The Darkness II Co-Op Contains Festive Fun

By Adam Smith on December 20th, 2011 at 11:41 am.

Imagine I've photoshopped in a Santa hat. Japes!

It’s all sleigh bells ring-a-ding-jingling and jolly little scamps scurrying about the place in search of the true meaning of Christmas in these latest trailers for The Darkness II. Except for all the evisceration, shooting-in-the-face and limb-lopping, which is what you’ll see for every single second that isn’t a series of logos angrier than Mr Angrylad Furyface from Hateville, Nebraskinforabeating. That actually leaves precisely no room for festive fun of the seasonal variety, but plenty for those who celebrate the cathartic kiss of axe and intestine. These are the murderous folk available in the recently revealed co-op mode.

You can actually learn more about these characters in the previous co-op trailer but why would you want to? There’s a wealth of biographical information right here. Be prepared to have logos scream at you for about six hours total if you watch them all.

Inugami, eh? The stories I could tell you about Inugami. For instance, did you know that he can always be found shooting people with a gun when he’s not cutting them in half with a sword. Those are the things that he does.

If it isn’t my old friend, Jimmy! The times we’ve had, the places we’ve been. He’s a complex man, is Jimmy. Why, when he’s not shooting people with a gun he’s invariably cutting them in half with an axe.

Ah, Shoshanna, Shoshanna, Shoshanna. What aspect of her storied past should I touch upon? Let’s just say this: when she’s not shooting people with a gun, odds are she’s shooting people with her other gun.

JP Dumond. When he’s not shooting people with a gun he’s lifting them into the air using a voodoo skull-stick and pulling them into pieces, or levitating them in the direction of an oncoming train, unless he’s creating a localised black hole into which they are drawn and compacted into spam cubes. Also wields a significant beard. I think we have a winner.

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7 Comments »

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  1. sneetch says:

    Those poor, poor logos!

  2. New Games Review says:

    “JP Dumond. When he’s not shooting people with a gun he’s lifting them into the air using a voodoo skull-stick and pulling them into pieces, or levitating them in the direction of an oncoming train, unless he’s creating a localized black hole into which they are drawn and compacted into spam cubes.”

    After this paragraph it then says:

    “Also wields a significant beard. I think we have a winner.”

    WOW totally irrelevant but totally funny. LOL

    • sneetch says:

      Hey look, it’s Emmanuelle, now posting under New Games Review. Have you stolen this article yet?

    • Unaco says:

      It’s not stealing Sneetch… nothing has been “stolen”, but rather copied without permission or payment.

    • sneetch says:

      Yeah, yeah, yeah I am aware of the distinction, it’s copyright infringement. However I still personally consider it a form of theft, you’re taking a copy of someone’s work without permission and passing it off as your own and damn the semantics.

    • Raticus79 says:

      What a leech. It’s one of those situations where RPS could sue for the plagiarism but it probably wouldn’t be worth it due to the amounts involved.
      (not a lawyer)

  3. Rider on the Storm says:

    Jimmy’s a Celtic FC fan. lol