It Just Means ‘Horizon': New Skyrim Pics

By John Walker on October 20th, 2011 at 1:10 pm.

Do you know where I can find the bathroom?

You’ll have seen some of these before in our recent Skyrim articles, but only all small and not in such a way that you could print them out and put them on a t-shirt. So here are the ten most recent Skyrim shots, which, like a penis, will get bigger if you click on them.

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74 Comments »

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  1. Nemrod says:

    “which, like a penis, will get bigger if you click on them.”

    Where’s the disclaimer!!!???

    Now I’ll be haunted for life >_<

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      Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

      Disclaimer: Not all penises get bigger if you click on them.

    • Inigo says:

      Weirdest honeymoon ever.

    • Nemrod says:

      “Disclaimer: Not all penises get bigger if you click on them.”

      you’re talking about the Elder’s Ones right?

    • sPOONz says:

      And thats ‘clicking’, not flicking.

      Ouch.

    • oxymelum says:

      The Elder Balls?

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      Keymonk says:

      What, you needed a spoiler warning?

    • Dawngreeter says:

      Speaking as a recently married man myself, I can confirm that this sort of useful knowledge accompanies the whole proceedings.

      It’s not even the weirdest tidbit of knowledge, either. For example, I also learned that proper form for finding stuff out is no longer typing it into Google but, rather, asking your spouse.

    • Drake Sigar says:

      Will you all stop dicking around?

    • Milky1985 says:

      If it goes click i think its time to see a doctor, heard Dr. John Thomas is good at this sort of thing.

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    gorgonaut says:

    For a second, I thought the person in the third picture was trying to slit the throat of a skeleton, the fool.

    Alas, my near-sightedness betrayed me.

    • ThinkAndGrowWitcher says:

      Whatever it is, that kind of action is bound to hit a nerve.

      And spare a thought for that bear’s need for extreme dentistry.

    • Ultra Superior says:

      1) Breaking Bad season 5 preview.
      2) Gypsy family vendetta
      3) Prey’s spirit bow easter egg
      4) Disco dancing with too much ecstasy
      5) Ice statue carving minigame
      6) Gypsy lever operator
      7) Camouflage fail
      8) Fog of war in first person
      9) Arts and crafts competition runner-up
      10) Rabbit fence

    • Davie says:

      Ultra Superior: I’m laughing, good job.

    • DigitalSignalX says:

      That throat slit pic reminds me very strongly of the first 30 minutes of Two Worlds II.

  3. godgoo says:

    Ok, this is reeeeeaally weird.

    I was just browsing reddit in an article about reasons to stop playing an RPG (one of those dumb comedy pie charts). A user called ‘Randometymology’ or something similar had made a list of the literal meanings of a bunch or RPG titles. So the last thing I read before I skip across to here and see this as the latrst story’s headline was the meaning of ‘Oblivion’. That’s. Odd.

  4. Whiskey Jak says:

    Any words on the official PC requirements? I find it weird that we haven’t got official word on it so close to release. For Rage Bethesda had the info released about a month prior to launch (not that it helped much…).

    I know that I can find fairly accurate “expected requirements” but official announcement would be nice.

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      Thermal Ions says:

      It makes me wonder if that means it currently ‘runs like a dog’ and they are madly attempting to optimise it in order to be able to release minimum specs that aren’t going to meet with the ire of their prospective / existing pre-order customers.

      /removes tinfoil hat

  5. simonh says:

    I wonder what kind of Extreme Alchemy that is that it causes motion blur?

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      gorgonaut says:

      Perhaps he’s making meth.
      You know, sampling the goods tends to blur the edges a bit, they say.

    • Quine says:

      I’m totally going to play a grumpy ex chemistry teacher in a marvellous hat now. Here’s hoping there’s more than beer to be encrafted.

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      gorgonaut says:

      Not to glorify drug dealers, or anything- but it would be interesting to be able to craft and sell, uh, regulated substances in the game. Having to run away from guards busting down the door of your “alchemy” lab, risking that a customer is a sting operation..

    • Dath says:

      I am extremely confident that there’ll eventually be a mod adding drug-dealing.

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      gorgonaut says:

      And that is exactly why I love PC-gaming, I hope someone mods in those little golf cars.

    • Rhin says:

      Skooma does look like it could be a product of alchemy

  6. CaLe says:

    Skeletons are boring, but the presence of dragons more than makes up for that.

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      gorgonaut says:

      I don’t know- they are pretty generic, but there’s a weird part of me that really digs the old-school-ness of animated skeletons. It would be interesting if not all skeletons were hostile, though. -Or would that be silly?

    • tungstenHead says:

      You might think skeletons are boring. Well, let me change your mind on that.

      FACT: Dinosaurs are exciting.

      FACT: There are no zombie dinosaurs. They are all skeletons.

      CONCLUSION: Skeletons are exciting.

    • Casimir's Blake says:

      Gorgonaut: One thing I’ve missed in games since 1992 (!) is Ultima Underworld’s simple but effective mood system for entities. Examine an enemy and normally they’re hostile, an NPC will probably be friendly, but there were places throughout both games where you might find mellow monsters. Something as simple as this helped to impart a sense of realism to the game world. Never once seen a friendly skeleton in a TES game, for example, outside of quest-specific NPCs. Shame.

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      gorgonaut says:

      Interesting! I was busy running away from a war in 1992, so I’ve never played Ultima Underworld, but it does seem like an ingenious thing to implement. Sometimes, good concepts get lost in time, and really deserve to be maintained, where appropriate.

    • BenLeng says:

      @gorgonaut
      “I was busy running away from a war in 1992″
      That must be, hands down, the best excuse for not playing Ultima Underworld I ever heard.

    • Wizardry says:

      @gorgonaut: Ultima Underworld was definitely not the first game to do this. Plenty of older RPGs had non-hostile creatures dotted around the game that could even temporarily join your party to help you out in fights.

      In fact, even Daggerfall had character skills that would make creatures non-hostile. This was lost over time due to the watering down of the series.

    • ankh says:

      gorgonaut: Please don’t tell me you ran away from SA in ’92. Cause that would make your excuse quite crappy to say the least.

    • Dozer says:

      I was 6 years old in 1992 and wasn’t running anywhere, or paying a great deal of attention to the news, but wasn’t there a lot of excitement in the Bosnia/Yugoslavia region at that time?

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      gorgonaut says:

      @BenLeng: Thank you. It sort of had to be done.
      @ankh: I’m not quite sure what SA is, but as Dozer suggested it was, in fact, the whole Balkan Civil War-thing I was a bit preoccupied with. I did get to play with a Commodore 64 along the way, though!

      Edit: Dumb, early morning spelling hoo-haas.

  7. food says:

    Rave lich spotted!

    Are they not doing pre-order bonuses for Steam at all? Nothing has come up yet on the store page. I try to avoid Bethesda ads/hype so I can enjoy a nice hiking/homicide simulator without being too terribly disappointed.

    • Salt says:

      I think you get a charming TF2 hat, like the spiky one worn by the chap on Skyrim’s cover art.

      I’ve gone for preordering a physical copy for the sake of getting a map. In my heart I know it’ll be dull like that for Oblivion, rather than hand drawn with hints at interesting places like Morrowind’s. But I can dream.

      Thanks to an offer in the bargain bucket a few months ago I got it pretty cheap too.

    • Snargelfargen says:

      I for one, am relieved that I don’t have to buy the game in a certain way. Much less stress when steam doesn’t make me try and puzzle out whether I will need an extra gun or not.

    • TillEulenspiegel says:

      Hey, that’d be neat. If they don’t do any of that nonsense, it might tip me over the edge into actually buying it early rather than waiting for the GOTY.

  8. Jim Rossignol says:

    Hmm. That *does* look good. I can’t help gazing wistfully at misty vistas.

    • perfectheat says:

      They look like how I remembered the first images from the Conan MMO.

      Alt-text on the first picture made me giggle.

  9. Kaldor says:

    It also means end-of-horizon(world) and very-high. So Skyrim is actually a very economical term.

    • The Colonel says:

      It’s actually a derivation of the old norse “Skrymir” meaning “enjoy to compete the dream-pictures in generic story-midgard”. Nothing to do with sky or edges.

    • caddyB says:

      It’s good that it has nothing to do with Edge, you know what happens to people who make games with an Edge to them.

    • Kaldor says:

      Sure, but even if it’s a derivation, it now has a different meaning. Also give me one of your “edgy” masterpieces, please. I would say RPGs are by definition “un-edgy”, unless you’re a fan of some obscure, highly abstract Siberian indie project which is in development for 15 years, and it’s better to have a good “generic” fantasy game than a pop fantasy game. Since there haven’t been any of the former in quite a while, it is actually something entirely unique. Also a well-designed game with potentially lots of hand-designed content is better than a strange-looking one which is essentially empty, or has at best only generic copy&paste content, which lets me feel like a real tough guy because it is so dreary and “edgy”.
      It’s also not a great feat to recognize that this is primarily an “entertaining” game rather than one with a great concept or great writing. I bet the majority of people ceaselessly repeating this, like they’ve come across a great secret, aren’t even familiar with such things outside of games.

  10. asshibbitty says:

    That megalith thing bugs me. Mixing curly tribal motives with astronomy textbook themes is an obvious no-no.

  11. UnravThreads says:

    I’m just worried this is going to be an Oblivion. You look at the official screenies of it and think “Holy shit, that looks amazing!” and then when you play it, it looks like someone ate some Crayola crayons and then threw up in a bowl.

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      Kong says:

      at some point I asked myself, why do I keep on riding a horse with metallic shining fur? Quit game deinstall was easy. Strange moral system plus cheesy graphics was too much. Walt Disney Fantasy Bethesda.

  12. adonf says:

    Is there a way to make the picture fit into the Web client’s window size in the new image embiggening plug-in? With the current version I have to maximise my Firefox window to view the whole pictures, and there’s no way to scroll(tm) the pictures either. Some of us don’t like maximised windows, especially when reading RPS where the text area is only 600 pixel wide (which is okay, and definitely more readable than very long lines of text). Thank you kindly…

    edit: Oh and also we need ways to navigate between picture without opening and closing each one, or it’s just easier to open all pictures in new tabs (which also solves the size problem in most Web programs)

    just one last edit: Control-click doesn’t open in new tab, still with Firefox. I’m starting to dislike this picture extension…

    • TillEulenspiegel says:

      Right click, open image in new tab. Think that’s the best you can do.

    • adonf says:

      Oh I know, though I prefer control-click.

      Anyways, I can live with it. I was just giving my opinion as a user of this site in case someone hears me.

    • Quirk says:

      Middle-click works to open in new tab.

  13. Sentient Waffle says:

    That last line really shouldn’t have made me laugh as much as it did..

  14. Premium User Badge

    jezcentral says:

    A question from an Elder Scrolls noob:

    As someone who enjoyed both Dragon Age games for the NPC interactions, but always played on Easy, as I don’t care for the combat, would I enjoy Skyrim?

    • adonf says:

      You could set the combat difficulty level in Morrowind. I don’t know about Oblivion.

    • Imbecile says:

      Yeah, you should give it a go, though the character interactions are not a big strength of the TES series. TES games are generally relatively easy as RPGs go, mostly because they are so freeform (as you are able to level up at your own pace and run away when things get tough).

    • UnravThreads says:

      You don’t have to wait half an hour between attacks with Skyrim. Combat is as quick or as short as you make it, it depends on your playstyle. The difference in combat between DA/DA2 and Skyrim is… hmm.. probably along the lines of the original Fallout games to the two latest ones. It’s that different.

      I don’t think the NPC interactions will be as good, because Bethesda games tend to be much more one sided in that NPCs talk at you rather than you talking to them.

  15. Urthman says:

    [double-post removed]

  16. Urthman says:

    So is that glowy bow as obnoxious in first person view as it looks like it would be? I’m imagining sneaking through a dark dungeon, unable to see anything but the FX from the bow shining swirling around in my face.

    (The answer, of course, is it doesn’t matter. The light levels are tweaked so that you can see everything in a “dark” dungeon playing in a brightly-lit living room. You’ll have to wait for mods if you want dark dungeons.)

  17. reticulate says:

    The following may or may not make sense:

    I get from the screenshots and videos that Bethesda have learned something, and that is to stylise the graphics a bit. Going for proper realism only makes the bits that aren’t particularly realistic look false in comparison, so you’re actually better off putting a bit of, not cartoon, but saturated edge on things to keep it all consistent.

    We’re still in the age of baked lighting and pixel shaders. We’re not really at the stage where we can put stuff up on screen that makes us look outside twice. That’s what I’m getting at, anyway.

    • Adekan says:

      If you recall, there is currently no PC version preview/review code available. So I’m thinking these screenshots are from the 360.

  18. thatcity says:

    the graphics is from an xbox 360 i hope..we need more resolution!don’t like a lot the screens..
    maybe notch have come to an agreement with bethesda and made the engine for them?

  19. rayne117 says:

    http://i.imgur.com/Y6x39.jpg

    Didn’t Oblivion look great guys?

    Oh…

    oh

  20. pupsikaso says:

    Are these the consoletoy shots? They are pretty, but graphically they look terrible.

  21. ccmccmcc says:

    http://www.cc2biz.com is a good store for you.Come on