And Lo, A Mighty Warrior: Barbarian’s Back

By John Walker on November 9th, 2011 at 11:01 pm.

I remember the screams so weirdly perfectly.

You know what the world is missing? A new Barbarian game.

So there is one. Pointless teaser below.

In fairness, I bloody loved Barbarian. I played it an enormous amount on my Atari ST. I remember the confusing lady with the bikini on the box. It made me feel funny, and unsure of things.

My tummy hurts.

The best bit, of course, was when you chopped a head off and then a lizard kicked it across the screen. I hope that’s in the new game. However, this teaser from Microids (haven’t they disappeared about 27 times? – oh, it seems they’re currently owned by Anuman Interactive) doesn’t tell you anything whatsoever.

So instead, here’s a video of the good bit:

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67 Comments »

  1. Drake Sigar says:

    A golden loincloth to the first person who spouts the lyrics of that silly Conan cartoon.

  2. Taidan says:

    Ahhhh, Maria Whittaker and the legs of Wolf from Gladiators.

    Happy memories.

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    Andy_Panthro says:

    Vaguely relevant:

  4. MythArcana says:

    The graphics actually look better than the Xbawks Skyrim videos I’m seeing! Very nice indeed!

    • Felixader says:

      Oh my, fanboyism ACTUALLY makes blind, well or stupid/ignorant seeing how there is no gameplay in this.

  5. gandrewsan says:

    The best bit was definitely wandering around completely lost for hours near the end until you randomly chose the right sequence of caves(?) to go through and then promptly got your ass handed to you three seconds later. Maybe there was a system to it but my puny brain couldn’t (and I’m sure still can’t) work it out.
    Still loved it though.

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      Okami says:

      You’re mixing up Barbarian and Barbarian 2. The first one was just a series of duels with barbarians with differently coloured shirts.

  6. JThomasAlbert says:

    HOLY CARP! I loved playing this on my old Commodore 64!

    I hope they keep it simple and don’t add a lot of useless bells & whistles…like microtransactions for buying cooler helmets or swords or such.

  7. CrowPath says:

    Call me when they remake Moonstone.

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    Rikard Peterson says:

    But will it be re-imagined as a AAA FPS? Probably not, as the video says iPhone. I’m guessing a simple re-release / port.

  9. bigblack says:

    I remember watching, in awe and with jaw scraping the floor, as my friend played this on his Amiga hooked up to two gigantic 80s-era stereo speakers. The deafening clang of steel, the incredible(!) animations of the fighters and the awesome snakes rearing with each hit, and the shocking(!) violence… I WAS SO UNBELIEVABLY JEALOUS.

  10. Muzman says:

    Oh the controversy (they had Eighties Hair in prehistory?). Oh the dodgy chip-tune cover of Anvil of Crom. So much blood from so much fighting over who gets the joystick. Those were the days of little adventure.

    Personally I think there has already been a remake/update of Barbarian, and it was called Severance: Blade of Darkness.

    • alundra says:

      Oh I played blade of darkness, such a cool game! very atmospheric and very fun to play, I’ve no idea why it didn’t become a massive hit, maybe codemasters didn’t make much an effort to promote it.

    • Roshin says:

      Once you figured out that circle-strafing broke all fights (more or less) in Severance, there wasn’t a whole lot to it.

    • Muzman says:

      Circle strafing eh? I’m not aware of this trick.

      Oddly, aside from it being a bit processor intensive when it came out, I think one part of why some people didn’t like it was the barbarian. He’s on the box. They were leaning on Conan nostalgie a lot in the marketing. Reviewers, players and so on wanted to be him but he’s essentially the worst character. People found out fairly quick that being big, lumbery and unarmoured with two handed weapons is a great way to die in a fairly realistic combat game.

    • Dave L. says:

      Oddly enough, the barbarian was the best ranged class in Blade of Darkness. All of his weapons did the highest base damage, so throwing them was usually an effective tactic.

      I also remembered when I thought that since his block used his weapon instead of a shield that he would be able to block infinitely, and I thought ‘Sweet’ and got in a fight with one of the heavy orcs and was blocking like mad and laughing at the pitiful orc dude and his inability to hit me. And then my sword broke. And it was the only weapon I had.

  11. FRIENDLYUNIT says:

    My god I enjoyed this game so, so much.

  12. Ocelotspleen says:

    I just realised I’ve been listening to an endless .sid loop of the c64 music for the last 20 minutes whilst browsing this site.

  13. Tomo says:

    I used to fucking love Barbarian. I could never win, but it never got old despite being one screen an’ all…

  14. alundra says:

    Anyone knows if this Barbarian is in someway related to the other Barbarian game for the Amiga??

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j49oca99wIs

    about the cover, the name of the busty gal is Maria Whitaker, she appeared again in the cover of barbarian 2, wikipedia has some interesting remarks about it and her being replaced with Debee Ashby, on the cover of a possible barbarian 3,

    • JThomasAlbert says:

      Nope, “Barbarian” and “Barbarian 2″ weren’t associated with this game at all..

      If memory serves, the original European release of this game had a bloodier title and the publisher was afraid American parents wouldn’t buy it, so they toned down the name.

      Some years later, the “Barbarian” platformer RPGs came out.

  15. Loopy says:

    Oh I remember this on my Atari ST too. I remember taking great pleasure in annoying the hell out of my friends by repeatedly chopping their heads off when they couldn’t figure out how to do it. :)

    I don’t know what version that clip was from, but I seem to remember the sound effect of the head being kicked away was a lot meatier than that, then again, maybe it was just my being a teenager at the time that made it seem that way. ¬_¬

  16. Wahngrok says:

    Oh, I remember playing that on the C64 as childs at a friends house. The chopping off heads bit WAS funny but it was mainly rolling around that stayed in my recollection. Of course it was put on the index in Germany for excessive violence. Funny times. :)

  17. ananachaphobiac says:

    I remember my mum coming through when I was about 8 or 9 to ask what that strange “shliiickk” sound was only to find out it was a sound of me decapitating my on screen foe, combine with the lizard kicking the head away. Happy memories.

    It also taught me what a web of death was…

  18. Saiko Kila says:

    I have always preferred Barbarian II (the one with kicking apes and walkers), so I’m not that interested.

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    Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

    How many of us just started a two-player game on our own and decapitated our passive opponent?

  20. ninjapirate says:

    I used to play this on my old C64 as well!
    However, for some reason I thought the lizard used to stop and snicker – or chew on the dead body?

    • ananachaphobiac says:

      The lizard definitely snickered just before he dragged the body away. Not so sure about the chewing though.

    • iucounu says:

      Yeah, he’d come on, grab the body, turn to the camera and snicker before dragging it off, possibly booting a decapitated head off the screen on his way. I remember it with Proustian clarity.

  21. Premium User Badge

    Saul says:

    BAAR-BEAR-IAAN!
    Voice, through the PC speaker! That was the best thing.

  22. somini says:

    That’s not the barbarian I know, I’m not old(wise) enough.
    I present you: http://www.squashysoftware.com/bert.php
    The barbarian, now with Claymation. Too bad it doesn’t work in Windows 7.

  23. Premium User Badge

    Hodge says:

    Loved this game. With two joysticks and a couple of skilled players (i.e. not me) the bouts could go on for ages.

    If they are doing a straight port then I’ll be curious to see how they translate the controls to the iThings.

  24. frChuck says:

    Good game but actually pretty easy: just fight crouched, if you find the time too long, try some decapitations, it works sometimes.

  25. fuggles says:

    The Ultimate Warrior is back?!

    Fantastic, I thought he had retired from wrestling for good. I’d better tell his fans on his homepage:
    http://www.ultimatewarrior.com/

  26. Ondrej says:

    Oh damn. I just realized that I am quite old. I remember those erm.. snakes on a pillar. Snakes on a pillar!

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    JB says:

    I had that Barbarian poster, and I remember clearly that Ms. Whitaker was wearing a gold chainmail bra (I can’t think why that would stick in my mind. Ahem). I guess it was added afterwards. Ye olde photoshoppe.

    • Kieron Gillen says:

      The sequel had the metal bikini.

      This is quite the comment thread.

      KG

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      JB says:

      Ah, thinking about it, the barbarian’s legs were in a slightly different position on my poster.

      Isn’t it odd, the crap our brains hold on to?

    • Kieron Gillen says:

      Sadly, due to being a teenage boy at the time, anything directly attached to bosoms from the period leads to total recall.

      KG

    • Skabooga says:

      Speaking of Total Recall and bosoms . . .

  28. Premium User Badge

    Hanban says:

    I’m unsure if it’s the same game.. But when I was a wee one we had a barbarian game for the commodore 64. I remember it being extremely difficult and that you got your head lopped of, fought hydras and had to traverse giant holes.

  29. RogB says:

    i was really expecting this video to link to this abomination….

    AGE OF BARBARIAN
    http://www.gametrailers.com/video/pre-alpha-trailer-age-of/723685

    could maybe be considered NSFW, in a Boris Vallejo 80′s fantasy sense.

    • Muzman says:

      Wh–ow! Quality.
      Could rival Limbo of the Lost for gall there.

  30. dee says:

    Interplay is still around?

  31. Gothnak says:

    Barbarian.. Ooh i thought.. Then i saw the word ‘Microids’ a name i shall never forget for making the last company i worked at (Black cactus of Warrior Kings fame) going bust with them owing us £1million when they decided to make their UK arm bankrupt.

    So no, i shall not be buying this, and i hope none of you will.

  32. Vexing Vision says:

    This and Archon (followed by Hyperball, Gauntlet 2 and Ballblazer) where THE most-played two-players-two-joysticks-one-screen games. Actually, the last time I played this on a C128 was two years ago….

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    princec says:


    Conan! What is best in life?

    (Also, the a tag seems a bit buggered in this comments system)

    Cas :)

  34. Subv3rse says:

    Reminds me of Moonstone… (So underrated!)

  35. jefe414 says:

    I had this on PC (in the U.S.). It was called “Deathsword”. I made it all the way to the final boss – the wizard who kidnapped the princess. He killed me and i never played the single-player again.

  36. MadMatty says:

    in total, i can only say agreed!
    agreeing with Whittaker- agreeing with head lobbing.

    Bloody nostalgia- can´t you get rid of it?

  37. Lobotomist says:

    I am absolute master of this game.
    And can challenge anyone to prove it ;)

  38. Initialised says:

    I used to play Barbarian until my score got so high the Spectrum would crash!

    Been longing for an upto date version since the disappointing sequel.