FIFA 12 Foot-To-Ball Demo Impressions

By John Walker on September 13th, 2011 at 4:38 pm.

Yeah! Foot-to-ball! It's our favourite!

In one minute I’ll be announcing the announcement that the new demo of FIFA 12 will be being announced in a few minutes. That’s a new demo for FIFA 12 that I will tell you has been released just as soon as I’ve announced that I’m announcing its imminent announcement. There’s a FIFA 12 demo out! Wait, damn, that was too soon.

Gosh, I love foot-to-ball. I’m its number one fan. Every week you can see me by the rink side, hollering for my favourite team to get more points than the other one, and win the county cup. Which is why it’ll come as no surprise to anyone that I’m here to tell you all about the new demo for FIFA 12. (Some people may not be as familiar with the sport as I, and not know that FIFA stands for Foot-to-ball Is Flipping Awesome, but now you do.)

So I set myself up with a round of the game, in which I played OM (a transcendental meditative team), fighting against BVB (the good old Brian’s Vibrant Boys). We played two frames, during which I was able to experience the new Tactical Defending elements of the game. They’re pretty self explanatory, but I played through the tutorial anyway, where I was informed obvious things like,

“Holding RB calls a teammate to pressure the dribbler. If held while the player you are controlling is containing him, your teammate will Double the dribbler. Have your teammate contain the dribbler for 6 seconds to complete the drill.”

I guess there will be some people who don’t know about pressuring dribbles under double control, so I suppose such inclusions are necessary. I mean, it’s no worse than “Press Space to jump”!

I’ll tell you what – some feet touched some balls in those field events! There were tackles, a couple of headers, and at least one point was scored every half-round. It was thrilling, as the commentators let me know. The good thing about the commentary in FIFA 12′s demo is that it’s able to remind you of the events that happened about 30 seconds before they’re said, because otherwise such things are all too easy to forget.

Then this alien being came down and joined in on my side. It was amazing! He could do kicks up in the air, and did five dribbles! But then the players started turning into ghosts, so he was sent off.

I got in a bit of trouble when I plunged my arm through the back of one of my teammates and then ripped out his still beating heart. But a yellow card?! Come on, reverend!

I don’t like to boast, but I won that first round of footing, before losing the second in a penalty shoot-out, because I didn’t look up which button it was to move the goal defender.

And then it was time for tea.

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96 Comments »

  1. Anthile says:

    Never thought I would see my home team featured on RPS. Also, BVB stands for Ballsportverein Borussia. You didn’t ask for this but I’m telling you anyway.

  2. simonh says:

    I’ll have two Double Dribblers, thanks.

  3. hypercrisis says:

    No romance minigame, no sell sorry. Let Bioware make the next FIFA

    • Demon Beaver says:

      The demo simply doesn’t show what happens during half time. It’s so the demo will be rated PG.

    • weaselsoup says:

      & if they offered boyfriends & husbands as well as WAGs it would be at least classier & more enlightened than actual football today

  4. kalidanthepalidan says:

    I don’t get it… why don’t they just use their hands?

  5. Nick says:

    Ah, nothing like a good hearty kick-a-balls with the lads, sport of queens and all that.

  6. TheDark12 says:

    This not PC game?

    • Andy_Panthro says:

      It’s very non-PC, I hear it contains “tackle”, “balls”, “dribbling”, “shooting” and religious iconography (crosses).

      Still, I suppose all the controversy generated about these things will help it sell a few copies.

  7. mickygor says:

    I have to press R and B to call over a teammate? They’re not even close together :(

  8. Vexing Vision says:

    But how is the damage model, the only bit in this kicking business I am interested in?

    And the gore animation?

    • westyfield says:

      They should make the next FIFA game in the Overgrowth engine.

    • Koozer says:

      Well it looks like from the article you can forcefully remove internal organs – sounds good enough for me. I read on PC Gamer it’s too bloody to be legally shown in screenshots too.

  9. tossrStu says:

    Is there a first-person mode? I only choose to play visceral game experiences these days.

  10. Dodoman says:

    Spiffy demo – crashes unless I unplug my G13 and 360 controller.

  11. Seb says:

    I don’t get why this is not an FPS. Am I expected to buy this? This is not what I want.

  12. Lambchops says:

    I doubled a dribble once. Needless to say it all ended in tears.

  13. Ian says:

    Is the tea fully simulated, John?

  14. Ginger Yellow says:

    I’ve always said football games need more fatalities.

  15. sinister agent says:

    If I may…

    You are no longer singing. You are no longer singing.

  16. Drake Sigar says:

    They should take a page out of The Sims Medieval’s book and have a tutorial for the tutorial.

  17. Xercies says:

    Why does Rugby never get a look in in games, and I don’t mean American Football. I mean Rugby! And Blood Bowl I guess is the only one but I would like a maybe more realistic Rugby Simulator.

    • Megadyptes says:

      EA Sports used to make some rugby games but discontinued a few years ago. They also had a cricket game series which was also discontinued in 07.

    • DiamondDog says:

      Probably because rugby and cricket fans aren’t stupid enough to be duped into buying a new game every year.

      Personally, I can’t wait to see this years changes to the menu layout in PES. I’ve heard exciting things.

    • DrGonzo says:

      It’s actually because neither of those made very good games of the sports. I’m not a huge football fan, but football games are really good multiplayer computer games regardless of whether you like the sport I think.

      Would really like a good Cricket game though.

    • Xercies says:

      I would hope so that Jonah Lomu Rugy would feature ledgendary player Jonah Lomu otherwise it would be false advertising(I have no idea who he is)

      Ahah another game I wished onto the world!

    • ulix says:

      There’s also “Rugby World Cup 2011″, made by the same studio (HB Studios) that made the “EA Sports Rugby” games.

      Apparently its shit, though.

      And of course its only for PS3 and Xbox360.

  18. edwardoka says:

    Is this the same game as the free to play Unity game Berti Vogts Foot-to-ball FIFA Online Championship Edition?

    • Lambchops says:

      Did you say . . . shudder . . . Berti McVogts?

      I feel the need to cross myself.

    • edwardoka says:

      EA are so hip and down with what the cool kids want, I imagine that an iconic world-class kicker of balls at the peak of his career is just what they need to sell their foot-to-ball simulation, particularly in Scotland!

  19. Megadyptes says:

    I heard that EA Sports actually made this year’s PC game the same as this year’s PS3/360 games instead of using old or PS2 engines. Wowzers!

  20. aircool says:

    How many hands and fingers do I need to memorise the zillion combinations for kicking the ball?

    Also – Rugby, great game, really hard to simulate.

  21. Njordsk says:

    Best ending of a writing piece EVER.

  22. somini says:

    As a foot-to-ball semi-fan, I have to applaud your FIFA acronym.

  23. leeder krenon says:

    Did anyone see that ludicrous display from Arsenal tonight?

  24. ix says:

    I get that it’s probably a bad console port and EA keep churning these out year over year.

    But… just a couple weeks ago RPS ran a story on a flipping street cleaning simulator, and didn’t even completely take the piss out of it. Why so completely refuse to say anything sensible about sports games? Surely they’re both just as interesting to the average gamer.

    • DigitalSignalX says:

      Likely because absolutely no one who buys EA’s sports games are going to be ‘on the fence’ about this. It is what it is, same as last year, improved graphics, some new tricks, updated rosters. A street cleaning simulator though.. wow. Check this shit out.

    • Man Raised by Puffins says:

      Why so completely refuse to say anything sensible about sports games?

      I suspect it’s less a refusal and more that they literally have nothing sensible to say on the matter. Which either leaves a) robotic fact-listing b) stony-faced silence or c) amusing flippancy, and I’m rather glad the RPS hivemind seems to default to c).

    • Durkonkell says:

      I see your point, but this got several laughs out of me and I approve of it completely. Also, the comment thread has been quite amusing so far. Well done, John! (Come on, Reverend! heh)

      I’d actually prefer it if more things that the hivemind have no interest in and can’t really write about defaulted to C) as opposed to perhaps “I have no interest in this and fail to understand why anyone would ever play it but I suppose I’d better make a post anyway”. As a World-of-Warcraft’er, I’d be able to maybe read the news post for the next WoW expansion without grinding my teath…

    • Lambchops says:

      It’s news, it highlights the news, none of the Hivemind give a toss about football but at least they can offer a laugh and a few running gags in their not giving a toss.

      I guess if they thought something merited a proper review they could just bring Gareth from Los Campesinos! back in to do it again. Man those RPS guys are so rock and roll.

    • Furius says:

      It’s the same old joke everytime RPS report on football games. As a FIFA man I feel , perhaps not riled enough to complain, but at least enough to bother logging in and commenting on it.

    • Berzee says:

      See? Being a “FIFA man” just leads to riling. Ugly business.

    • Jason Moyer says:

      This isn’t last year’s game with a new number on it. This is the first time the PC has actually gotten the same FIFA game as the consoles in at least 5-6 years. I’m not a huge footie fan, but if the PC version isn’t overly buggy I’ll probably pick this up since we never get any good action-oriented sports games anymore.

    • ix says:

      @Durkonkell oh it was funny, that’s for sure.

  25. Daiv says:

    I can’t wait until they release next year’s iteration as an FPS.

    Dropping it in 3…2…

  26. Obc says:

    How is the Coversystem? what kind of different balls do i get? i hope the game isn’t too linear..

    anyway, i’ll be watching BVB vs. Arsenal tonight. i’ll be rootin for BVB.

  27. OJ287 says:

    Is this year’s iteration going to be a stripped down version of the one they’re getting on the consoles again?

  28. Icarus says:

    I, for one, am angry that these crappy console ports only let you have one ball at a time. You know who else only had one ball? That’s right, Hitler.

  29. Donkeyfumbler says:

    All very funny – no, really, I like hearing the same jokes again and again, somehow they never get old no matter how many times I hear them. “Manshooter”, “foot-to-ball” – see now I’ve done it and I’m rolling all over the floor, doubled up with laughter.

    Now thats done with, would anyone like to express a valid opinion about how this plays for those PC gamers who don’t sneer at games that happen belong to a genre they either don’t like,or somehow feel are beneath us, worthy only for the console scum.

    • DiamondDog says:

      Woah there old chap. I didn’t see any sneering. I think you need to get a doctor to reverse that sense of humour bypass.

      There are other sites that could probably give you the info you seek.

    • Big Murray says:

      It’s not anyone here who feels that the genre is beneath us as PC gamers. It’s EA who think it. That’s why they never bother to give us PC gamers a decent iteration of FIFA that plays well.

    • Koozer says:

      I laugh at jokes made about protons. That doesn’t mean I despise all subatomic particles.

    • Berzee says:

      @Koozer — …nano-racist.

    • Jason Moyer says:

      I wish RPS would get someone who actually likes sports or racing to write their articles about sports/racing games, because both of those genres suddenly turn the entire staff into idiots.

    • Donkeyfumbler says:

      @Big Murray. The thing is though, this time the PC version is supposed to be the same as the console one, with the same features and enhancements, unlike Fifa 11 which was the bastard son of console Fifa 10 and console Fifa 11.
      I play Fifa on the consoles because up to now it’s always been the better version. I prefer to play games on PC though (so the wife can watch TV), so I’m rather hoping this time EA have done things properly.

      I like RPS coverage usually. It’s easily the best PC-based site (or game-based site for that matter) on the internet, but for some reason the whole mocking “foot-to-ball” thing really gets on my tits.

    • John Walker says:

      It’s a link to a demo, Donkeyfumbler!

      You see how we normally link to demos in a couple of paragraphs, letting you know they’re there to play?

      I, out of some dangerous spite, decided to write some jokes to go with this link to a demo.

    • Lambchops says:

      In Donkeyfumbler’s defence (even if he was a tad cranky initially!) the actualy reviews of FIFA games tend to read a lot like this as well. Funny and honest about not trying to be informative but . . . err . . . not really particularly informative. I’m sure he’ll forgive you if you draft in a random football fan for the “Wot I Think.”

    • Kleppy says:

      Yeah I’m with you on this one. I understand that none of the RPS staff gives a damn about sports game, but the FIFA games at least are I’m sure popular enough to warrant a semi-serious look. It’s just a bit grating reading the same “we don’t know what dribbling is lol” jokes for the past 3 years. I’m positive more people care about a new FIFA game (which this year is supposed to actually be on par with the console versions) than the beta for A Valley Without Wind, for instance.

    • Lambchops says:

      Actually clicking the foot-to-ball tag I wish to take back my statement about reviews reading like previews. It seems the only pieces on football are either entirely satirical or enjoyably silly demo announcements like this; I should have known that the RPS guys are too sound in their journalistic practices to even attempt a review of a football game!

      Still, as I mentioned earlier, would be nice to see something of the ilk of the Gareth Campensino piece on Football Manager again.

    • Donkeyfumbler says:

      @John. Yes sorry. As Lambchops said, I was a bit overly cranky when I wrote my first comment. I blame my advanced age, three young children and a lack of sleep. I still think the point I was trying to make is valid though, and it’s nice to see that I’m not the only one who thinks this way. It would be nice if RPS either took football games seriously, like you do all the other genres, or ignored them alltogether.

    • Blackseraph says:

      Kleppy

      I am actually fairly sure readers ON this site are more interested in Valley of the Wind, than yet another FIFA game.

  30. Big Murray says:

    FIFA games on the PC have always suffered from laughable controls as a result of lazy porting. The fact that the game consistently sells on the PC despite this is … well, sad.

  31. golden_worm says:

    FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL,FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL,FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL,FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_uOgyBK1c

  32. stefdom3 says:

    It’s had lots of improvements and feels really fluid. Loving it so far.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7BxHNNRMEE&feature=feedu

  33. Lambchops says:

    Frivolity aside I might actually give this demo a shot.

    I haven’t played a FIFA game in a year or so now (and it was quite an old version anyway) be interesting to see how its looking now. It was always more of a multiplayer console based pursuit for me but if it’s good it might be worth picking up last years version on the cheap to arse around with when I’ve a spare minute.

  34. CharlO says:

    I don’t play FIFA since they dropped the punch button from. In 2000 you could stop in the middle of the field and have a hand-to-hand with the opponent. You could even blind the referee and get them injured.

  35. Matt7895 says:

    I like football, but every time I’ve played FIFA I’ve always tried my best to attack the other players. That’s just the kind of gamer I am, if I play multiplayer and I can’t hurt someone I usually end up griefing. I’d love to play a football game where you can push someone over or trip over the referee. I think you used to be able to do two-footed tackles but then you get stopped and sent off right away.

  36. StuffedCabbage says:

    Is a zombie DLC package on the books for this game?
    .
    FIFA Zombies…on the moon!

  37. free keno says:

    FIFA 12 is far better than PES. The new technical engine is making a huge difference.

  38. Ondrej says:

    Hey RPS, nice tweetin’ that got me here.

  39. Dawngreeter says:

    Is the cultural victory still in, or do you have to do a world conquest?

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