It’s the season of giving. The season of giving SLAUGHTER SLAUGHTER SLAUGHTER SLAUGHTER SLAUGHTAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAH.
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Rock, Paper, Shotgun
Archive for December, 2011
Slay bells
The Games Of Christmas ’11: Day Six
By Alec Meer on December 6th, 2011.
The Lengest Journey: Mountains Of Madness
By Adam Smith on December 6th, 2011.
When I noticed that Big Fish had released a Mountains of Madness game I was immediately apoplectic with rage. I gnashed my teeth and raged at anyone who would listen, clamouring about the disgraceful behaviour of reducing my favourite Lovecraft tale into a series of loosely connected scenes in which the only challenge is to click on a random smattering of household detritus stuck in a snowdrift. Then I tried the demo, which allows an hour of play in what sources inform me is approximately a three hour game. Were sixty minutes enough to change my baseless opinion?
Up And At ‘Em: Tribes Ascend
By Adam Smith on December 6th, 2011.
Are you playing Tribes: Ascend? There’s a surefire method of entering the beta but it involves parting with cash: anyone who pays for a preorder receives automatic access, but simply registering at the site also provides a chance to receive a code. Along with Firefall, Tribes is one of the few upcoming online man-shooters I have a real interest in and it’s not entirely because of my unhealthy jetpack fetish. Ascend, in particular, appears to reward good old-fashioned weapon skills, as highlighted by this new trailer.
If You Strike It Down… Galaxies Reborn?
By Alec Meer on December 5th, 2011.
Poor old Star Wars Galaxies will sleep the dreamless, eternal sleep in just a couple of weeks, not entirely uncoincidentally around the time EA’s The Old Republic fires up its servers. For the valiant few who’d remained with SOE’s bizzare, ambitious, messy, remarkable MMO, it will be an unhappy day. As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in annoyance and were suddenly silenced, then went to a forum to complain.
However, an enterprising few mean to keep the game alive – specifically, in the form it was before the controversial Combat Upgrade that so upset many of the faithful.
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Beta Blockers: Minecraft Turns Lego
By John Walker on December 5th, 2011.
You know how Minecraft is a bit like the world’s biggest and most elaborate Lego set? Except here you start with more green and brown blocks than even Simon Lego himself owns. Well, monolithic megacorp, Mojang, are discussing a deal with the Danish blockmasters to release official Minecraft Lego. They are only next door to the Swedish devs, after all. The news comes via Mojang bod Daniel Kaplan’s Twitter feed, who reports that they’ve gotten past the first stage of Lego’s peculiar means of developing specific themed packs. Via LEGO CUUSOO, someone’s idea for a Lego set appears in a Kickstarter-style site, except here all people are pledging is their support for the idea. Get to 10,000 votes and the idea gets looked at by Lego. And now Kaplan reports they are now chatting with Mojang about the prospect.
Getting Tanked: Steel Armour: Blaze Of War
By John Walker on December 5th, 2011.
Mr Timothy Stone, in his superb regular column The Flare Path, has been keeping an eye on Steel Armour: Blaze Of War. In fact, he’s interviewed the team behind it. And today there’s a new trailer for the ultro-realistic tank sim.
A Playing Of Roles: Game Of Thrones
By Adam Smith on December 5th, 2011.
This is the RPG Of Thrones, not the duff strategy one. News comes via Sean Bean, who just lobbed a brick through my window with this note attached.
“‘Ow do. Who would have thunk that an ordinary lad from Yorkshire would become the King of the Rings and the Warrior Lord of Westeros? Not me mam. She said I were too mardy for t’be loved by millions. This ‘ere game then. There’s two fellas to make pretend as – Mors, from yon Night’s Watch, and Alester, a Red Priest come back from flippin’ exile. Aye. Ye’ll tek a gander at that Wall oop north, which I’m nithered just to put mind to, an’ all folks in it’ll look jus’ like actors on telly.”
Intriguing, I’m sure you’ll agree. Elaboration and new images below.
A fix for office chairs causing painful bottoms
PC On TV: Showing Off For Fun & Profit
By Alec Meer on December 5th, 2011.
My significant other has been away a bit lately, and being the wanton reprobate that I am, I immediately took advantage of this unmonitored freedom. Then I got bored of wandering around the shops in my underpants while bellowing David Bowie and Bing Crosby’s Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth at pensioners, so I devised some other way to indulge myself. But what?
I had it. The sofa was mine, all mine. The television was mine, all mine. I need no longer be banished to my tiny, airless ‘study’ to play PC games. I lugged my brute of a system (purely in mass, not in power, alas) to the living room, shivered at humiliating recollections of abortive, time-wasting similar attempts past, and set to work.
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The EA Banammer Strikes Back
EA Origin Bans: Update Edition
By John Walker on December 5th, 2011.
To keep you up to date with the status of our investigation into EA’s dubious banning players from accessing their Origin account games (mostly multiplayer, although we’re hearing exceptions), we have, well, no news.
Unfortunately, despite repeated attempts to receive a statement on EA’s current position on their banning procedure, we have only been met with silence for the last fortnight. After some initial responses, pointing affected customers toward their support lines, we received an ambiguous statement that avoided the current issue and rather said there were plans to “review” whatever the current secret policy might be. And then no responses to our emails since. All the while, we’re hearing of case after case of customers being affected.
Onwards Is Upwards: Against The Wall
By Adam Smith on December 5th, 2011.
I’ve only played a very early version of Against The Wall, which presents an environment so empty that it’s little more than a proof of concept, but it almost immediately wormed its way inside my head and it’s now near the top of the massive list of things that I’m excited about and will furiously attempt to keep track of. It has a brilliant, somewhat Borgesian premise that it’s hard to imagine in terms of exploration and navigation until you play it.
This world is an infinite vertical surface composed of irregularly-sized white bricks. Entire civilizations and ecosystems cling for survival on the side of The Wall, everyone and everything existing under the constant threat of tumbling into the endless sky.
Doesn’t that sound absolutely fascinating? There’s a short trailer tumbling in the endless space below and you can download the alpha here.
Night time emissions
The Games of Christmas ’11: Day Five
By RPS on December 5th, 2011.
If you were running a commercial website, the most important thing you could do would be to make sure you put the game name in a prominent position in the post, and of course in the title, to ensure the maximum presence on Google. What would be ridiculous would be an annual massive feature in which you hide the name of the games in question, even from the tags, in order to maintain an air of surprise. But then as Saint Cliff taught us, Christmas is about giving, not receiving. So what are you – who is getting it ALL wrong – receiving today?
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- ulix : “I would advise aganinst playing it (now). You should wait until it is patched two or three more times. It still has many little bugs ...” on Ubisoft BlueByte Changes Anno 2070 DRM
- Bluerps : “I sillt think it is a lot like Limbo, apart from the gameplay.” on Cruel World: Q – Compressing The Heart
- Vinraith : “If it's worth playing, it's worth paying real money for. If it's not worth playing, why are you buying it?” on Bunny Homicides: Grim Overgrowth Footage
- BreadBitten : “The one criticism I have towards BioShock is that the game felt somewhat weightless. It's hard for me to properly express it, but it was ...” on Levine On… Bias, Trust, SWAT & Tennis
- Muzman : “Additionally: There's loads of people who are early adopters of all sorts of junk. The latest gadget or attachment or computer part or funny shaped ...” on Bunny Homicides: Grim Overgrowth Footage
