Saints Row: The Third Features Farts

By John Walker on November 3rd, 2011 at 12:00 pm.

These are not farts.
The latest trailer for Saints Row: The Third once again impresses upon us quite how outlandish the game is aiming to be. A game I’ve been playing all this week, and will bring you some thoughts on in an hour. But in the meantime, take a look at the barrage of nonsense that’s being crammed in there. Including, oddly, one scene that breaks the rules for what Volition don’t want revealed about the game ahead of launch. Go figure.

Apologies for the awkward cropping – Gamespot’s embed code doesn’t take kindly to be resized to fit our site.

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58 Comments »

  1. mjig says:

    This month is killing me. I think I’m going to have to wait until next month for Skyrim since I bought AC and SR3.

  2. gausswerks says:

    As I appear to be in a griping mood today, my beef with Saints Row 3 is the entirely underhanded method in which their Initiation Station has now become a permanent part of my Steam games list, whether I care for it to remain there or not.

    You could only play with what is clearly just a demo/incentive for the full game by redeeming a code from Gamespot. Foolish me thinking that like other demos I would have the chance to uninstall it, so fair warning.

    The game looks great and all but I’m more than a little miffed at Steam support ignoring the support ticket I put in on the matter. I’ve got enough iffy games on Steam already without making demos a permanent part of it.

    • Symitri says:

      I managed to uninstall it fine and it no longer appears on my list, so this may be a problem local only to you or a few others. Much like how the TF2 beta still haunts my games list despite owning the full game since before it went F2P.

      That said, I regret uninstalling it as I now wish to get back to making ludicrous characters. Apparently five hours of my life character creating wasn’t enough.

      This trailer blew the GTA one out of the water for me personally – panning shots showing over pretty scenes is all very well but it lacked the creative violence that I seek from these sandboxes.

    • Was Neurotic says:

      Yah, I’m still stuck with the TF2 beta. Funny that. I’m surprised they don’t have a ‘Still Got TF2 Beta On Games List’ hat for it.

    • nofing says:

      @Symitri I’m pretty sure the TF2 beta is only available to people who own the “Premium” version. It’s not the pre-release beta (it was added to Steam in December 2010, more than 3 years after the initial release), but a beta for testing new updates, before they are added for everyone.

    • DickSocrates says:

      I have TF2 Beta listed and all I ever bought was the Orange Box. I don’t think it refers to the beta that came out before TF2 got officially released, but the ongoing beta where they test weird new weapons that eventually go into official updates.

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      Keymonk says:

      @DickSocrates
      That is it indeed.

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      Hodge says:

      I didn’t realise that it was even possible to remove stuff from your Steam list. What am I missing?

    • Shooop says:

      This always happens for non-Steam mods too actually.

      The files do uninstall, but you have to manually delete the folder that’s in your Steam directory to make it vanish from Steam.

    • Teovald says:

      I also have TF2 beta, it is definitely from the orange box.
      I have a workaround to make the games I do not want to see disappear from my list : i add the one i actually want to see to my favorites and only display those. It is a silly workaround but it does the job.

  3. kwyjibo says:

    The GTA V trailer. The American dream and American decline in 90 seconds flat. Makes it look effortless.

    This? It’s so ridiculous that your actions no longer have context or meaning.

    • mjig says:

      GTA5 trailer: Try hard bullshit that made me fall asleep before it was finished.

      This? Made me realize that some people are still interested in making fun games where we get to completely defy reality rather than making interactive dramas in order the prove that games are “art”.

    • Prime says:

      And thank zombie christ for that! Honestly, GTA’s po-faced obsession with the thrice-cursed ‘American Dream’ stopped being relevant or interesting about a decade ago. When it got too solemn for it’s own good – GTA IV – it also stopped being fun. That trailer for GTA V looked incredibly boring; more of the same, but in the sunshine – wooo.

      Saint’s Row 3, meanwhile, looks like the shot of heroin to the penis we’ve all been missing.

    • Cinnamon says:

      Let’s face it, despite many of not being from America, we have been so beaten over the head with the American dream and the American reality that it could be successfully evoked in under 5 seconds.

    • kwyjibo says:

      No context or meaning.

      It’s like the Postal games, but you’re all probably into that.

    • Baboonanza says:

      “No context or meaning.”

      Who gives a fuck? I just want to have a good time grandad!

    • nofing says:

      While I don’t always need context or meaning in games, this doesn’t really appeal to me. Maybe I’m just too old for this kind of “humor”. That said, it certainly looks 100 times better than GTA Vfive, which is a shame, because the only thing Rockstar had to do, was to change the setting into sth more different (like with Red Dead Redemption).

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      PoulWrist says:

      The context becomes its own meaning and the meaning becomes the context.

      Isn’t that one of those art things?

      There’s always a context. That you can’t see that just makes the point that there’s GTA5 for those who crave it and SR3 for those who just don’t give a fuck what context their meaning is in.

    • DickSocrates says:

      There is context and meaning. You are a gang in a town and you have to blow stuff up and kill people in order to become top dog.

      You seem to be looking for the great American novel in a video game about running around firing rockets and stealing futuristic hover bikes. Luckily for you, that weird (and beaten to death) hybrid of hyper violent game show and pompous morality which has NO bearing on the gameplay or missions also exists.

      Surely Niko Belic getting a headache from all his dour lamenting about all the people he killed in Serbia before running over 100 people in a car he murdered the owner for is more bizarre than Saints Row. And you can’t even say ‘well what I do in sandbox mode doesn’t *really* happen’ because the actual story missions tell you to do the same bloody things! The game and what you can do mesh more closely in Saints Row.

      I like GTA’s cities and attention to detail. The characters are just about passable, the plots are idiotic and the missions are practicaly broken. I like Saint Row’s attitude that a virtual city should allow you to do many, many different things. Not just the narrow hooligan with a gun route.

    • MadMatty says:

      I know in which context i like my moaning :P

  4. Zepp says:

    SHHH! Don’t wake the bitches!

  5. Cinnamon says:

    Farts should already be a mandatory part of games since they became the only sane way to explain the success of the Fable games. On the whole I think the trend of games with jet powered dragons and romanceable skeleton princesses is more interesting.

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    Driveshaft says:

    Although I don’t consider myself ‘above’ this sort of humour in any way, this game definitely seems to be aimed at schoolboys. I’m not saying the rest of you shouldn’t enjoy it – but it does seem odd that something rated for a mature audience should be anything but.

    I love the crazy plotlessness of the game, but gimps and dildo bats? I’m only a young man myself, but I can’t remember when I last found that sort of thing funny. I’m not too crazy about the portrayal of women either.

    I wish I was the kind of guy who could overlook such things and just enjoy the damn game, but I’m not.

    Don’t wake the bitches? I shall be calling their mothers and fathers!

    • DigitalSignalX says:

      This was my read too for a while, but there was a trailer a while back that actually eluded to game mechanic known as a “plot” and had some non puerile moments in it. My suspicion is that the marketing department is showing you the far side of what you can do/expect but most people will craft their own adventure much more to the center of things.

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Saints Row 2 had it’s moments of actual plot, and some of them were even fairly well done.

    • MSJ says:

      More open world games should focus their marketing on the possibilities available to you in the game than any plot it has.

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      Keymonk says:

      Yeah, I’m really fond of the -possibility- to do this sort of thing. I absolutely loved SR2′s story too, and I usually don’t like ‘badguy’ stories, as it were. So I think it’s rather well done, plotwise and whatnot. Can’t say whether Third is yet, but I do so hope so.

  7. Belsameth says:

    “Put in your tampons and lets do this!”
    wtf?

    When it was announced I already knew this would be a day 1 buy.
    Every trailer I saw so far only affirms this decision. Roll on Nov 15. I really *can’t* wait!

  8. kikito says:

    Also features shitting-in-their-pants-because-gta-is-coming.

    • Faceless says:

      This game is coming out in three weeks, and it’ll no doubt enjoy good sales for the next months to come until GTA V sees the light of day. That’s not even touching on the fact on how vastly different the games are.

      I’m always amused how GTA fans are the ones angrily shitting their discontent out in comments sections below Saint’s Row news articles, but there’s a far smaller number of rabid SR fans who unjustifiably diss GTA.

    • johnpeat says:

      They’ve no worries from my quarter – I loved SR2 because it remembers why GTA used to be good, crazy inane fun.

      GTA since SA has been a chav/ghetto/scum simulator and I care not 1 jot for it.

    • Magnetude says:

      I watched the GTA V trailer 10 times in a row last night such is my anticipation, but I bear no ill will towards this fine series, though I couldn’t see the appeal of SR2 when I picked it up in a bargain bin. I suspect I’ll be picking this up on a Steam sale in the not-too-distant future though, especially if the PC version of GTA sticks to tradition and is horribly delayed and/or a buggy mess.

  9. Burning Man says:

    Now THAT was a good trailer.

    DISCLAIMER: I am neither a GTA nor an SR fanboy, having been unable to play either due to their horrible insistence on semi-realistic car physics and innumerable ‘must-be-in-car’ missions. And lack of Halo-style driving controls.

    • johnpeat says:

      Why would you want the shittest driving controls ever placed inside a game?

      Also – you clearly don’t like driving and GTA games have always been about driving (arguably they became shit when you got out of the car).

    • JackShandy says:

      Please, johnpeat. In a world were Big Rigs: Over the road racing exists, your insults are meaningless.

  10. westyfield says:

    “Including, oddly, one scene that breaks the rules for what Volition don’t want revealed about the game ahead of launch.”

    So what is it? I’ve no idea what Volition want us to know and what they don’t.

  11. Moni says:

    Hahaha, the Red Faction level!

  12. db1331 says:

    They had me at dildo bats.

    • chabuhi says:

      They had me at “SR”

      But, full disclosure, GTAV had me at GTA, LEGO Harry Potter had me at Lego, and Skyrim had me at the sound of the narrator inhaling.

      I want to punch November in the nuts.

    • Highstorm says:

      They had me at the A-10. Oh that thing better be flyable and not just a called-in airstrike…

  13. asshibbitty says:

    Imagine how mad they are about only being able to have partial nudity in the game.

  14. AchronTimeless says:

    So, I can’t be alone in this… but has anyone else been doing price checking to make one of those bats to have leaning in the corner of their livingroom?

    edit: Oh no… I can only imagine they’ll auction off an autographed one at some point…

    • Magnetude says:

      I’m at work so I can only research half of it, sadly : (

  15. Leelad says:

    I do wonder how many gamers where born on the 1 Jan 1900..

    • chabuhi says:

      I’m a bit younger than you – 1912 myself.

    • Urthman says:

      I just give my mouse wheel a good spin. As long as it lands somewhere in the first half of the 20th century, I’m good.

  16. MisterT says:

    Why does everyone keep comparing GTA to this?

    They’re as different as call of duty and ARMA 3, made for totally different reasons, and both can be enjoyable on different levels.

    • Urthman says:

      People don’t compare / contrast ARMA 3 with Call of Duty?

    • Prime says:

      I don’t understand this either. Why does everyone keep comparing the sandbox, open, free-form murder and driving simulator featuring gangs and hookers with that other sandbox, open, free-form murder and driving simulator featuring gangs and hookers???

      It makes no sense!

    • vecordae says:

      Open sandbox driving simulator featuring gangs and hookers? That DOES sound a bit familiar. Are you talking about that old Akella game Sea Dogs? Also: I can’t remember if one “drives” or if one “pilots” a boat. I suppose it depends on the ratio of jet engines to oxen.

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    liquidsoap89 says:

    Burt fucking Reynolds!

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    KindredPhantom says:

    I did not know TotalBiscuit was in the game.
    On a serious note, RPS should try their hands at the character creator for Saints Row The Third – The Initiation Station, it looks to have as much customisation as APB’s character creator.

  19. Armante says:

    Now THIS makes me want to play it :)

    I completed Red Faction: Guerilla because of it’s destructability and craziness, not so much the story.

    This has attitude in space, and thank goodness doesn’t take itself too seriously. This looks like I could pick it up and lose a couple hours from the real world to just have some fun. Remember when video games were fun?

    Then, when I feel like it, I can pick up a ‘serious’ game with intelligent plot and carefully thought-out characters, and play that..

    I’m adding this to my ‘buy on Steam and add to all the other games that I will one day have the time to play’ list though I suspect I’ll bump it right to the top. Thanks Volition

  20. Roshin says:

    /wipes tear from eye

    Thank fuck for Saint’s Row.

  21. Sabre_Justice says:

    Wait, was that a Mars level? And zombies? This game, folks. This game.