcoholic.

  21. nootron says:

    No thanks. I think I’ll wait for Star Sweet and Honey Heart: Black Ops

  22. Squishpoke says:

    Jump Start Kindergarten, anyone?

  23. noom says:

    Should definitely use this as the theme tune.

  24. Gabe McGrath says:

    Reminds me a little of the “Spot” cartoons. (As in, Spot the Dog).
    My little fella (age 2) loves em.

    I wish all the best to Steve Ince with this – as you’ve kind-of hinted John, the 2-4y.o. game market is ripe for the taking with something DECENT that parents will suggest to other parents.