DarkEden Has A Very Stupid Trailer

By John Walker on November 8th, 2011 at 2:55 pm.

This is what all games look like to non-gamers.

Have you played DarkEden? It is, I’m told by this email, the first vampire-based MMO. Can that be true? By 2008, no one else had churned out a similarly themed online-em-up? It’s only been available in Korea and surrounding nations until now, but it’s just begun its closed beta for a N. American release. Why am I telling you about the 90 billionth Korean MMO to be latterly translated? Because I’ve seen the trailer below, and you haven’t. Let’s put that right.

The game is an isometric horror, in which three master vampires form an alliance at the mountains of Helea, where… oh who cares, the trailer has nothing to do with the game.

You can sign up for the closed beta here, should you remain compelled.

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34 Comments »

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  1. Dawngreeter says:

    I’m here from the year 1981 and I have to say that this trailer is probably the stupidest thing I have ever seen.

  2. sneetch says:

    The state of Korean dentistry is shocking!

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    MonkeyMonster says:

    OMFG, so glad I wasn’t drinking. Purely as i’d have ruined a monitor – that was hilarious :D

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    Jerricho says:

    “The game is an isometric horror”

    I see what you did thar…

  5. RabidOyster says:

    hahahahaha, thank you Mr. Walker. I remain un-compelled, but now I’m thoroughly amused.

  6. Uglycat says:

    I was hoping for a Gary Larson style ‘Vampires! They’re everywhere!’ and I’m sorely disappointed.

  7. JackDandy says:

    BRILLIANT

  8. Sky says:

    That was pure australium gold.

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    Lambchops says:

    I don’t believe in 50 pound notes . . . .

  10. Urthman says:

    I love the “survey” script: “Horror is popular during the summer. Do you believe in vampires, like Dracula?” Like she’s trying to casually work her question into a conversation.

  11. undead dolphin hacker says:

    Please use the lulwot tag as often as possible.

  12. Furius says:

    And she’s using her radio mic transmitter as a microphone! I mean come on. So unrealistic.

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      Durkonkell says:

      Oh, good grief. My inner broadcaster is appalled! My outer broadcaster too.

      The cutting between multiple angles is also impossible without multiple cameras (which would have ended up in each other’s shots) or multiple takes totally ruining the concept that this was an unrehearsed interview.

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    Oozo says:

    She does not even sparkle. Disappointed now.

  14. pmouse says:

    Ive been forced out of years of silent lurking to say , this is awful

  15. zergrush says:

    I remember playing this about a decade ago. It was a mmorpg diablo clone with guns, if I recall correctly.

  16. Dana says:

    I played it in 2004 or 5. It was quite enjoyable I must say. Vampires vs Vampire Hunters, what can go wrong ?

  17. Michael Hoss says:

    Uhm… does she fall in the end? I mean fall like “Oh look! This hot bitch is falling on her knees, let’s see if we can get a better look at her butt!”

  18. bakka bakka bakka says:

    Did a new publisher get a hold of this? I remember playing this game in like 05/06. I really hope someone else can confirm that I’m not fucking crazy.

    • Khatzen says:

      You’re not crazy, I played this around that time. I can’t remember if it was in English though.

      Turning into a Bat and flying about was cool, as was hiding in a coffin.

  19. Someblokius says:

    Let’s get the obvious ones out of the way, shall we?

    Looks like their vampires suck.
    Not much to sink your teeth into.
    That was bloody awful.
    If they think this’ll take over the MMO market, they strove in vein.
    What kind of clots do they take us for?
    /duck

  20. Squirrelly says:

    nope.avi

  21. Davie says:

    HAAAAAH

    Wow. That…was…I don’t even know. Hilarious, I guess.

  22. Jake says:

    Excellent, I would definitely play a vampire-based MMO if it was all done in this low budget Korean Naked Gun style.

  23. Raiyan 1.0 says:

    Most excellent. Better than the Diablo 3 trailer.

  24. Frankie The Patrician[PF] says:

    I think the most amusing thing about the trailer are the people hanging around in bulk and staring…

  25. rHerbo says:

    I used to play this about 5 years ago in english, so i’m not sure how I managed that O_o. Its actually a pretty decent and addictive game as I recall. Very like an MMO diablo containing a pretty hardcore PVP / Death system.