HANDBALL! Oh Actually Sorry, That’s Allowed

By John Walker on November 16th, 2011 at 4:11 pm.

Imagine a version but where you play with your feet.

Ask anyone in the street which sport is sorely underrepresented in PC gaming, and they reply, “Handball”. And then you’ll both stare at each other for a beat, and then burst out giggling. Because, see, “hand” and “ball” are both words used for common human anatomical parts, and when you put a “hand” near a “ball”, it can have a sexual connotation, and thus when the two words are closely situated there’s a degree of innuendo* that is inherently amusing. Handball. Snnnnnnnnorrrrrrrt.

Fortunately, that’s come to an end. Both the previous paragraph, and the lack of handball (snigger) games on PC. Because we have IHF Handball Challenge 12.

Despite its jaunty “12″ rather than “2012″, or even “’12″, this is the first of (what I assume they hope will be) a new series of games developed by Neutron Games. They’re a small team who have been going for four years, dedicated to realising hand-to-ball as a game. Being German, they’ve picked up the official license holding position for the German handball league, as well as the International Handball Federation (hence this game), and a Spanish equivalent too.

The game’s been out for a few weeks now, with a big update coming soon. Handball (snrkk), I believe, is a bit like “hot potato”, except with goals. Erm, here’s a trailer:

Oh my goodness, those in-game menus look familiar…

You can buy it if you want. It costs a rather large €40. I was really only posting this so I could laugh at “handball”.

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50 Comments »

  1. Brumisator says:

    Those ingame menus look nothing like skyrim!
    And I know not of any other videogame in existence.

  2. tKe says:

    I’m wondering what the footnote for innuendo* was…

  3. BoZo says:

    This is AWESOME! I’ve played handball for 10 years and always been wondering when there would be such a game.

  4. FCA says:

    Screw handball, they should make a computer game of korfball.

    Finally, a game where men and women compete together, and of course, my country rules the world.

    Except for that one time we lost to Belgium, but we got them back by invading them in 2012… ehm, I’m not supposed to talk about that really.

    And of course, one of the strongest teams in the strongest national competition comes from Koog aan de Zaan, which makes it even stranger than cricket to foreigners indeed.

    • Eddy9000 says:

      The Dutch team lost to Belgium? How humiliating. As an Englishman I can’t possibly comprehend how embarrasing it must be to lose to other nationalities at a sport your own country invented.

  5. Eddy9000 says:

    Hand-to-ball surely?

  6. Italia says:

    Wow.

    This game looks absolutely….awful!

  7. capeutaine says:

    They seem to be quite realistic concerning the number of people attending to matches.

  8. Muzman says:

    “Handball? Snnnnnnoooorrrre” seems more appropriate.
    What the hell is it? Like, Water polo on land or something?
    This and synchronised swimming prove inclusion in the Olympics is all down to hookers and blow.

    • PoulWrist says:

      While I detest all sports taking up time on TV, handball is actually interesting and exciting to watch. Not like the ultimately boring football, or american football, or whatever else they put on there where a few people run around on huge fields doing nothing much for hours at a time. Handball, 2 half of 30mins and the field is like 1/4 of a football field and there’s almost as many players. And they smack eachother up all the time and there are goals constantly. Exciting. But of course, still boring. But out of the boring garbage that is sports on TV, it’s the least boring.

  9. lijenstina says:

    Only individuals with lesser societal status pass time watching an gathering of humans around an inflated leather sphere being thrown at the specific target using the free upper limbs. Real homo sapiens attend sporting events about applying physical force on an inflated leather sphere by lower limbs used for locomotion or their cranium. .

  10. fallingmagpie says:

    Australia aren’t very good, then?

    • Saul says:

      Hey, my little brother plays for the South Australian team! True, it’s easier to get into than a street party. But hey, that’s not the point! They have fun, and collide heavily with each other a lot.

  11. ruislipeagles says:

    Please get out of your country before speaking about Handball. It is as known in the UK as Cricket is in 75% of world countries …

    Handball is the 2nd most played sport in Europe in both Men/Women. It is a very rude sports, most commonly compared to Rugby with the contacts, except that you cannot tackle someone to the floor.

    There is a Test Event with the GB Team playing from the 23rd to the 27th of November in the Olympic Handball Arena, just stop by and realize by yourself that this sport is nothing more than awesome.

    Speaking about IHF Challenge, this is a really good PC Game knowing that this is the first ever PC Handball Game. I was expecting it to be really awfull as I am a Handball player and really aware of the IA needed, but I was quite impressed overall.

    For your information GB Women Team is getting into the army’s training while doing their camp before London 2012, this is a sport for strong, athletic, technical and tactical people.

    And if you want to see by yourself in a training, please let me know, I’d be happy to show you how amazing and breathtaking this sport is, specially when you play it

    • Will Tomas says:

      It is a very rude sports…

      I think that’s what John was getting at…

    • ruislipeagles says:

      Having played that PC Game in Demo mode, the contacts between attack and defensive players are not really well displayed.

      I was just saying that regarding the comparison with “Hot Potato” game :p which is a comparison far away from reality

    • mackemforever says:

      Exactly what I was coming on here to say!

      I’m a Brit but have played handball for a couple of years now and absolutely love it. I know there isn’t a single team in the UK that can hold a candle to any team in Europe, and our national teams are terrible, but I still love it!

      Fast, physical, very tactical, great sport allround.

      Also, I agree on the game. Not amazing but not exactly a bad effort for the first proper handball game ever, although I do think that it should be cheaper than it is.

    • Enso says:

      Never heard of it. Googled it and I totally agree now. First video result is brilliant.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Owq2aA2Z31s
      Also this
      http://youtu.be/3mkekptqhy4

  12. Kollega says:

    ” – Pepper?”
    ” – Kip?”
    ” – Hello, Pepper. Today, we are reporting about the sport most beloved by philistines, douchebags, and all-around scum of the earth, the kind of people that punch other people for not wearing their baseball caps sideways. We’re at handball, ladies and gentlemen!”

  13. Sergey Galyonkin says:

    I demand you to replace video in post with much more relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itcyVIfbvzo

  14. iucounu says:

    The guy in the bottom right hand corner of the screen shot is so excited he’s shat himself, it seems.

  15. Roaring Panda says:

    Lol, even the seats in the virtual version are empty.

  16. Hodge says:

    Am I the only one here who thinks handball is a game played with a tennis ball on set of painted squares?

    • JuJuCam says:

      Where I’m from we call that game Four Square. Handball is a two player game played against a wall, basically squash with your hands.

  17. MiniMatt says:

    I’m cursed now to sit here trying to think of vaguely rude sounding sports to pitch as a video game. Best I’ve got so far is a rather crude horse racing simulator called “Knob Jockey”

  18. Jengaman says:

    This would only work if it was like..Mario Handball or something.
    or Megaman handball….. or Team fortress : Handball
    now that would be shweet

  19. lijenstina says:

    Handgrenade is a much more explosive and dynamic sport.

  20. Craig Stern says:

    Soooo…it’s basketball with a soccer goal and a goalie?

  21. Gaytard Fondue says:

    The RPS take on sports: “Sports, huh huh huh”

  22. mbp says:

    I protest.

    Here in Ireland we have been playing handball for years and it is nothing at all like that video. It is usually done in an alley or a against a wall. You can actually do it on your own if you like but it is more fun with two or even four. You take turns at hitting a ball off the wall. The objective of the game is to use your hand or fist to make a shot.

    If you think I am making this up you can read all about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaelic_handball

    • shitflap says:

      That’s what I was hoping this was too. I am disappoint :(
      Some of my mates went to a CB school where they had courts for this, but I can testify that the Basque people are mad for it too, they destroyed a few of us when I was over there for a visit.

    • n0s says:

      Lol, yeah… I think the operative word in the title of that article is “Gaelic” and not “handball”… Considering the fact “Irish football” for some odd reason is a sport all of its own (and very very weird).

      Every other country on the planet calls the sport in the video Handball, and is an official Olympic event. Americans keep misnaming their sports, don’t you guys start as well :)

  23. MikoSquiz says:

    “Handball” can mean a lot worse. Especially if used as a verb.

  24. thesmileman says:

    I heard they are having a celebrity edition late next year call, Jonah Falcon’s IHF Handball 13 1/2.

  25. free keno says:

    Awful game! Plus Handball is so boring as a sport….

  26. PoulWrist says:

    Funny how noone seems to know handball, which is rather huge in europe. Not that I care to watch it, or any other sport on TV, but IF I must watch a sport on TV, I’d rather it be handball. At least something happens in that and you see impressive physical feats all the time when it’s going on. And it lasts a mercifully short 2×30 mins.
    Football on the other hand is 2×45 mins of nothing at all happening on a huge field with tiny men running around looking lost chasing a tiny ball. So dull! Nothing happens! But yet, it’s followed by millions of people, living vicariously through the sport, destroying stadiums, killing people, causing mass destruction and mayhem, over something so boring that you are constantly in danger of falling asleep during it… if nothing else, handball doesn’t have crazy losers destroying property and lives and getting into flamewars across any forum that also includes a sports section.

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