Yarngasm: Saints Row 3′s Genki Bowl VII DLC

By John Walker on January 10th, 2012 at 4:02 pm.

The saddest of the pandas.

Next Tuesday will see the release of the first DLC for last year’s fantastic Saints Row: The Third, Genki Bowl VII. What is it? According to the details we’ve received, it’s some sort of in-game event that will feature a number of games. And they are… Sexy Kitten Yarngasm, Sad Panda Skyblazing, Angry Tiger’s Apocalypse Genki, and Super Ethical PR Opportunity. Yes indeed. There’s a teaser trailer and some screenshots below.

So the leader of the Saints – that would be you – has been selected to appear on Professor Genki’s seventh annual television event, which involves those activities mentioned above. Sad Panda Skyblazing will apparently have us sailing through the skies, while the Apocalypse Genki involves fighting through shark-infested jungles. And of course a Yarngasm means you’ll be crushing innocents to death with a giant ball of wool.

All hail Genki.

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37 Comments »

  1. Premium User Badge

    ChainsawHands says:

    Super Murder Cat!

  2. awickedone says:

    The first picture may have to become my desktop wallpaper.

  3. Vexing Vision says:

    I am not entirely certain what SR3 did to me.

    But I am entirely willingly to purchase any DLC it throws at me.

    This is not me, this is not myself….

  4. Blackcompany says:

    This game is more fun than any mature adult should have with it. Like Vexing Vision, I have no idea what this game has done to me, either. I should not enjoy it. Should in fact condemn it as infantile humor and needless violence for its own sake.
    .
    But I love it. Can’t play it enough, frankly. If it weren’t for Steam holiday sales this would be the only game I play. Well, this and that other little game, with the Dragons in it.

    • Vexing Vision says:

      Yeah, this..

      I don’t like DLC. I buy expansions for games I enjoy, but the only DLC I ever bought was Shale for Dragon Age Origins.

      I don’t like GTA, really. Driver bored me. But Saint’s Row just works on so many different levels that I am currently about to start a full second playthrough after spending up to 40 hours in the first one. Because I want. It’s just glorious, and maybe I’ll wait a little longer to get all the DLC….

      Oh hell. There’ll be a third playthrough, as well.

    • Blackcompany says:

      The game is just too much fun not to play. My girlfriend loves it as well, and we play co-op. I still recall the night I decided I wanted a helicopter. We had not reached the point in the storyline where you might or might not be rewarded one. All I knew was that they were in the game and I wanted to test the “boundaries” as far as freedom and game play went.
      .
      In other words, I meant to steal a flying thing.
      .
      So I stole a motorcycle, rode to the airport, stole a jet. I flew over the military base and jumped from the plane right onto a helipad. From which, I stole a helicopter and returned it my crib landing pad. No repercussions. No “you can’t have this yet, since you aren’t the right level” sort of crap. Nope – I just scored a helicopter.
      .
      Did the same thing with other intriguing flying things, as well.
      .
      Its this reckless freedom and carefree mayhem that makes the game so appealing. Can’t get enough of a game that allows – nay, encourages – these sorts of shenanigans.

    • Wulf says:

      I’m actually, quite frankly, far less bothered by the violence of this than Skyrim. I AM SORRY BUT IT IS TRUE. The reason being is that The Third makes no form of pretence toward nobility or purpose, in fact, it doesn’t really try to invest you at all in that regard. It’s just silly, and rather stupid, and it doesn’t pretend to be intelligent thus coming across as a homicidal and obnoxious pseudo-intellectual.

      The more something pretends to be noble, or attempts to glorify or glam up violence as an honourable, worthwhile thing, the more it’ll bother me. The Third doesn’t try to tell people that this violence is good, nor does it tell people that it is right, nor does the game claim that you will be helping many thousands of potential people (which probably don’t exist) with your homicidal actions. It is, in a very honest way, nothing more than a not very bright, comical murder simulator.

      Skyrim is also not very bright, and a murder simulator. But instead of being comical and facetious, instead of parodying and using satire and humour, it employs glory, glam, and nobility. That’s what bothers me. No, Skyrim, geocidal asshats aren’t heroes. If you knew that as much as The Third does, then perhaps you wouldn’t irritate me so very, very much. So yes, this does offend me far, far less.

    • Blackcompany says:

      Wulf, I agree completely. I think, perhaps, the problem is one of intent. Skyrim purports to be a role playing game. The slogan “on the box” even says, “Live another life, in another world.” Skyrim attempts to replace your reality with its own while you are a part of its world. It wants to be lived in, to be believed. To subjugate and replace your own existence with this new one, if only for a time.
      .
      In healthy, controlled doses, such escapism is fine. Except for the violence. In Fallout New Vegas, I could choose who to kill, for the most part. Hell I could likely have had a violence-free playthrough, if I tried really, really hard and got good at speech. As it was I rarely if ever killed in that game, and then only exclusively in self defense against Vipers and Jackals, and the Fiends – who, the game clearly explained to me, were outlaws who raided and preyed upon innocents.
      .
      My actions in New Vegas were guided by context. I knew the bad from the good. I knew the only real cure for a member of the Legion was a bullet to the brain pan. But I still felt real remorse there all the same. That was their way of life, the only one they had ever known and the only one to which they had ever been exposed. Many of them knew no better. The violence was there, but it was contextual and had a weight to it that is lacking in Skyrim, which is basically a medieval Mass Murder Simulator.
      .
      In Skyrim the people you kill have labels. No real purpose, except as fodder for your sword. They die in droves, for little to no reason. And your actions – your decisions, which you mostly cannot make – have no weight, no relevance. Two examples come to mind:
      .
      The Falmer servants are humans. Held captive in the dark, they are forced to serve the Falmer. So I killed the monstrous Falmer – themselves once slaves to the Dwemer, and knowing no other way but to enslave and force others to serve their needs. So, the Falmer slaves are free to go, and can return with me to the surface, right?
      .
      Wrong. They fought me. Until the last, they fought me. I was their way out of the dark, their salvation from a fate perhaps worse than death. And they died for their captors as opposed to going free with me. Just…unforgivably stupid, that.
      .
      The other…oh this is good. I am Thane of Whiterun (aren’t well all; take that, TES MMO fans.) The Battleborns hired thugs to kill me. I have the note to prove it. So I want to have their Patriarch jailed and his lands and titles seized. Maybe even execute him. Except…I can’t. At all. No option to do so. And I cannot execute him, even myself – he’s Essential..
      .
      So much for Skyrim as a role playing game.
      .
      On the other hand, Saints Row knows it is a game. It never once tries to present the violence as meaningful, helpful or correct. It never tries to proscribe to your actions some moral or meaning. It is violence and mayhem for its own sake and you go in knowing this.
      .
      But Skyrim…I expected role playing, not a medieval, mass-murder simulator.

  5. CaspianRoach says:

    Caspianroach’s insight of the future tells that one of the future DLC’s will include dragons.

    • Blackcompany says:

      I can see now the Saints Row: The Third – The Lost Rolled Up Papers. Plans for armored flying behemoths have leaked to the wrong parties. Now the Syndicate is trying to reclaim Steelport using these gigantic, armored flying dragon machines.
      .
      There’s only one way to stop them – the DOVA Team. (Dragon Operation Vehical Assault Team.) DOVA Team are not pleased that their plans were leaked, and are willing to cut the Saints some slack in exchange for assistance taking on the sudden resurgence of the Syndicate…
      .
      Or something like that. But yeah…I could see it.

    • caddyB says:

      I won’t be paying for a dlc with a finite number of dragons.

    • Blackcompany says:

      Definitely would need infinite dragons. I agree. But I’d buy it if it had them.

    • Wulf says:

      The Third: The Crusty Old Blueprints?

      I’d also love to see them slap Bethesda across the face (symbolically!) by actually making it so that instead of destroying the dragons, you reprogram them to be mostly peaceful, riddle-happy dragons who help out the Saints whenever they need it.

      “Dude, dragons are awesome! Killing a dragon is just sick and wrong. We may be Saints, but we’re not monsters. I can’t do it.”

  6. Caleb367 says:

    MURDER TIME FUN TIME!!!

  7. Buemba says:

    Is this one of the DLC packs included in the season pass?

    Also, I don’t know what “Super Ethical PR Opportunity” entails, but I can’t wait to find out.

    • Premium User Badge

      Vandelay says:

      Picked this up from the THQ store for £15 along with a free season pass, so I was going to ask this very question. Rather excellent, but it does beg the question, how much DLC are they planning, if the season pass includes those three? Thay can’t be giving it all out with the pass.

    • Premium User Badge

      RobF says:

      Yeah. Just a heads up to anyone with a season pass though if you try and “buy” it outside of the game, you’ll still get charged for it. So don’t grab it from the Steam store or anything like that, make sure it’s all done from inside Saints Row and Genkibowl is free.

      So sayeth Volition somewhere deep past the age gate on the Saints Row site.

      Also PRAISE GENKI

      And a giant ball of? Oh my.

    • LazyBoot says:

      I purchased the season pass on steam, and this one is already in my owned dlc list for steam… So I’m fully expecting steam to take care of it for me

  8. Rauten says:

    Is the season pass still available? if so, SOLD.

  9. Dominic White says:

    If you got the game direct from THQ (which was actually cheaper than most other digital sources, and got you a Steam key anyway), you get this and the next two major addons for free. Nifty. The season pass doesn’t include any of the silly costume packs though, except for the NyteBlade one.

  10. Rexicon1 says:

    Calling it, last boss of Genkidome is Gat.

    e: GENKI IS GAT!

  11. magnus says:

    Aha, more to do with my Tura Satana lookey likey Saint’s leader!

    http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/612721425844095460/C025C53563A46DF1E27795E33ED3D1FA24504BD7/

    Anyway, I sure I killed Professor Genki in the real game, he was beating up pedestrians so I thought I’d join in and then he started on me! After 5 RPG rounds, he didn’t finish.

    • westyfield says:

      Genki’s a random spawn. I saw him, killed him, then hours later saw him again.

    • magnus says:

      Random spawn? Oh bugger!

    • westyfield says:

      Yep. From the SR3 wiki:
      “In a Saints Row: The Third livestream, V-Singular (Volition, Inc.’s community manager) revealed that there is a 1 in 100 chance that Professor Genki will spawn in the world. If the player kills him they will get “big prizes”. As of now, this prize is either $100,000 or $300,000, and the player will level up. Genki spawns with weapons (typically the Annihilator or Stun Gun, and sometimes nothing at all) and a large amount of health, so he will fight back. He can make you involuntarily breakdance (Similar to the Mollusk Launcher) and can stun you by hitting you in the balls.”
      http://saintsrow.wikia.com/wiki/Professor_Genki

  12. Sami H says:

    How much will this cost?

    • tungstenHead says:

      $20 for the season pass which gets you the three DLC packs at a 15% discount. That means it should be about $8 for each piece of DLC individually.

  13. Moonracer says:

    I was expecting to only want Gangstas in Space, but the season pass is looking like a good choice.

  14. Navagon says:

    This all looks so yarngasmically ethical.

  15. Crunchman says:

    Will purchase as soon as a patch or updated drivers arrive for the PC version. Performance problems.

    • Dominic White says:

      Dual-core CPU, by any chance? There’s been a lot of games released in the past few years that state a dual-core as the minimum requirement, but that really should just read ‘The game will start’. Modern game engines and GPUs really struggle unless you’ve got 3 or more CPU threads going.