Cards Of Not-Card: The Hearts Of Iron CCG

By Alec Meer on October 3rd, 2011 at 4:12 pm.

World of tank cards

World War II-themed grand strategy game as digital collectible card game? It’s both a deeply weird idea and rather an ingenious one, seeing as it encourages thinking extremely tactically about the all-too-slim military resources you have in a bitter battle against an enemy general. I suspect I’d be rubbish at it, as my only considered tactic would be “play the tank card! And again! And again! The tank card! Again!” Fortunately, Paradox have put out some tutorial videos, so you can hear from far wiser minds than mine.

The free-to-play (funded by booster pack transactions, of course), browser-based game is now open to any and all players, but unfortunately the site seems to be having a bit of a wobble at the moment, so you may need to remember what patience is. What is patience? It’s a virtue. It’s also FOR THE WEAK. F5, F5, F5, F5, F5, F5, F5, F5, F5, F5, F5, F5, F5, F5…

Update: site now working fine, I’m told.


There’s much more in the way of rules and guides over on the HOICCG site, when it’s working. You’ll obviously need to spend real-Earth money to expand your deck, but on sign-up you get this much:

3 starter deck, one for each faction
3 booster packs with 15 cards each
10 tickets for participating in tournaments with

And if you join before Oct 17, you get three bonus cards: Zavod No. 38, Panzer Repair Shop and Plentiful Ammunition.

I like my ammunition like I like my women: plentiful.

(I am 99% sure my girlfriend will never read that gag. And 1% absolutely terrified.)

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20 Comments »

  1. Jajusha says:

    I did try the beta, but even with help from the guide, i could not understand 80% of what was going on

  2. HexagonalBolts says:

    World War 2 as a card game…? ‘Racism-driven genocide, I choose you!’

    • somini says:

      Playing the Nazi-card on the second turn is OP. Godwin’s Law is no fun IRL, please nerf.

    • OrangyTang says:

      Clearly this game needs and actual race card for people to play.

  3. Chris D says:

    It seems like an odd combination to me. I would have thought that if you want a WW2 game with black and white art you’re probably looking for realism and authentic tactics. If you want a CCG you’re probably more after a more abstract game that you can customise to your heart’s content, and pretty pictures probably don’t hurt either.

    This seems a bit like putting together sausages and chocolate cake to me. On the other hand Americans consider bacon and maple syrup an acceptable combination so what the hell do I know. Maybe there’s a huge audience for this thing.

    • Koozer says:

      Bacon and syrup? That’s…what.

    • sneetch says:

      @Chris D says:
      This seems a bit like putting together sausages and chocolate cake to me. On the other hand Americans consider bacon and maple syrup an acceptable combination so what the hell do I know.

      Bacon and maple syrup is delicious! It’s not just Americans who know this fact: all over Ireland you can order breakfasts that have some combination of bacon and maple syrup in them (pancakes/french toast, bacon, sausages and maple syrup mmmmm).

    • Chris D says:

      @Sneetch

      One man’s tasty snack is another man’s offence against nature. That’s all I’m saying.

    • Premium User Badge

      Martel says:

      I find it odd that anyone would consider anything paired with bacon an offense against nature. Or not plain tasty

  4. Yargh says:

    “(I am 99% sure my girlfriend will never read that gag. And 1% absolutely terrified.)”

    You’re doomed

  5. Premium User Badge

    Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

    What a coincidence. I like my women with a discarding sabot.

    • Premium User Badge

      Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

      I like my women stamped with batch and serial numbers.

    • westyfield says:

      I like my women to weigh several tonnes and have inches-thick armour plating.

    • Hematite says:

      I like my women with “For Adolf” engraved on them?

    • Fumarole says:

      I like my women to have big guns.

  6. Dana says:

    I have a WW2 themed TCG lying around somewhere…dont remember the name though.

  7. Jake says:

    Patience is a virtue for the weak – sounds like something a Space Marine would say.

  8. Jason Lefkowitz says:

    In classic Paradox style, this is a game with tons of interesting aspects that is also completely and bafflingly impenetrable. Once you understand how everything works it’s actually quite fun, but getting to the point where you understand how everything works is a bit of an uphill battle — the game doesn’t do much to point you in the right direction, and even the manual (who reads manuals anymore?) is pretty thin.

    (I was fortunate enough to eventually stumble across an opponent on my second game who kindly explained the basics to me. If that hadn’t happened, I probably would have just given up and written the game off.)

  9. Jason Lefkowitz says:

    Oh, and the idea of a CCG wargame isn’t as bizarre as it sounds. I have fond memories of Columbia Games’ Dixie, for instance, which my friends and I played the hell out of back in the mid-90s. It combined collectible cards and a few simple rules to make a really absorbing (and surprisingly detailed) tactical wargame that was accessible to a broad audience — something wargames have never been good at.

  10. Warskull says:

    Seems way too dependent on the luck of the draw, whoever gets out a few good units out first ends up winning because the other player is playing catch-up all game.

    Plus their F2P scheme doesn’t seem like it will work if they can only muster 10 players online at once.