Can digital information really constitute a barrage? I don’t know, but I’m scared. Barrages sound nasty to me, but Rockstar have pledged to send a barrage of Max Payne 3 info at us over “the coming weeks and months.” I’ve looked at the first missive from their asset-cannon, and it’s only some screenshots rather than gunshot or a disease-riddled corpse, so I think we’re safe for now. They’ve also included some captions on these screenshots, which I shall quote verbatim* below.
Max seeks vengeance on the man who sold him a pair of exploding trousers.
Tired of slowly having to collect better guns throughout the game for a third time, Max shortcuts by bolting the sun itself to the end of his pistol.
“No, not this time,” thought Max. “I’ve killed 318,924 men in my life. I just don’t think I can shoot another one, even if he is lurking creepily in the shadows in exactly the way a natural born killer would. I’ll just hide here instead, and complete my emasculation by shooting my own cock off with this assault rifle.”